第 146 节
作者:
江暖 更新:2024-04-09 19:51 字数:9322
eauty。 This wild tempest teaches you that you are but a poor; pitiful insect; tossed about in the world like any other creeping thinga powerless atom。 The storm first takes possession of your clothes; now of your costly hat。 Wait; my lady; wait! one day it will take your heart; it will be crushed and broken to piecesthere will be none to pity。 The world laughs and mocks at the wretched。 Misfortune is the only disgrace which is never forgiven。 You may be a thief; a murderer; and you will be pardoned if you are adroit enough to slip your head from the noose。 Criminals are pitied and pardoned; unfortunates never。 Ah; this is a mad; gay world; and they are fools who take it earnestly; who do not laugh laugh even as I do。〃
The princess laughed aloudif that could be called a laugh; from which she shuddered back herself in terror。
〃It is bitter cold here; 〃she said; shuddering; 〃I think I shall never be warm again。 I am always freezing; and this miserable frost has turned my heart and soul to ice。 I would like to know if they will thaw in the grave?〃
She stepped slowly from the window; and crept through the large; empty room to the chimney; where a large wood…fire was burningnow flickering up in clear flames; now breaking into glowing coals。
Amelia took the poker; and amused herself by dashing the coals apart; and watching the flashing; dancing flames。 The fire seemed to embrace her whole figure; and threw a rosy shimmer over her wan and fallen cheeks。 She gazed deep down into the glowing coals; and murmured broken; disconnected words。 From time to time a mocking smile trembled on her lips; then heavy sighs wrung her breast。 Was she perhaps telling the fire of the flames which raged within her bosom? Was she perhaps a magician; who understood the language of these mysterious tongues of flame; and answered their burning questions? The hasty opening of the door aroused her from her dreams; and a page entered and announced in a loud voice〃His majesty the king!〃
Amelia bowed her head; and advanced slowly and with a stern countenance to meet the king; who now appeared at the threshold。
〃May I enter; my sister; or do you command me to withdraw?〃 said Frederick; smiling。
〃The king has no permission to ask;〃 said Amelia; earnestly; 〃he is everywhere lord and master。 The doors of all other prisons open before him; and so also do mine。〃
Frederick nodded to the page to leave the room and close the door; then advanced eagerly to meet his sister。 Giving her his hands he led her to the divan; and seated himself beside her。
〃You regard me then as a kind of jailer?〃 he said; in a gentle; loving voice。
〃Can a king be any thing but a jailer?〃 she said; roughly。 〃Those who displease him; he arrests and casts into prison; and not one of his subjects can be sure that he will not one day displease him。〃
〃You; at least; my sister; have not this to fear; and yet you have just called this your prison。〃
〃It is a prison; sire。〃
〃And am I; then; your jailer?〃
〃No; sire; life is my jailer。〃
〃You are right; there; Amelia。 Life is the universal jailer; from whom death alone can release us。 The world is a great prison; and only fools think themselves free。 But we are involuntarily commencing an earnest; philosophical conversation。 I come to you to rest; to refresh myself; to converse harmlessly and cheerfully; as in our earlier and happier days。 Tell me something; dear sister; of your life; your occupations; and your friends?〃
〃That is easily done; and requires but few words;〃 said Amelia; hoarsely。 〃Of my life I have already told you all that can be said。 Life is my jailer; and I look longingly to death; who alone can release me。 As to my well…being; there is nothing to say; all is evil; only evil continually。 My occupations are monotonous; I am ever asleep。 Night and day I sleep and dream; and why should I awake? I have nothing to hope; nothing to do。 I am a superfluous piece of furniture in this castle; and I know well you will all rejoice when I am placed in the vault。 I am an old maid; or; if you prefer it; I am a wall…frog; who has nothing to do but creep into my hole; and; when I have vitality enough; to spit my venom upon the passers…by。 As to my friends; I have nothing to relate; I have no friends! I hate all mankind; and I am hated by all。 I am especially on my guard with those who pretend to love me; I know that they are deceitful and traitorous; that they are only actuated by selfish motives。〃
〃Poor sister;〃 said the king; sadly; 〃how unhappy must you be to speak thus! Can I do nothing to alleviate your misfortune?〃
Amelia laughed loudly and scornfully。 〃Forgive me; your majesty; but your question reminds me of a merry fairy tale I have just read of a cannibal who is in the act of devouring a young girl。 The poor child pleaded piteously for her life; naturally in vain。 'I cannot; of course; give you your life;' said the cannibal; 'but I will gladly grant you any other wish of your heart。 Think; then; quickly; of what you most desire; and be assured I will fulfil your request。' The pretty maiden; trembling with horror and despair; could not collect her thoughts。 Then; after a short pause; the cannibal said; 'I cannot wait; I am hungry! but in order to grant you a little longer time to determine upon the favor you will ask; I will not; as I am accustomed to do; devour the head first; I will commence with the feet。' So saying; he cut off the legs and ate them; and on cutting off each limb he graciously asked the poor shuddering; whimpering being; 'Well; why do you not think? Is there; then; no favor I can show you?' Confess now; sire; that this was a most magnanimous cannibal。〃
Frederick laughed heartily; and appeared not to understand his sister's double meaning。
〃You are right;〃 said he; 〃that is a merry fairy tale; and brings the tears to my eyesI scarcely know whether from laughter or weeping。 Where did you read it; my sister?〃
〃The fire…spirits who spring up and down in the chimney so lustily; related it to me。 Oh; sire; these are merry sprites; and often in my solitude; when I am sitting in my arm…chair in the chimney…corner; they nod to me; and chat freely of by…gone times; and the days which are to come。〃
〃I fear they have not much that is cheerful or encouraging; certainly not much that is interesting to tell you;〃 said Frederick。
〃To those who; like us; have passed the meridian of life; and are going rapidly down…hill; the surroundings become ever duller and more drear; for us there are no more great and agreeable surprises; the farther they advance; the more lonely and desolate it appears; life has no more to offer; and they are glad at last to reach the valley and lie down in quiet graves。 But while we live and are still wanderers; Amelia; we must not fold our hands in idleness; we must work and achieve。 You also; my sister; must be active and energetic; an unusual opportunity is now offered you。 The Abbess of Quedlinberg is dead; and you can now enter upon her duties。〃
〃And your majesty thinks it is really a worthy vocation for me to go to Quedlinberg and become the shepherdess of that fearful flock of old maids who took refuge in a nunnery because no man desired them? No; your majesty; do not send me to Quedlinberg; it is not my calling to build up the worthy nuns into saints of the Most High。 I am too unsanctifled myself to be an example to them; and; in fact; I feel no inclination to purify them from their sins。〃
〃Well; that might be found a difficult task;〃 said the king; laughing; 〃and it would not make you beloved。 Men love nothing so much as their vices; and they hate those who would free them from their cherished yoke。 You can; however; remain in Berlin and still accept this office; once so worthily rilled by the lovely Aurora of Konigsmark。 King Augustus gave her; at least; with this refuge; provided by his love; a rich widow's income; and you can now; Amelia; enjoy the fruit of that love which at one time filled all Europe with admiration。 The salary of the abbess amounts to seventeen thousand thalers; and I think this addition to your fortune will be welcome。 Your income will now be forty thousand thalers。〃
〃Lodging and fuel included;〃 said Amelia; with a sarcastic laugh。 〃Look you; sire; I see that I have nothing to complain of。 My hospital is splendidly endowed; and if I should ever become miserly; I may be able to lay aside a few thalers yearly。〃
〃I will gladly put it in your power to lay aside a larger sum; if you become covetous;〃 said the king; 〃and I beg you; therefore; to allow me the pleasure of raising your salary as princess; six thousand thalers。〃 'Footnote: History of Berlin and Court。'
Amelia looked at him distrustfully。 〃You are very gracious to me to… day; my brother。 You grant favors before I ask them。 I confess to you this alarms and agitates me。 You have perhaps some bad news to disclose; and fearing I will be crushed by it; you desire; beforehand; to apply a balsam。〃
The king's glance was tender and sympathetic。 〃Poor Amelia! you will; then; never believe in my affection;〃 said he; mildly。 〃You distrust even your brother! Oh; Amelia! life has hardened us both。 We entered upon the stage of life with great but fleeting illusions。 How gloriou