Whirligigs
  by　O　Henry
  THE　WORLD　AND　THE　DOOR
  A　favourite　dodge　to　get　your　story　read　by　the
  public　is　to　assert　that　it　is　true；　and　then　add　that　Truth
  is　stranger　than　Fiction。　　I　do　not　know　if　the　yarn　I
  am　anxious　for　you　to　read　is　true；　but　the　Spanish　purser
  of　the　fruit　steamer　El　Carrero　swore　to　me　by　the　shrine
  of　Santa　Guadalupe　that　he　had　the　facts　from　the　U。　S。
  vice…consul　at　La　Paz　…　a　person　who　could　not　possibly
  have　been　cognizant　of　half　of　them。
  As　for　the　adage　quoted　above；　I　take　pleasure　in　punc…
  turing　it　by　affirming　that　I　read　in　a　purely　fictional
  story　the　other　day　the　line：　〃'Be　it　so；'　said　the　police…
  man。〃　　Nothing　so　strange　has　yet　cropped　out　in　Truth。
  When　H。　Ferguson　Hedges；　millionaire　promoter；
  investor　and　man…about…New…York；　turned　his　thoughts
  upon　matters　convivial；　and　word　of　it　went　〃down　the
  line；〃　bouncers　took　a　precautionary　turn　at　the　Indian
  clubs；　waiters　put　ironstone　china　on　his　favourite　tables；
  cab　drivers　crowded　close　to　the　curbstone　in　front　of
  all…night　caf閟；　and　careful　cashiers　in　his　regular　haunts
  charged　up　a　few　bottles　to　his　account　by　way　of　preface
  and　introduction。
  As　a　money　power　a　one…millionaire　is　of　small　account
  in　a　city　where　the　man　who　cuts　your　slice　of　beef　behind
  the　free…lunch　counter　rides　to　work　in　his　own　automobile。
  But　Hedges　spent　his　money　as　lavishly；　loudly　and
  showily　as　though　he　were　only　a　clerk　squandering　a
  week's　wages。　　And；　after　all；　the　bartender　takes　no
  interest　in　your　reserve　fund。　　He　would　rather　look　you
  up　on　his　cash　register　than　in　Bradstreet。
  On　the　evening　that　the　material　allegation　of　facts
  begins；　Hedges　was　bidding　dull　care　begone　in　the　com…
  pany　of　five　or　six　good　fellows　　acquaintances　and
  friends　who　had　gathered　in　his　wake。
  Among　them　were　two　younger　men　　Ralph　Merriam；
  a　broker；　and　Wade；　his　friend。
  Two　deep…sea　cabmen　were　chartered。　　At　Columbus
  Circle　they　hove　to　long　enough　to　revile　the　statue　of　the
  great　navigator；　unpatriotically　rebuking　him　for　having
  voyaged　in　search　of　land　instead　of　liquids。　　Midnight
  overtook　the　party　marooned　in　the　rear　of　a　cheap
  caf？far　uptown。
  Hedges　was　arrogant；　overriding　and　quarrelsome。
  He　was　burly　and　tough；　iron…gray　but　vigorous；　〃good〃
  for　the　rest　of　the　night。　　There　was　a　dispute　　about
  nothing　that　matters　　and　the　five…fingered　words　were
  passed　　the　words　that　represent　the　glove　cast　into
  the　lists。　　Merriam　played　the　r鬺e　of　the　verbal
  Hotspur。
  Hedges　rose　quickly；　seized　his　chair；　swung　it　once
  and　smashed　wildly　dowp　at　Merriam's　head。　　Merriam
  dodged；　drew　a　small　revolver　and　shot　Hedges　in　the
  chest。　　The　leading　roysterer　stumbled；　fell　in　a　wry
  heap；　and　lay　still。
  Wade；　a　commuter；　had　formed　that　habit　of　prompt…
  ness。　　He　juggled　Merriam　out　a　side　door；　walked　him　to
  the　corner；　ran　him　a　block　and　caught　a　hansom。　　They
  rode　five　minutes　and　then　got　out　on　a　dark　corner
  and　dismissed　the　cab。　　Across　the　street　the　lights　of
  a　small　saloon　betrayed　its　hectic　hospitality。
  〃Go　in　the　back　room　of　that　saloon；〃　said　Wade；
  〃and　wait。　　I'll　go　find　out　what's　doing　and　let　you　know。
  You　may　take　two　drinks　while　I　am　gone　…　no　more。〃
  At　ten　minutes　to　one　o'clock　Wade　returned。
  〃Brace　up；　old　chap；〃　he　said。　　〃The　ambulance　got
  there　just　as　I　did。　　The　doctor　says　he's　dead。　　You
  may　have　one　more　drink。　　You　let　me　run　this　thing
  for　you。　　You've　got　to　skip。　　I　don't　believe　a　chair
  is　legally　a　deadly　weapon。　　You've　got　to　make　tracks；
  that's　all　there　is　to　it。〃
  Merriam　complained　of　the　cold　querulously；　and
  asked　for　another　drink。　　〃Did　you　notice　what　big
  veins　he　had　on　the　back　of　his　hands？〃　he　said。　　〃I
  never　could　stand　　I　never　could　　〃
  〃Take　one　more；〃　said　Wade；　〃and　then　come　on。
  I'll　see　you　through。〃
  Wade　kept　his　promise　so　well　that　at　eleven　o'clock
  the　next　morning　Merriam；　with　a　new　suit　case　full　of
  new　clothes　and　hair…brushes；　stepped　quietly　on　board
  a　little　500…ton　fruit　steamer　at　an　East　River　pier。　　The
  vessel　had　brought　the　season's　first　cargo　of　limes　from
  Port　Limon；　and　was　homeward　bound。　　Merriam　had　his
  bank　balance　of　2；800　in　his　pocket　in　large　bills；　and
  brief　instructions　to　pile　up　as　much　water　as　he　could
  between　himself　and　New　York。　　There　was　no　time　for
  anything　more。
  From　Port　Limon　Merriam　worked　down　the　coast
  by　schooner　and　sloop　to　Colon；　thence　across　the　isthmus
  to　Panama；　where　he　caught　a　tramp　bound　for　Callao
  and　such　intermediate　ports　as　might　tempt　the　discursive
  skipper　from　his　course。
  It　was　at　La　Paz　that　Merriam　decided　to　land　　La
  Paz　the　Beautiful；　a　little　harbourless　town　smothered
  in　a　living　green　ribbon　that　banded　the　foot　of　a　cloud…
  piercing　mountain。　　Here　the　little　steamer　stopped
  to　tread　water　while　the　captain's　dory　took　him
  ashore　that　he　might　feel　the　pulse　of　the　cocoanut
  market。　　Merriam　went　too；　with　his　suit　case；　and
  remained。
  Kalb；　the　vice…consul；　a　Gr鎐o…Armenian　citizen　of
  the　United　States；　born　in　Hessen…Darmstadt；　and　edu…
  cated　in　Cincinnati　ward　primaries；　considered　all　Ameri…
  cans　his　brothers　and　bankers。　　He　attached　himself
  to　Merriam's　elbow；　introduced　him　to　every　one　in　La
  Paz　who　wore　shoes；　borrowed　ten　dollars　and　went
  back　to　his　hammock。
  There　was　a　little　wooden　hotel　in　the　edge　of　a　banana
  grove；　facing　the　sea；　that　catered　to　the　tastes　of　the
  few　foreigners　that　had　dropped　out　of　the　world　into　the
  t；ri；qte　Peruvian　town。　　At　Kalb's　introductory：　〃Shake
  hands　with　　；〃　he　had　obediently　exchanged　manual
  salutations　with　a　German　doctor；　one　French　and　two
  Italian　merchants；　and　three　or　four　Americans　who
  were　spoken　of　as　gold　men；　rubber　men；　mahogany　men
  anything　but　men　of　living　tissue。
  After　dinner　Merriam　sat　in　a　corner　of　the　broad　front
  galeria　with　Bibb；　a　Vermonter　interested　in　hydraulic
  mining；　and　smoked　and　drank　Scotch　〃smoke。〃　The
  moonlit　sea；　spreading　infinitely　before　him；　seemed　to
  separate　him　beyond　all　apprehension　from　his　old　life。
  The　horrid　tragedy　in　which　he　had　played　such　a　disas…
  trous　part　now　began；　for　the　first　time　since　he　stole　on
  board　the　fruiter；　a　wretched　fugitive；　to　lose　its　sharper
  outlines。　　Distance　lent　assuagement　to　his　view。　　Bibb
  had　opened　the　flood…gates　of　a　stream　of　long…dammed
  discourse；　overjoyed　to　have　captured　an　audience　that
  had　not　suffered　under　a　hundred　repetitions　of　his　views
  and　theories。
  〃One　year　more；〃　said　Bibb；　〃and　I'll　go　back　to
  God's　country。　　Oh；　I　know　it's　pretty　here；　and　you
  get　dolce　far　niente　banded　to　you　in　chunks；　but　this
  country　wasn't　made　for　a　white　man　to　live　in。　　You've
  got　to　have　to　plug　through　snow　now　and　then；　and　see
  a　game　of　baseball　and　wear　a　stiff　collar　and　have　a
  policeman　cuss　you。　　Still；　La　Paz　is　a　good　sort　of　a
  pipe…dreamy　old　hole。　　And　Mrs。　Conant　is　here。　　When
  any　of　us　feels　particularly　like　jumping　into　the　sea　we
  rush　around　to　her　house　and　propose。　　It's　nicer　to　be
  rejected　by　Mrs。　Conant　than　it　is　to　be　drowned。　　And
  they　say　drowning　is　a　delightful　sensation。〃
  〃Many　like　her　here？〃　asked　Merriam。
  〃Not　anywhere；〃　said　Bibb；　with　a　comfortable　sigh。
  She's　the　only　white　woman　in　La　Paz。　　The　rest
  range　from　a　dappled　dun　to　the　colour　of　a　b…flat　piano
  key。　　She's　been　here　a　year。　　Comes　from　　well；　you
  know　how　a　woman　can　talk　　ask　'em　to　say　'string'
  and　they'll　say　'crow's　foot'　or　'cat's　cradle。'　Some…
  times　you'd　think　she　was　from　Oshkosh；　and　again　from
  Jacksonville；　Florida；　and　the　next　day　from　Cape　Cod。〃
  〃Mystery？〃　ventured　Merriam。
  〃M　　well；　she　looks　it；　but　her　talk's　translucent
  enough。　　But　that's　a　woman。　　I　suppose　if　the　Sphinx
  were　to　begin　talking　she'd　merely　say：　'Goodness　me！
  more　visitors　coming　for　dinner；　and　nothing　to　eat　but　the
  sand　which　is　here。'　But　you　won't　think　about　that　when
  you　meet　her；　Merriam。　　You'll　propose　to　her　too。〃
  To　make　a　hard　story　soft；　Merriam　did　meet　her　and
  propose　to　her。　　He　found　her　to　be　a　woman　in　black
  with　hair　the　colour　of　a　bronze　turkey's　wings；　and
  mysterious；　remembering　eyes　that　…　well；　that　looked　as
  if　she　might　have　been　a　trained　nurse　looking　on　when
  Eve　was　created。　　Her　words　and　manner；　though；　were
  translucent；　as　Bibb　had　said。　　She　spoke；　vaguely；　of
  friends　in　California　and　some　of　the　lower　parishes　in
  Louisiana。　　The　tropical　climate　and　indolent　life　suited
  her；　she　had　thought　of　buying　an　orange　grove　later　on；
  La　Paz。　all　in　all；　charmed　her。
  Merriam's　courtship　of　the　Sphinx　lasted　three　months；
  although　be　did　not　know　that　he　was　courting　her。　　He
  was　using　her　as　an　antidote　for　remorse；　until　he　found；
  t