第 20 节
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three weary years have gone by since she began to see in me the
enemy of her days。 Now why or wherefore I know not; but it seemeth
that it would not avail her to slay me outright; or suffer me to
die; but nought withheld her from piling up griefs and miseries on
my head。 At last she set her servant; the Dwarf; upon me; even he
whose head thou clavest to…day。 Many things I bore from him whereof
it were unseemly for my tongue to tell before thee; but the time
came when he exceeded; and I could bear no more; and then I showed
him this sharp knife (wherewith I would have thrust me through to
the heart if thou hadst not pardoned me e'en now); and I told him
that if he forbore me not; I would slay; not him; but myself; and
this he might not away with because of the commandment of the Lady;
who had given him the word that in any case I must be kept living。
And her hand; withal; fear held somewhat hereafter。 Yet was there
need to me of all my wisdom; for with all this her hatred grew; and
whiles raged within her so furiously that it overmastered her fear;
and at such times she would have put me to death if I had not
escaped her by some turn of my lore。〃
〃Now further; I shall tell thee that somewhat more than a year ago
hither to this land came the King's Son; the second goodly man; as
thou art the third; whom her sorceries have drawn hither since I
have dwelt here。 Forsooth; when he first came; he seemed to us; to
me; and yet more to my Lady; to be as beautiful as an angel; and
sorely she loved him; and he her; after his fashion: but he was
light…minded; and cold…hearted; and in a while he must needs turn
his eyes upon me; and offer me his love; which was but foul and
unkind as it turned out; for when I nay…said him; as maybe I had not
done save for fear of my Mistress; he had no pity upon me; but
spared not to lead me into the trap of her wrath; and leave me
without help; or a good word。 But; O friend; in spite of all grief
and anguish; I learned still; and waxed wise; and wiser; abiding the
day of my deliverance; which has come; and thou art come。〃
Therewith she took Walter's hands and kissed them; but he kissed her
face; and her tears wet her lips。 Then she went on: 〃But sithence;
months ago; the Lady began to weary of this dastard; despite of his
beauty; and then it was thy turn to be swept into her net; I partly
guess how。 For on a day in broad daylight; as I was serving my
Mistress in the hall; and the Evil Thing; whose head is now cloven;
was lying across the threshold of the door; as it were a dream fell
upon me; though I strove to cast it off for fear of chastisement;
for the pillared hall wavered; and vanished from my sight; and my
feet were treading a rough stone pavement instead of the marble
wonder of the hall; and there was the scent of the salt sea and of
the tackle of ships; and behind me were tall houses; and before me
the ships indeed; with their ropes beating and their sails flapping
and their masts wavering; and in mine ears was the hale and how of
mariners; things that I had seen and heard in the dimness of my life
gone by。〃
〃And there was I; and the Dwarf before me; and the Lady after me;
going over the gangway aboard of a tall ship; and she gathered way
and was gotten out of the haven; and straightway I saw the mariners
cast abroad their ancient。〃
Quoth Walter: 〃What then! Sawest thou the blazon thereon; of a
wolf…like beast ramping up against a maiden? And that might well
have been thou。〃
She said: 〃Yea; so it was; but refrain thee; that I may tell on my
tale! The ship and the sea vanished away; but I was not back in the
hall of the Golden House; and again were we three in the street of
the self…same town which we had but just left; but somewhat dim was
my vision thereof; and I saw little save the door of a goodly house
before me; and speedily it died out; and we were again in the
pillared hall; wherein my thralldom was made manifest。〃
〃Maiden;〃 said Walter; 〃one question I would ask thee; to wit; didst
thou see me on the quay by the ships?〃
〃Nay;〃 she said; 〃there were many folk about; but they were all as
images of the aliens to me。 Now hearken further: three months
thereafter came the dream upon me again; when we were all three
together in the Pillared Hall; and again was the vision somewhat
dim。 Once more we were in the street of a busy town; but all unlike
to that other one; and there were men standing together on our right
hands by the door of a house。〃
〃Yea; yea;〃 quoth Walter; 〃and; forsooth; one of them was who but
I。〃
〃Refrain thee; beloved!〃 she said; 〃for my tale draweth to its
ending; and I would have thee hearken heedfully: for maybe thou
shalt once again deem my deed past pardon。 Some twenty days after
this last dream; I had some leisure from my Mistress's service; so I
went to disport me by the Well of the Oak…tree (or forsooth she
might have set in my mind the thought of going there; that I might
meet thee and give her some occasion against me); and I sat thereby;
nowise loving the earth; but sick at heart; because of late the
King's Son had been more than ever instant with me to yield him my
body; threatening me else with casting me into all that the worst
could do to me of torments and shames day by day。 I say my heart
failed me; and I was wellnigh brought to the point of yea…saying his
desires; that I might take the chance of something befalling me that
were less bad than the worst。 But here must I tell thee a thing;
and pray thee to take it to heart。 This; more than aught else; had
given me strength to nay…say that dastard; that my wisdom both hath
been; and now is; the wisdom of a wise maid; and not of a woman; and
all the might thereof shall I lose with my maidenhead。 Evil wilt
thou think of me then; for all I was tried so sore; that I was at
point to cast it all away; so wretchedly as I shrank from the horror
of the Lady's wrath。〃
〃But there as I sat pondering these things; I saw a man coming; and
thought no otherwise thereof but that it was the King's Son; till I
saw the stranger drawing near; and his golden hair; and his grey
eyes; and then I heard his voice; and his kindness pierced my heart;
and I knew that my friend had come to see me; and O; friend; these
tears are for the sweetness of that past hour!〃
Said Walter: 〃I came to see my friend; I also。 Now have I noted
what thou badest me; and I will forbear all as thou commandest me;
till we be safe out of the desert and far away from all evil things;
but wilt thou ban me from all caresses?〃
She laughed amidst of her tears; and said: 〃O; nay; poor lad; if
thou wilt be but wise。〃
Then she leaned toward him; and took his face betwixt her hands and
kissed him oft; and the tears started in his eyes for love and pity
of her。
Then she said: 〃Alas; friend! even yet mayst thou doom me guilty;
and all thy love may turn away from me; when I have told thee all
that I have done for the sake of thee and me。 O; if then there
might be some chastisement for the guilty woman; and not mere
sundering!〃
〃Fear nothing; sweetling;〃 said he; 〃for indeed I deem that already
I know partly what thou hast done。〃
She sighed; and said: 〃I will tell thee next; that I banned thy
kissing and caressing of me till to…day because I knew that my
Mistress would surely know if a man; if thou; hadst so much as
touched a finger of mine in love; it was to try me herein that on
the morning of the hunting she kissed and embraced me; till I almost
died thereof; and showed thee my shoulder and my limbs; and to try
thee withal; if thine eye should glister or thy cheek flush thereat;
for indeed she was raging in jealousy of thee。 Next; my friend;
even whiles we were talking together at the Well of the Rock; I was
pondering on what we should do to escape from this land of lies。
Maybe thou wilt say: Why didst thou not take my hand and flee with
me as we fled to…day? Friend; it is most true; that were she not
dead we had not escaped thus far。 For her trackers would have
followed us; set on by her; and brought us back to an evil fate。
Therefore I tell thee that from the first I did plot the death of
those two; the Dwarf and the Mistress。 For no otherwise mightest
thou live; or I escape from death in life。 But as to the dastard
who threatened me with a thrall's pains; I heeded him nought to live
or die; for well I knew that thy valiant sword; yea; or thy bare
hands; would speedily tame him。 Now first I knew that I must make a
show of yielding to the King's Son; and somewhat how I did therein;
thou knowest。 But no night and no time did I give him to bed me;
till after I had met thee as thou wentest to the Golden House;
before the adventure of fetching the lion's skin; and up to that
time I had scarce known what to do; save ever to bid thee; with sore
grief and pain; to yield thee to the wicked woman's desire。 But as
we spake together there by the stream; and I saw that the Evil Thing
(whose head thou clavest e'en now) was spying on us; then amidst the
sickness of terror which ever came over me whensoever I thought of
him; and much more when I saw him (ah! he is dead now!); it came
flas