第 9 节
作者:老是不进球      更新:2024-04-07 11:51      字数:9322
  removing all traces of the disaster。
  I fancy I felt a certain relief in the knowledge that there would now be
  no   necessity   to   tell   my   pitiful   story  and   risk   the   loss   of   my   neighbours'
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  esteem。
  By…and…by; I thought; I would plant a rose…tree over his remains; and
  some   day;   as   Lilian   and   I;   in   the   noontide   of   our   domestic   bliss;   stood
  before it admiring its creamy luxuriance; I might (perhaps) find courage to
  confess that the tree owed some of that luxuriance to the long…lost Bingo。
  There was a touch of poetry in this idea that lightened my gloom for
  the moment。
  I  need    scarcely   say   that   I  did  not  go   round    to  Shuturgarden      that
  evening。 I was not hardened enough for that yet; my manner might betray
  me; and so I very prudently stayed at home。
  But    that   night   my   sleep    was   broken     by   frightful   dreams。    I  was
  perpetually  trying   to   bury  a   great;   gaunt   poodle;   which   would   persist   in
  rising up through the damp mould as fast as I covered him up。 。 。 。 Lilian
  and I were engaged; and we were in church together on Sunday; and the
  poodle;     resisting    all  attempts     to  eject   him;    forbade    our    bans   with
  sepulchral barks。 。 。 。 It was our wedding…day; and at the critical moment
  the poodle leaped between us and swallowed the ring。 。 。 。 Or we were at
  the   wedding…breakfast;   and   Bingo;   a   grisly   black   skeleton   with   flaming
  eyes; sat on the cake and would not allow Lilian to cut it。 Even the rose…
  tree   fancy   was   reproduced   in   a   distorted   formthe   tree   grew;   and   every
  blossom contained a miniature Bingo; which barked; and as I woke I was
  desperately   trying   to   persuade   the   colonel   that   they   were   ordinary   dog…
  roses。
  I went up to the office next day with my gloomy secret gnawing my
  bosom;      and;   whatever   I   did;   the  spectre   of   the   murdered    poodle    rose
  before me。 For two days after that I dared not go near the Curries; until at
  last   one   evening   after   dinner   I   forced   myself   to   call;   feeling   that   it   was
  really not safe to keep away any longer。
  My conscience smote me as I went in。 I put on an unconscious; easy
  manner; which was such a dismal failure that it was lucky for me that they
  were too much engrossed to notice it。
  I never before saw a family so stricken down by a domestic misfortune
  as the group I found in the drawing…room; making a dejected pretence of
  reading     or   working。     We    talked   at   firstand   hollow     talk  it  wason
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  indifferent subjects; till I could bear it no longer; and plunged boldly into
  danger。
  〃I don't see the dog;〃 I began; 〃I suppose youyou found him all right
  the other evening; colonel?〃 I wondered; as I spoke; whether they would
  not notice the break in my voice; but they did not。
  〃Why;     the   fact   is;〃  said  the   colonel;    heavily;   gnawing      his  gray
  moustache; 〃we've not heard anything of him since; he'she's run off!〃
  〃Gone;   Mr。   Weatherhead;   gone   without   a   word!〃   said   Mrs。   Currie;
  plaintively; as if she thought the dog might at least have left an address。
  〃I   wouldn't     have   believed     it  of  him;〃   said   the   colonel;    〃it  has
  completely      knocked     me    over。   Haven't    been   so   cut  up   for  yearsthe
  ungrateful rascal!〃
  〃O uncle!〃 pleaded Lilian; 〃don't talk like that; perhaps Bingo couldn't
  help itperhaps some one has s…s…shot him!〃
  〃Shot!〃 cried the colonel; angrily。 〃By heaven! if I thought there was a
  villain on earth capable of shooting that poor inoffensive dog; I'd Why
  /should/ they shoot him; Lilian? Tell me that! II hope you won't let me
  hear you talk like that again。 /You/ don't think he's shot; eh; Weatherhead?〃
  I saidHeaven forgive me!that I thought it highly improbable。
  〃He's not dead!〃 cried Mrs。 Currie。 〃If he were dead I should know it
  somehowI'm sure I should! But I'm certain he's alive。 Only last night I
  had such a beautiful dream about him。 I thought he came back to us; Mr。
  Weatherhead;   driving   up   in   a   hansom…cab;   and   he   was   just   the   same   as
  everonly he wore blue spectacles; and the shaved part of him was painted
  a bright red。 And I woke up with the joyso; you know; it's sure to come
  true!〃
  It will be easily understood what torture conversations like these were
  to me; and how  I hated myself as   I sympathised and spoke   encouraging
  words   concerning   the   dog's   recovery;   when   I   knew   all   the   time   he   was
  lying hid under my garden mould。 But I took it as a part of my punishment;
  and bore it all uncomplainingly; practice even made me an adept in the art
  of consolationI believe I really was a great comfort to them。
  I had hoped that they would soon get over the first bitterness of their
  loss; and that Bingo would be first replaced and then forgotten in the usual
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  way; but there seemed no signs of this coming to pass。
  The poor colonel was too plainly fretting himself ill about it; he went
  pottering about forlornly; advertising; searching; and seeing people; but all;
  of course; to no purpose; and it told upon him。 He was more like a man
  whose only son and heir had been stolen than an Anglo…Indian officer who
  had lost a poodle。 I had to affect the liveliest interest in all his inquiries
  and expeditions; and to listen to and echo the most extravagant eulogies of
  the departed; and the wear and tear of so much duplicity made me at last
  almost as ill as the colonel himself。
  I could not help seeing that Lilian was not nearly so much impressed
  by   my   elaborate   concern   as   her   relatives;   and   sometimes   I   detected   an
  incredulous look in her frank brown eyes that made me very uneasy。 Little
  by little; a rift widened between us; until at last in despair I determined to
  know the worst before the time came when it would be hopeless to speak
  at all。 I chose a Sunday evening as we were walking across the green from
  church in the golden dusk; and then I ventured to speak to her of my love。
  She heard me to the end; and was evidently very much agitated。 At last she
  murmured that it could not be; unless no; it never could be now。
  〃Unless;     what?〃    I  asked。   〃LilianMiss     Roseblade;     something     has
  come   between   us   lately;   you   will   tell   me   what   that   something   is;   won't
  you?〃
  〃Do you want to know /really/?〃 she said; looking up at me through
  her tears。 〃Then I'll tell you; itit's Bingo!〃
  I started back overwhelmed。 Did she know all? If not; how much did
  she suspect? I must find out that at once。 〃What about Bingo?〃 I managed
  to pronounce; with a dry tongue。
  〃You never   l…loved him  when   he   was   here;〃   she sobbed;   〃you   know
  you didn't!〃
  I was relieved to find it was no worse than this。
  〃No;〃 I said; candidly; 〃I did not love Bingo。 Bingo didn't love /me/;
  Lilian; he was always looking out for a chance of nipping me somewhere。
  Surely you won't quarrel with me for that!〃
  〃Not for that;〃 she said; 〃only; why do you pretend to be so fond of
  him now; and so anxious to get him back again? Uncle John believes you;
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  but /I/ don't。 I can see quite well that you wouldn't be glad to find him。 You
  could find him easily if you wanted to!〃
  〃What   do   you   mean;   Lilian?〃   I   said;   hoarsely。   〃/How/   could   I   find
  him?〃 Again I feared the worst。
  〃You're in a government office;〃 cried Lilian; 〃and if you only chose;
  you   could   easily   g…get   g…government   to   find   Bingo!   What's   the   use   of
  government if it can't do that? Mr。 Travers would have found him long ago
  if I'd asked him!〃
  Lilian   had   never   been   so   childishly  unreasonable   as   this   before;   and
  yet I loved her more  madly than   ever; but   I did not like  this allusion to
  Travers; a rising barrister; who lived with his sister in a pretty cottage near
  the station; and had shown symptoms of being attracted by Lilian。
  He was away on circuit just then; luckily; but; at least; even he would
  have found it a hard task to find Bingothere was comfort in that。
  〃You know that isn't just; Lilian;〃 I observe