；　neglected　by　the　domestics；　scorned　and　suspected　by　society；　and　excluded　from　all　posts　of　responsibility；　trust；　and　useful　activity。　　His　every　movement　is　jealously　watched　by　the　police　till　he　comes　of　age　and　presents　himself　for　inspection；　then　he　is　either　destroyed；　if　he　is　found　to　exceed　the　fixed　margin　of　deviation；　or　else　immured　in　a　Government　Office　as　a　clerk　of　the　seventh　class；　prevented　from　marriage；　forced　to　drudge　at　an　uninteresting　occupation　for　a　miserable　stipend；　obliged　to　live　and　board　at　the　office；　and　to　take　even　his　vacation　under　close　supervision；　what　wonder　that　human　nature；　even　in　the　best　and　purest；　is　embittered　and　perverted　by　such　surroundings！〃
  All　this　very　plausible　reasoning　does　not　convince　me；　as　it　has　not　convinced　the　wisest　of　our　Statesmen；　that　our　ancestors　erred　in　laying　it　down　as　an　axiom　of　policy　that　the　toleration　of　Irregularity　is　incompatible　with　the　safety　of　the　State。　Doubtless；　the　life　of　an　Irregular　is　hard；　but　the　interests　of　the　Greater　Number　require　that　it　shall　be　hard。　　If　a　man　with　a　triangular　front　and　a　polygonal　back　were　allowed　to　exist　and　to　propagate　a　still　more　Irregular　posterity；　what　would　become　of　the　arts　of　life？　　Are　the　houses　and　doors　and　churches　in　Flatland　to　be　altered　in　order　to　accommodate　such　monsters？　Are　our　ticket…collectors　to　be　required　to　measure　every　man's　perimeter　before　they　allow　him　to　enter　a　theatre　or　to　take　his　place　in　a　lecture　room？　　Is　an　Irregular　to　be　exempted　from　the　militia？　　And　if　not；　how　is　he　to　be　prevented　from　carrying　desolation　into　the　ranks　of　his　comrades？　　Again；　what　irresistible　temptations　to　fraudulent　impostures　must　needs　beset　such　a　creature！　　How　easy　for　him　to　enter　a　shop　with　his　polygonal　front　foremost；　and　to　order　goods　to　any　extent　from　a　confiding　tradesman！　　Let　the　advocates　of　a　falsely　called　Philanthropy　plead　as　they　may　for　the　abrogation　of　the　Irregular　Penal　Laws；　I　for　my　part　have　never　known　an　Irregular　who　was　not　also　what　Nature　evidently　intended　him　to　be　　a　hypocrite；　a　misanthropist；　and；　up　to　the　limits　of　his　power；　a　perpetrator　of　all　manner　of　mischief。
  Not　that　I　should　be　disposed　to　recommend　（at　present）　the　extreme　measures　adopted　by　some　States；　where　an　infant　whose　angle　deviates　by　half　a　degree　from　the　correct　angularity　is　summarily　destroyed　at　birth。　　Some　of　our　highest　and　ablest　men；　men　of　real　genius；　have　during　their　earliest　days　laboured　under　deviations　as　great　as；　or　even　greater　than；　forty…five　minutes：　and　the　loss　of　their　precious　lives　would　have　been　an　irreparable　injury　to　the　State。　　The　art　of　healing　also　has　achieved　some　of　its　most　glorious　triumphs　in　the　compressions；　extensions；　trepannings；　colligations；　and　other　surgical　or　diaetetic　operations　by　which　Irregularity　has　been　partly　or　wholly　cured。　Advocating　therefore　a　VIA　MEDIA；　I　would　lay　down　no　fixed　or　absolute　line　of　demarcation；　but　at　the　period　when　the　frame　is　just　beginning　to　set；　and　when　the　Medical　Board　has　reported　that　recovery　is　improbable；　I　would　suggest　that　the　Irregular　offspring　be　painlessly　and　mercifully　consumed。
  Section　8。　　Of　the　Ancient　Practice　of　Painting
  If　my　Readers　have　followed　me　with　any　attention　up　to　this　point；　they　will　not　be　surprised　to　hear　that　life　is　somewhat　dull　in　Flatland。　　I　do　not；　of　course；　mean　that　there　are　not　battles；　conspiracies；　tumults；　factions；　and　all　those　other　phenomena　which　are　supposed　to　make　History　interesting；　nor　would　I　deny　that　the　strange　mixture　of　the　problems　of　life　and　the　problems　of　Mathematics；　continually　inducing　conjecture　and　giving　the　opportunity　of　immediate　verification；　imparts　to　our　existence　a　zest　which　you　in　Spaceland　can　hardly　comprehend。　　I　speak　now　from　the　aesthetic　and　artistic　point　of　view　when　I　say　that　life　with　us　is　dull；　aesthetically　and　artistically；　very　dull　indeed。
  How　can　it　be　otherwise；　when　all　one's　prospect；　all　one's　landscapes；　historical　pieces；　portraits；　flowers；　still　life；　are　nothing　but　a　single　line；　with　no　varieties　except　degrees　of　brightness　and　obscurity？
  It　was　not　always　thus。　　Colour；　if　Tradition　speaks　the　truth；　once　for　the　space　of　half　a　dozen　centuries　or　more；　threw　a　transient　splendour　over　the　lives　of　our　ancestors　in　the　remotest　ages。　　Some　private　individual　　a　Pentagon　whose　name　is　variously　reported　　having　casually　discovered　the　constituents　of　the　simpler　colours　and　a　rudimentary　method　of　painting；　is　said　to　have　begun　decorating　first　his　house；　then　his　slaves；　then　his　Father；　his　Sons；　and　Grandsons；　lastly　himself。　　The　convenience　as　well　as　the　beauty　of　the　results　commended　themselves　to　all。　　Wherever　Chromatistes；　　for　by　that　name　the　most　trustworthy　authorities　concur　in　calling　him；　　turned　his　variegated　frame；　there　he　at　once　excited　attention；　and　attracted　respect。　　No　one　now　needed　to　〃feel〃　him；　no　one　mistook　his　front　for　his　back；　all　his　movements　were　readily　ascertained　by　his　neighbours　without　the　slightest　strain　on　their　powers　of　calculation；　no　one　jostled　him；　or　failed　to　make　way　for　him；　his　voice　was　saved　the　labour　of　that　exhausting　utterance　by　which　we　colourless　Squares　and　Pentagons　are　often　forced　to　proclaim　our　individuality　when　we　move　amid　a　crowd　of　ignorant　Isosceles。
  The　fashion　spread　like　wildfire。　　Before　a　week　was　over；　every　Square　and　Triangle　in　the　district　had　copied　the　example　of　Chromatistes；　and　only　a　few　of　the　more　conservative　Pentagons　still　held　out。　　A　month　or　two　found　even　the　Dodecagons　infected　with　the　innovation。　　A　year　had　not　elapsed　before　the　habit　had　spread　to　all　but　the　very　highest　of　the　Nobility。　Needless　to　say；　the　custom　soon　made　its　way　from　the　district　of　Chromatistes　to　surrounding　regions；　and　within　two　generations　no　one　in　all　Flatland　was　colourless　except　the　Women　and　the　Priests。
  Here　Nature　herself　appeared　to　erect　a　barrier；　and　to　plead　against　extending　the　innovation　to　these　two　classes。　Many…sidedness　was　almost　essential　as　a　pretext　for　the　Innovators。　〃Distinction　of　sides　is　intended　by　Nature　to　imply　distinction　of　colours〃　　such　was　the　sophism　which　in　those　days　flew　from　mouth　to　mouth；　converting　whole　towns　at　a　time　to　the　new　culture。　　But　manifestly　to　our　Priests　and　Women　this　adage　did　not　apply。　　The　latter　had　only　one　side；　and　therefore　　plurally　and　pedantically　speaking　　NO　SIDES。　The　former　　if　at　least　they　would　assert　their　claim　to　be　really　and　truly　Circles；　and　not　mere　high…class　Polygons　with　an　infinitely　large　number　of　infinitesimally　small　sides　　were　in　the　habit　of　boasting　（what　Women　confessed　and　deplored）　that　they　also　had　no　sides；　being　blessed　with　a　perimeter　of　one　line；　or；　in　other　words；　a　Circumference。　　Hence　it　came　to　pass　that　these　two　Classes　could　see　no　force　in　the　so…called　axiom　about　〃Distinction　of　Sides　implying　Distinction　of　Colour〃；　and　when　all　others　had　succumbed　to　the　fascinations　of　corporal　decoration；　the　Priests　and　the　Women　alone　still　remained　pure　from　the　pollution　of　paint。
  Immoral；　licentious；　anarchical；　unscientific　　call　them　by　what　names　you　will　　yet；　from　an　aesthetic　point　of　view；　those　ancient　days　of　the　Colour　Revolt　were　the　glorious　childhood　of　Art　in　Flatland　　a　childhood；　alas；　that　never　ripened　into　manhood；　nor　even　reached　the　blossom　of　youth。　　To　live　was　then　in　itself　a　delight；　because　living　implied　seeing。　　Even　at　a　small　party；　the　company　was　a　pleasure　to　behold；　the　richly　varied　hues　of　the　assembly　in　a　church　or　theatre　are　said　to　have　more　than　once　proved　too　distracting　for　our　greatest　teachers　and　actors；　but　most　ravishing　of　all　is　said　to　have　been　the　unspeakable　magnificence　of　a　military　review。
  The　sight　of　a　line　of　battle　of　twenty　thousand　Isosceles　suddenly　facing　about；　and　exchanging　the　sombre　black　of　their　bases　for　the　orange　and　purple　of　the　two　sides　including　their　acute　angle；　the　militia　of　the　Equilateral　Triangles　tricoloured　in　red；　white；　and　blue；　the　mauve；　ultra…marine；　gamboge；　and　burnt　umber　of　the　Square　artillerymen　rapidly　rotating　near　their　vermilion　guns；　the　dashing　and　flashing　of　the　five…coloured　and　six…coloured　Pentagons　and　Hexagons　careering　across　the　field　in　their　offices　of　surgeons；　geometricians　and　aides…de…camp　　all　these　may　well　have　been　sufficient　to　render　credible　the　famous　story　how　an　illustrious　Circle；　overcome　by　the　artistic　beauty　of　the　forces　under　his　command；　threw　aside　his　marshal's　baton　and　his　royal　crown；　exclaiming　that　he　henceforth　exchanged　them　for　the　artist's　pencil。　　How　great　and　glorious　the　sensuous　development　of　these　days　must　have　been　is　in　part　indicated　by　the　very　language　and　vocabulary　of　the　period。　The　commonest　utterances　of　the　commonest　citizens　in　the　time　of　the　Colour　Revolt　seem　to　have　been　suffused　with　a　richer　tinge　of　word　or　thought；　and　to　that　era　we　are　even　now　indebted　for　our　finest　poetry　and　for　whatever　rhythm　still　remains　in　the　more　scientific　utterance　of　these　modern　days。
  Section　9。　　Of　the　Universal　Colour　Bill