第 66 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9207
  head before the rebukes of his son。 When our indignation is borne
  in    submissive      silence;   we    are   apt   to   feel  twinges     of  doubt
  afterwards as to our own generosity; if not justice; how much more
  when the object of our anger has gone into everlasting silence; and
  we have seen his face for the last time in the meekness of death!
  “Ah! I was always too hard;” Adam said to himself。 “It’s a sore
  fault in me as I’m so hot and out o’ patience with people when they
  do   wrong;   and   my   heart   gets   shut   up   against   ’em;   so   as   I   can’t
  bring myself to forgive ’em。 I see clear enough there’s more pride
  nor  love   in my  soul;  for  I   could   sooner  make   a   thousand   strokes
  with   th’   hammer   for   my   father   than   bring   myself   to   say   a   kind
  word   to   him。   And   there   went   plenty   o’   pride   and   temper   to   the
  strokes; as the devil will be having his finger in what we call our
  duties as well as our sins。 Mayhap the best thing I ever did in my
  life   was   only   doing   what   was   easiest   for   myself。   It’s   allays   been
  easier for me to work nor to sit still; but the real tough job for me
  ’ud be to master my own will and temper and go right against my
  own pride。 It seems to me now; if I was to find Father at home to…
  night; I should behave different; but there’s no knowing—perhaps
  nothing ’ud be a lesson to us if it didn’t come too late。 It’s well we
  should feel as life’s a reckoning we can’t make twice over; there’s
  no real making amends in this world; any more nor you can mend
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
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  a wrong subtraction by doing your addition right。”
  This     was    the   key…note      to   which     Adam’s      thoughts     had
  perpetually returned since his father’s death; and the solemn wail
  of the funeral psalm was only an influence that brought back the
  old   thoughts   with   stronger   emphasis。   So   was   the   sermon;   which
  Mr。 Irwine had chosen with reference to Thias’s funeral。 It spoke
  briefly   and   simply   of   the   words;   “In   the   midst   of   life   we   are   in
  death”—how   the   present   moment   is   all   we   can   call   our   own   for
  works of mercy; of righteous dealing; and of family tenderness。 All
  very old truths—but what we thought the oldest truth becomes the
  most startling to us in the week when we have looked on the dead
  face of one who has made a part of our own lives。 For when men
  want to impress us with the effect of a new and wonderfully vivid
  light;   do   they   not   let   it   fall   on   the   most   familiar   objects;   that   we
  may measure its intensity by remembering the former dimness?
  Then came the moment of the final blessing; when the forever
  sublime       words;     “The     peace      of   God;     which     passeth      all
  understanding;”         seemed      to  blend     with    the   calm     afternoon
  sunshine   that   fell   on   the   bowed   heads   of   the   congregation;   and
  then the quiet rising; the mothers tying on the bonnets of the little
  maidens who had slept through the sermon; the fathers collecting
  the prayer…books; until all streamed out through the old archway
  into the green churchyard and began their neighbourly talk; their
  simple civilities; and their invitations to tea; for on a Sunday every
  one was ready to receive a guest—it was the day when all must be
  in their best clothes and their best humour。
  Mr。 and Mrs。 Poyser paused a minute at the church gate: they
  were waiting for Adam to come up; not being contented to go away
  without saying a kind word to the widow and her sons。
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  Adam Bede                                       267
  “Well;     Mrs。    Bede;”     said   Mrs。    Poyser;     as  they    walked      on
  together; “you must keep up your heart; husbands and wives must
  be content  when   they’ve   lived   to  rear  their  children and   see  one
  another’s hair grey。”
  “Aye; aye;” said Mr。 Poyser; “they wonna have long to wait for
  one   another  then;   anyhow。   And   ye’ve   got   two   o’   the   strapping’st
  sons i’ th’ country; and well you may; for I remember poor Thias
  as   fine   a   broad…shouldered   fellow  as   need   to   be;   and   as   for   you;
  Mrs。   Bede;   why   you’re   straighter   i’   the   back   nor   half   the   young
  women now。”
  “Eh;”   said   Lisbeth;   “it’s   poor  luck   for   the   platter   to   wear   well
  when   it’s   broke   i’   two。   The   sooner   I’m   laid   under   the   thorn   the
  better。 I’m no good to nobody now。”
  Adam never took notice of his mother’s little unjust plaints; but
  Seth said; “Nay; Mother; thee mustna say so。 Thy sons ’ull never
  get another mother。”
  “That’s true; lad; that’s true;” said Mr。 Poyser; “and it’s wrong
  on   us   to   give   way   to   grief;   Mrs。   Bede;   for   it’s   like   the   children
  cryin’ when the fathers and mothers take things from ’em。 There’s
  One above knows better nor us。”
  “Ah;”   said   Mrs。   Poyser;   “an’   it’s   poor   work   allays   settin’   the
  dead   above   the   livin’。   We   shall   all   on   us   be   dead   some   time;   I
  reckon—it ’ud be better if folks ’ud make much on us beforehand;
  i’stid o’ beginnin’ when we’re gone。 It’s but little good you’ll do a…
  watering the last year’s crop。”
  “Well;   Adam;”   said   Mr。   Poyser;   feeling   that   his   wife’s   words
  were; as usual; rather incisive than soothing; and that it would be
  well   to  change   the   subject; “you’ll come and   see   us   again   now;   I
  hope。 I hanna had a talk with you this long while; and the missis
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  here   wants   you  to  see   what  can   be done  with  her  best   spinning…
  wheel; for it’s got broke; and it’ll be a nice job to mend it—there’ll
  want   a   bit   o’   turning。   You’ll   come   as   soon   as   you   can   now;   will
  you?”
  Mr。 Poyser paused and looked round while he was speaking; as
  if to see where Hetty was; for the children were running on before。
  Hetty  was   not  without  a   companion;   and   she   had;   besides;   more
  pink and white about her than ever; for she held in her hand the
  wonderful       pink…and…white        hot…house      plant;   with    a   very   long
  name—a Scotch name; she supposed; since people said Mr。 Craig
  the   gardener   was   Scotch。   Adam   took   the   opportunity   of   looking
  round too; and I am sure you will not require of him that he should
  feel any vexation in observing a pouting expression on Hetty’s face
  as she listened to the gardener’s small talk。 Yet in her secret heart
  she was glad to have him by her side; for she would perhaps learn
  from him how it was Arthur had not come to church。 Not that she
  cared     to   ask  him   the   question;   but   she    hoped    the   information
  would be given spontaneously; for Mr。 Craig; like a superior man;
  was very fond of giving information。
  Mr。 Craig was never aware that his conversation and advances
  were received coldly; for to shift one’s point of view beyond certain
  limits is impossible to the most liberal and expansive mind; we are
  none     of  us   aware    of  the   impression      we   produce     on   Brazilian
  monkeys   of   feeble   understanding—it   is   possible   they   see   hardly
  anything in us。 Moreover; Mr。 Craig was a man of sober passions;
  and  was already  in   his   tenth  year   of   hesitation   as   to   the   relative
  advantages   of   matrimony   and   bachelorhood。   It   is   true   that;   now
  and   then;   when   he   had   been   a   little   heated   by   an   extra   glass   of
  grog;   he   had   been   heard   to   say   of   Hetty   that   the   “lass   was   well
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  enough;”      and    that   “a  man    might    do   worse”;     but   on  convivial
  occasions men are apt to express themselves strongly。
  Martin Poyser held Mr。 Craig in honour; as a man who “knew
  his    business”     and   who     had   great    lights  concerning       soils  and
  compost; but he was less of a favourite with Mrs