第 17 节
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痛罚 更新:2024-04-07 11:54 字数:9321
nervousness。 I do not know what she expected me
to do or say; but toward the end of the sermon it
became clear that I had not justified her fears。
The look of intense apprehension left her eyes; her
features relaxed into placidity; and later in the day
she paid me the highest compliment I had yet re…
ceived from a member of my family。
‘‘I liked the sermon very much;'' she peacefully
told my brother。 ‘‘Anna didn't say anything about
hell; or about anything else!''
When we laughed at this handsome tribute; she
hastened to qualify it。
‘‘What I mean;'' she explained; ‘‘is that Anna
didn't say anything objectionable in the pulpit!''
And with this recognition I was content。
Between the death of my friend and my departure
for Europe I buried myself in the work of the uni…
versity and of my little church; and as if in answer
to the call of my need; Mary E。 Livermore; who had
given me the first professional encouragement I
had ever received; re…entered my life。 Her husband;
like myself; was pastor of a church in Hingham; and
whenever his finances grew low; or there was need
of a fund for some special purposeconditions that
usually exist in a small churchhis brilliant wife
came to his assistance and raised the money; while
her husband retired modestly to the background
and regarded her with adoring eyes。 On one of
these occasions; I remember; when she entered the
pulpit to preach her sermon; she dropped her bon…
net and coat on an unoccupied chair。 A little later
there was need of this chair; and Mr。 Livermore;
who sat under the pulpit; leaned forward; picked up
the garments; and; without the least trace of self…
consciousness; held them in his lap throughout the
sermon。 One of the members of the church; who
appeared to be irritated by the incident; later spoke
of it to him and added; sardonically; ‘‘How does it
feel to be merely ‘Mrs。 Livermore's husband'?''
In reply Mr。 Livermore flashed on him one of his
charming smiles。 ‘‘Why; I'm very proud of it;''
he said; with the utmost cheerfulness。 ‘‘You see;
I'm the only man in the world who has that dis…
tinction。''
They were a charming couple; the Livermores;
and they deserved far more than they received from
a world to which they gave so freely and so richly。
To me; as to others; they were more than kind; and
I never recall them without a deep feeling of grati…
tude and an equally deep sense of loss in their passing。
It was during this period; also; that I met Frances
E。 Willard。 There was a great Moody revival in
progress in Boston; and Miss Willard was the right…
hand assistant of Mr。 Moody。 To her that revival
must have been marked with a star; for during it
she met for the first time Miss Anna Gordon; who
became her life…long friend and her biographer。
The meetings also laid the foundation of our friend…
ship; and for many years Miss Willard and I were
closely associated in work and affection。
On the second or third night of the revival; dur…
ing one of the ‘‘mixed meetings;'' attended by both
women and men; Mr。 Moody invited those who were
willing to talk to sinners to come to the front。 I
went down the aisle with others; and found a seat
near Miss Willard; to whom I was then introduced
by some one who knew us both。 I wore my hair
short in those days; and I had a little fur cap on my
head。 Though I had been preaching for several
years; I looked absurdly youngfar too young; it
soon became evident; to interest Mr。 Moody。 He
was already moving about among the men and
women who had responded to his invitation; and
one by one he invited them to speak; passing me
each time until at last I was left alone。 Then he
took pity on me and came to my side to whisper
kindly that I had misunderstood his invitation。
He did not want young girls to talk to his people;
he said; but mature women with worldly experi…
ence。 He advised me to go home to my mother;
adding; to soften the blow; that some time in the
future when there were young girls at the meeting
I could come and talk to them。
I made no explanations to him; but started to
leave; and Miss Willard; who saw me departing; fol…
lowed and stopped me。 She asked why I was going;
and I told her that Mr。 Moody had sent me home
to grow。 Frances Willard had a keen sense of humor;
and she enjoyed the joke so thoroughly that she
finally convinced me it was amusing; though at first
the humor of it had escaped me。 She took me back
to Mr。 Moody and explained the situation to him;
and he apologized and put me to work。 He said
he had thought I was about sixteen。 After that I
occasionally helped him in the intervals of my other
work。
The time had come to follow Mrs。 Addy's wishes
and go to Europe; and I sailed in the month of
June following my graduation; and traveled for three
months with a party of tourists under the direction
of Eben Tourgee; of the Boston Conservatory of
Music。 We landed in Glasgow; and from there
went to England; Belgium; Holland; Germany;
France; and last of all to Italy。 Our company in…
cluded many clergymen and a never…to…be…forgotten
widow whose light…hearted attitude toward the mem…
ory of her departed spouse furnished the comedy
of our first voyage。 It became a pet diversion to
ask her if her husband still lived; for she always
answered the question in the same mournful words;
and with the same manner of irrepressible gaiety。
‘‘Oh no!'' she would chirp。 ‘‘My dear departed
has been in our Heavenly Father's house for the
past eight years!''
At its best; the vacation without my friend was
tragically incomplete; and only a few of its incidents
stand out with clearness across the forty…six years
that have passed since then。 One morning; I re…
member; I preached an impromptu sermon in the
Castle of Heidelberg before a large gathering; and
a little later; in Genoa; I preached a very different
sermon to a wholly different congregation。 There
was a gospel…ship in the harbor; and one Saturday
the pastor of it came ashore to ask if some American
clergyman in our party would preach on his ship
the next morning。 He was an old…time; orthodox
Presbyterian; and from the tips of his broad…soled
shoes to the severe part in the hair above his sancti…
monious brow he looked the type。 I was not pres…
sent when he called at our hotel; and my absence
gave my fellow…clergymen an opportunity to play a
joke on the gentleman from the gospel…ship。 They
assured him that ‘‘Dr。 Shaw'' would preach for him;
and the pastor returned to his post greatly pleased。
When they told me of his invitation; however; they
did not add that they had neglected to tell him Dr。
Shaw was a woman; and I was greatly elated by
the compliment I thought had been paid me。
Our entire party of thirty went out to the gospel…
ship the next morning; and when the pastor came
to meet us; lank and forbidding; his austere lips vainly
trying to curve into a smile of welcome; they intro…
duced me to him as the minister who was to deliver
the sermon。 He had just taken my hand; he
dropped it as if it had burned his own。 For a mo…
ment he had no words to meet the crisis。 Then he
stuttered something to the effect that the situation
was impossible that his men would not listen to
a woman; that they would mob her; that it would
be blasphemous for a woman to preach。 My asso…
ciates; who had so light…heartedly let me in for this
unpleasant experience; now realized that they must
see me through it。 They persuaded him to allow
me to preach the sermon。
With deep reluctance the pastor finally accepted
me and the situation; but when the moment came
to introduce me; he devoted most of his time to
heartfelt apologies for my presence。 He explained
to the sailors that I was a woman; and fervidly
assured them that he himself was not responsible
for my appearance there。 With every word he ut…
tered he put a brick in the wall he was building be…
tween me and the crew; until at last I felt that I
could never get past it。 I was very unhappy; very
lonely; very homesick; and suddenly the thought
came to me that these men; notwithstanding their
sullen eyes and forbidding faces; might be lonely
and homesick; too。 I decided to talk to them as a
woman and not as a minister; and I came down from
the pulpit and faced them on their own level; look…
ing them over and mentally selecting the hardest
specimens of the lot as the special objects of my
appeal。 One old fellow; who looked like a pirate
with his red…rimmed eyes; weather…beaten skin; and
fimbriated face; grinned up at me in such sardonic
challenge that I walked directly in front of him and
began to speak。 I said:
‘‘My friends; I hope you will forget everything
Dr。 Blank has just said。 It is true that I am a
minister; and that I came here to preach。 But