第 9 节
作者:
老是不进球 更新:2024-04-07 11:51 字数:9322
removing all traces of the disaster。
I fancy I felt a certain relief in the knowledge that there would now be
no necessity to tell my pitiful story and risk the loss of my neighbours'
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esteem。
By…and…by; I thought; I would plant a rose…tree over his remains; and
some day; as Lilian and I; in the noontide of our domestic bliss; stood
before it admiring its creamy luxuriance; I might (perhaps) find courage to
confess that the tree owed some of that luxuriance to the long…lost Bingo。
There was a touch of poetry in this idea that lightened my gloom for
the moment。
I need scarcely say that I did not go round to Shuturgarden that
evening。 I was not hardened enough for that yet; my manner might betray
me; and so I very prudently stayed at home。
But that night my sleep was broken by frightful dreams。 I was
perpetually trying to bury a great; gaunt poodle; which would persist in
rising up through the damp mould as fast as I covered him up。 。 。 。 Lilian
and I were engaged; and we were in church together on Sunday; and the
poodle; resisting all attempts to eject him; forbade our bans with
sepulchral barks。 。 。 。 It was our wedding…day; and at the critical moment
the poodle leaped between us and swallowed the ring。 。 。 。 Or we were at
the wedding…breakfast; and Bingo; a grisly black skeleton with flaming
eyes; sat on the cake and would not allow Lilian to cut it。 Even the rose…
tree fancy was reproduced in a distorted formthe tree grew; and every
blossom contained a miniature Bingo; which barked; and as I woke I was
desperately trying to persuade the colonel that they were ordinary dog…
roses。
I went up to the office next day with my gloomy secret gnawing my
bosom; and; whatever I did; the spectre of the murdered poodle rose
before me。 For two days after that I dared not go near the Curries; until at
last one evening after dinner I forced myself to call; feeling that it was
really not safe to keep away any longer。
My conscience smote me as I went in。 I put on an unconscious; easy
manner; which was such a dismal failure that it was lucky for me that they
were too much engrossed to notice it。
I never before saw a family so stricken down by a domestic misfortune
as the group I found in the drawing…room; making a dejected pretence of
reading or working。 We talked at firstand hollow talk it wason
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indifferent subjects; till I could bear it no longer; and plunged boldly into
danger。
〃I don't see the dog;〃 I began; 〃I suppose youyou found him all right
the other evening; colonel?〃 I wondered; as I spoke; whether they would
not notice the break in my voice; but they did not。
〃Why; the fact is;〃 said the colonel; heavily; gnawing his gray
moustache; 〃we've not heard anything of him since; he'she's run off!〃
〃Gone; Mr。 Weatherhead; gone without a word!〃 said Mrs。 Currie;
plaintively; as if she thought the dog might at least have left an address。
〃I wouldn't have believed it of him;〃 said the colonel; 〃it has
completely knocked me over。 Haven't been so cut up for yearsthe
ungrateful rascal!〃
〃O uncle!〃 pleaded Lilian; 〃don't talk like that; perhaps Bingo couldn't
help itperhaps some one has s…s…shot him!〃
〃Shot!〃 cried the colonel; angrily。 〃By heaven! if I thought there was a
villain on earth capable of shooting that poor inoffensive dog; I'd Why
/should/ they shoot him; Lilian? Tell me that! II hope you won't let me
hear you talk like that again。 /You/ don't think he's shot; eh; Weatherhead?〃
I saidHeaven forgive me!that I thought it highly improbable。
〃He's not dead!〃 cried Mrs。 Currie。 〃If he were dead I should know it
somehowI'm sure I should! But I'm certain he's alive。 Only last night I
had such a beautiful dream about him。 I thought he came back to us; Mr。
Weatherhead; driving up in a hansom…cab; and he was just the same as
everonly he wore blue spectacles; and the shaved part of him was painted
a bright red。 And I woke up with the joyso; you know; it's sure to come
true!〃
It will be easily understood what torture conversations like these were
to me; and how I hated myself as I sympathised and spoke encouraging
words concerning the dog's recovery; when I knew all the time he was
lying hid under my garden mould。 But I took it as a part of my punishment;
and bore it all uncomplainingly; practice even made me an adept in the art
of consolationI believe I really was a great comfort to them。
I had hoped that they would soon get over the first bitterness of their
loss; and that Bingo would be first replaced and then forgotten in the usual
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way; but there seemed no signs of this coming to pass。
The poor colonel was too plainly fretting himself ill about it; he went
pottering about forlornly; advertising; searching; and seeing people; but all;
of course; to no purpose; and it told upon him。 He was more like a man
whose only son and heir had been stolen than an Anglo…Indian officer who
had lost a poodle。 I had to affect the liveliest interest in all his inquiries
and expeditions; and to listen to and echo the most extravagant eulogies of
the departed; and the wear and tear of so much duplicity made me at last
almost as ill as the colonel himself。
I could not help seeing that Lilian was not nearly so much impressed
by my elaborate concern as her relatives; and sometimes I detected an
incredulous look in her frank brown eyes that made me very uneasy。 Little
by little; a rift widened between us; until at last in despair I determined to
know the worst before the time came when it would be hopeless to speak
at all。 I chose a Sunday evening as we were walking across the green from
church in the golden dusk; and then I ventured to speak to her of my love。
She heard me to the end; and was evidently very much agitated。 At last she
murmured that it could not be; unless no; it never could be now。
〃Unless; what?〃 I asked。 〃LilianMiss Roseblade; something has
come between us lately; you will tell me what that something is; won't
you?〃
〃Do you want to know /really/?〃 she said; looking up at me through
her tears。 〃Then I'll tell you; itit's Bingo!〃
I started back overwhelmed。 Did she know all? If not; how much did
she suspect? I must find out that at once。 〃What about Bingo?〃 I managed
to pronounce; with a dry tongue。
〃You never l…loved him when he was here;〃 she sobbed; 〃you know
you didn't!〃
I was relieved to find it was no worse than this。
〃No;〃 I said; candidly; 〃I did not love Bingo。 Bingo didn't love /me/;
Lilian; he was always looking out for a chance of nipping me somewhere。
Surely you won't quarrel with me for that!〃
〃Not for that;〃 she said; 〃only; why do you pretend to be so fond of
him now; and so anxious to get him back again? Uncle John believes you;
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but /I/ don't。 I can see quite well that you wouldn't be glad to find him。 You
could find him easily if you wanted to!〃
〃What do you mean; Lilian?〃 I said; hoarsely。 〃/How/ could I find
him?〃 Again I feared the worst。
〃You're in a government office;〃 cried Lilian; 〃and if you only chose;
you could easily g…get g…government to find Bingo! What's the use of
government if it can't do that? Mr。 Travers would have found him long ago
if I'd asked him!〃
Lilian had never been so childishly unreasonable as this before; and
yet I loved her more madly than ever; but I did not like this allusion to
Travers; a rising barrister; who lived with his sister in a pretty cottage near
the station; and had shown symptoms of being attracted by Lilian。
He was away on circuit just then; luckily; but; at least; even he would
have found it a hard task to find Bingothere was comfort in that。
〃You know that isn't just; Lilian;〃 I observe