第 161 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9227
  down at the book on the table; without seeing any of the letters。 He
  was   trembling  like   a  gold…seeker  who  sees   the   strong   promise   of
  gold     but   sees    in   the   same     moment       a   sickening      vision    of
  disappointment。 He could not  trust  his   mother’s   insight;   she   had
  seen     what     she   wished     to   see。   And     yet—and      yet;   now     the
  suggestion       had   been    made     to  him;    he   remembered        so   many
  things;    very   slight   things;   like   the  stirring   of  the   water    by   an
  imperceptible breeze; which seemed to him some confirmation of
  his mother’s words。
  Lisbeth  noticed   that  he   was moved。   She   went  on;   “An’   thee   ’t
  find out as thee ’t poorly aff when she’s gone。 Thee ’t fonder on her
  nor thee know’st。 Thy eyes follow her about; welly as Gyp’s follow
  thee。”
  Adam could sit still no longer。 He rose; took down his hat; and
  went out into the fields。
  The sunshine was on them: that early autumn sunshine which
  we   should   know   was   not   summer’s;   even   if   there   were   not   the
  touches of yellow on the lime and chestnut; the Sunday sunshine
  too;   which     has   more    than   autumnal      calmness     for   the  working
  man; the morning sunshine; which still leaves the dew…crystals on
  the fine gossamer webs in the shadow of the bushy hedgerows。
  Adam needed the calm influence; he was amazed at the way in
  which   this   new   thought   of   Dinah’s   love   had   taken   possession   of
  him;   with   an   overmastering   power   that   made   all   other   feelings
  give   way   before   the   impetuous   desire   to   know   that   the   thought
  was true。 Strange; that till that moment the possibility of their ever
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      660
  being   lovers     had   never   crossed     his   mind;   and   yet   now;   all  his
  longing   suddenly   went   out   towards   that   possibility。         He   had    no
  more doubt or hesitation as to his own wishes than the   bird   that
  flies towards the opening through which the daylight gleams and
  the breath of heaven enters。
  The     autumnal      Sunday      sunshine     soothed     him;    but    not   by
  preparing       him    with   resignation      to  the   disappointment        if  his
  mother—if       he   himself—proved         to  be  mistaken      about    Dinah。    It
  soothed him by gentle encouragement of his hopes。 Her love was
  so like that calm sunshine that they seemed to make one presence
  to   him;   and   he   believed   in   them   both   alike。   And   Dinah   was   so
  bound up with the   sad  memories   of  his   first  passion   that  he   was
  not  forsaking  them; but  rather  giving   them   a   new   sacredness   by
  loving her。 Nay; his love for her had grown out of that past: it was
  the noon of that morning。
  But  Seth?  Would   the   lad be   hurt?  Hardly;   for  he   had   seemed
  quite contented of late; and there was   no selfish  jealousy  in   him;
  he had never been jealous of his mother’s fondness for Adam。 But
  had  he   seen   anything   of   what   their   mother   talked   about?   Adam
  longed      to  know     this;   for   he   thought     he   could     trust   Seth’s
  observation better than his mother’s。 He must talk to Seth before
  he   went   to   see   Dinah;   and;   with   this   intention   in   his   mind;   he
  walked back to the cottage and said to his mother; “Did Seth say
  anything   to   thee   about   when   he   was   coming   home?   Will   he   be
  back to dinner?”
  “Aye;     lad;   he’ll  be   back    for   a   wonder。     He    isna   gone    to
  Treddles’on。        He’s    gone    somewhere        else   a…preachin’      and     a…
  prayin’。”
  “Hast any notion which way he’s gone?” said Adam。
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                      661
  “Nay; but he aften goes to th’ Common。 Thee know’st more o’s
  goings nor I do。”
  Adam wanted to go and meet Seth; but he must content himself
  with walking about the near fields and getting sight of him as soon
  as possible。 That would not be for more than an hour to come; for
  Seth   would   scarcely   be   at   home   much   before   their   dinner…time;
  which   was   twelve   o’clock。   But   Adam   could   not   sit   down   to   his
  reading   again;   and   he   sauntered   along   by   the   brook   and   stood
  leaning against the stiles; with eager intense eyes; which looked as
  if they saw something very vividly; but it was not the brook or the
  willows; not the fields or the sky。 Again and again  his   vision   was
  interrupted   by   wonder   at   the   strength   of   his   own   feeling;   at   the
  strength and sweetness of this new love—almost like the wonder a
  man feels at the added power he finds in himself for an art which
  he had laid aside for a space。 How is it that the poets have said so
  many fine things about our first love; so few about our later love?
  Are their first poems their best? Or are not those the best  which
  come      from   their   fuller   thought;    their   larger   experience;      their
  deeper…rooted        affections?   The    boy’s   flutelike   voice   has   its  own
  spring charm; but the man should yield a richer deeper music。
  At  last;   there   was   Seth;   visible   at  the   farthest   stile;   and   Adam
  hastened to meet him。 Seth was surprised; and thought something
  unusual must have happened; but when Adam came   up;   his   face
  said plainly enough that it was nothing alarming。
  “Where hast been?” said Adam; when they were side by side。
  “I’ve been to the Common;” said Seth。 “Dinah’s been speaking
  the Word to a little company of hearers at Brimstone’s; as they call
  him。   They’re   folks   as   never   go   to   church   hardly—them         on   the
  Common—but            they’ll   go   and    hear   Dinah     a   bit。  She’s    been
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                     662
  speaking with power this forenoon from the words; ‘I came not to
  call   the   righteous;   but   sinners   to   repentance。’   And   there   was   a
  little  thing   happened   as     was    pretty   to   see。  The  women      mostly
  bring their children with ’em; but to…day there was one stout curly
  headed fellow about three or four year old; that I never saw there
  before。 He was as naughty as could be at the beginning while I was
  praying; and while we was singing; but when we all sat down and
  Dinah  began   to   speak;   th’   young   un   stood   stock   still   all   at   once;
  and began to look at her with’s mouth open; and presently he ran
  away from’s mother and went to Dinah; and pulled at  her;   like   a
  little dog; for her to take notice of him。 So Dinah lifted him up and
  held th’ lad on her lap; while she went on speaking; and he was as
  good as could be till he went to sleep—and the mother cried to see
  him。”
  “It’s a pity she shouldna be a mother  herself;”  said Adam; “so
  fond as the children are of her。 Dost think she’s quite fixed against
  marrying; Seth? Dost think nothing ’ud turn her?”
  There     was   something      peculiar    in  his  brother’s    tone;   which
  made Seth steal a glance at his face before he answered。
  “It   ’ud  be   wrong     of  me   to   say  nothing     ’ud   turn   her;”   he
  answered。   “But   if   thee   mean’st   it   about   myself;   I’ve   given   up   all
  thoughts as she can ever be my wife。 She calls me her brother; and
  that’s enough。”
  “But dost think she might ever get fond enough of anybody else
  to be willing to marry ’em?” said Adam rather shyly。
  “Well;” said Seth; after some hesitation; “it’s crossed my mind
  sometimes o’ late as she might; but Dinah ’ud let no fondness for
  the   creature   draw   her   out   o’   the   path   as   she   believed   God   had
  marked out for her。 If she thought the leading was not from Him;
  George Eliot                                                        ElecBook Classics
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  Adam Bede                                     663
  she’s not one to be brought under the power of it。 And she’s allays
  seemed   clear   about   that—as   her   work   was   to   minister   t’   others;
  and make no home for herself i’ this world。”
  “But    sup