第 6 节
作者:博搏      更新:2024-05-19 15:43      字数:9322
  would come and dine and let her ladyship take her。  She should have
  only one of her own girls; Gwendolen Vesey was to take the other。
  Rose handed both the note and the card in silence to her mother; the
  latter exhibited only the name of Miss Tramore。  〃You had much better
  go; dear;〃 her mother said; in answer to which Miss Tramore slowly
  tore up the documents; looking with clear; meditative eyes out of the
  window。  Her mother always said 〃You had better go〃there had been
  other incidentsand Rose had never even once taken account of the
  observation。  She would make no first advances; only plenty of second
  ones; and; condoning no discrimination; would treat no omission as
  venial。  She would keep all concessions till afterwards; then she
  would make them one by one。  Fighting society was quite as hard as
  her grandmother had said it would be; but there was a tension in it
  which made the dreariness vibratethe dreariness of such a winter as
  she had just passed。  Her companion had cried at the end of it; and
  she had cried all through; only her tears had been private; while her
  mother's had fallen once for all; at luncheon on the bleak Easter
  Mondayproduced by the way a silent survey of the deadly square
  brought home to her that every creature but themselves was out of
  town and having tremendous fun。  Rose felt that it was useless to
  attempt to explain simply by her mourning this severity of solitude;
  for if people didn't go to parties (at least a few didn't) for six
  months after their father died; this was the very time other people
  took for coming to see them。  It was not too much to say that during
  this first winter of Rose's period with her mother she had no
  communication whatever with the world。  It had the effect of making
  her take to reading the new American books:  she wanted to see how
  girls got on by themselves。  She had never read so much before; and
  there was a legitimate indifference in it when topics failed with her
  mother。  They often failed after the first days; and then; while she
  bent over instructive volumes; this lady; dressed as if for an
  impending function; sat on the sofa and watched her。  Rose was not
  embarrassed by such an appearance; for she could reflect that; a
  little before; her companion had not even a girl who had taken refuge
  in queer researches to look at。  She was moreover used to her
  mother's attitude by this time。  She had her own description of it:
  it was the attitude of waiting for the carriage。  If they didn't go
  out it was not that Mrs。 Tramore was not ready in time; and Rose had
  even an alarmed prevision of their some day always arriving first。
  Mrs。 Tramore's conversation at such moments was abrupt; inconsequent
  and personal。  She sat on the edge of sofas and chairs and glanced
  occasionally at the fit of her gloves (she was perpetually gloved;
  and the fit was a thing it was melancholy to see wasted); as people
  do who are expecting guests to dinner。  Rose used almost to fancy
  herself at times a perfunctory husband on the other side of the fire。
  What she was not yet used tothere was still a charm in itwas her
  mother's extraordinary tact。  During the years they lived together
  they never had a discussion; a circumstance all the more remarkable
  since if the girl had a reason for sparing her companion (that of
  being sorry for her) Mrs。 Tramore had none for sparing her child。
  She only showed in doing so a happy instinctthe happiest thing
  about her。  She took in perfection a course which represented
  everything and covered everything; she utterly abjured all authority。
  She testified to her abjuration in hourly ingenious; touching ways。
  In this manner nothing had to be talked over; which was a mercy all
  round。  The tears on Easter Monday were merely a nervous gust; to
  help show she was not a Christmas doll from the Burlington Arcade;
  and there was no lifting up of the repentant Magdalen; no uttered
  remorse for the former abandonment of children。  Of the way she could
  treat her children her demeanour to this one was an example; it was
  an uninterrupted appeal to her eldest daughter for direction。  She
  took the law from Rose in every circumstance; and if you had noticed
  these ladies without knowing their history you would have wondered
  what tie was fine enough to make maturity so respectful to youth。  No
  mother was ever so filial as Mrs。 Tramore; and there had never been
  such a difference of position between sisters。  Not that the elder
  one fawned; which would have been fearful; she only renounced
  whatever she had to renounce。  If the amount was not much she at any
  rate made no scene over it。  Her hand was so light that Rose said of
  her secretly; in vague glances at the past; 〃No wonder people liked
  her!〃  She never characterised the old element of interference with
  her mother's respectability more definitely than as 〃people。〃  They
  were people; it was true; for whom gentleness must have been
  everything and who didn't demand a variety of interests。  The desire
  to 〃go out〃 was the one passion that even a closer acquaintance with
  her parent revealed to Rose Tramore。  She marvelled at its strength;
  in the light of the poor lady's history:  there was comedy enough in
  this unquenchable flame on the part of a woman who had known such
  misery。  She had drunk deep of every dishonour; but the bitter cup
  had left her with a taste for lighted candles; for squeezing up
  staircases and hooking herself to the human elbow。  Rose had a vision
  of the future years in which this taste would grow with restored
  exerciseof her mother; in a long…tailed dress; jogging on and on
  and on; jogging further and further from her sins; through a century
  of the 〃Morning Post〃 and down the fashionable avenue of time。  She
  herself would then be very oldshe herself would be dead。  Mrs。
  Tramore would cover a span of life for which such an allowance of sin
  was small。  The girl could laugh indeed now at that theory of her
  being dragged down。  If one thing were more present to her than
  another it was the very desolation of their propriety。  As she
  glanced at her companion; it sometimes seemed to her that if she had
  been a bad woman she would have been worse than that。  There were
  compensations for being 〃cut〃 which Mrs。 Tramore too much neglected。
  The lonely old lady in Hill StreetRose thought of her that way now…
  …was the one person to whom she was ready to say that she would come
  to her on any terms。  She wrote this to her three times over; and she
  knocked still oftener at her door。  But the old lady answered no
  letters; if Rose had remained in Hill Street it would have been her
  own function to answer them; and at the door; the butler; whom the
  girl had known for ten years; considered her; when he told her his
  mistress was not at home; quite as he might have considered a young
  person who had come about a place and of whose eligibility he took a
  negative view。  That was Rose's one pang; that she probably appeared
  rather heartless。  Her aunt Julia had gone to Florence with Edith for
  the winter; on purpose to make her appear more so; for Miss Tramore
  was still the person most scandalised by her secession。  Edith and
  she; doubtless; often talked over in Florence the destitution of the
  aged victim in Hill Street。  Eric never came to see his sister;
  because; being full both of family and of personal feeling; he
  thought she really ought to have stayed with his grandmother。  If she
  had had such an appurtenance all to herself she might have done what
  she liked with it; but he couldn't forgive such a want of
  consideration for anything of his。  There were moments when Rose
  would have been ready to take her hand from the plough and insist
  upon reintegration; if only the fierce voice of the old house had
  allowed people to look her up。  But she read; ever so clearly; that
  her grandmother had made this a question of loyalty to seventy years
  of virtue。  Mrs。 Tramore's forlornness didn't prevent her drawing…
  room from being a very public place; in which Rose could hear certain
  words reverberate:  〃Leave her alone; it's the only way to see how
  long she'll hold out。〃  The old woman's visitors were people who
  didn't wish to quarrel; and the girl was conscious that if they had
  not let her alonethat is if they had come to her from her
  grandmothershe might perhaps not have held out。  She had no friends
  quite of her own; she had not been brought up to have them; and it
  would not have been easy in a house which two such persons as her
  father and his mother divided between them。  Her father disapproved
  of crude intimacies; and all the intimacies of youth were crude。  He
  had married at five…and…twenty and could testify to such a truth。
  Rose felt that she shared even Captain Jay with her grandmother; she
  had seen what HE was worth。  Moreover; she had spoken to him at that
  last moment in Hill Street in a way which; taken with her former
  refusal; made it impossible that he should come near her again。  She
  hoped he went to see his protectress:  he could be a kind of
  substitute and administer comfort。
  It so happened; however; that the day after she threw Lady
  Maresfield's invitation into the wastepaper basket she received a
  visit from a certain Mrs。 D