第 49 节
作者:片片      更新:2024-04-07 21:07      字数:9322
  tearful despair she almost regretted; like brokers who hold on and lose;
  that she had not taken him at first; before he had suffered such an
  alarming depreciation。  Still; her brave soul bore her up; and she
  resolved to bear with her friend's unnatural disposition yet a little
  longer。
  Again the wedding…day approached; and again disappointment overshadowed
  it; Caruthers fell ill with the erysipelas; and lost the use of one of
  his eyes entirely。  The friends and relatives of the bride; considering
  that she had already put up with more than could reasonably be expected
  of her; now came forward and insisted that the match should be broken
  off; but after wavering awhile; Aurelia; with a generous spirit which did
  her credit; said she had reflected calmly upon the matter; and could not
  discover that Breckinridge was to blame。
  So she extended the time once more; and he broke his other leg。
  It was a sad day for the poor girl when; she saw the surgeons reverently
  bearing away the sack whose uses she had learned by previous experience;
  and her heart told her the bitter truth that some more of her lover was
  gone。  She felt that the field of her affections was growing more and
  more circumscribed every day; but once more she frowned down her
  relatives and renewed her betrothal。
  Shortly before the time set for the nuptials another disaster occurred。
  There was but one man scalped by the Owens River Indians last year。  That
  man was Williamson Breckinridge Caruthers of New Jersey。  He was hurrying
  home with happiness in his heart; when he lost his hair forever; and in
  that hour of bitterness he almost cursed the mistaken mercy that had
  spared his head。
  At last Aurelia is in serious perplexity as to what she ought to do。  She
  still loves her Breckinridge; she writes; with truly womanly feelingshe
  still loves what is left of him but her parents are bitterly opposed to
  the match; because he has no property and is disabled from working; and
  she has not sufficient means to support both comfortably。  〃Now; what
  should she do?〃 she asked with painful and anxious solicitude。
  It is a delicate question; it is one which involves the lifelong
  happiness of a woman; and that of nearly two…thirds of a man; and I feel
  that it would be assuming too great a responsibility to do more than make
  a mere suggestion in the case。  How would it do to build to him?  If
  Aurelia can afford the expense; let her furnish her mutilated lover with
  wooden arms and wooden legs; and a glass eye and a wig; and give him
  another show; give him ninety days; without grace; and if he does not
  break his neck in the mean time; marry him and take the chances。  It does
  not seem to me that there is much risk; anyway; Aurelia; because if he
  sticks to his singular propensity for damaging himself every time he sees
  a good opportunity; his next experiment is bound to finish him; and then
  you are safe; married or single。  If married; the wooden legs and such
  other valuables as he may possess revert to the widow; and you see you
  sustain no actual loss save the cherished fragment of a noble but most
  unfortunate husband; who honestly strove to do right; but whose
  extraordinary instincts were against him。  Try it; Maria。 I have thought
  the matter over carefully and well; and it is the only chance I see for
  you。  It would have been a happy conceit on the part of Caruthers if he
  had started with his neck and broken that first; but since he has seen
  fit to choose a different policy and string himself out as long as
  possible; I do not think we ought to upbraid him for it if he has enjoyed
  it。  We must do the best we can under the circumstances; and try not to
  feel exasperated at him。
  〃AFTER〃 JENKINS
  A grand affair of a ballthe Pioneers'came off at the Occidental some
  time ago。  The following notes of the costumes worn by the belles of the
  occasion may not be uninteresting to the general reader; and Jerkins may
  get an idea therefrom:
  Mrs。 W。 M。 was attired in an elegant 'pate de foie gras;' made expressly
  for her; and was greatly admired。  Miss S。 had her hair done up。  She was
  the center of attraction for the envy of all the ladies。  Mrs。 G。 W。 was
  tastefully dressed in a 'tout ensemble;' and was greeted with deafening
  applause wherever she went。  Mrs。 C。 N。 was superbly arrayed in white kid
  gloves。  Her modest and engaging manner accorded well with the
  unpretending simplicity of her costume and caused her to be regarded with
  absorbing interest by every one。
  The charming Miss M。 M。 B。 appeared in a thrilling waterfall; whose
  exceeding grace and volume compelled the homage of pioneers and emigrants
  alike。  How beautiful she was!
  The queenly Mrs。 L。 R。  was attractively attired in her new and beautiful
  false teeth; and the 'bon jour' effect they naturally produced was
  heightened by her enchanting and well…sustained smile。
  Miss R。 P。; with that repugnance to ostentation in dress which is so
  peculiar to her; was attired in a simple white lace collar; fastened with
  a neat pearl…button solitaire。  The fine contrast between the sparkling
  vivacity of her natural optic; and the steadfast attentiveness of her
  placid glass eye; was the subject of general and enthusiastic remark。
  Miss C。 L。 B。  had her fine nose elegantly enameled; and the easy grace
  with which she blew it from time to time marked her as a cultivated and
  accomplished woman of the world; its exquisitely modulated tone excited
  the admiration of all who had the happiness to hear it。
  ABOUT BARBERS
  All things change except barbers; the ways of barbers; and the
  surroundings of barbers。  These never change。  What one experiences in a
  barber's shop the first time he enters one is what he always experiences
  in barbers' shops afterward till the end of his days。  I got shaved this
  morning as usual。  A man approached the door from Jones Street as I
  approached it from Maina thing that always happens。  I hurried up; but
  it was of no use; he entered the door one little step ahead of me; and I
  followed in on his heels and saw him take the only vacant chair; the one
  presided over by the best barber。  It always happens so。  I sat down;
  hoping that I might fall heir to the chair belonging to the better of the
  remaining two barbers; for he had already begun combing his man's hair;
  while his comrade was not yet quite done rubbing up and oiling his
  customer's locks。  I watched the probabilities with strong interest。
  When I saw that No。 2 was gaining on No。 1 my interest grew to
  solicitude。  When No。 1 stopped a moment to make change on a bath ticket
  for a new…comer; and lost ground in the race; my solicitude rose to
  anxiety。  When No。 1 caught up again; and both he and his comrade were
  pulling the towels away and brushing the powder from their customers'
  cheeks; and it was about an even thing which one would say 〃Next!〃 first;
  my very breath stood still with the suspense。  But when at the
  culminating moment No。 1 stopped to pass a comb a couple of times through
  his customer's eyebrows; I saw that he had lost the race by a single
  instant; and I rose indignant and quitted the shop; to keep from falling
  into the hands of No。 2 ; for I have none of that enviable firmness that
  enables a man to look calmly into the eyes of a waiting barber and tell
  him he will wait for his fellow…barber's chair。
  I stayed out fifteen minutes; and then went back; hoping for better luck。
  Of course all the chairs were occupied now; and four men sat waiting;
  silent; unsociable; distraught; and looking bored; as men always do who
  are waiting their turn in a barber's shop。  I sat down in one of the
  iron…armed compartments of an old sofa; and put in the time far a while
  reading the framed advertisements of all sorts of quack nostrums for
  dyeing and coloring the hair。  Then I read the greasy names on the
  private bayrum bottles; read the names and noted the numbers on the
  private shaving…cups in the pigeonholes; studied the stained and damaged
  cheap prints on the walls; of battles; early Presidents; and voluptuous
  recumbent sultanas; and the tiresome and everlasting young girl putting
  her grandfather's spectacles on; execrated in my heart the cheerful
  canary and the distracting parrot that few barbers' shops are without。
  Finally; I searched out the least dilapidated of last year's illustrated
  papers that littered the foul center…table; and conned their
  unjustifiable misrepresentations of old forgotten events。
  At last my turn came。  A voice said 〃Next!〃 and I surrendered toNo。  2;
  of course。  It always happens so。  I said meekly that I was in a hurry;
  and it affected him as strongly as if he had never heard it。  He shoved
  up my head; and put a napkin under it。  He plowed his fingers into my
  collar and fixed a towel there。  He explored my hair with his claws and
  suggested that it needed trimming。  I said I did not want it trimmed。  He
  explored again and said it was pretty long for the present stylebetter
  have a little taken off; it needed it behind especially。  I said I had
  had it cut only a week before。  He yearned over it reflectively a moment;
  and then asked with a disparaging manner; who cut it?  I came back at him
  promptly wi