第 4 节
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博搏 更新:2024-05-19 15:43 字数:9321
This afternoon however she foresaw complications。 At the very outset
for instance she was not pleased with his having arranged such a
surprise for her with her grandmother and her aunt。 It was probably
aunt Julia who had sent for him; her grandmother wouldn't have done
it。 It placed him immediately on their side; and Rose was almost as
disappointed at this as if she had not known it was quite where he
would naturally be。 He had never paid her a special visit; but if
that was what he wished to do why shouldn't he have waited till she
should be under her mother's roof? She knew the reason; but she had
an angry prospect of enjoyment in making him express it。 She liked
him enough; after all; if it were measured by the idea of what she
could make him do。
In Bertram Jay the elements were surprisingly mingled; you would have
gone astray; in reading him; if you had counted on finding the
complements of some of his qualities。 He would not however have
struck you in the least as incomplete; for in every case in which you
didn't find the complement you would have found the contradiction。
He was in the Royal Engineers; and was tall; lean and high…
shouldered。 He looked every inch a soldier; yet there were people
who considered that he had missed his vocation in not becoming a
parson。 He took a public interest in the spiritual life of the army。
Other persons still; on closer observation; would have felt that his
most appropriate field was neither the army nor the church; but
simply the worldthe social; successful; worldly world。 If he had a
sword in one hand and a Bible in the other he had a Court Guide
concealed somewhere about his person。 His profile was hard and
handsome; his eyes were both cold and kind; his dark straight hair
was imperturbably smooth and prematurely streaked with grey。 There
was nothing in existence that he didn't take seriously。 He had a
first…rate power of work and an ambition as minutely organised as a
German plan of invasion。 His only real recreation was to go to
church; but he went to parties when he had time。 If he was in love
with Rose Tramore this was distracting to him only in the same sense
as his religion; and it was included in that department of his
extremely sub…divided life。 His religion indeed was of an
encroaching; annexing sort。 Seen from in front he looked diffident
and blank; but he was capable of exposing himself in a way (to speak
only of the paths of peace) wholly inconsistent with shyness。 He had
a passion for instance for open…air speaking; but was not thought on
the whole to excel in it unless he could help himself out with a
hymn。 In conversation he kept his eyes on you with a kind of
colourless candour; as if he had not understood what you were saying
and; in a fashion that made many people turn red; waited before
answering。 This was only because he was considering their remarks in
more relations than they had intended。 He had in his face no
expression whatever save the one just mentioned; and was; in his
profession; already very distinguished。
He had seen Rose Tramore for the first time on a Sunday of the
previous March; at a house in the country at which she was staying
with her father; and five weeks later he had made her; by letter; an
offer of marriage。 She showed her father the letter of course; and
he told her that it would give him great pleasure that she should
send Captain Jay about his business。 〃My dear child;〃 he said; 〃we
must really have some one who will be better fun than that。〃 Rose
had declined the honour; very considerately and kindly; but not
simply because her father wished it。 She didn't herself wish to
detach this flower from the stem; though when the young man wrote
again; to express the hope that he MIGHT hopeso long was he willing
to waitand ask if he might not still sometimes see her; she
answered even more indulgently than at first。 She had shown her
father her former letter; but she didn't show him this one; she only
told him what it contained; submitting to him also that of her
correspondent。 Captain Jay moreover wrote to Mr。 Tramore; who
replied sociably; but so vaguely that he almost neglected the subject
under discussiona communication that made poor Bertram ponder long。
He could never get to the bottom of the superficial; and all the
proprieties and conventions of life were profound to him。
Fortunately for him old Mrs。 Tramore liked him; he was satisfactory
to her long…sightedness; so that a relation was established under
cover of which he still occasionally presented himself in Hill
Streetpresented himself nominally to the mistress of the house。 He
had had scruples about the veracity of his visits; but he had
disposed of them; he had scruples about so many things that he had
had to invent a general way; to dig a central drain。 Julia Tramore
happened to meet him when she came up to town; and she took a view of
him more benevolent than her usual estimate of people encouraged by
her mother。 The fear of agreeing with that lady was a motive; but
there was a stronger one; in this particular case; in the fear of
agreeing with her niece; who had rejected him。 His situation might
be held to have improved when Mr。 Tramore was taken so gravely ill
that with regard to his recovery those about him left their eyes to
speak for their lips; and in the light of the poor gentleman's recent
death it was doubtless better than it had ever been。
He was only a quarter of an hour with the girl; but this gave him
time to take the measure of it。 After he had spoken to her about her
bereavement; very much as an especially mild missionary might have
spoken to a beautiful Polynesian; he let her know that he had learned
from her companions the very strong step she was about to take。 This
led to their spending together ten minutes which; to her mind; threw
more light on his character than anything that had ever passed
between them。 She had always felt with him as if she were standing
on an edge; looking down into something decidedly deep。 To…day the
impression of the perpendicular shaft was there; but it was rather an
abyss of confusion and disorder than the large bright space in which
she had figured everything as ranged and pigeon…holed; presenting the
appearance of the labelled shelves and drawers at a chemist's。 He
discussed without an invitation to discuss; he appealed without a
right to appeal。 He was nothing but a suitor tolerated after
dismissal; but he took strangely for granted a participation in her
affairs。 He assumed all sorts of things that made her draw back。 He
implied that there was everything now to assist them in arriving at
an agreement; since she had never informed him that he was positively
objectionable; but that this symmetry would be spoiled if she should
not be willing to take a little longer to think of certain
consequences。 She was greatly disconcerted when she saw what
consequences he meant and at his reminding her of them。 What on
earth was the use of a lover if he was to speak only like one's
grandmother and one's aunt? He struck her as much in love with her
and as particularly careful at the same time as to what he might say。
He never mentioned her mother; he only alluded; indirectly but
earnestly; to the 〃step。〃 He disapproved of it altogether; took an
unexpectedly prudent; politic view of it。 He evidently also believed
that she would be dragged down; in other words that she would not be
asked out。 It was his idea that her mother would contaminate her; so
that he should find himself interested in a young person discredited
and virtually unmarriageable。 All this was more obvious to him than
the consideration that a daughter should be merciful。 Where was his
religion if he understood mercy so little; and where were his talent
and his courage if he were so miserably afraid of trumpery social
penalties? Rose's heart sank when she reflected that a man supposed
to be first…rate hadn't guessed that rather than not do what she
could for her mother she would give up all the Engineers in the
world。 She became aware that she probably would have been moved to
place her hand in his on the spot if he had come to her saying 〃Your
idea is the right one; put it through at every cost。〃 She couldn't
discuss this with him; though he impressed her as having too much at
stake for her to treat him with mere disdain。 She sickened at the
revelation that a gentleman could see so much in mere vulgarities of
opinion; and though she uttered as few words as possible; conversing
only in sad smiles and headshakes and in intercepted movements toward
the door; she happened; in some unguarded lapse from her reticence;
to use the expression that she was disappointed in him。 He caught at
it and; seeming to drop his field…glass; pressed upon her with
nearer; tenderer eyes。
〃Can I be so happy as to believe; then; that you had thought of me
with some confidence; with some faith?〃
〃If you didn't suppose so; what is the sense of this visit?〃 Rose
asked。
〃One can be faithful without reciprocity;〃 said the young man。 〃I
regard you in a light which makes me want to protect you even if I
have nothing to gain