第 14 节
作者:
痛罚 更新:2024-04-07 11:54 字数:9321
with him; though I did not like his appearance。
He was a huge; muscular person; with a protruding
jaw and a singularly evasive eye; but I reflected
that his forbidding expression might be due; in part
at least; to the prospect of the long night drive
through the woods; to which possibly he objected
as much as I did。
It was already growing dark when we started;
and within a few moments we were out of the little
settlement and entering the woods。 With me I had
a revolver I had long since learned to use; but which
I very rarely carried。 I had hesitated to bring it
nowhad even left home without it; and then; im…
pelled by some impulse I never afterward ceased
to bless; had returned for it and dropped it into
my hand…bag。
I sat on the back seat of the wagon; directly
behind the driver; and for a time; as we entered
the darkening woods; his great shoulders blotted out
all perspective as he drove on in stolid silence。
Then; little by little; they disappeared like a rapidly
fading negative。 The woods were filled with Norway
pines; hemlocks; spruce; and tamaracks…great;
somber trees that must have shut out the light even
on the brightest days。 To…night the heavens held
no lamps aloft to guide us; and soon the darkness
folded around us like a garment。 I could see neither
the driver nor his horses。 I could hear only the
sibilant whisper of the trees and the creak of our
slow wheels in the rough forest road。
Suddenly the driver began to talk; and at first
I was glad to hear the reassuring human tones; for
the experience had begun to seem like a bad dream。
I replied readily; and at once regretted that I had
done so; for the man's choice of topics was most
unpleasant。 He began to tell me stories of the
stockadesgrim stories with horrible details; re…
peated so fully and with such gusto that I soon
realized he was deliberately affronting my ears。
I checked him and told him I could not listen to
such talk。
He replied with a series of oaths and shocking
vulgarities; stopping his horses that he might turn
and fling the words into my face。 He ended by
snarling that I must think him a fool to imagine
he did not know the kind of woman I was。 What
was I doing in that rough country; he demanded;
and why was I alone with him in those black woods
at night?
Though my heart missed a beat just then; I tried
to answer him calmly。
‘‘You know perfectly well who I am;'' I reminded
him。 ‘‘And you understand that I am making this
journey to…night because I am to preach to…morrow
morning and there is no other way to keep my
appointment。''
He uttered a laugh which was a most unpleasant
sound。
‘‘Well;'' he said; coolly; ‘‘I'm damned if I'll take
you。 I've got you here; and I'm going to keep you
here!''
I slipped my hand into the satchel in my lap; and
it touched my revolver。 No touch of human fingers
ever brought such comfort。 With a deep breath
of thanksgiving I drew it out and cocked it; and
as I did so he recognized the sudden click。
‘‘Here! What have you got there?'' he snapped。
‘‘I have a revolver;'' I replied; as steadily as I
could。 ‘‘And it is cocked and aimed straight at
your back。 Now drive on。 If you stop again; or
speak; I'll shoot you。''
For an instant or two he blustered。
‘‘By God;'' he cried; ‘‘you wouldn't dare。''
‘‘Wouldn't I?'' I asked。 ‘‘Try me by speaking
just once more。''
Even as I spoke I felt my hair rise on my scalp
with the horror of the moment; which seemed worse
than any nightmare a woman could experience。
But the man was conquered by the knowledge of
the waiting; willing weapon just behind him。 He
laid his whip savagely on the backs of his horses
and they responded with a leap that almost knocked
me out of the wagon。
The rest of the night was a black terror I shall
never forget。 He did not speak again; nor stop;
but I dared not relax my caution for an instant。
Hour after hour crawled toward day; and still I
sat in the unpierced darkness; the revolver ready。
I knew he was inwardly raging; and that at any
instant he might make a sudden jump and try to
get the revolver away from me。 I decided that
at his slightest movement I must shoot。 But dawn
came at last; and just as its bluish light touched
the dark tips of the pines we drove up to the log
hotel in the settlement that was our destination。
Here my driver spoke。
‘‘Get down;'' he said; gruffly。 ‘‘This is the place。''
I sat still。 Even yet I dared not trust him。
Moreover; I was so stiff after my vigil that I was
not sure I could move。
‘‘You get down;'' I directed; ‘‘and wake up the
landlord。 Bring him out here。''
He sullenly obeyed and aroused the hotel…owner;
and when the latter appeared I climbed out of the
wagon with some effort but without explanation。
That morning I preached in my friend's pulpit as I
had promised to do; and the rough building was
packed to its doors with lumbermen who had come
in from the neighboring camp。 Their appearance
caused great surprise; as they had never attended
a service before。 They formed a most picturesque
congregation; for they all wore brilliant lumber…camp
clothingblue or red shirts with yellow scarfs
twisted around their waists; and gay…colored jackets
and logging…caps。 There were forty or fifty of
them; and when we took up our collection they
responded with much liberality and cheerful shouts
to one another。
‘‘Put in fifty cents!'' they yelled across the church。
‘‘Give her a dollar!''
The collection was the largest that had been taken
up in the history of the settlement; but I soon
learned that it was not the spiritual comfort I
offered which had appealed to the lumber…men。
My driver of the night before; who was one of their
number; had told his pals of his experience; and the
whole camp had poured into town to see the woman
minister who carried a revolver。
‘‘Her sermon?'' said one of them to my landlord;
after the meeting。 ‘‘Huh! I dunno what she
preached。 But; say; don't make no mistake about
one thing: the little preacher has sure got grit!''
IV
THE WOLF AT THE DOOR
When I returned to Albion College in the
autumn of 1875 I brought with me a problem
which tormented me during my waking hours and
chattered on my pillow at night。 Should I devote
two more years of my vanishing youth to the com…
pletion of my college course; or; instead; go at once
to Boston University; enter upon my theological
studies; take my degree; and be about my Father's
business?
I was now twenty…seven years old; and I had been
a licensed preacher for three years。 My reputation
in the Northwest was growing; and by sermons and
lectures I could certainly earn enough to pay the
expenses of the full college course。 On the other
hand; Boston was a new world。 There I would be
alone and practically penniless; and the oppor…
tunities for work might be limited。 Quite possibly
in my final two years at Albion I could even save
enough money to make the experience in Boston
less difficult; and the clear common sense I had
inherited from my mother reminded me that in
this course lay wisdom。 Possibly it was some in…
heritance from my visionary father which made
me; at the end of three months; waive these sage
reflections; pack my few possessions; and start for
Boston; where I entered the theological school of
the university in February; 1876。
It was an instance of stepping off a solid plank
and into space; and though there is exhilaration
in the sensation; as I discovered then and at later
crises in life when I did the same thing; there was
also an amount of subsequent discomfort for which
even my lively imagination had not prepared me。
I went through some grim months in Boston
months during which I learned what it was to go
to bed cold and hungry; to wake up cold and hungry;
and to have no knowledge of how long these con…
ditions might continue。 But not more than once or
twice during the struggle there; and then only for
an hour or two in the physical and mental depression
attending malnutrition; did I regret coming。 At
that period of my life I believed that the Lord had
my small personal affairs very much on His mind。
If I starved and froze it was His test of my worthi…
ness for the ministry; and if He had really chosen
me for one of His servants; He would see me through。
The faith that sustained me then has still a place
in my life; and existence without it would be an
infinitely more dreary affair than it is。 But I admit
that I now call upon the Lord less often and less
imperatively than I did before the stern years taught
me my unimportance in the great scheme of things。
My class at the theological school was composed
of forty…two young men and my unworthy self; and