This　is　more　than　Peal　can　say；　to　whomb　I　applied　for　a　barnetcy；
  but　the　primmier　being　of　low　igstraction；　natrally　stickles　for
  his　horder。　　Consurvative　though　I　be；　I　MAY　CHANGE　MY　OPINIONS
  before　the　next　Election；　when　I　intend　to　hoffer　myself　as　a
  Candydick　for　Parlymint。
  〃Meanwhile；　I　have　the　honor　to　be；　Sir；
  〃Your　most　obeajnt　Survnt；
  〃FITZ…JAMES　DE　LA　PLUCHE。〃
  THE　DIARY。
  One　day　in　the　panic　week；　our　friend　Jeames　called　at　our　office；
  evidently　in　great　perturbation　of　mind　and　disorder　of　dress。　　He
  had　no　flower　in　his　button…hole；　his　yellow　kid　gloves　were
  certainly　two　days　old。　　He　had　not　above　three　of　the　ten　chains
  he　usually　sports；　and　his　great　coarse　knotty…knuckled　old　hands
  were　deprived　of　some　dozen　of　the　rubies；　emeralds；　and　other
  cameos　with　which；　since　his　elevation　to　fortune；　the　poor　fellow
  has　thought　fit　to　adorn　himself。
  〃How's　scrip；　Mr。　Jeames？〃　said　we　pleasantly；　greeting　our
  esteemed　contributor。
  〃Scrip　be　；〃　replied　he；　with　an　expression　we　cannot　repeat；
  and　a　look　of　agony　it　is　impossible　to　describe　in　print；　and
  walked　about　the　parlor　whistling；　humming；　rattling　his　keys　and
  coppers；　and　showing　other　signs　of　agitation。　　At　last；　〃MR。
  PUNCH；〃　says　he；　after　a　moment's　hesitation；　〃I　wish　to　speak　to
  you　on　a　pint　of　businiss。　　I　wish　to　be　paid　for　my　contribewtions
  to　your　paper。　　Suckmstances　is　altered　with　me。　　IIin　a　word；
  CAN　you　lend　me　L。　for　the　account？〃
  He　named　the　sum。　　It　was　one　so　great　that　we　don't　care　to
  mention　it　here；　but　on　receiving　a　cheque　for　the　amount　（on
  Messrs。　Pump　and　Aldgate；　our　bankers；）　tears　came　into　the　honest
  fellow's　eyes。　　He　squeezed　our　hand　until　he　nearly　wrung　it　off；
  and　shouting　to　a　cab；　he　plunged　into　it　at　our　office…door；　and
  was　off　to　the　City。
  Returning　to　our　study；　we　found　he　had　left　on　our　table　an　open
  pocket…book；　of　the　contents　of　which　（for　the　sake　of　safety）　we
  took　an　inventory。　　It　containedthree　tavern…bills；　paid；　a
  tailor's　ditto；　unsettled；　forty…nine　allotments　in　different
  companies；　twenty…six　thousand　seven　hundred　shares　in　all；　of
  which　the　market　value　we　take；　on　an　average；　to　be　1/4　discount；
  and　in　an　old　bit　of　paper　tied　with　pink　ribbon　a　lock　of　chestnut
  hair；　with　the　initials　M。　A。　H。
  In　the　diary　of　the　pocket…book　was　a　journal；　jotted　down　by　the
  proprietor　from　time　to　time。　　At　first　the　entries　are
  insignificant：　as；　for　instance：〃3rd　JanuaryOur　beer　in　the
  Suvnts'　hall　so　PRECIOUS　small　at　this　Christmas　time　that　I　reely
  MUSS　give　warning；　&　wood；　but　for　my　dear　Mary　Hann。〃　　February　7
  That　broot　Screw；　the　Butler；　wanted　to　kis　her；　but　my　dear　Mary
  Hann　boxt　his　hold　hears；　&　served　him　right。　　I　DATEST　Screw；〃
  and　so　forth。　　Then　the　diary　relates　to　Stock　Exchange　operations；
  until　we　come　to　the　time　when；　having　achieved　his　successes；　Mr。
  James　quitted　Berkeley　Square　and　his　livery；　and　began　his　life　as
  a　speculator　and　a　gentleman　upon　town。　　It　is　from　the　latter　part
  of　his　diary　that　we　make　the　following
  EXTRAX：
  〃Wen　I　anounced　in　the　Servnts　All　my　axeshn　of　forting；　and　that
  by　the　exasize　of　my　own　talince　and　ingianiuty　I　had　reerlized　a
  summ　of　20；000　lb。　（it　was　only　5；　but　what's　the　use　of　a　mann
  depreshiating　the　qualaty　of　his　own　mackyrel？）wen　I　enounced　my
  abrup　intention　to　cutyou　should　have　sean　the　sensation　among
  hall　the　people！　　Cook　wanted　to　know　whether　I　woodn　like　a
  sweatbred；　or　the　slise　of　the　breast　of　a　Cold　Tucky。　　Screw；　the
  butler；　（womb　I　always　detested　as　a　hinsalant　hoverbaring　beest；）
  begged　me　to　walk　into　the　Hupper　Servnts　All；　and　try　a　glass　of
  Shuperior　Shatto　Margo。　　Heven　Visp；　the　coachmin；　eld　out　his　and；
  &　said；　'Jeames；　I　hopes　theres　no　quarraling　betwigst　you　&　me；　&
  I'll　stand　a　pot　of　beer　with　pleasure。'
  〃The　sickofnts！that　wery　Cook　had　split　on　me　to　the　Housekeeper
  ony　last　week　（catchin　me　priggin　some　cold　tuttle　soop；　of　which
  I'm　remarkable　fond）。　　Has　for　the　butler；　I　always　EBOMMINATED　him
  for　his　precious　snears　and　imperence　to　all　us　Gents　who　woar
  livry　（he　never　would　sit　in　our　parlor；　fasooth；　nor　drink　out　of
  our　mugs）；　and　in　regard　of　Vispwhy；　it　was　ony　the　day　before
  the　wulgar　beest　hoffered　to　fite　me；　and　thretnd　to　give　me　a　good
  iding　if　I　refused。　　Gentlemen　and　ladies；'　says　I；　as　haughty　as
  may　be；　'there's　nothink　that　I　want　for　that　I　can't　go　for　to　buy
  with　my　hown　money；　and　take　at　my　lodgins　in　Halbany；　letter　Hex；
  if　I'm　ungry　I've　no　need　to　refresh　myself　in　the　KITCHING。'　　And
  so　saying；　I　took　a　dignified　ajew　of　these　minnial　domestics；　and
  ascending　to　my　epartment　in　the　4　pair　back；　brushed　the　powder
  out　of　my　air；　and　taking　off　those　hojous　livries　for　hever；　put
  on　a　new　soot；　made　for　me　by　Cullin　of　St。　Jeames　Street；　and
  which　fitted　my　manly　figger　as　tight　as　whacks。
  〃There　was　ONE　pusson　in　the　house　with　womb　I　was　rayther　anxious
  to　evoid　a　persnal　leave…takingMary　Hann　Oggins；　I　meanfor　my
  art　is　natural　tender；　and　I　can't　abide　seeing　a　pore　gal　in　pane。
  I'd　given　her　previous　the　infamation　of　my　departuredoing　the
  ansom　thing　by　her　at　the　same　timepaying　her　back　20　lb。；　which
  she'd　lent　me　6　months　before：　and　paying　her　back　not　only　the
  interest；　but　I　gave　her　an　andsome　pair　of　scissars　and　a　silver
  thimbil；　by　way　of　boanus。　　'Mary　Hann；'　says　I；　'suckimstancies
  has　haltered　our　rellatif　positions　in　life。　　I　quit　the　Servnts
  Hall　for　ever；　（for　has　for　your　marrying　a　person　in　my　rank；
  that；　my　dear；　is　hall　gammin；）　and　so　I　wish　you　a　good…by；　my
  good　gal；　and　if　you　want　to　better　yourself；　halways　refer　to　me。'
  〃Mary　Hann　didn't　hanser　my　speech　（which　I　think　was　remarkable
  kind）；　but　looked　at　me　in　the　face　quite　wild　like；　and　bust　into
  somethink　betwigst　a　laugh　&　a　cry；　and　fell　down　with　her　ed　on
  the　kitching　dresser；　where　she　lay　until　her　young　Missis　rang　the
  dressing…room　bell。　　Would　you　bleave　it？　　She　left　the　thimbil　&
  things；　&　my　check　for　20lb。　l0s。；　on　the　tabil　when　she　went　to
  hanser　the　bell。　　And　now　I　heard　her　sobbing　and　vimpering　in　her
  own　room　nex　but　one　to　mine；　vith　the　dore　open；　peraps　expecting
  I　should　come　in　and　say　good…by。　　But；　as　soon　as　I　was　dressed；　I
  cut　down　stairs；　hony　desiring　Frederick　my　fellow…servnt；　to　fetch
  me　a　cabb；　and　requesting　permission　to　take　leaf　of　my　lady　&　the
  famly　before　my　departure。〃
  。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。
  〃How　Miss　Hemly　did　hogle　me　to　be　sure！　　Her　ladyship　told　me　what
  a　sweet　gal　she　washamiable；　fond　of　poetry；　plays　the　gitter。
  Then　she　hasked　me　if　I　liked　blond　bewties　and　haubin　hair。
  Haubin；　indeed！　　I　don't　like　carrits！　as　it　must　be　confest　Miss
  Hemly's　hisand　has　for　a　BLOND　BUTY；　she　has　pink　I's　like　a
  Halbino；　and　her　face　looks　as　if　it　were　dipt　in　a　brann　mash。
  How　she　squeeged　my　&　as　she　went　away！
  〃Mary　Hann　now　HAS　haubin　air；　and　a　cumplexion　like　roses　and
  hivory；　and　I's　as　blew　as　Evin。
  〃I　gev　Frederick　two　and　six　for　fetchin　the　cabbbeen　resolved　to
  hact　the　gentleman　in　hall　things。　　How　he　stared！〃
  〃25th。I　am　now　director　of　forty…seven　hadvantageous　lines；　and
  have　past　hall　day　in　the　Citty。　　Although　I've　hate　or　nine　new
  soots　of　close；　and　Mr。　Cullin　fits　me　heligant；　yet　I　fansy　they
  hall　reckonise　me。　　Conshns　whispers　to　me；　'Jeams；　you'r　hony　a
  footman　in　disguise　hafter　all。'〃
  〃28th。Been　to　the　Hopra。　　Music　tol　lol。　　That　Lablash　is　a
  wopper　at　singing。　　I　coodn　make　out　why　some　people　called　out
  'Bravo；'　some　'Bravar；'　and　some　'Bravee。'　　'Bravee；　Lablash；'　says
  I；　at　which　heverybody　laft。
  〃I'm　in　my　new　stall。　　I've　had　new　cushings　put　in；　and　my　harms
  in　goold　on　the　back。　　I'm　dressed　hall　in　black；　excep　a　gold
  waistcoat　and　dimind　studds　in　the　embriderd　busom　of　my　shameese。
  I　wear　a　Camallia　Jiponiky　in　my　button…ole；　and　have　a　double…
  barreld　opera…glas；　so　big；　that　I　make　Timmins；　my　secnd　man；
  bring　it　in　the　other　cabb。
  〃What　an　igstronry　exabishn　that　Pawdy　Carter　is！　　If　those　four
  gals　are　faries；　Tellioni　is　sutnly　the　fairy　Queend。　　She　can　do
  all　that　they　can　do；　and　somethink　they　can't。　　There's　an
  indiscrible　grace　about　her；　and　Carlotty；　my　sweet　Carlotty；　she
  sets　my　art　in　flams。
  〃Ow　that　Miss　Hemly　was　noddin　and　winkin　at　me　out　of　their　box　on
  the　fourth　tear？
  〃What　linx　i's　she　must　av。　　As　if　I　could　mount　up　there！
  〃P。S。Talking　of　MOUNTING　HUP！　the　St。　Helena's　walked　up　4　per
  cent　this　very　day。〃
  〃2nd　July。Rode　my　bay　oss　Desperation　in　the　park。　　There　was　me；
  Lord　George　Ringwood　（Lord　Cinqbar's　son）；　Lord　Ballybunnion；
  Honorable　Capting　Trap；　&　sevral　hother　young　swells。　　Sir　John's
  carridge　there　in　coarse。　　Miss　Hemly　lets　fall　her　booky　as　I
  pass；　and　I'm　obleged　to　get