You　see　that　two　sides　of　the　fort　of　Futtyghur　（rising　as　it　does
  on　a　rock　that　is　almost　perpendicular）　are　defended　by　the
  Burrumpooter　river；　two　hundred　feet　deep　at　this　point；　and　a
  thousand　yards　wide；　so　that　I　had　no　fear　about　them　attacking　me
  in　THAT　quarter。　　My　guns；　therefore　（with　their　six…and…thirty
  miserable　charges　of　shot）　were　dragged　round　to　the　point　at　which
  I　conceived　Holkar　would　be　most　likely　to　attack　me。　　I　was　in　a
  situation　that　I　did　not　dare　to　fire；　except　at　such　times　as　I
  could　kill　a　hundred　men　by　a　single　discharge　of　a　cannon；　so　the
  attacking　party　marched　and　marched；　very　strongly；　about　a　mile
  and　a　half　off；　the　elephants　marching　without　receiving　the
  slightest　damage　from　us；　until　they　had　come　to　within　four
  hundred　yards　of　our　walls　（the　rogues　knew　all　the　secrets　of　our
  weakness；　through　the　betrayal　of　the　dastardly　Ghorumsaug；　or　they
  never　would　have　ventured　so　near）。　　At　that　distanceit　was　about
  the　spot　where　the　Futtyghur　hill　began　gradually　to　risethe
  invading　force　stopped；　the　elephants　drew　up　in　a　line；　at　right
  angles　with　our　wall　（the　fools！　they　thought　they　should　expose
  themselves　too　much　by　taking　a　position　parallel　to　it）；　the
  cavalry　halted　too；　andafter　the　deuce's　own　flourish　of　trumpets
  and　banging　of　gongs；　to　be　sure；somebody；　in　a　flame…colored
  satin…dress；　with　an　immense　jewel　blazing　in　his　pugree　（that
  looked　through　my　telescope　like　a　small　but　very　bright　planet）；
  got　up　from　the　back　of　one　of　the　very　biggest　elephants；　and
  began　a　speech。
  The　elephants　were；　as　I　said；　in　a　line　formed　with　admirable
  precision；　about　three　hundred　of　them。　　The　following　little
  diagram　will　explain　matters：
  __G
  ｜
  。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　　　　　　　｜
  E　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　｜
  ｜
  ｜
  ｜　F
  E　is　the　line　of　elephants。　　F　is　the　wall　of　the　fort。　　G　a　gun　in
  the　fort。　　NOW　the　reader　will　see　what　I　did。
  The　elephants　were　standing；　their　trunks　waggling　to　and　fro
  gracefully　before　them；　and　I；　with　superhuman　skill　and　activity；
  brought　the　gun　G　（a　devilish　long　brass　gun）　to　bear　upon　them。　　I
  pointed　it　myself；　bang！　it　went；　and　what　was　the　consequence？
  Why；　this：
  X
  ____________________　　　　　　　｜__G
  。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　　　　　　　｜
  E　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　｜
  ｜
  ｜
  ｜　F
  F　is　the　fort；　as　before。　　G　is　the　gun；　as　before。　　E；　the
  elephants；　as　we　have　previously　seen　them。　　What　then　is　X？　　X　IS
  THE　LINE　TAKEN　BY　THE　BALL　FIRED　FROM　G；　which　took　off　ONE　HUNDRED
  AND　THIRTY…FOUR　elephants'　trunks；　and　only　spent　itself　in　the
  tusk　of　a　very　old　animal；　that　stood　the　hundred　and　thirty…fifth。
  I　say　that　such　a　shot　was　never　fired　before　or　since；　that　a　gun
  was　never　pointed　in　such　a　way。　　Suppose　I　had　been　a　common　man；
  and　contented　myself　with　firing　bang　at　the　head　of　the　first
  animal？　　An　ass　would　have　done　it；　prided　himself　had　he　hit　his
  mark；　and　what　would　have　been　the　consequence？　　Why；　that　the　ball
  might　have　killed　two　elephants　and　wounded　a　third；　but　here；
  probably；　it　would　have　stopped；　and　done　no　further　mischief。　　The
  TRUNK　was　the　place　at　which　to　aim；　there　are　no　bones　there；　and
  away；　consequently；　went　the　bullet；　shearing；　as　I　have　said；
  through　one　hundred　and　thirty…five　probosces。　　Heavens！　what　a
  howl　there　was　when　the　shot　took　effect！　　What　a　sudden　stoppage
  of　Holkar's　speech！　　What　a　hideous　snorting　of　elephants！　　What　a
  rush　backwards　was　made　by　the　whole　army；　as　if　some　demon　was
  pursuing　them！
  Away　they　went。　　No　sooner　did　I　see　them　in　full　retreat；　than；
  rushing　forward　myself；　I　shouted　to　my　men；　〃My　friends；　yonder
  lies　your　dinner！〃　　We　flung　open　the　gateswe　tore　down　to　the
  spot　where　the　elephants　had　fallen：　seven　of　them　were　killed；　and
  of　those　that　escaped　to　die　of　their　hideous　wounds　elsewhere；
  most　had　left　their　trunks　behind　them。　　A　great　quantity　of　them
  we　seized；　and　I　myself；　cutting　up　with　my　scimitar　a　couple　of
  the　fallen　animals；　as　a　butcher　would　a　calf；　motioned　to　the　men
  to　take　the　pieces　back　to　the　fort；　where　barbacued　elephant　was
  served　round　for　dinner；　instead　of　the　miserable　allowance　of　an
  olive　and　a　glass　of　wine；　which　I　had　promised　to　my　female
  friends；　in　my　speech　to　them。　　The　animal　reserved　for　the　ladies
  was　a　young　white　onethe　fattest　and　tenderest　I　ever　ate；　in　my
  life：　they　are　very　fair　eating；　but　the　flesh　has　an　India…rubber
  flavor；　which；　until　one　is　accustomed　to　it；　is　unpalatable。
  It　was　well　that　I　had　obtained　this　supply；　for；　during　my　absence
  on　the　works；　Mrs。　Vandegobbleschroy　and　one　or　two　others　had
  forced　their　way　into　the　supper…room；　and　devoured　every　morsel　of
  the　garrison　larder；　with　the　exception　of　the　cheeses；　the　olives；
  and　the　wine；　which　were　locked　up　in　my　own　apartment；　before
  which　stood　a　sentinel。　　Disgusting　Mrs。　Van！　　When　I　heard　of　her
  gluttony；　I　had　almost　a　mind　to　eat　HER。　　However；　we　made　a　very
  comfortable　dinner　off　the　barbacued　steaks；　and　when　everybody　had
  done；　had　the　comfort　of　knowing　that　there　was　enough　for　one　meal
  more。
  The　next　day；　as　I　expected；　the　enemy　attacked　us　in　great　force；
  attempting　to　escalade　the　fort；　but　by　the　help　of　my　guns；　and　my
  good　sword；　by　the　distinguished　bravery　of　Lieutenant　Macgillicuddy
  and　the　rest　of　the　garrison；　we　beat　this　attack　off　completely；
  the　enemy　sustaining　a　loss　of　seven　hundred　men。　　We　were
  victorious；　but　when　another　attack　was　made；　what　were　we　to　do？
  We　had　still　a　little　powder　left；　but　had　fired　off　all　the　shot；
  stones；　iron…bars；　&c。　in　the　garrison！　　On　this　day；　too；　we
  devoured　the　last　morsel　of　our　food：　I　shall　never　forget　Mrs。
  Vandegobbleschroy's　despairing　look；　as　I　saw　her　sitting　alone；
  attempting　to　make　some　impression　on　the　little　white　elephant's
  roasted　tail。
  The　third　day　the　attack　was　repeated。　　The　resources　of　genius　are
  never　at　an　end。　　Yesterday　I　had　no　ammunition；　to…day；　I
  discovered　charges　sufficient　for　two　guns；　and　two　swivels；　which
  were　much　longer；　but　had　bores　of　about　blunderbuss　size。
  This　time　my　friend　Loll　Mahommed；　who　had　received；　as　the　reader
  may　remember；　such　a　bastinadoing　for　my　sake；　headed　the　attack。
  The　poor　wretch　could　not　walk；　but　he　was　carried　in　an　open
  palanquin；　and　came　on　waving　his　sword；　and　cursing　horribly　in
  his　Hindustan　jargon。　　Behind　him　came　troops　of　matchlock…men；　who
  picked　off　every　one　of　our　men　who　showed　their　noses　above　the
  ramparts：　and　a　great　host　of　blackamoors　with　scaling…ladders；
  bundles　to　fill　the　ditch；　fascines；　gabions；　culverins；　demilunes；
  counterscarps；　and　all　the　other　appurtenances　of　offensive　war。
  On　they　came：　my　guns　and　men　were　ready　for　them。　　You　will　ask
  how　my　pieces　were　loaded？　　I　answer；　that　though　my　garrison　were
  without　food；　I　knew　my　duty　as　an　officer；　and　had　put　the　two
  Dutch　cheeses　into　the　two　guns；　and　had　crammed　the　contents　of　a
  bottle　of　olives　into　each　swivel。
  They　advanced；whish！　went　one　of　the　Dutch　cheeses；bang！　went
  the　other。　　Alas！　they　did　little　execution。　　In　their　first
  contact　with　an　opposing　body；　they　certainly　floored　it　but　they
  became　at　once　like　so　much　Welsh…rabbit；　and　did　no　execution
  beyond　the　man　whom　they　struck　down。
  〃Hogree；　pogree；　wongree…fum　（praise　to　Allah　and　the　forty…nine
  Imaums！）〃　shouted　out　the　ferocious　Loll　Mahommed　when　he　saw　the
  failure　of　my　shot。　　〃Onward；　sons　of　the　Prophet！　the　infidel　has
  no　more　ammunition。　　A　hundred　thousand　lakhs　of　rupees　to　the　man
  who　brings　me　Gahagan's　head！〃
  His　men　set　up　a　shout；　and　rushed　forwardhe；　to　do　him　justice；
  was　at　the　very　head；　urging　on　his　own　palanquin…bearers；　and
  poking　them　with　the　tip　of　his　scimitar。　　They　came　panting　up　the
  hill：　I　was　black　with　rage；　but　it　was　the　cold；　concentrated　rage
  of　despair。　　〃Macgillicuddy；〃　said　I；　calling　that　faithful
  officer；　〃you　know　where　the　barrels　of　powder　are？〃　　He　did。　　〃You
  know　the　use　to　make　of　them？〃　　He　did。　　He　grasped　my　hand。
  〃Goliah；〃　said　he；　〃farewell！　　I　swear　that　the　fort　shall　be　in
  atoms；　as　soon　as　yonder　unbelievers　have　carried　it。　　Oh；　my　poor
  mother！〃　added　the　gallant　youth；　as　sighing；　yet　fearless；　he
  retired　to　his　post。
  I　gave　one　thought　to　my　blessed；　my　beautiful　Belinda；　and　then；
  stepping　into　the　front；　took　down　one　of　the　swivels；a　shower　of
  matchlock　balls　came　whizzing　round　my　head。　　I　did　not　heed　them。
  I　took　the　swivel；　and　aimed　coolly。　　Loll　Mahommed；　his　palanquin；
  and　his　men；　were