第 51 节
作者:
温暖寒冬 更新:2024-04-09 19:50 字数:9253
estimate of what might be expected from Hetty in the way of
feeling; and in moments of indignation she had sometimes spoken
with great openness on the subject to her husband。
“She’s no better than a peacock; as ’ud strut about on the wall
and spread its tail when the sun shone if all the folks i’ the parish
was dying: there’s nothing seems to give her a turn i’ th’ inside;
not even when we thought Totty had tumbled into the pit。 To
think o’ that dear cherub! And we found her wi’ her little shoes
stuck i’ the mud an’ crying fit to break her heart by the far horse…
pit。 But Hetty never minded it; I could see; though she’s been at
the nussin’ o’ the child ever since it was a babby。 It’s my belief her
heart’s as hard as a pebble。”
“Nay; nay;” said Mr。 Poyser; “thee mustn’t judge Hetty too
hard。 Them young gells are like the unripe grain; they’ll make
good meal by and by; but they’re squashy as yet。 Thee ’t see Hetty
’ll be all right when she’s got a good husband and children of her
own。”
“I don’t want to be hard upo’ the gell。 She’s got cliver fingers of
her own; and can be useful enough when she likes and I should
miss her wi’ the butter; for she’s got a cool hand。 An’ let be what
may; I’d strive to do my part by a niece o’ yours—an’ that I’ve
done; for I’ve taught her everything as belongs to a house; an’ I’ve
told her her duty often enough; though; God knows; I’ve no breath
to spare; an’ that catchin’ pain comes on dreadful by times。 Wi’
them three gells in the house I’d need have twice the strength to
keep ’em up to their work。 It’s like having roast meat at three fires;
as soon as you’ve basted one; another’s burnin’。”
Hetty stood sufficiently in awe of her aunt to be anxious to
conceal from her so much of her vanity as could be hidden without
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too great a sacrifice。 She could not resist spending her money in
bits of finery which Mrs。 Poyser disapproved; but she would have
been ready to die with shame; vexation; and fright if her aunt had
this moment opened the door; and seen her with her bits of candle
lighted; and strutting about decked in her scarf and ear…rings。 To
prevent such a surprise; she always bolted her door; and she had
not forgotten to do so to…night。 It was well: for there now came a
light tap; and Hetty; with a leaping heart; rushed to blow out the
candles and throw them into the drawer。 She dared not stay to
take out her ear…rings; but she threw off her scarf; and let it fall on
the floor; before the light tap came again。 We shall know how it
was that the light tap came; if we leave Hetty for a short time and
return to Dinah; at the moment when she had delivered Totty to
her mother’s arms; and was come upstairs to her bedroom;
adjoining Hetty’s。
Dinah delighted in her bedroom window。 Being on the second
story of that tall house; it gave her a wide view over the fields。 The
thickness of the wall formed a broad step about a yard below the
window; where she could place her chair。 And now the first thing
she did on entering her room was to seat herself in this chair and
look out on the peaceful fields beyond which the large moon was
rising; just above the hedgerow elms。 She liked the pasture best
where the milch cows were lying; and next to that the meadow
where the grass was half…mown; and lay in silvered sweeping lines。
Her heart was very full; for there was to be only one more night on
which she would look out on those fields for a long time to come;
but she thought little of leaving the mere scene; for; to her; bleak
Snowfield had just as many charms。 She thought of all the dear
people whom she had learned to care for among these peaceful
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fields; and who would now have a place in her loving
remembrance for ever。 She thought of the struggles and the
weariness that might lie before them in the rest of their life’s
journey; when she would be away from them; and know nothing of
what was befalling them; and the pressure of this thought soon
became too strong for her to enjoy the unresponding stillness of
the moonlit fields。 She closed her eyes; that she might feel more
intensely the presence of a Love and Sympathy deeper and more
tender than was breathed from the earth and sky。 That was often
Dinah’s mode of praying in solitude。 Simply to close her eyes and
to feel herself enclosed by the Divine Presence; then gradually her
fears; her yearning anxieties for others; melted away like ice…
crystals in a warm ocean。 She had sat in this way perfectly still;
with her hands crossed on her lap and the pale light resting on her
calm face; for at least ten minutes when she was startled by a loud
sound; apparently of something falling in Hetty’s room。 But like all
sounds that fall on our ears in a state of abstraction; it had no
distinct character; but was simply loud and startling; so that she
felt uncertain whether she had interpreted it rightly。 She rose and
listened; but all was quiet afterwards; and she reflected that Hetty
might merely have knocked something down in getting into bed。
She began slowly to undress; but now; owing to the suggestions of
this sound; her thoughts became concentrated on Hetty—that
sweet young thing; with life and all its trials before her—the
solemn daily duties of the wife and mother—and her mind so
unprepared for them all; bent merely on little foolish; selfish
pleasures; like a child hugging its toys in the beginning of a long
toilsome journey in which it will have to bear hunger and cold and
unsheltered darkness。 Dinah felt a double care for Hetty; because
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she shared Seth’s anxious interest in his brother’s lot; and she had
not come to the conclusion that Hetty did not love Adam well
enough to marry him。 She saw too clearly the absence of any
warm; self…devoting love in Hetty’s nature to regard the coldness
of her behaviour towards Adam as any indication that he was not
the man she would like to have for a husband。 And this blank in
Hetty’s nature; instead of exciting Dinah’s dislike; only touched
her with a deeper pity: the lovely face and form affected her as
beauty always affects a pure and tender mind; free from selfish
jealousies。 It was an excellent divine gift; that gave a deeper
pathos to the need; the sin; the sorrow with which it was mingled;
as the canker in a lily…white bud is more grievous to behold than in
a common pot…herb。
By the time Dinah had undressed and put on her night…gown;
this feeling about Hetty had gathered a painful intensity; her
imagination had created a thorny thicket of sin and sorrow; in
which she saw the poor thing struggling torn and bleeding;
looking with tears for rescue and finding none。 It was in this way
that Dinah’s imagination and sympathy acted and reacted
habitually; each heightening the other。 She felt a deep longing to
go now and pour into Hetty’s ear all the words of tender warning
and appeal that rushed into her mind。 But perhaps Hetty was
already asleep。 Dinah put her ear to the partition and heard still
some slight noises; which convinced her that Hetty was not yet in
bed。 Still she hesitated; she was not quite certain of a divine
direction; the voice that told her to go to Hetty