第 62 节
作者:
蒂帆 更新:2024-04-14 09:15 字数:9321
need be distressed on my account。 It is all my own fault; I
taught them to trample upon me。 I loved to have it so。 It is no
one's affair but mine; man's justice and God's justice have
nothing to do in it。 God would be unjust if He condemned them for
anything they may have done to me。 I did not behave to them
properly; I was stupid enough to resign my rights。 I would have
humbled myself in the dust for them。 What could you expect? The
most beautiful nature; the noblest soul; would have been spoiled
by such indulgence。 I am a wretch; I am justly punished。 I; and I
only; am to blame for all their sins; I spoiled them。 To…day they
are as eager for pleasure as they used to be for sugar…plums。
When they were little girls I indulged them in every whim。 They
had a carriage of their own when they were fifteen。 They have
never been crossed。 I am guilty; and not theybut I sinned
through love。
〃My heart would open at the sound of their voices。 I can hear
them; they are coming。 Yes! yes! they are coming。 The law demands
that they should be present at their father's deathbed; the law
is on my side。 It would only cost them the hire of a cab。 I would
pay that。 Write to them; tell them that I have millions to leave
to them! On my word of honor; yes。 I am going to manufacture
Italian paste foods at Odessa。 I understand the trade。 There are
millions to be made in it。 Nobody has thought of the scheme as
yet。 You see; there will be no waste; no damage in transit; as
there always is with wheat and flour。 Hey! hey! and starch too;
there are millions to be made in the starch trade! You will not
be telling a lie。 Millions; tell them; and even if they really
come because they covet the money; I would rather let them
deceive me; and I shall see them in any case。 I want my children!
I gave them life; they are mine; mine!〃 and he sat upright。 The
head thus raised; with its scanty white hair; seemed to Eugene
like a threat; every line that could still speak spoke of menace。
〃There; there; dear father;〃 said Eugene; 〃lie down again; I will
write to them at once。 As soon as Bianchon comes back I will go
for them myself; if they do not come before。〃
〃If they do not come?〃 repeated the old man; sobbing。 〃Why; I
shall be dead before then; I shall die in a fit of rage; of rage!
Anger is getting the better of me。 I can see my whole life at
this minute。 I have been cheated! They do not love methey have
never loved me all their lives! It is all clear to me。 They have
not come; and they will not come。 The longer they put off their
coming; the less they are likely to give me this joy。 I know
them。 They have never cared to guess my disappointments; my
sorrows; my wants; they never cared to know my life; they will
have no presentiment of my death; they do not even know the
secret of my tenderness for them。 Yes; I see it all now。 I have
laid my heart open so often; that they take everything I do for
them as a matter of course。 They might have asked me for the very
eyes out of my head and I would have bidden them to pluck them
out。 They think that all fathers are like theirs。 You should
always make your value felt。 Their own children will avenge me。
Why; for their own sakes they should come to me! Make them
understand that they are laying up retribution for their own
deathbeds。 All crimes are summed up in this one。 。 。 。 Go to
them; just tell them that if they stay away it will be parricide!
There is enough laid to their charge already without adding that
to the list。 Cry aloud as I do now; 'Nasie! Delphine! here! Come
to your father; the father who has been so kind to you is lying
ill!'Not a sound; no one comes! Then am I do die like a dog?
This is to be my rewardI am forsaken at the last。 They are
wicked; heartless women; curses on them; I loathe them。 I shall
rise at night from my grave to curse them again; for; after all;
my friends; have I done wrong? They are behaving very badly to
me; eh? 。 。 。 What am I saying? Did you not tell me just now that
Delphine is in the room? She is more tender…hearted than her
sister。 。 。 。 Eugene; you are my son; you know。 You will love
her; be a father to her! Her sister is very unhappy。 And there
are their fortunes! Ah; God! I am dying; this anguish is almost
more than I can bear! Cut off my head; leave me nothing but my
heart。〃
〃Christophe!〃 shouted Eugene; alarmed by the way in which the old
man moaned; and by his cries; 〃go for M。 Bianchon; and send a cab
here for me。I am going to fetch them; dear father; I will bring
them back to you。〃
〃Make them come! Compel them to come! Call out the Guard; the
military; anything and everything; but make them come!〃 He looked
at Eugene; and a last gleam of intelligence shone in his eyes。
〃Go to the authorities; to the Public Prosecutor; let them bring
them here; come they shall!〃
〃But you have cursed them。〃
〃Who said that!〃 said the old man in dull amazement。 〃You know
quite well that I love them; I adore them! I shall be quite well
again if I can see them。 。 。 。 Go for them; my good neighbor; my
dear boy; you are kind…hearted; I wish I could repay you for your
kindness; but I have nothing to give you now; save the blessing
of a dying man。 Ah! if I could only see Delphine; to tell her to
pay my debt to you。 If the other cannot come; bring Delphine to
me at any rate。 Tell her that unless she comes; you will not love
her any more。 She is so fond of you that she will come to me
then。 Give me something to drink! There is a fire in my bowels。
Press something against my forehead! If my daughters would lay
their hands there; I think I should get better。 。 。 。 MON DIEU!
who will recover their money for them when I am gone? 。 。 。 I
will manufacture vermicelli out in Odessa; I will go to Odessa
for their sakes。〃
〃Here is something to drink;〃 said Eugene; supporting the dying
man on his left arm; while he held a cup of tisane to Goriot's
lips。
〃How you must love your own father and mother!〃 said the old man;
and grasped the student's hand in both of his。 It was a feeble;
trembling grasp。 〃I am going to die; I shall die without seeing
my daughters; do you understand? To be always thirsting; and
never to drink; that has been my life for the last ten years。 。 。 。
I have no daughters; my sons…in…law killed them。 No; since
their marriages they have been dead to me。 Fathers should
petition the Chambers to pass a law against marriage。 If you love
your daughters; do not let them marry。 A son…in…law is a rascal
who poisons a girl's mind and contaminates her whole nature。 Let
us have no more marriages! It robs us of our daughters; we are
left alone upon our deathbeds; and they are not with us then。
They ought to pass a law for dying fathers。 This is awful! It
cries for vengeance! They cannot come; because my sons…in…law
forbid them! 。 。 。 Kill them! 。 。 。 Restaud and the Alsatian;
kill them both! They have murdered me between them! 。 。 。 Death
or my daughters! 。 。 。 Ah! it is too late; I am dying; and they
are not here! 。 。 。 Dying without them! 。 。 。 Nasie! Fifine! Why
do you not come to me? Your papa is going〃
〃Dear Father Goriot; calm yourself。 There; there; lie quietly and
rest; don't worry yourself; don't think。〃
〃I shall not see them。 Oh! the agony of it!〃
〃You SHALL see them。〃
〃Really?〃 cried the old man; still wandering。 〃Oh! shall I see
them; I shall see them and hear their voices。 I shall die happy。
Ah! well; after all; I do not wish to live; I cannot stand this
much longer; this pain that grows worse and worse。 But; oh! to
see them; to touch their dressesah! nothing but their dresses;
that is very little; still; to feel something that belongs to
them。 Let me touch their hair with my fingers 。 。 。 their
hair 。 。 。〃
His head fell back on the pillow; as if a sudden heavy blow had
struck him down; but his hands groped feebly over the quilt; as
if to find his daughters' hair。
〃My blessing on them 。 。 。〃 he said; making an effort; 〃my
blessing 。 。 。〃
His voice died away。 Just at that moment Bianchon came into the
room。
〃I met Christophe;〃 he said; 〃he is gone for your cab。〃
Then he looked at the patient; and raised the closed eyelids with
his fingers。 The two students saw how dead and lustreless the
eyes beneath had grown。
〃He will not get over this; I am sure;〃 said Bianchon。 He felt
the old man's pulse; and laid a hand over his heart。
〃The machinery works still; more is the pity; in his state it
would be better for him to die。〃
〃Ah! my word; it would!〃
〃What is the matter with you? You are as pale as death。〃
〃Dear fellow; the moans and cries that I have just heard。 。 。 。
There is a God! Ah! yes; yes; there is a God; and He has made a
better world for us; or this world of ours would be a nightmare。
I could have cried like a child; but this is too tragical; and I
am sick at heart。