sacrifice　of　time。　　This　sort　of　men　is　rare。
  Riley　has　a　ready　wit；　a　quickness　and　aptness　at　selecting　and　applying
  quotations；　and　a　countenance　that　is　as　solemn　and　as　blank　as　the　back
  side　of　a　tombstone　when　he　is　delivering　a　particularly　exasperating
  joke。　　One　night　a　negro　woman　was　burned　to　death　in　a　house　next　door
  to　us；　and　Riley　said　that　our　landlady　would　be　oppressively　emotional
  at　breakfast；　because　she　generally　made　use　of　such　opportunities　as
  offered；　being　of　a　morbidly　sentimental　turn；　and　so　we　should　find　it
  best　to　let　her　talk　along　and　say　nothing　backit　was　the　only　way　to
  keep　her　tears　out　of　the　gravy。　　Riley　said　there　never　was　a　funeral　in
  the　neighborhood　but　that　the　gravy　was　watery　for　a　week。
  And；　sure　enough；　at　breakfast　the　landlady　was　down　in　the　very　sloughs
  of　woeentirely　brokenhearted。　　Everything　she　looked　at　reminded　her　of
  that　poor　old　negro　woman；　and　so　the　buckwheat　cakes　made　her　sob；　the
  coffee　forced　a　groan；　and　when　the　beefsteak　came　on　she　fetched　a　wail
  that　made　our　hair　rise。　　Then　she　got　to　talking　about　deceased；　and
  kept　up　a　steady　drizzle　till　both　of　us　were　soaked　through　and　through。
  Presently　she　took　a　fresh　breath　and　said；　with　a　world　of　sobs：
  〃Ah；　to　think　of　it；　only　to　think　of　it！the　poor　old　faithful
  creature。　　For　she　was　so　faithful。　　Would　you　believe　it；　she　had　been　a
  servant　in　that　selfsame　house　and　that　selfsame　family　for　twenty　seven
  years　come　Christmas；　and　never　a　cross　word　and　never　a　lick！　　And；　oh；
  to　think　she　should　meet　such　a　death　at　last！a…sitting　over　the　red
  hot　stove　at　three　o'clock　in　the　morning　and　went　to　sleep　and　fell　on
  it　and　was　actually　roasted！　　Not　just　frizzled　up　a　bit；　but　literally
  roasted　to　a　crisp！　　Poor　faithful　creature；　how　she　was　cooked！　　I　am
  but　a　poor　woman；　but　even　if　I　have　to　scrimp　to　do　it；　I　will　put　up　a
  tombstone　over　that　lone　sufferer's　graveand　Mr。　Riley　if　you　would
  have　the　goodness　to　think　up　a　little　epitaph　to　put　on　it　which　would
  sort　of　describe　the　awful　way　in　which　she　met　her〃
  〃Put　it；　'Well　done；　good　and　faithful　servant；'〃　said　Riley；　and　never
  smiled。
  A　FINE　OLD　MAN
  John　Wagner；　the　oldest　man　in　Buffaloone　hundred　and　four　years　old
  recently　walked　a　mile　and　a　half　in　two　weeks。
  He　is　as　cheerful　and　bright　as　any　of　these　other　old　men　that　charge
  around　so　persistently　and　tiresomely　in　the　newspapers；　and　in　every　way
  as　remarkable。
  Last　November　he　walked　five　blocks　in　a　rainstorm；　without　any　shelter
  but　an　umbrella；　and　cast　his　vote　for　Grant；　remarking　that　he　had　voted
  for　forty…seven　presidentswhich　was　a　lie。
  His　〃second　crop〃　of　rich　brown　hair　arrived　from　New　York　yesterday；　and
  he　has　a　new　set　of　teeth　coming　from　Philadelphia。
  He　is　to　be　married　next　week　to　a　girl　one　hundred　and　two　years　old；
  who　still　takes　in　washing。
  They　have　been　engaged　eighty　years；　but　their　parents　persistently
  refused　their　consent　until　three　days　ago。
  John　Wagner　is　two　years　older　than　the　Rhode　Island　veteran；　and　yet　has
  never　tasted　a　drop　of　liquor　in　his　lifeunless…unless　you　count
  whisky。
  SCIENCE　V。S。　LUCK　＇Written　about　1867。＇
  At　that　time；　in　Kentucky　（said　the　Hon。　Mr。　K…）；　the　law　was　very
  strict　against　what　is　termed　〃games　of　chance。〃　　About　a　dozen　of　the
  boys　were　detected　playing　〃seven　up〃　or　〃old　sledge〃　for　money；　and　the
  grand　jury　found　a　true　bill　against　them。　　Jim　Sturgis　was　retained　to
  defend　them　when　the　case　came　up；　of　course。　The　more　he　studied　over
  the　matter；　and　looked　into　the　evidence；　the　plainer　it　was　that　he　must
  lose　a　case　at　lastthere　was　no　getting　around　that　painful　fact。
  Those　boys　had　certainly　been　betting　money　on　a　game　of　chance。　　Even
  public　sympathy　was　roused　in　behalf　of　Sturgis。　　People　said　it　was　a
  pity　to　see　him　mar　his　successful　career　with　a　big　prominent　case　like
  this；　which　must　go　against　him。
  But　after　several　restless　nights　an　inspired　idea　flashed　upon　Sturgis；
  and　he　sprang　out　of　bed　delighted。　　He　thought　he　saw　his　way　through。
  The　next　day　he　whispered　around　a　little　among　his　clients　and　a　few
  friends；　and　then　when　the　case　came　up　in　court　he　acknowledged　the
  seven…up　and　the　betting；　and；　as　his　sole　defense；　had　the　astounding
  effrontery　to　put　in　the　plea　that　old　sledge　was　not　a　game　of　chance！
  There　was　the　broadest　sort　of　a　smile　all　over　the　faces　of　that
  sophisticated　audience。　　The　judge　smiled　with　the　rest。　　But　Sturgis
  maintained　a　countenance　whose　earnestness　was　even　severe。　　The　opposite
  counsel　tried　to　ridicule　him　out　of　his　position；　and　did　not　succeed。
  The　judge　jested　in　a　ponderous　judicial　way　about　the　thing；　but　did　not
  move　him。　　The　matter　was　becoming　grave。　　The　judge　lost　a　little　of　his
  patience；　and　said　the　joke　had　gone　far　enough。　　Jim　Sturgis　said　he
  knew　of　no　joke　in　the　matterhis　clients　could　not　be　punished　for
  indulging　in　what　some　people　chose　to　consider　a　game　of　chance　until　it
  was　proven　that　it　was　a　game　of　chance。　　Judge　and　counsel　said　that
  would　be　an　easy　matter；　and　forthwith　called　Deacons　Job；　Peters；　Burke；
  and　Johnson；　and　Dominies　Wirt　and　Miggles；　to　testify；　and　they
  unanimously　and　with　strong　feeling　put　down　the　legal　quibble　of　Sturgis
  by　pronouncing　that　old　sledge　was　a　game　of　chance。
  〃What　do　you　call　it　now？〃　said　the　judge。
  〃I　call　it　a　game　of　science！〃　retorted　Sturgis；　〃and　I'll　prove　it；
  too！〃
  They　saw　his　little　game。
  He　brought　in　a　cloud　of　witnesses；　and　produced　an　overwhelming　mass　of
  testimony；　to　show　that　old　sledge　was　not　a　game　of　chance　but　a　game　of
  science。
  Instead　of　being　the　simplest　case　in　the　world；　it　had　somehow　turned
  out　to　be　an　excessively　knotty　one。　　The　judge　scratched　his　head　over
  it　awhile；　and　said　there　was　no　way　of　coming　to　a　determination；
  because　just　as　many　men　could　be　brought　into　court　who　would　testify　on
  one　side　as　could　be　found　to　testify　on　the　other。　　But　he　said　he　was
  willing　to　do　the　fair　thing　by　all　parties；　and　would　act　upon　any
  suggestion　Mr。　Sturgis　would　make　for　the　solution　of　the　difficulty。
  Mr。　Sturgis　was　on　his　feet　in　a　second。
  〃Impanel　a　jury　of　six　of　each；　Luck　versus　Science。　　Give　them　candles
  and　a　couple　of　decks　of　cards。　　Send　them　into　the　jury…room；　and　just
  abide　by　the　result！〃
  There　was　no　disputing　the　fairness　of　the　proposition。　　The　four　deacons
  and　the　two　dominies　were　sworn　in　as　the　〃chance〃　jurymen；　and　six
  inveterate　old　seven…up　professors　were　chosen　to　represent　the　〃science〃
  side　of　the　issue。　　They　retired　to　the　jury…room。
  In　about　two　hours　Deacon　Peters　sent　into　court　to　borrow　three　dollars
  from　a　friend。　　＇Sensation。＇　　In　about　two　hours　more　Dominie　Miggles
  sent　into　court　to　borrow　a　〃stake〃　from　a　friend。　　＇Sensation。＇　　During
  the　next　three　or　four　hours　the　other　dominie　and　the　other　deacons　sent
  into　court　for　small　loans。　　And　still　the　packed　audience　waited；　for　it
  was　a　prodigious　occasion　in　Bull's　Corners；　and　one　in　which　every
  father　of　a　family　was　necessarily　interested。
  The　rest　of　the　story　can　be　told　briefly。　　About　daylight　the　jury　came
  in；　and　Deacon　Job；　the　foreman；　read　the　following：
  VERDICT：
  We；　the　jury　in　the　case　of　the　Commonwealth　of　Kentucky　vs。　John
  Wheeler　et　al。；　have　carefully　considered　the　points　of　the　case；
  and　tested　the　merits　of　the　several　theories　advanced；　and　do
  hereby　unanimously　decide　that　the　game　commonly　known　as　old　sledge
  or　seven…up　is　eminently　a　game　of　science　and　not　of　chance。　　In
  demonstration　whereof　it　is　hereby　and　herein　stated；　iterated；
  reiterated；　set　forth；　and　made　manifest　that；　during　the　entire
  night；　the　〃chance〃　men　never　won　a　game　or　turned　a　jack；　although
  both　feats　were　common　and　frequent　to　the　opposition；　and
  furthermore；　in　support　of　this　our　verdict；　we　call　attention　to
  the　significant　fact　that　the　〃chance〃　men　are　all　busted；　and　the
  〃science〃　men　have　got　the　money。　　It　is　the　deliberate　opinion　of
  this　jury；　that　the　〃chance〃　theory　concerning　seven…up　is　a
  pernicious　doctrine；　and　calculated　to　inflict　untold　suffering　and
  pecuniary　loss　upon　any　community　that　takes　stock　in　it。
  〃That　is　the　way　that　seven…up　came　to　be　set　apart　and　particularized　in
  the　statute…books　of　Kentucky　as　being　a　game　not　of　chance　but　of
  science；　and　therefore　not　punishable　under　the　law；〃　said　Mr。　K…。
  〃That　verdict　is　of　record；　and　holds　good　to　this　day。〃
  THE　LATE　BENJAMIN　FRANKLIN　＇Written　about　1870。＇
  ＇〃Never　put　off　till　to…morrow　what　you　can　do　day　after　to…morrow　just
  as　well。〃B。　F。＇
  This　party　was　one　of　those　persons　whom　they　call　Philosophers。　　He　was
  twins；　being　born　simultaneously　in　two　different　houses　in　the　city　of
  Boston。　　These　houses　remain　unto　this　day；　and　have　signs　upon　them
  worded　in　accordance　with　the　facts。　　The　signs　are　considered　well
  enough　to　have；　though　not　necessary；　because　the　inhabitants　point　out
  the　two　birthplaces　to　the　stranger　anyhow；　and　sometimes　as　often　as
  severa