第 28 节
作者:
蒂帆 更新:2024-04-14 09:15 字数:9322
Eugene felt a thrill of pleasure at the thought of appearing
before the Vicomtesse; dressed as henceforward he always meant to
be。 The 〃abysses of the human heart;〃 in the moralists' phrase;
are only insidious thoughts; involuntary promptings of personal
interest。 The instinct of enjoyment turns the scale; those rapid
changes of purpose which have furnished the text for so much
rhetoric are calculations prompted by the hope of pleasure。
Rastignac beholding himself well dressed and impeccable as to
gloves and boots; forgot his virtuous resolutions。 Youth;
moreover; when bent upon wrongdoing does not dare to behold
himself in the mirror of consciousness; mature age has seen
itself; and therein lies the whole difference between these two
phases of life。
A friendship between Eugene and his neighbor; Father Goriot; had
been growing up for several days past。 This secret friendship and
the antipathy that the student had begun to entertain for Vautrin
arose from the same psychological causes。 The bold philosopher
who shall investigate the effects of mental action upon the
physical world will doubtless find more than one proof of the
material nature of our sentiments in other animals。 What
physiognomist is as quick to discern character as a dog is to
discover from a stranger's face whether this is a friend or no?
Those by…words〃atoms;〃 〃affinities〃are facts surviving in
modern languages for the confusion of philosophic wiseacres who
amuse themselves by winnowing the chaff of language to find its
grammatical roots。 We FEEL that we are loved。 Our sentiments make
themselves felt in everything; even at a great distance。 A letter
is a living soul; and so faithful an echo of the voice that
speaks in it; that finer natures look upon a letter as one of
love's most precious treasures。 Father Goriot's affection was of
the instinctive order; a canine affection raised to a sublime
pitch; he had scented compassion in the air; and the kindly
respect and youthful sympathy in the student's heart。 This
friendship had; however; scarcely reached the stage at which
confidences are made。 Though Eugene had spoken of his wish to
meet Mme。 de Nucingen; it was not because he counted on the old
man to introduce him to her house; for he hoped that his own
audacity might stand him in good stead。 All that Father Goriot
had said as yet about his daughters had referred to the remarks
that the student had made so freely in public on that day of the
two visits。
〃How could you think that Mme。 de Restaud bore you a grudge for
mentioning my name?〃 he had said on the day following that scene
at dinner。 〃My daughters are very fond of me; I am a happy
father; but my sons…in…law have behaved badly to me; and rather
than make trouble between my darlings and their husbands; I
choose to see my daughters secretly。 Fathers who can see their
daughters at any time have no idea of all the pleasure that all
this mystery gives me; I cannot always see mine when I wish; do
you understand? So when it is fine I walk out in the Champs…
Elysees; after finding out from their waiting…maids whether my
daughters mean to go out。 I wait near the entrance; my heart
beats fast when the carriages begin to come; I admire them in
their dresses; and as they pass they give me a little smile; and
it seems as if everything was lighted up for me by a ray of
bright sunlight。 I wait; for they always go back the same way;
and then I see them again; the fresh air has done them good and
brought color into their cheeks; all about me people say; 'What a
beautiful woman that is!' and it does my heart good to hear them。
〃Are they not my own flesh and blood? I love the very horses that
draw them; I envy the little lap…dog on their knees。 Their
happiness is my life。 Every one loves after his own fashion; and
mine does no one any harm; why should people trouble their heads
about me? I am happy in my own way。 Is there any law against
going to see my girls in the evening when they are going out to a
ball? And what a disappointment it is when I get there too late;
and am told that 'Madame has gone out!' Once I waited till three
o'clock in the morning for Nasie; I had not seen her for two
whole days。 I was so pleased; that it was almost too much for me!
Please do not speak of me unless it is to say how good my
daughters are to me。 They are always wanting to heap presents
upon me; but I will not have it。 'Just keep your money;' I tell
them。 'What should I do with it? I want nothing。' And what am I;
sir; after all? An old carcase; whose soul is always where my
daughters are。 When you have seen Mme。 de Nucingen; tell me which
you like the most;〃 said the old man after a moment's pause;
while Eugene put the last touches to his toilette。 The student
was about to go out to walk in the Garden of the Tuileries until
the hour when he could venture to appear in Mme。 de Beauseant's
drawing…room。
That walk was a turning…point in Eugene's career。 Several women
noticed him; he looked so handsome; so young; and so well
dressed。 This almost admiring attention gave a new turn to his
thoughts。 He forgot his sisters and the aunt who had robbed
herself for him; he no longer remembered his own virtuous
scruples。 He had seen hovering above his head the fiend so easy
to mistake for an angel; the Devil with rainbow wings; who
scatters rubies; and aims his golden shafts at palace fronts; who
invests women with purple; and thrones with a glory that dazzles
the eyes of fools till they forget the simple origins of royal
dominion; he had heard the rustle of that Vanity whose tinsel
seems to us to be the symbol of power。 However cynical Vautrin's
words had been; they had made an impression on his mind; as the
sordid features of the old crone who whispers; 〃A lover; and gold
in torrents;〃 remain engraven on a young girl's memory。
Eugene lounged about the walks till it was nearly five o'clock;
then he went to Mme。 de Beauseant; and received one of the
terrible blows against which young hearts are defenceless。
Hitherto the Vicomtesse had received him with the kindly
urbanity; the bland grace of manner that is the result of fine
breeding; but is only complete when it comes from the heart。
Today Mme。 de Beauseant bowed constrainedly; and spoke curtly:
〃M。 de Rastignac; I cannot possibly see you; at least not at this
moment。 I am engaged 。 。 。〃
An observer; and Rastignac instantly became an observer; could
read the whole history; the character and customs of caste; in
the phrase; in the tones of her voice; in her glance and bearing。
He caught a glimpse of the iron hand beneath the velvet glove
the personality; the egoism beneath the manner; the wood beneath
the varnish。 In short; he heard that unmistakable I THE KING that
issues from the plumed canopy of the throne; and finds its last
echo under the crest of the simplest gentleman。
Eugene had trusted too implicitly to the generosity of a woman;
he could not believe in her haughtiness。 Like all the
unfortunate; he had subscribed; in all good faith; the generous
compact which should bind the benefactor to the recipient; and
the first article in that bond; between two large…hearted
natures; is a perfect equality。 The kindness which knits two
souls together is as rare; as divine; and as little understood as
the passion of love; for both love and kindness are the lavish
generosity of noble natures。 Rastignac was set upon going to the
Duchesse de Carigliano's ball; so he swallowed down this rebuff。
〃Madame;〃 he faltered out; 〃I would not have come to trouble you
about a trifling matter; be so kind as to permit me to see you
later; I can wait。〃
〃Very well; come and dine with me;〃 she said; a little confused
by the harsh way in which she had spoken; for this lady was as
genuinely kind…hearted as she was high…born。
Eugene was touched by this sudden relenting; but none the less he
said to himself as he went away; 〃Crawl in the dust; put up with
every kind of treatment。 What must the rest of the world be like
when one of the kindest of women forgets all her promises of
befriending me in a moment; and tosses me aside like an old shoe?
So it is every one for himself? It is true that her house is not
a shop; and I have put myself in the wrong by needing her help。
You should cut your way through the world like a cannon ball; as
Vautrin said。〃
But the student's bitter thoughts were soon dissipated by the
pleasure which he promised himself in this dinner with the
Vicomtesse。 Fate seemed to determine that the smallest accidents
in his life should combine to urge him into a career; which the
terrible sphinx of the Maison Vauquer had described as a field of
battle where you must either slay or be slain; and cheat to avoid
being cheated。 You leave your conscience and your heart at the
barriers; and wear a mask on entering into this game of grim
earnest; wh