第 28 节
作者:蒂帆      更新:2024-04-14 09:15      字数:9322
  Eugene felt a thrill of pleasure at the thought of appearing
  before the Vicomtesse; dressed as henceforward he always meant to
  be。 The 〃abysses of the human heart;〃 in the moralists' phrase;
  are only insidious thoughts; involuntary promptings of personal
  interest。 The instinct of enjoyment turns the scale; those rapid
  changes of purpose which have furnished the text for so much
  rhetoric are calculations prompted by the hope of pleasure。
  Rastignac beholding himself well dressed and impeccable as to
  gloves and boots; forgot his virtuous resolutions。 Youth;
  moreover; when bent upon wrongdoing does not dare to behold
  himself in the mirror of consciousness; mature age has seen
  itself; and therein lies the whole difference between these two
  phases of life。
  A friendship between Eugene and his neighbor; Father Goriot; had
  been growing up for several days past。 This secret friendship and
  the antipathy that the student had begun to entertain for Vautrin
  arose from the same psychological causes。 The bold philosopher
  who shall investigate the effects of mental action upon the
  physical world will doubtless find more than one proof of the
  material nature of our sentiments in other animals。 What
  physiognomist is as quick to discern character as a dog is to
  discover from a stranger's face whether this is a friend or no?
  Those by…words〃atoms;〃 〃affinities〃are facts surviving in
  modern languages for the confusion of philosophic wiseacres who
  amuse themselves by winnowing the chaff of language to find its
  grammatical roots。 We FEEL that we are loved。 Our sentiments make
  themselves felt in everything; even at a great distance。 A letter
  is a living soul; and so faithful an echo of the voice that
  speaks in it; that finer natures look upon a letter as one of
  love's most precious treasures。 Father Goriot's affection was of
  the instinctive order; a canine affection raised to a sublime
  pitch; he had scented compassion in the air; and the kindly
  respect and youthful sympathy in the student's heart。 This
  friendship had; however; scarcely reached the stage at which
  confidences are made。 Though Eugene had spoken of his wish to
  meet Mme。 de Nucingen; it was not because he counted on the old
  man to introduce him to her house; for he hoped that his own
  audacity might stand him in good stead。 All that Father Goriot
  had said as yet about his daughters had referred to the remarks
  that the student had made so freely in public on that day of the
  two visits。
  〃How could you think that Mme。 de Restaud bore you a grudge for
  mentioning my name?〃 he had said on the day following that scene
  at dinner。 〃My daughters are very fond of me; I am a happy
  father; but my sons…in…law have behaved badly to me; and rather
  than make trouble between my darlings and their husbands; I
  choose to see my daughters secretly。 Fathers who can see their
  daughters at any time have no idea of all the pleasure that all
  this mystery gives me; I cannot always see mine when I wish; do
  you understand? So when it is fine I walk out in the Champs…
  Elysees; after finding out from their waiting…maids whether my
  daughters mean to go out。 I wait near the entrance; my heart
  beats fast when the carriages begin to come; I admire them in
  their dresses; and as they pass they give me a little smile; and
  it seems as if everything was lighted up for me by a ray of
  bright sunlight。 I wait; for they always go back the same way;
  and then I see them again; the fresh air has done them good and
  brought color into their cheeks; all about me people say; 'What a
  beautiful woman that is!' and it does my heart good to hear them。
  〃Are they not my own flesh and blood? I love the very horses that
  draw them; I envy the little lap…dog on their knees。 Their
  happiness is my life。 Every one loves after his own fashion; and
  mine does no one any harm; why should people trouble their heads
  about me? I am happy in my own way。 Is there any law against
  going to see my girls in the evening when they are going out to a
  ball? And what a disappointment it is when I get there too late;
  and am told that 'Madame has gone out!' Once I waited till three
  o'clock in the morning for Nasie; I had not seen her for two
  whole days。 I was so pleased; that it was almost too much for me!
  Please do not speak of me unless it is to say how good my
  daughters are to me。 They are always wanting to heap presents
  upon me; but I will not have it。 'Just keep your money;' I tell
  them。 'What should I do with it? I want nothing。' And what am I;
  sir; after all? An old carcase; whose soul is always where my
  daughters are。 When you have seen Mme。 de Nucingen; tell me which
  you like the most;〃 said the old man after a moment's pause;
  while Eugene put the last touches to his toilette。 The student
  was about to go out to walk in the Garden of the Tuileries until
  the hour when he could venture to appear in Mme。 de Beauseant's
  drawing…room。
  That walk was a turning…point in Eugene's career。 Several women
  noticed him; he looked so handsome; so young; and so well
  dressed。 This almost admiring attention gave a new turn to his
  thoughts。 He forgot his sisters and the aunt who had robbed
  herself for him; he no longer remembered his own virtuous
  scruples。 He had seen hovering above his head the fiend so easy
  to mistake for an angel; the Devil with rainbow wings; who
  scatters rubies; and aims his golden shafts at palace fronts; who
  invests women with purple; and thrones with a glory that dazzles
  the eyes of fools till they forget the simple origins of royal
  dominion; he had heard the rustle of that Vanity whose tinsel
  seems to us to be the symbol of power。 However cynical Vautrin's
  words had been; they had made an impression on his mind; as the
  sordid features of the old crone who whispers; 〃A lover; and gold
  in torrents;〃 remain engraven on a young girl's memory。
  Eugene lounged about the walks till it was nearly five o'clock;
  then he went to Mme。 de Beauseant; and received one of the
  terrible blows against which young hearts are defenceless。
  Hitherto the Vicomtesse had received him with the kindly
  urbanity; the bland grace of manner that is the result of fine
  breeding; but is only complete when it comes from the heart。
  Today Mme。 de Beauseant bowed constrainedly; and spoke curtly:
  〃M。 de Rastignac; I cannot possibly see you; at least not at this
  moment。 I am engaged 。 。 。〃
  An observer; and Rastignac instantly became an observer; could
  read the whole history; the character and customs of caste; in
  the phrase; in the tones of her voice; in her glance and bearing。
  He caught a glimpse of the iron hand beneath the velvet glove
  the personality; the egoism beneath the manner; the wood beneath
  the varnish。 In short; he heard that unmistakable I THE KING that
  issues from the plumed canopy of the throne; and finds its last
  echo under the crest of the simplest gentleman。
  Eugene had trusted too implicitly to the generosity of a woman;
  he could not believe in her haughtiness。 Like all the
  unfortunate; he had subscribed; in all good faith; the generous
  compact which should bind the benefactor to the recipient; and
  the first article in that bond; between two large…hearted
  natures; is a perfect equality。 The kindness which knits two
  souls together is as rare; as divine; and as little understood as
  the passion of love; for both love and kindness are the lavish
  generosity of noble natures。 Rastignac was set upon going to the
  Duchesse de Carigliano's ball; so he swallowed down this rebuff。
  〃Madame;〃 he faltered out; 〃I would not have come to trouble you
  about a trifling matter; be so kind as to permit me to see you
  later; I can wait。〃
  〃Very well; come and dine with me;〃 she said; a little confused
  by the harsh way in which she had spoken; for this lady was as
  genuinely kind…hearted as she was high…born。
  Eugene was touched by this sudden relenting; but none the less he
  said to himself as he went away; 〃Crawl in the dust; put up with
  every kind of treatment。 What must the rest of the world be like
  when one of the kindest of women forgets all her promises of
  befriending me in a moment; and tosses me aside like an old shoe?
  So it is every one for himself? It is true that her house is not
  a shop; and I have put myself in the wrong by needing her help。
  You should cut your way through the world like a cannon ball; as
  Vautrin said。〃
  But the student's bitter thoughts were soon dissipated by the
  pleasure which he promised himself in this dinner with the
  Vicomtesse。 Fate seemed to determine that the smallest accidents
  in his life should combine to urge him into a career; which the
  terrible sphinx of the Maison Vauquer had described as a field of
  battle where you must either slay or be slain; and cheat to avoid
  being cheated。 You leave your conscience and your heart at the
  barriers; and wear a mask on entering into this game of grim
  earnest; wh