第 45 节
作者:
温暖寒冬 更新:2024-04-09 19:50 字数:9220
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end of the wood。 Then they looked at each other; not quite as they
had looked before; for in their eyes there was the memory of a kiss。
But already something bitter had begun to mingle itself with
the fountain of sweets: already Arthur was uncomfortable。 He took
his arm from Hetty’s waist; and said; “Here we are; almost at the
end of the Grove。 I wonder how late it is;” he added; pulling out
his watch。 “Twenty minutes past eight—but my watch is too fast。
However; I’d better not go any further now。 Trot along quickly
with your little feet; and get home safely。 Good…bye。”
He took her hand; and looked at her half…sadly; half with a
constrained smile。 Hetty’s eyes seemed to beseech him not to go
away yet; but he patted her cheek and said “Good…bye” again。 She
was obliged to turn away from him and go on。
As for Arthur; he rushed back through the wood; as if he
wanted to put a wide space between himself and Hetty。 He would
not go to the Hermitage again; he remembered how he had
debated with himself there before dinner; and it had all come to
nothing—worse than nothing。 He walked right on into the Chase;
glad to get out of the Grove; which surely was haunted by his evil
genius。 Those beeches and smooth limes—there was something
enervating in the very sight of them; but the strong knotted old
oaks had no bending languor in them—the sight of them would
give a man some energy。 Arthur lost himself among the narrow
openings in the fern; winding about without seeking any issue; till
the twilight deepened almost to night under the great boughs; and
the hare looked black as it darted across his path。
He was feeling much more strongly than he had done in the
morning: it was as if his horse had wheeled round from a leap and
dared to dispute his mastery。 He was dissatisfied with himself;
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irritated; mortified。 He no sooner fixed his mind on the probable
consequences of giving way to the emotions which had stolen over
him to…day—of continuing to notice Hetty; of allowing himself any
opportunity for such slight caresses as he had been betrayed into
already—than he refused to believe such a future possible for
himself。 To flirt with Hetty was a very different affair from flirting
with a pretty girl of his own station: that was understood to be an
amusement on both sides; or; if it became serious; there was no
obstacle to marriage。 But this little thing would be spoken ill of
directly; if she happened to be seen walking with him; and then
those excellent people; the Poysers; to whom a good name was as
precious as if they had the best blood in the land in their veins—he
should hate himself if he made a scandal of that sort; on the estate
that was to be his own some day; and among tenants by whom he
liked; above all; to be respected。 He could no more believe that he
should so fall in his own esteem than that he should break both his
legs and go on crutches all the rest of his life。 He couldn’t imagine
himself in that position; it was too odious; too unlike him。
And even if no one knew anything about it; they might get too
fond of each other; and then there could be nothing but the misery
of parting; after all。 No gentleman; out of a ballad; could marry a
farmer’s niece。 There must be an end to the whole thing at once。 It
was too foolish。
And yet he had been so determined this morning; before he
went to Gawaine’s; and while he was there something had taken
hold of him and made him gallop back。 It seemed he couldn’t quite
depend on his own resolution; as he had thought he could; he
almost wished his arm would get painful again; and then he should
think of nothing but the comfort it would be to get rid of the pain。
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There was no knowing what impulse might seize him to…morrow;
in this confounded place; where there was nothing to occupy him
imperiously through the livelong day。 What could he do to secure
himself from any more of this folly?
There was but one resource。 He would go and tell Irwine—tell
him everything。 The mere act of telling it would make it seem
trivial; the temptation would vanish; as the charm of fond words
vanishes when one repeats them to the indifferent。 In every way it
would help him to tell Irwine。 He would ride to Broxton Rectory
the first thing after breakfast to…morrow。
Arthur had no sooner come to this determination than he began
to think which of the paths would lead him home; and made as
short a walk thither as he could。 He felt sure he should sleep now:
he had had enough to tire him; and there was no more need for
him to think。
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Chapter XIV
The Return Home
hile that parting in the wood was happening; there was
Wa parting in the cottage too; and Lisbeth had stood with
Adam at the door; straining her aged eyes to get the last
glimpse of Seth and Dinah; as they mounted the opposite slope。
“Eh; I’m loath to see the last on her;” she said to Adam; as they
turned into the house again。 “I’d ha’ been willin’ t’ ha’ her about
me till I died and went to lie by my old man。 She’d make it easier
dyin’—she spakes so gentle an’ moves about so still。 I could be fast
sure that pictur’ was drawed for her i’ thy new Bible—th’ angel a…
sittin’ on the big stone by the grave。 Eh; I wouldna mind ha’in a
daughter like that; but nobody ne’er marries them as is good for
aught。”
“Well; Mother; I hope thee wilt have her for a daughter; for
Seth’s got a liking for her; and I hope she’ll get a liking for Seth in
time。”
“Where’s th’ use o’ talkin’ a…that’n? She caresna for Seth。 She’s
goin’ away twenty mile aff。 How’s she to get a likin’ for him; I’d
like to know? No more nor the cake ’ull come wi’out the leaven。
Thy figurin’ books might ha’ tould thee better nor that; I should
think; else thee mightst as well read the commin print; as Seth
allays does。”
“Nay; Mother;” said Adam; laughing; “the figures tell us a fine
deal; and we couldn’t go far without ’em; but they don’t tell us
about folks’s feelings。 It’s a nicer job to calculate them。 But Seth’s
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as good…hearted a lad as ever handled a tool; and plenty o’ sense;
and good…looking too; and he’s got the same way o’ thinking as
Dinah。 He deserves to win her; though there’s no denying she’s a
rare bit o’ workmanship。 You don’t see such women turned off the
wheel every day。”
“Eh; thee ’t allays stick up for thy brother。 Thee’st been just the
same; e’er sin’ ye war little uns together。 Thee wart allays for
halving iverything wi’ him。 But what’s Seth got to do with
marryin’; as is on’y three…an’…twenty? He’d more need to learn an’
lay by sixpence。 An’ as for his desarving her—she’s two ’ear older
nor Seth: she’s pretty near as old as thee。 But that’s the way; folks
mun allays choose by contrairies; as if they must be sorted like the
pork—a bit o’ good meat wi’ a bit o’ offal。”
To the feminine mind in some of its moods; all things that might
be receive a temporary charm from comparison with what is; and
sin