第 22 节
作者:
蒂帆 更新:2024-04-14 09:15 字数:9322
〃My Dear Child;I am sending you the money that you asked for。
Make a good use of it。 Even to save your life I could not raise
so large a sum a second time without your father's knowledge; and
there would be trouble about it。 We should be obliged to mortgage
the land。 It is impossible to judge of the merits of schemes of
which I am ignorant; but what sort of schemes can they be; that
you should fear to tell me about them? Volumes of explanation
would not have been needed; we mothers can understand at a word;
and that word would have spared me the anguish of uncertainty。 I
do not know how to hide the painful impression that your letter
has made upon me; my dear son。 What can you have felt when you
were moved to send this chill of dread through my heart? It must
have been very painful to you to write the letter that gave me so
much pain as I read it。 To what courses are you committed? You
are going to appear to be something that you are not; and your
whole life and success depends upon this? You are about to see a
society into which you cannot enter without rushing into expense
that you cannot afford; without losing precious time that is
needed for your studies。 Ah! my dear Eugene; believe your mother;
crooked ways cannot lead to great ends。 Patience and endurance
are the two qualities most needed in your position。 I am not
scolding you; I do not want any tinge of bitterness to spoil our
offering。 I am only talking like a mother whose trust in you is
as great as her foresight for you。 You know the steps that you
must take; and I; for my part; know the purity of heart; and how
good your intentions are; so I can say to you without a doubt;
'Go forward; beloved!' If I tremble; it is because I am a mother;
but my prayers and blessings will be with you at every step。 Be
very careful; dear boy。 You must have a man's prudence; for it
lies with you to shape the destinies of five others who are dear
to you; and must look to you。 Yes; our fortunes depend upon you;
and your success is ours。 We all pray to God to be with you in
all that you do。 Your aunt Marcillac has been most generous
beyond words in this matter; she saw at once how it was; even
down to your gloves。 'But I have a weakness for the eldest!' she
said gaily。 You must love your aunt very much; dear Eugene。 I
shall wait till you have succeeded before telling you all that
she has done for you; or her money would burn your fingers。 You;
who are young; do not know what it is to part with something that
is a piece of your past! But what would we not sacrifice for your
sakes? Your aunt says that I am to send you a kiss on the
forehead from her; and that kiss is to bring you luck again and
again; she says。 She would have written you herself; the dear
kind…hearted woman; but she is troubled with the gout in her
fingers just now。 Your father is very well。 The vintage of 1819
has turned out better than we expected。 Good…bye; dear boy; I
will say nothing about your sisters; because Laure is writing to
you; and I must let her have the pleasure of giving you all the
home news。 Heaven send that you may succeed! Oh! yes; dear
Eugene; you must succeed。 I have come; through you; to a
knowledge of a pain so sharp that I do not think I could endure
it a second time。 I have come to know what it is to be poor; and
to long for money for my children's sake。 There; good…bye! Do not
leave us for long without news of you; and here; at the last;
take a kiss from your mother。〃
By the time Eugene had finished the letter he was in tears。 He
thought of Father Goriot crushing his silver keepsake into a
shapeless mass before he sold it to meet his daughter's bill of
exchange。
〃Your mother has broken up her jewels for you;〃 he said to
himself; 〃your aunt shed tears over those relics of hers before
she sold them for your sake。 What right have you to heap
execrations on Anastasie? You have followed her example; you have
selfishly sacrificed others to your own future; and she
sacrifices her father to her lover; and of you two; which is the
worse?〃
He was ready to renounce his attempts; he could not bear to take
that money。 The fires of remorse burned in his heart; and gave
him intolerable pain; the generous secret remorse which men
seldom take into account when they sit in judgment upon their
fellow…men; but perhaps the angels in heaven; beholding it;
pardon the criminal whom our justice condemns。 Rastignac opened
his sister's letter; its simplicity and kindness revived his
heart。
〃Your letter came just at the right time; dear brother。 Agathe
and I had thought of so many different ways of spending our
money; that we did not know what to buy with it; and now you have
come in; and; like the servant who upset all the watches that
belonged to the King of Spain; you have restored harmony; for;
really and truly; we did not know which of all the things we
wanted we wanted most; and we were always quarreling about it;
never thinking; dear Eugene; of a way of spending our money which
would satisfy us completely。 Agathe jumped for you。 Indeed; we
have been like two mad things all day; 'to such a prodigious
degree' (as aunt would say); that mother said; with her severe
expression; 'Whatever can be the matter with you;
mesdemoiselles?' I think if we had been scolded a little; we
should have been still better pleased。 A woman ought to be very
glad to suffer for one she loves! I; however; in my inmost soul;
was doleful and cross in the midst of all my joy。 I shall make a
bad wife; I am afraid; I am too fond of spending。 I had bought
two sashes and a nice little stiletto for piercing eyelet…holes
in my stays; trifles that I really did not want; so that I have
less than that slow…coach Agathe; who is so economical; and
hoards her money like a magpie。 She had two hundred francs! And I
have only one hundred and fifty! I am nicely punished; I could
throw my sash down the well; it will be painful to me to wear it
now。 Poor dear; I have robbed you。 And Agathe was so nice about
it。 She said; 'Let us send the three hundred and fifty francs in
our two names!' But I could not help telling you everything just
as it happened。
〃Do you know how we managed to keep your commandments? We took
our glittering hoard; we went out for a walk; and when once
fairly on the highway we ran all the way to Ruffec; where we
handed over the coin; without more ado; to M。 Grimbert of the
Messageries Royales。 We came back again like swallows on the
wing。 'Don't you think that happiness has made us lighter?'
Agathe said。 We said all sorts of things; which I shall not tell
you; Monsieur le Parisien; because they were all about you。 Oh;
we love you dearly; dear brother; it was all summed up in those
few words。 As for keeping the secret; little masqueraders like us
are capable of anything (according to our aunt); even of holding
our tongues。 Our mother has been on a mysterious journey to
Angouleme; and the aunt went with her; not without solemn
councils; from which we were shut out; and M。 le Baron likewise。
They are silent as to the weighty political considerations that
prompted their mission; and conjectures are rife in the State of
Rastignac。 The Infantas are embroidering a muslin robe with open…
work sprigs for her Majesty the Queen; the work progresses in the
most profound secrecy。 There be but two more breadths to finish。
A decree has gone forth that no wall shall be built on the side
of Verteuil; but that a hedge shall be planted instead thereof。
Our subjects may sustain some disappointment of fruit and
espaliers; but strangers will enjoy a fair prospect。 Should the
heir…presumptive lack pocket…handkerchiefs; be it known unto him
that the dowager Lady of Marcillac; exploring the recesses of her
drawers and boxes (known respectively as Pompeii and
Herculaneum); having brought to light a fair piece of cambric
whereof she wotted not; the Princesses Agathe and Laure place at
their brother's disposal their thread; their needles; and hands
somewhat of the reddest。 The two young Princes; Don Henri and Don
Gabriel; retain their fatal habits of stuffing themselves with
grape…jelly; of teasing their sisters; of taking their pleasure
by going a…bird…nesting; and of cutting switches for themselves
from the osier…beds; maugre the laws of the realm。 Moreover; they
list not to learn naught; wherefore the Papal Nuncio (called of
the commonalty; M。 le Cure) threateneth them with
excommunication; since that they neglect the sacred canons of
grammatical construction for the construction of other canon;
deadly engines made of the stems of elder。
〃Farewell; dear brother; never did letter carry so many wishes
for your success; so much love fully satisfied。 You will have a
great deal to tell us when you come home! You will tell me
everything; won't you? I am the oldest。 From something the aunt
let fall; we think you must have had some succe