第 12 节
作者:浮游云中      更新:2024-04-07 11:54      字数:9322
  could not guess。       The walls were hard and smooth; of that stone unlike
  stone which we had seen in our tunnel。
  We    both   knew     it  without   words:     this   house   was    left  from   the
  Unmentionable Times。 The trees had protected it from time and weather;
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  and from men who have less pity than time and weather。 We turned to the
  Golden One and we asked:
  〃Are you afraid?〃
  But they shook their head。         So we walked to the door; and we threw it
  open;   and    we   stepped    together   into   the   house   of   the Unmentionable
  Times。
  We shall need the days and the years ahead; to look; to learn; and to
  understand the things of this house。          Today; we could only look and try to
  believe   the   sight   of   our   eyes。 We   pulled   the   heavy   curtains   from   the
  windows and we saw that the rooms were small; and we thought that not
  more than twelve men could have lived here。 We thought it strange that
  men had been permitted to build a house for only twelve。
  Never had   we seen   rooms   so   full of light。 The   sunrays   danced upon
  colors; colors; more colors than we thought possible; we who had seen no
  houses save the white ones; the brown ones and the grey。 There were great
  pieces of glass on the walls; but it was not glass; for when we looked upon
  it we saw our own bodies and all the things behind us; as on the face of a
  lake。    There were strange things which we had never seen and the use of
  which we do not know。            And there were globes of glass everywhere; in
  each room; the globes with the metal cobwebs inside; such as we had seen
  in our tunnel。
  We   found   the   sleeping   hall   and   we   stood   in   awe   upon   its   threshold。
  For it was a small room and there were only two beds in it。                We found no
  other beds in the house; and then we knew that only two had lived here;
  and this passes understanding。 What kind of world did they have; the men
  of the Unmentionable Times?
  We found garments; and the Golden One gasped at the sight of them。
  For they were not white tunics; nor white togas; they were of all colors; no
  two   of   them   alike。   Some   crumbled   to   dust   as   we   touched   them。    But
  others were of heavier cloth; and they felt soft and new in our fingers。
  We   found   a   room   with   walls   made   of   shelves;   which   held   rows   of
  manuscripts;   from   the   floor   to   the   ceiling。  Never   had   we   seen   such   a
  number of them; nor of such strange shape。 They were not soft and rolled;
  they   had   hard   shells   of   cloth   and   leather;   and   the   letters   on   their   pages
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  were   so   small   and   so   even   that   we   wondered   at   the   men   who   had   such
  handwriting。 We   glanced   through   the   pages;   and   we   saw   that   they   were
  written   in   our   language;   but   we   found   many  words   which   we   could   not
  understand。      Tomorrow; we shall begin to read these scripts。
  When we had seen all the rooms of the house; we looked at the Golden
  One and we both knew the thought in our minds。
  〃We shall never leave this house;〃 we said; 〃nor let it be taken from us。
  This is our home and the end of our journey。 This is your house; Golden
  One; and ours; and it belongs to no other men whatever as far as the earth
  may stretch。       We shall not share it with others; as we share not our joy
  with them; nor our love; nor our hunger。 So be it to the end of our days。〃
  〃Your will be done;〃 they said。
  Then   we   went   out   to   gather   wood   for   the   great   hearth   of   our   home。
  We brought water from the stream which runs among the trees under our
  windows。        We   killed   a   mountain   goat;   and   we   brought   its   flesh   to   be
  cooked   in   a   strange   copper   pot   we   found   in   a   place   of   wonders;   which
  must have been the cooking room of the house。
  We did this work alone; for no words of ours could take the Golden
  One away from the big glass which is not glass。 They stood before it and
  they looked and looked upon their own body。
  When the sun sank beyond the mountains; the Golden One fell asleep
  on the floor; amidst jewels; and bottles of crystal; and flowers of silk。                We
  lifted the Golden One in our arms and we carried them to a bed; their head
  falling   softly   upon   our   shoulder。   Then   we   lit   a   candle;   and   we   brought
  paper from the room of the manuscripts; and we sat by the window; for we
  knew that we could not sleep tonight。
  And now we look upon the earth and sky。 This spread of naked rock
  and   peaks   and   moonlight   is   like   a   world   ready  to   be   born;   a   world   that
  waits。    It seems to us it asks a sign from us; a spark; a first commandment。
  We cannot know what word we are to give; nor what great deed this earth
  expects to witness。 We know it waits。             It seems to say it has great gifts to
  lay before us; but it wishes a greater gift for us。 We are to speak。                We are
  to give its goal; its highest meaning to all this glowing space of rock and
  sky。
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  We look ahead; we beg our heart for guidance in answering this call no
  voice has spoken; yet we have heard。           We look upon our hands。 We see
  the dust of centuries; the dust which hid the great secrets and perhaps great
  evils。 And yet it stirs no fear within our heart; but only silent reverence and
  pity。
  May     knowledge      come   to  us!   What     is  the  secret  our   heart  has
  understood and yet will not reveal to us; although it seems to beat as if it
  were endeavoring to tell it?
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  PART ELEVEN
  I am。    I think。   I will。
  My hands 。 。 。 My spirit 。 。 。 My sky 。 。 。 My forest 。 。 。 This earth of
  mine。 。 。 。 What must I say besides?          These are the words。        This is the
  answer。
  I stand here on the summit of the mountain。 I lift my head and I spread
  my arms。 This; my body and spirit; this is the end of the quest。            I wished
  to know the meaning of things。          I am the meaning。        I wished to find a
  warrant for being。      I need no warrant for being; and no word of sanction
  upon my being。       I am the warrant and the sanction。
  It is my eyes which see; and the sight of my eyes grants beauty to the
  earth。    It is my ears which hear; and the hearing of my ears gives its song
  to the world。     It is my mind which thinks; and the judgement of my mind
  is the only searchlight that can find the truth。       It is my will which chooses;
  and the choice of my will is the only edict I must respect。
  Many words have been granted me; and some are wise; and some are
  false; but only three are holy:      〃I will it!〃
  Whatever road I take; the guiding star is within me; the guiding star
  and the loadstone which point the way。           They point in but one direction。
  They point to me。
  I know not if this earth on which I stand is the core of the universe or
  if it is but a speck of dust lost in eternity。    I know not and I care not。       For
  I   know   what   happiness   is   possible   to   me   on   earth。 And   my   happiness
  needs no higher aim to vindicate it。 My happiness is not the means to any
  end。 It is the end。    It is its own goal。 It is its own purpose。
  Neither am I the means to any end others may wish to accomplish。                 I
  am not a tool for their use。      I am not a servant of their needs。       I am not a
  bandage for their wounds。 I am not a sacrifice on their altars。
  I am a man。       This miracle of me is mine to own and keep; and mine
  to guard; and mine to use; and mine to kneel before!
  I do not surrender my treasures; nor do I share them。             The fortune of
  my spirit is not to be blown into coins of brass and flung to the winds as
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  alms for the poor of the spirit。        I guard my treasures: my thought; my will;
  my freedom。 And the greatest of these is freedom。
  I owe nothing to my brothers; nor do I gather debts from them。                    I ask
  none to live for me; nor do I live for any others。 I covet no man's soul; nor
  is my soul thei