第 56 节
作者:温暖寒冬      更新:2024-04-09 19:50      字数:9265
  “Then mind you fall in love in the right place; and don’t  get  a
  wife who will drain your purse and make you niggardly in spite of
  yourself。     My   mother     and    I  have   a  little  discussion    about    you
  sometimes: she   says;   ‘I ll   never  risk   a single   prophecy  on   Arthur
  until I see the woman he falls in love with。’ She thinks your lady…
  love will rule you as the moon rules the tides。 But I feel bound to
  stand up for you; as my pupil you know; and I maintain that you’re
  not    of   that   watery    quality。    So   mind    you    don’t   disgrace     my
  judgment。”
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 226…
  Adam Bede                                      226
  Arthur   winced   under   this   speech;   for   keen   old   Mrs。   Irwine’s
  opinion about him had the disagreeable effect of a sinister omen。
  This;   to   be   sure;   was   only   another   reason   for   persevering   in   his
  intention;      and   getting    an   additional     security     against    himself。
  Nevertheless; at this point in the conversation; he was conscious of
  increased disinclination to tell his story about Hetty。 He was of an
  impressible       nature;    and    lived   a  great    deal   in  other    people’s
  opinions and   feelings concerning  himself; and   the   mere   fact  that
  he   was   in   the   presence   of   an   intimate   friend;   who   had   not   the
  slightest notion that he had had any such serious internal struggle
  as    he   came     to  confide;    rather    shook     his   own    belief   in   the
  seriousness of the struggle。 It was not; after all; a thing to make a
  fuss about; and what could Irwine do for him that he could not do
  for himself? He would go to Eagledale in spite of Meg’s lameness—
  go  on   Rattler; and   let  Pym   follow   as   well   as   he   could   on   the   old
  hack。 That was his thought as he sugared his coffee; but the next
  minute; as he was lifting the cup to his lips; he remembered how
  thoroughly he had made up his mind last night to tell Irwine。 No!
  He    would     not   be  vacillating    again—he     would     do   what    he   had
  meant to do; this time。 So it would be well not to let the personal
  tone   of   the   conversation   altogether   drop。   If      they   went   to   quite
  indifferent      topics;   his   difficulty   would     be   heightened。      It  had
  required no noticeable pause for this rush and rebound of feeling;
  before he answered; “But I think it is hardly an argument against
  a man’s general strength of character that he should be apt to be
  mastered   by   love。   A   fine   constitution   doesn’t   insure   one   against
  smallpox or any other of those inevitable diseases。 A man may be
  very firm in other matters and yet be under a sort of witchery from
  a woman。”
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 227…
  Adam Bede                                     227
  “Yes; but there’s this difference between love and smallpox; or
  bewitchment   either—that   if         you   detect   the  disease    at   an  early
  stage   and   try   change   of   air;   there   is   every   chance  of  complete
  escape without any further development of symptoms。 And there
  are    certain   alternative    doses    which    a  man    may    administer     to
  himself by keeping unpleasant consequences before his mind: this
  gives   you  a   sort  of  smoked  glass   through  which  you  may   look   at
  the resplendent fair one and discern her true outline; though I’m
  afraid; by the by; the smoked glass is apt to be missing just at the
  moment  it   is   most   wanted。   I   daresay;   now;   even   a   man   fortified
  with a knowledge of the classics might be lured into an imprudent
  marriage; in spite of the warning given   him by  the   chorus   in   the
  Prometheus。”
  The smile that flitted across Arthur’s face was a faint one; and
  instead     of  following    Mr。    Irwine’s    playful   lead;   he   said;  quite
  seriously—“Yes; that’s the worst of it。 It’s a desperately vexatious
  thing; that after all one’s reflections and quiet determinations; we
  should be ruled by moods that one can’t calculate on beforehand。 I
  don’t  think   a man   ought  to  be   blamed so  much if  he   is   betrayed
  into doing things in that way; in spite of his resolutions。”
  “Ah; but the moods lie in his nature; my boy; just as much as his
  reflections     did;   and   more。    A   man    can    never    do  anything     at
  variance with his own nature。 He carries within him   the   germ   of
  his most exceptional action; and if we wise people make eminent
  fools of ourselves on any particular occasion; we must endure the
  legitimate   conclusion   that   we   carry   a   few   grains   of   folly   to   our
  ounce of wisdom。”
  “Well;    but   one    may    be   betrayed      into   doing    things   by   a
  combination of circumstances; which one might never have done
  George Eliot                                                        ElecBook Classics
  … Page 228…
  Adam Bede                                      228
  otherwise。”
  “Why;   yes;   a man   can’t  very  well   steal   a   bank…note   unless   the
  bank…note   lies     within    convenient   reach;      but  he   won’t   make     us
  think him an honest man because he begins to howl at the bank…
  note for falling in his way。”
  “But   surely   you     don’t   think   a  man    who    struggles    against   a
  temptation into which he falls at last as bad as the man who never
  struggles at all?”
  “No; certainly; I pity him in proportion to his struggles; for they
  foreshadow        the  inward     suffering    which     is  the   worst    form   of
  Nemesis。       Consequences        are  unpitying。     Our    deeds    carry    their
  terrible consequences; quite apart from any fluctuations that went
  before—consequences that are hardly ever confined to ourselves。
  And     it  is  best  to  fix  our   minds     on   that   certainty;   instead    of
  considering   what   may   be   the       elements     of  excuse    for   us。  But   I
  never   knew   you   so   inclined   for   moral   discussion;   Arthur?   Is   it
  some      danger     of  your    own    that   you    are   considering      in  this
  philosophical; general way?”
  In   asking    this  question;    Mr。   Irwine    pushed     his   plate   away;
  threw himself back in his chair; and looked straight at Arthur。 He
  really   suspected   that   Arthur   wanted   to   tell   him   something;   and
  thought of smoothing the way for him by this direct question。 But
  he was mistaken。 Brought suddenly and involuntarily to the brink
  of confession; Arthur shrank back and felt less disposed towards it
  than   ever。   The   conversation   had   taken   a more   serious   tone   than
  he    had    intended—it       would     quite    mislead     Irwine—he       would
  imagine   there   was   a   deep   passion   for   Hetty;   while   there   was   no
  such thing。 He was conscious of colouring; and was annoyed at his
  boyishness。
  George Eliot                                                         ElecBook Classics
  … Page 229…
  Adam Bede                                      229
  “Oh no; no danger;” he said as indifferently as he could。 “I don’t
  know that I am more liable to irresolution than other people; only
  there are little incidents now and then that set one speculating on
  what might happen in the future。”
  Was   there   a   motive   at   work   under   this   strange   reluctance   of
  Arthur’s which had a sort of backstairs influence; not admitted to
  himself? Our mental business is carried on much in the same way
  as the business of the State: a great deal of hard work is done by
  agents who are not acknowledged。 In a piece of machinery; too; I
  believe there is often a small unnoticeable wheel which has a great
  deal   to   do   with   the   motion   of   the   large  obvious    ones。   Possibly
  there was some such unrecognised agent secretly busy in Arthur’s
  mind      at  this  moment—possibly           it  was   the   fear  lest   he  might
  hereafter find the fact of having made a confession to the rector a
  serious annoyance; in case he should not be able quite to carry out
  his   good   resolutions?   I   dare   not   assert   that   it   was   not   so。   The
  human soul is a very complex thing。
  The   idea   of   Hetty   had   just   crossed   Mr。   Irwine’s   mind   as   he
  looked      inquiringly     at  Arthur;     but   his   disclaiming      indifferent