tramping　up　and　down　stairs；　till；　to　tell　you　the　truth；　I　am　almost
  worn　out。　　But　when　I　saw　a　light　in　your　room　to…night　I　roused　my
  energies　again　and　went　at　it　with　a　deal　of　the　old　freshness。　　But　I　am
  tired　outentirely　fagged　out。　　Give　me；　I　beseech　you；　give　me　some
  hope！〃　　I　lit　off　my　perch　in　a　burst　of　excitement；　and　exclaimed：
  〃This　transcends　everything！　　everything　that　ever　did　occur！　　Why　you
  poor　blundering　old　fossil；　you　have　had　all　your　trouble　for　nothing
  you　have　been　haunting　a　plaster　cast　of　yourselfthe　real　Cardiff　Giant
  is　in　Albany！　＇A　fact。　　The　original　fraud　was　ingeniously　and
  fraudfully　duplicated；　and　exhibited　in　New　York　as　the　〃only　genuine〃
  Cardiff　Giant　（to　the　unspeakable　disgust　of　the　owners　of　the　real
  colossus）　at　the　very　same　time　that　the　latter　was　drawing　crowds　at　a
  museum　is　Albany；＇　Confound　it；　don't　you　know　your　own　remains？〃
  I　never　saw　such　an　eloquent　look　of　shame；　of　pitiable　humiliation；
  overspread　a　countenance　before。
  The　Petrified　Man　rose　slowly　to　his　feet；　and　said：
  〃Honestly；　is　that　true？〃
  〃As　true　as　I　am　sitting　here。〃
  He　took　the　pipe　from　his　mouth　and　laid　it　on　the　mantel；　then　stood
  irresolute　a　moment　（unconsciously；　from　old　habit；　thrusting　his　hands
  where　his　pantaloons　pockets　should　have　been；　and　meditatively　dropping
  his　chin　on　his　breast）；　and　finally　said：
  〃Well…I　never　felt　so　absurd　before。　　The　Petrified　Man　has　sold
  everybody　else；　and　now　the　mean　fraud　has　ended　by　selling　its　own
  ghost！　　My　son；　if　there　is　any　charity　left　in　your　heart　for　a　poor
  friendless　phantom　like　me；　don't　let　this　get　out。　　Think　how　you　would
  feel　if　you　had　made　such　an　ass　of　yourself。〃
  I　heard　his　stately　tramp　die　away；　step　by　step　down　the　stairs　and　out
  into　the　deserted　street；　and　felt　sorry　that　he　was　gone；　poor　fellow
  and　sorrier　still　that　he　had　carried　off　my　red　blanket　and　my　bath…tub。
  THE　CAPITOLINE　VENUS
  CHAPTER　I
  ＇Scene…An　Artist's　Studio　in　Rome。＇
  〃Oh；　George；　I　do　love　you！〃
  〃Bless　your　dear　heart；　Mary；　I　know　thatwhy　is　your　father　so
  obdurate？〃
  〃George；　he　means　well；　but　art　is　folly　to　himhe　only　understands
  groceries。　　He　thinks　you　would　starve　me。〃
  〃Confound　his　wisdomit　savors　of　inspiration。　　Why　am　I　not　a　money…
  making　bowelless　grocer；　instead　of　a　divinely　gifted　sculptor　with
  nothing　to　eat？〃
  〃Do　not　despond；　Georgy；　dearall　his　prejudices　will　fade　away　as　soon
  as　you　shall　have　acquired　fifty　thousand　dol〃
  〃Fifty　thousand　demons！　　Child；　I　am　in　arrears　for　my　board！〃
  CHAPTER　II
  ＇Scene…A　Dwelling　in　Rome。＇
  〃My　dear　sir；　it　is　useless　to　talk。　　I　haven't　anything　against　you；　but
  I　can't　let　my　daughter　marry　a　hash　of　love；　art；　and　starvationI
  believe　you　have　nothing　else　to　offer。〃
  〃Sir；　I　am　poor；　I　grant　you。　　But　is　fame　nothing？　　The　Hon。　Bellamy
  Foodle　of　Arkansas　says　that　my　new　statue　of　America；　is　a　clever　piece
  of　sculpture；　and　he　is　satisfied　that　my　name　will　one　day　be　famous。〃
  〃Bosh！　　What　does　that　Arkansas　ass　know　about　it？　　Fame's　nothingthe
  market　price　of　your　marble　scarecrow　is　the　thing　to　look　at。　　It　took
  you　six　months　to　chisel　it；　and　you　can't　sell　it　for　a　hundred　dollars。
  No；　sir！　　Show　me　fifty　thousand　dollars　and　you　can　have　my　daughter
  otherwise　she　marries　young　Simper。　　You　have　just　six　months　to　raise
  the　money　in。　　Good　morning；　sir。〃
  〃Alas！　　Woe　is　me！〃
  CHAPTER　III
  ＇　Scene…The　Studio。＇
  〃Oh；　John；　friend　of　my　boyhood；　I　am　the　unhappiest　of　men。〃
  〃You're　a　simpleton！〃
  〃I　have　nothing　left　to　love　but　my　poor　statue　of　Americaand　see；　even
  she　has　no　sympathy　for　me　in　her　cold　marble　countenanceso　beautiful
  and　so　heartless！〃
  〃You're　a　dummy！〃
  〃Oh；　John！〃
  Oh；　fudge！　　Didn't　you　say　you　had　six　months　to　raise　the　money　in？〃
  〃Don't　deride　my　agony；　John。　　If　I　had　six　centuries　what　good　would　it
  do？　　How　could　it　help　a　poor　wretch　without　name；　capital；　or　friends？〃
  〃Idiot！　　Coward！　　Baby！　　Six　months　to　raise　the　money　inand　five　will
  do！〃
  〃Are　you　insane？〃
  〃Six　monthsan　abundance。　　Leave　it　to　me。　　I'll　raise　it。〃
  〃What　do　you　mean；　John？　　How　on　earth　can　you　raise　such　a　monstrous　sum
  for　me？〃
  〃Will　you　let　that　be　my　business；　and　not　meddle？　　Will　you　leave　the
  thing　in　my　hands？　　Will　you　swear　to　submit　to　whatever　I　do？　　Will　you
  pledge　me　to　find　no　fault　with　my　actions？〃
  〃I　am　dizzybewilderedbut　I　swear。〃
  John　took　up　a　hammer　and　deliberately　smashed　the　nose　of　America！　　He
  made　another　pass　and　two　of　her　fingers　fell　to　the　flooranother；　and
  part　of　an　ear　came　awayanother；　and　a　row　of　toes　was　mangled　and
  dismemberedanother；　and　the　left　leg；　from　the　knee　down；　lay　a
  fragmentary　ruin！
  John　put　on　his　hat　and　departed。
  George　gazed　speechless　upon　the　battered　and　grotesque　nightmare　before
  him　for　the　space　of　thirty　seconds；　and　then　wilted　to　the　floor　and
  went　into　convulsions。
  John　returned　presently　with　a　carriage；　got　the　broken…hearted　artist
  and　the　broken…legged　statue　aboard；　and　drove　off；　whistling　low　and
  tranquilly。
  He　left　the　artist　at　his　lodgings；　and　drove　off　and　disappeared　down
  the　Via　Quirinalis　with　the　statue。
  CHAPTER　IV
  ＇SceneThe　Studio。＇
  〃The　six　months　will　be　up　at　two　o'clock　to…day！　　Oh；　agony！　　My　life　is
  blighted。　　I　would　that　I　were　dead。　　I　had　no　supper　yesterday。　　I　have
  had　no　breakfast　to…day。　　I　dare　not　enter　an　eating…house。　　And　hungry？
  don't　mention　it！　　My　bootmaker　duns　me　to　deathmy　tailor　duns　me
  my　landlord　haunts　me。　　I　am　miserable。　　I　haven't　seen　John　since　that
  awful　day。　　She　smiles　on　me　tenderly　when　we　meet　in　the　great
  thoroughfares；　but　her　old　flint　of　a　father　makes　her　look　in　the　other
  direction　in　short　order。　　Now　who　is　knocking　at　that　door？　　Who　is　come
  to　persecute　me？　　That　malignant　villain　the　bootmaker；　I'll　warrant。
  Come　in！〃
  〃Ah；　happiness　attend　your　highnessHeaven　be　propitious　to　your　grace！
  I　have　brought　my　lord's　new　bootsah；　say　nothing　about　the　pay；　there
  is　no　hurry；　none　in　the　world。　　Shall　be　proud　if　my　noble　lord　will
  continue　to　honor　me　with　his　customah；　adieu！〃
  〃Brought　the　boots　himself！　　Don't　wait　his　pay！　　Takes　his　leave　with　a
  bow　and　a　scrape　fit　to　honor　majesty　withal！　　Desires　a　continuance　of
  my　custom！　　Is　the　world　coming　to　an　end？　　Of　all　thecome　in！〃
  〃Pardon；　signore；　but　I　have　brought　your　new　suit　of　clothes　for〃
  〃Come　in！〃
  〃A　thousand　pardons　for　this　intrusion；　your　worship。　　But　I　have
  prepared　the　beautiful　suite　of　rooms　below　for　youthis　wretched　den　is
  but　ill　suited　to〃
  〃Come　in！〃
  〃I　have　called　to　say　that　your　credit　at　our　bank；　some　time　since
  unfortunately　interrupted；　is　entirely　and　most　satisfactorily　restored；
  and　we　shall　be　most　happy　if　you　will　draw　upon　us　for　any〃
  〃COME　IN！〃
  〃My　noble　boy；　she　is　yours！　　She'll　be　here　in　a　moment！　　Take　her
  marry　herlove　herbe　happy！God　bless　you　both！　　Hip；　hip；　hur〃
  〃COME　IN！！！！！〃
  〃Oh；　George；　my　own　darling；　we　are　saved！〃
  〃Oh；　Mary；　my　own　darling；　we　are　savedbut　I'll　swear　I　don't　know　why
  nor　how！〃
  CHAPTER　V
  ＇Scene…A　Roman　Caf？＇
  One　of　a　group　of　American　gentlemen　reads　and　translates　from　the　weekly
  edition　of　'Il　Slangwhanger　di　Roma'　as　follows：
  WONDERFUL　DISCOVERYSome　six　months　ago　Signor　John　Smitthe；　an　American
  gentleman　now　some　years　a　resident　of　Rome；　purchased　for　a　trifle　a
  small　piece　of　ground　in　the　Campagna；　just　beyond　the　tomb　of　the　Scipio
  family；　from　the　owner；　a　bankrupt　relative　of　the　Princess　Borghese。
  Mr。　Smitthe　afterward　went　to　the　Minister　of　the　Public　Records　and　had
  the　piece　of　ground　transferred　to　a　poor　American　artist　named　George
  Arnold；　explaining　that　he　did　it　as　payment　and　satisfaction　for
  pecuniary　damage　accidentally　done　by　him　long　since　upon　property
  belonging　to　Signor　Arnold；　and　further　observed　that　he　would　make
  additional　satisfaction　by　improving　the　ground　for　Signor　A。；　at　his　own
  charge　and　cost。　　Four　weeks　ago；　while　making　some　necessary　excavations
  upon　the　property；　Signor　Smitthe　unearthed　the　most　remarkable　ancient
  statue　that　has　ever　bees　added　to　the　opulent　art　treasures　of　Rome。
  It　was　an　exquisite　figure　of　a　woman；　and　though　sadly　stained　by　the
  soil　and　the　mold　of　ages；　no　eye　can　look　unmoved　upon　its　ravishing
  beauty。　　The　nose；　the　left　leg　from　the　knee　down；　an　ear；　and　also　the
  toes　of　the　right　foot　and　two　fingers　of　one　of　the　hands　were　gone；
  but　otherwise　the　noble　figure　was　in　a　remarkable　state　of　preservation。
  The　government　at　once　took　military　possession　of　the　statue；　and
  appointed　a　commission　of　art…critics；　antiquaries；　and　cardinal　princes
  of　the　church　to　assess　its　value　and　determine　the　remuneration　that
  must　go　to　the　owner　of　the　ground　in　which　it　was　found。　　The　whole
  affair　was　kept　a　profound　secret　until　last　night。　　In　the　mean　time　the
  commission　sat　with　closed　doors　and　deliberated。　　Last　night　they
  decided　unanimously　that　the　statue　is　a　Venus；　and　the　work　of　some
  unknown　but　sublimely　gifted　artist　of　the　third　century　before　Christ。
  They　consider　it　the　m