第 155 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9190
  “You know; Adam; my heart is as their heart; so far as love for
  them   and   care   for  their  welfare   goes;   but   they   are   in   no  present
  need。 Their sorrows are healed; and I feel that I am called back to
  my old work; in which I found a blessing that I have missed of late
  in   the   midst   of   too   abundant   worldly   good。   I   know   it   is   a   vain
  thought to flee from the work that God appoints us; for the sake of
  finding a greater blessing to our own souls; as if we could choose
  for   ourselves     where    we   shall   find   the  fulness    of  the   Divine
  Presence;   instead   of   seeking   it   where   alone   it   is   to   be   found;   in
  loving obedience。 But now; I believe; I have a clear  showing  that
  my work lies elsewhere—at least for a time。 In the years to come; if
  my  aunt’s   health  should   fail;   or she  should   otherwise need me;   I
  shall return。”
  George Eliot                                                      ElecBook Classics
  … Page 635…
  Adam Bede                                       635
  “You know best; Dinah;” said Adam。   “I  don’t  believe   you’d   go
  against   the   wishes   of   them   that   love   you;   and   are   akin   to   you;
  without a good and sufficient reason in your own conscience。 I’ve
  no   right   to   say   anything   about   my   being   sorry:   you   know   well
  enough what cause I have to put you above every other friend I’ve
  got;   and   if   it   had   been   ordered   so   that   you   could   ha’   been   my
  sister;   and lived   with  us all   our  lives;   I   should   ha’   counted   it   the
  greatest   blessing   as   could   happen   to   us   now。   But   Seth   tells   me
  there’s   no   hope   o’   that:   your   feelings   are   different;   and   perhaps
  I’m taking too much upon me to speak about it。”
  Dinah made no answer; and they walked on in silence for some
  yards; till they came to the stone stile; where; as Adam had passed
  through   first   and   turned   round   to   give   her   his   hand   while   she
  mounted the unusually high step; she could not prevent him from
  seeing   her   face。   It   struck   him   with   surprise;   for   the   grey   eyes;
  usually   so   mild   and   grave;   had   the   bright   uneasy   glance   which
  accompanies         suppressed      agitation;    and   the   slight   flush   in  her
  cheeks; with which she had come downstairs; was heightened to a
  deep   rose…colour。   She looked  as  if  she  were   only  sister  to  Dinah。
  Adam was silent with surprise and conjecture for some moments;
  and then he said; “I hope I’ve not hurt or displeased you by what
  I’ve   said;   Dinah。    Perhaps     I  was   making      too  free。   I’ve  no   wish
  different from what you see to be best; and I’m satisfied for you to
  live thirty mile off; if you think it right。 I shall think of you just as
  much as I do now; for you’re bound up with what I can no more
  help remembering than I can help my heart beating。”
  Poor Adam! Thus do men blunder。 Dinah made no answer; but
  she    presently   said;    “Have     you   heard    any   news    from    that   poor
  young man; since we last spoke of him?”
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 636…
  Adam Bede                                       636
  Dinah always called Arthur so; she had never lost the image of
  him as she had seen him in the prison。
  “Yes;” said Adam。 “Mr。 Irwine read me part of a letter from him
  yesterday。   It’s   pretty   certain;   they   say;    that   there’ll   be   a  peace
  soon; though nobody believes it’ll last long; but he says he doesn’t
  mean   to   come   home。   He’s   no   heart   for   it   yet;   and   it’s   better   for
  others   that   he   should   keep   away。   Mr。   Irwine   thinks   he’s   in   the
  right not to come。 It’s a sorrowful letter。 He asks about you and the
  Poysers; as he always does。 There’s one thing in the letter cut me a
  good   deal:   ‘You   can’t   think   what   an   old   fellow   I   feel;’   he   says;   ‘I
  make no schemes now。 I’m the best when I’ve a good day’s march
  or fighting before me。’”
  “He’s   of   a   rash;   warm…hearted   nature;   like   Esau;   for   whom   I
  have   always   felt   great   pity;”   said   Dinah。   “That   meeting   between
  the brothers; where Esau is so loving and generous; and Jacob so
  timid     and   distrustful;    notwithstanding        his  sense    of  the   Divine
  favour; has always touched me greatly。 Truly; I have been tempted
  sometimes to say that Jacob was of a mean spirit。 But that is our
  trial: we must  learn   to  see   the   good   in   the   midst  of  much  that  is
  unlovely。”
  “Ah;”   said   Adam;   “I   like   to   read   about   Moses   best;   in   th’   Old
  Testament。   He   carried   a       hard    business    well   through;     and   died
  when other folks were going to reap the fruits。 A man must have
  courage to look at his life so; and think what’ll come of it after he’s
  dead and gone。 A good solid bit o’ work lasts: if it’s only laying a
  floor down; somebody’s the better  for  it  being done   well; besides
  the man as does it。”
  They were both glad to talk of subjects that were not personal;
  and in this way they went on till they passed the bridge across the
  George Eliot                                                          ElecBook Classics
  … Page 637…
  Adam Bede                                     637
  Willow   Brook;   when   Adam   turned   round   and   said;   “Ah;          here’s
  Seth。 I thought he’d be home soon。 Does he know of you’re going;
  Dinah?”
  “Yes; I told him last Sabbath。”
  Adam       remembered        now    that   Seth    had   come     home     much
  depressed   on   Sunday   evening;   a   circumstance   which   had   been
  very unusual with him of late; for the happiness he had in seeing
  Dinah   every   week   seemed   long   to   have   outweighed   the   pain   of
  knowing   she   would   never   marry   him。   This   evening   he   had   his
  habitual air of dreamy benignant contentment; until he came quite
  close to Dinah and saw the traces of tears on her delicate eyelids
  and eyelashes。 He gave one rapid glance at his brother; but Adam
  was     evidently    quite   outside    the   current    of  emotion     that   had
  shaken   Dinah:   he   wore   his   everyday   look   of   unexpectant   calm。
  Seth tried not to let Dinah  see  that  he   had noticed  her  face; and
  only   said;   “I’m   thankful   you’re   come;   Dinah;   for   Mother’s   been
  hungering after the sight of you all day。 She began to talk of you
  the first thing in the morning。”
  When they entered the cottage; Lisbeth was seated in her arm…
  chair;    too  tired   with   setting   out  the   evening    meal;    a  task   she
  always performed a long time beforehand; to go and meet them at
  the door as usual; when she heard the approaching footsteps。
  “Coom; child; thee ’t coom at last;” she said; when Dinah went
  towards      her。  “What     dost  mane     by  lavin’   me   a  week    an’  ne’er
  coomin’ a…nigh me?”
  “Dear friend;” said Dinah; taking her hand; “you’re not well。 If
  I’d known it sooner; I’d have come。”
  “An’   how’s   thee   t’   know   if   thee   dostna   coom?   Th’   lads   on’y
  know what I tell ’em。 As long as ye can stir hand and foot the men
  George Eliot                                                        ElecBook Classics
  … Page 638…
  Adam Bede                                      638
  think ye’re hearty。 But I’m none so bad; on’y a bit of a cold sets me
  achin’。   An’   th’ lads   tease   me so  t’   ha’   somebody   wi’   me   t’   do   the
  work—they make me ache worse wi’ talkin’。 If thee’dst come and
  stay wi’ me; they’d let me alone。 The Poysers canna want thee so
  bad as I do。 But take thy bonnet off; an’ let me look at thee。”
  Dinah   was   moving   away;   but   Lisbeth   held   her   fast;   while   she
  was taking off her bonnet; and looked at her face as one looks into
  a newly gathered snowdrop; to renew the old impressions of purity
  and gentleness。
  “What’s   the   matter   wi’   thee?”   said   Lisbeth;   in   astonishment;
  “thee’st been a…cryin’。”
  “It’s   only   a   grief   that’ll   pass   away;”   said   Dinah;   who   did   not
  wish just now to call   forth  Lisbeth’s   remonstrances   by  disclosing
  her intention to leave Hayslope。 “You shall know about it shortly—
  we’ll talk of it to…night。 I shall stay with you to…night。”
  Lisbet