wned　in　silence；　and　the　darkness　of　a　horrible　fear　came　down　upon　me。
  My　repentant　husband　would　not　let　the　servants　do　my　work；　he　must　do　it　all　himself。　　At　first　it　gave　me　unbounded　delight　to　be　dependent　on　him　thus　for　every　little　thing。　　It　was　a　means　of　keeping　him　by　my　side；　and　my　desire　to　have　him　with　me　had　become　intense　since　my　blindness。　　That　share　of　his　presence；　which　my　eyes　had　lost；　my　other　senses　craved。　　When　he　was　absent　from　my　side；　I　would　feel　as　if　I　were　hanging　in　mid…air；　and　had　lost　my　hold　of　all　things　tangible。
  Formerly；　when　my　husband　came　back　late　from　the　hospital；　I　used　to　open　my　window　and　gaze　at　the　road。　　That　road　was　the　link　which　connected　his　world　with　mine。　　Now　when　I　had　lost　that　link　through　my　blindness；　all　my　body　would　go　out　to　seek　him。　　The　bridge　that　united　us　had　given　way；　and　there　was　now　this　unsurpassable　chasm。　　When　he　left　my　side　the　gulf　seemed　to　yawn　wide　open。　　I　could　only　wait　for　the　time　when　he　should　cross　back　again　from　his　own　shore　to　mine。
  But　such　intense　longing　and　such　utter　dependence　can　never　be　good。　　A　wife　is　a　burden　enough　to　a　man；　in　all　conscience；　and　to　add　to　it　the　burden　of　this　blindness　was　to　make　his　life　unbearable。　　I　vowed　that　I　would　suffer　alone；　and　never　wrap　my　husband　round　in　the　folds　of　my　all…pervading　darkness。
  Within　an　incredibly　short　space　of　time　I　managed　to　train　myself　to　do　all　my　household　duties　by　the　help　of　touch　and　sound　and　smell。　　In　fact　I　soon　found　that　I　could　get　on　with　greater　skill　than　before。　For　sight　often　distracts　rather　than　helps　us。　　And　so　it　came　to　pass　that；　when　these　roving　eyes　of　mine　could　do　their　work　no　longer；　all　the　other　senses　took　up　their　several　duties　with　quietude　and　completeness。
  When　I　had　gained　experience　by　constant　practice；　I　would　not　let　my　husband　do　any　more　household　duties　for　me。　　He　complained　bitterly　at　first　that　I　was　depriving　him　of　his　penance。
  This　did　not　convince　me。　　Whatever　he　might　say；　I　could　feel　that　he　had　a　real　sense　of　relief　when　these　household　duties　were　over。　　To　serve　daily　a　wife　who　is　blind　can　never　make　up　the　life　of　a　man。
  II
  My　husband　at　last　had　finished　his　medical　course。　　He　went　away　from　Calcutta　to　a　small　town　to　practise　as　a　doctor。　　There　in　the　country　I　felt　with　joy；　through　all　my　blindness；　that　I　was　restored　to　the　arms　of　my　mother。　　I　had　left　my　village　birthplace　for　Calcutta　when　I　was　eight　years　old。　　Since　then　ten　years　had　passed　away；　and　in　the　great　city　the　memory　of　my　village　home　had　grown　dim。　　As　long　as　I　had　eyesight；　Calcutta　with　its　busy　life　screened　from　view　the　memory　of　my　early　days。　　But　when　I　lost　my　eyesight　I　knew　for　the　first　time　that　Calcutta　allured　only　the　eyes：　it　could　not　fill　the　mind。　　And　now；　in　my　blindness；　the　scenes　of　my　childhood　shone　out　once　more；　like　stars　that　appear　one　by　one　in　the　evening　sky　at　the　end　of　the　day。
  It　was　the　beginning　of　November　when　we　left　Calcutta　for　Harsingpur。　The　place　was　new　to　me；　but　the　scents　and　sounds　of　the　countryside　pressed　round　and　embraced　me。　　The　morning　breeze　coming　fresh　from　the　newly　ploughed　land；　the　sweet　and　tender　smell　of　the　flowering　mustard；　the　shepherd…boy's　flute　sounding　in　the　distance；　even　the　creaking　noise　of　the　bullock…cart；　as　it　groaned　over　the　broken　village　road；　filled　my　world　with　delight。　　The　memory　of　my　past　life；　with　all　its　ineffable　fragrance　and　sound；　became　a　living　present　to　me；　and　my　blind　eyes　could　not　tell　me　I　was　wrong。　　I　went　back；　and　lived　over　again　my　childhood。　　Only　one　thing　was　absent：　my　mother　was　not　with　me。
  I　could　see　my　home　with　the　large　peepul　trees　growing　along　the　edge　of　the　village　pool。　　I　could　picture　in　my　mind's　eye　my　old　grandmother　seated　on　the　ground　with　her　thin　wisps　of　hair　untied；　warming　her　back　in　the　sun　as　she　made　the　little　round　lentil　balls　to
  be　dried　and　used　for　cooking。　　But　somehow　I　could　not　recall　the　songs　she　used　to　croon　to　herself　in　her　weak　and　quavering　voice。　　In　the　evening；　whenever　I　heard　the　lowing　of　cattle；　I　could　almost　watch　the　figure　of　my　mother　going　round　the　sheds　with　lighted　lamp　in　her　hand。　The　smell　of　the　wet　fodder　and　the　pungent　smoke　of　the　straw　fire　would　enter　into　my　very　heart。　　And　in　the　distance　I　seemed　to　hear　the　clanging　of　the　temple　bell　wafted　up　by　the　breeze　from　the　river　bank。
  Calcutta；　with　all　its　turmoil　and　gossip；　curdles　the　heart。　　There；　all　the　beautiful　duties　of　life　lose　their　freshness　and　innocence。　　I　remember　one　day；　when　a　friend　of　mine　came　in；　and　said　to　me：　〃Kumo；　why　don't　you　feel　angry？　　If　I　had　been　treated　like　you　by　my　husband；　I　would　never　look　upon　his　face　again。〃
  She　tried　to　make　me　indignant；　because　he　had　been　so　long　calling　in　a　doctor。
  〃My　blindness；〃　said　I；　〃was　itself　a　sufficient　evil。　　Why　should　I　make　it　worse　by　allowing　hatred　to　grow　up　against　my　husband？〃
  My　friend　shook　her　head　in　great　contempt；　when　she　heard　such　old…　fashioned　talk　from　the　lips　of　a　mere　chit　of　a　girl。　　She　went　away　in　disdain。　　But　whatever　might　be　my　answer　at　the　time；　such　words　as　these　left　their　poison；　and　the　venom　was　never　wholly　got　out　of　the　soul；　when　once　they　had　been　uttered。
  So　you　see　Calcutta；　with　its　never…ending　gossip；　does　harden　the　heart。　　But　when　I　came　back　to　the　country　all　my　earlier　hopes　and　faiths；　all　that　I　held　true　in　life　during　childhood；　became　fresh　and　bright　once　more。　　God　came　to　me；　and　filled　my　heart　and　my　world。　　I　bowed　to　Him；　and　said：
  〃It　is　well　that　Thou　has　taken　away　my　eyes。　　Thou　art　with　me。〃
  Ah！　　But　I　said　more　than　was　right。　　It　was　a　presumption　to　say：　〃Thou　art　with　me。〃　　All　we　can　say　is　this：　〃I　must　be　true　to　Thee。〃　　Even　when　nothing　is　left　for　us；　still　we　have　to　go　on　living。
  III
  We　passed　a　few　happy　months　together。　　My　husband　gained　some　reputation　in　his　profession　as　a　doctor。　　And　money　came　with　it。
  But　there　is　a　mischief　in　money。　　I　cannot　point　to　any　one　event；　but；　because　the　blind　have　keener　perceptions　than　other　people；　I　could　discern　the　change　which　came　over　my　husband　along　with　the　increase　of　wealth。
  He　had　a　keen　sense　of　justice　when　he　was　younger；　and　had　often　told　me　of　his　great　desire　to　help　the　poor　when　once　he　obtained　a　practice　of　his　own。　　He　had　a　noble　contempt　far　those　in　his　profession　who　would　not　feel　the　pulse　of　a　poor　patient　before　collecting　his　fee。　But　now　I　noticed　a　difference。　　He　had　become　strangely　hard。　　Once　when　a　poor　woman　came；　and　begged　him；　out　of　charity；　to　save　the　life　of　her　only　child；　he　bluntly　refused。　　And　when　I　implored　him　myself　to　help　her；　he　did　his　work　perfunctorily。
  While　we　were　less　rich　my　husband　disliked　sharp　practice　in　money　matters。　　He　was　scrupulously　honourable　in　such　things。　　But　since　he　had　got　a　large　account　at　the　bank　he　was　often　closeted　for　hours　with　some　scamp　of　a　landlord's　agent；　for　purposes　which　clearly　boded　no　good。
  Where　has　he　drifted？　　What　has　become　of　this　husband　of　mine；　the　husband　I　knew　before　I　was　blind；　the　husband　who　kissed　me　that　day　between　my　brows；　and　enshrined　me　on　the　throne　of　a　Goddess？　　Those　whom　a　sudden　gust　of　passion　brings　down　to　the　dust　can　rise　up　again　with　a　new　strong　impulse　of　goodness。　　But　those　who；　day　by　day；　become　dried　up　in　the　very　fibre　of　their　moral　being；　those　who　by　some　outer　parasitic　growth　choke　the　inner　life　by　slow　degrees；such　wench　one　day　a　deadness　which　knows　no　healing。
  The　separation　caused　by　blindness　is　the　merest　physical　trifle。　　But；　ah！　　it　suffocates　me　to　find　that　he　is　no　longer　with　me；　where　he　stood　with　me　in　that　hour　when　we　both　knew　that　I　was　blind。　　That　is　a　separation　indeed！
  I；　with　my　love　fresh　and　my　faith　unbroken；　have　kept　to　the　shelter　of　my　heart's　inner　shrine。　　But　my　husband　has　left　the　cool　shade　of　those　things　that　are　ageless　and　unfading。　　He　is　fast　disappearing　into　the　barren；　waterless　waste　in　his　mad　thirst　for　gold。
  Sometimes　the　suspicion　comes　to　me　that　things　not　so　bad　as　they　seem：　that　perhaps　I　exaggerate　because　I　am　blind。　　It　may　be　that；　if　my　eyesight　were　unimpaired；　I　should　have　accepted　world　as　I　found　it。　This；　at　any　rate；　was　the　light　in　which　my　husband　looked　at　all　my　moods　and　fancies。
  One　day　an　old　Musalman　came　to　the　house。　　He　asked　my　husband　to　visit　his　little　grand…daughter。　　I　could　hear　the　old　man　say：　〃Baba；　I　am　a　poor　man；　but　come　with　me；　and　Allah　will　do　you　good。〃　　My　husband　answered　coldly：　〃What　Allah　will　do　won't　help　matters；　I　want　to　know　what　you　can　do　for　me。〃
  When　I　heard　it；　I　wondered　in　my　mind　why　God　had　not　made　me　deaf　as　well　as　blind。　　The　old　man　heaved　a　deep　sigh；　and　departed。　　I　sent　my　maid　to　fetch　him　to　my　room。　　I　met　him　at　the　door　of　the　inner　apartment；　and　put　some　money　into　his　hand。
  〃Please　take　this　from　me；〃　said　I；　〃for　your　little　grand…daughter；　and　get　a　trustworthy　doctor　to　look　after　her。　　And…pray　for　my　husband。〃
  But　the　whole　of　that　day　I　could　take　no　food　at　al