第 123 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9228
  paper      leaves    where    she    had    written    down     her   little  money…
  accounts。   But   on   one   of   these   leaves   there   was   a   name;   which;
  often as she had seen it before; now flashed on Hetty’s mind like a
  newly      discovered       message。       The    name      was—Dinah         Morris;
  Snowfield。 There was a text above it; written; as well as the name;
  by   Dinah’s   own   hand   with   a   little   pencil;   one   evening   that   they
  were   sitting   together   and   Hetty   happened   to   have   the   red   case
  lying   open   before   her。   Hetty   did   not   read   the   text   now:   she   was
  only     arrested     by    the   name。      Now;     for   the    first  time;    she
  remembered without indifference the affectionate kindness Dinah
  had   shown   her; and   those  words   of  Dinah   in   the   bed…chamber—
  that  Hetty  must  think   of  her  as a   friend   in   trouble。   Suppose   she
  were to go to Dinah; and ask her to help her? Dinah did not think
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  about things as other people did。 She was a mystery to Hetty; but
  Hetty   knew   she   was   always   kind。   She   couldn’t   imagine   Dinah’s
  face turning away from her in dark reproof or scorn; Dinah’s voice
  willingly     speaking      ill  of  her;  or   rejoicing    in   her   misery     as  a
  punishment。 Dinah did not seem to belong to that world of Hetty’s;
  whose   glance   she   dreaded         like  scorching   fire。   But   even     to   her
  Hetty     shrank     from    beseeching       and   confession。      She    could    not
  prevail on herself to say; “I will go to Dinah”: she only thought of
  that as a possible alternative; if she had not courage for death。
  The     good    landlady     was   amazed      when     she   saw    Hetty    come
  downstairs        soon     after   herself;     neatly    dressed;      and    looking
  resolutely   self…possessed。   Hetty   told   her   she   was   quite   well   this
  morning。   She   had   only   been   very   tired   and   overcome   with   her
  journey;   for   she   had   come   a   long   way   to   ask   about   her   brother;
  who   had   run   away;   and   they   thought   he   was   gone   for   a   soldier;
  and Captain Donnithorne might know; for he had been very kind
  to her brother once。 It was a lame story; and the landlady looked
  doubtfully at  Hetty  as   she   told it;   but  there   was   a   resolute   air   of
  self…reliance about her this morning; so different from the helpless
  prostration   of   yesterday;   that   the   landlady   hardly   knew   how   to
  make   a   remark   that   might   seem   like   prying   into   other   people’s
  affairs。   She   only   invited   her   to   sit   down   to   breakfast   with   them;
  and in the course of it Hetty brought out her ear…rings and locket;
  and asked the landlord if he could help her to get money for them。
  Her journey; she said; had cost her much more than she expected;
  and now she had no money to get back to her friends; which she
  wanted to do at once。
  It was not the first time the landlady had seen the ornaments;
  for   she   had   examined   the   contents   of   Hetty’s   pocket   yesterday;
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  and she and her husband had discussed the fact of a country girl
  having these beautiful things; with a stronger conviction than ever
  that Hetty had been miserably deluded by the fine young officer。
  “Well;” said the landlord; when Hetty had spread the precious
  trifles   before   him;   “we   might   take   ’em   to   the   jeweller’s   shop;   for
  there’s one not far off; but Lord bless you; they wouldn’t give you a
  quarter o’ what the things are worth。 And you wouldn’t like to part
  with ’em?” he added; looking at her inquiringly。
  “Oh; I don’t mind;” said Hetty; hastily; “so as I can get money to
  go back。”
  “And they might think the things were stolen; as you wanted to
  sell ’em;” he went on; “for it isn’t usual for a young woman like you
  to have fine jew’llery like that。”
  The    blood    rushed    to   Hetty’s   face   with   anger。    “I  belong    to
  respectable folks;” she said; “I’m not a thief。”
  “No;   that   you   aren’t;   I’ll   be   bound;”   said   the   landlady;   “and
  you’d   no   call   to   say   that;”   looking   indignantly   at   her   husband。
  “The things were gev to her: that’s plain enough to be seen。”
  “I    didn’t    mean      as   I   thought      so;”   said    the    husband;
  apologetically; “but I said it was what the jeweller might think; and
  so he wouldn’t be offering much money for ’em。”
  “Well;”    said   the   wife;   “suppose     you   were    to  advance     some
  money on the things yourself; and then if she liked to redeem ’em
  when she got home; she could。 But if we heard nothing from her
  after two months; we might do as we liked with ’em。”
  I  will   not   say   that   in  this  accommodating         proposition      the
  landlady   had   no   regard   whatever   to   the   possible   reward   of   her
  good nature in the ultimate possession of the locket and ear…rings:
  indeed; the effect they would have in that case on the mind of the
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  grocer’s wife had presented itself with remarkable vividness to her
  rapid     imagination。      The    landlord    took    up   the   ornaments      and
  pushed out his lips in a meditative manner。 He wished Hetty well;
  doubtless; but pray; how many of your well…wishers would decline
  to make a little gain out of you? Your landlady is sincerely affected
  at parting with you; respects you highly;   and   will  really  rejoice if
  any one else is   generous   to  you;   but  at  the   same  time she   hands
  you a bill by which she gains as high a percentage as possible。
  “How      much     money     do   you   want    to  get  home     with;   young
  woman?” said the well…wisher; at length。
  “Three guineas;” answered Hetty; fixing on the sum she set out
  with;    for   want   of  any   other   standard;   and   afraid   of   asking   too
  much。
  “Well; I’ve ho objections to advance you three guineas;” said the
  landlord; “and if you like to send it me back and get the jewellery
  again;    you    can;  you   know。     The   Green     Man    isn’t  going   to  run
  away。”
  “Oh   yes;   I’ll   be   very   glad   if   you’ll   give   me   that;”   said   Hetty;
  relieved     at  the   thought    that   she   would    not   have   to  go   to  the
  jeweller’s and be stared at and questioned。
  “But if you want the things again; you’ll write before long;” said
  the landlady; “because when two months are up; we shall make up
  our minds as you don’t want ’em。”
  “Yes;” said Hetty indifferently。
  The     husband       and    wife    were    equally     content     with    this
  arrangement。   The   husband   thought;   if   the   ornaments   were   not
  redeemed;   he   could   make   a   good   thing   of   it   by   taking   them   to
  London   and   selling   them。   The   wife   thought   she   would   coax   the
  good      man      into   letting    her    keep     them。     And     they     were
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  accommodating   Hetty;   poor   thing—a   pretty;   respectable…looking
  young   woman;   apparently   in   a   sad   case。   They   declined   to   take
  anything   for   her   food   and   bed:   she   was   quite   welcome。   And   at
  eleven o’clock Hetty said “Good…bye” to them with the same quiet;
  resolute   air   she   had   worn   all   the   morning;   mounting   the   coach
  that   was   to   take   her   twenty   miles   back   along   the   way   she   had
  come。
  There is a strength of self…possession which is the sign that the
  last   hope   has   departed。   Despair   no   more   leans        on  others    than
  perfect      contentment;        and    in    despair     pride    ceases     to    be
  counteracted by the sense of dependence。
  Hetty   felt   that   no   one  could   deliver    her   from    the  evils   that
  would   make   life   hateful   to   her;   and   no   one;