l　equal　in　extent；　　nor　in　quality　of　soil；　nor　in　growth　of　population；　nor　will　　the　surplus　produce　of　all　be　equally　marketable。　　It　will　be　　the　old　story　of　competing　interests；　only　with　a　new　unit；　　and；　as　it　appears　to　me；　a　new；　inevitable　danger。　　For　the　　merchant　and　the　manufacturer；　in　this　new　world；　will　be　a　　sovereign　commune；　it　is　a　sovereign　power　that　will　see　its　　crops　undersold；　and　its　manufactures　worsted　in　the　market。　　　And　all　the　more　dangerous　that　the　sovereign　power　should　be　　small。　　Great　powers　are　slow　to　stir；　national　affronts；　　even　with　the　aid　of　newspapers；　filter　slowly　into　popular　　consciousness；　national　losses　are　so　unequally　shared；　that　　one　part　of　the　population　will　be　counting　its　gains　while　　another　sits　by　a　cold　hearth。　　But　in　the　sovereign　commune　　all　will　be　centralised　and　sensitive。　　When　jealousy　springs　　up；　when　（let　us　say）　the　commune　of　Poole　has　overreached　　the　commune　of　Dorchester；　irritation　will　run　like　　quicksilver　throughout　the　body　politic；　each　man　in　　Dorchester　will　have　to　suffer　directly　in　his　diet　and　his　　dress；　even　the　secretary；　who　drafts　the　official　　correspondence；　will　sit　down　to　his　task　embittered；　as　a　　man　who　has　dined　ill　and　may　expect　to　dine　worse；　and　thus　　a　business　difference　between　communes　will　take　on　much　the　　same　colour　as　a　dispute　between　diggers　in　the　lawless　West；　　and　will　lead　as　directly　to　the　arbitrament　of　blows。　　So　　that　the　establishment　of　the　communal　system　will　not　only　　reintroduce　all　the　injustices　and　heart…burnings　of　economic　　inequality；　but　will；　in　all　human　likelihood；　inaugurate　a　　world　of　hedgerow　warfare。　　Dorchester　will　march　on　Poole；　　Sherborne　on　Dorchester；　Wimborne　on　both；　the　waggons　will　　be　fired　on　as　they　follow　the　highway；　the　trains　wrecked　on　　the　lines；　the　ploughman　will　go　armed　into　the　field　of　　tillage；　and　if　we　have　not　a　return　of　ballad　literature；　　the　local　press　at　least　will　celebrate　in　a　high　vein　the　　victory　of　Cerne　Abbas　or　the　reverse　of　Toller　Porcorum。　　At　　least　this　will　not　be　dull；　when　I　was　younger；　I　could　have　　welcomed　such　a　world　with　relief；　but　it　is　the　New…Old　with　　a　vengeance；　and　irresistibly　suggests　the　growth　of　military　　powers　and　the　foundation　of　new　empires。
  COLLEGE　PAPERS　CHAPTER　I　…　EDINBURGH　STUDENTS　IN　1824
  ON　the　2nd　of　January　1824　was　issued　the　prospectus　of　the　　LAPSUS　LINGUAE；　OR；　THE　COLLEGE　TATLER；　and　on　the　7th　the　　first　number　appeared。　　On　Friday　the　2nd　of　April　'MR。　　TATLER　became　speechless。'　　Its　history　was　not　all　one　　success；　for　the　editor　（who　applies　to　himself　the　words　of　　Iago；　'I　am　nothing　if　I　am　not　critical'）　overstepped　the　　bounds　of　caution；　and　found　himself　seriously　embroiled　with　　the　powers　that　were。　　There　appeared　in　No。　XVI。　a　most　　bitter　satire　upon　Sir　John　Leslie；　in　which　he　was　compared　　to　Falstaff；　charged　with　puffing　himself；　and　very　prettily　　censured　for　publishing　only　the　first　volume　of　a　class…　book；　and　making　all　purchasers　pay　for　both。　　Sir　John　　Leslie　took　up　the　matter　angrily；　visited　Carfrae　the　　publisher；　and　threatened　him　with　an　action；　till　he　was　　forced　to　turn　the　hapless　LAPSUS　out　of　doors。　　The　　maltreated　periodical　found　shelter　in　the　shop　of　Huie；　　Infirmary　Street；　and　No。　XVII。　was　duly　issued　from　the　new　　office。　　No。　XVII。　beheld　MR。　TATLER'S　humiliation；　in　which；　　with　fulsome　apology　and　not　very　credible　assurances　of　　respect　and　admiration；　he　disclaims　the　article　in　question；　　and　advertises　a　new　issue　of　No。　XVI。　with　all　objectionable　　matter　omitted。　　This；　with　pleasing　euphemism；　he　terms　in　a　　later　advertisement；　'a　new　and　improved　edition。'　　This　was　　the　only　remarkable　adventure　of　MR。　TATLER'S　brief　　existence；　unless　we　consider　as　such　a　silly　Chaldee　　manuscript　in　imitation　of　BLACKWOOD；　and　a　letter　of　reproof　　from　a　divinity　student　on　the　impiety　of　the　same　dull　　effusion。　　He　laments　the　near　approach　of　his　end　in　　pathetic　terms。　　'How　shall　we　summon　up　sufficient　courage；'　　says　he；　'to　look　for　the　last　time　on　our　beloved　little　　devil　and　his　inestimable　proof…sheet？　　How　shall　we　be　able　　to　pass　No。　14　Infirmary　Street　and　feel　that　all　its　　attractions　are　over？　　How　shall　we　bid　farewell　for　ever　to　　that　excellent　man；　with　the　long　greatcoat；　wooden　leg　and　　wooden　board；　who　acts　as　our　representative　at　the　gate　of　　ALMA　MATER？'　　But　alas！　he　had　no　choice：　MR。　TATLER；　whose　　career；　he　says　himself；　had　been　successful；　passed　　peacefully　away；　and　has　ever　since　dumbly　implored　'the　　bringing　home　of　bell　and　burial。'
  ALTER　ET　IDEM。　　A　very　different　affair　was　the　LAPSUS　　LINGUAE　from　the　EDINBURGH　UNIVERSITY　MAGAZINE。　　The　two　　prospectuses　alone；　laid　side　by　side；　would　indicate　the　　march　of　luxury　and　the　repeal　of　the　paper　duty。　　The　penny　　bi…weekly　broadside　of　session　1828…4　was　almost　wholly　　dedicated　to　Momus。　　Epigrams；　pointless　letters；　amorous　　verses；　and　University　grievances　are　the　continual　burthen　　of　the　song。　　But　MR。　TATLER　was　not　without　a　vein　of　hearty　　humour；　and　his　pages　afford　what　is　much　better：　to　wit；　a　　good　picture　of　student　life　as　it　then　was。　　The　students　of　　those　polite　days　insisted　on　retaining　their　hats　in　the　　class…room。　　There　was　a　cab…stance　in　front　of　the　College；　　and　'Carriage　Entrance'　was　posted　above　the　main　arch；　on　　what　the　writer　pleases　to　call　'coarse；　unclassic　boards。'　　　The　benches　of　the　'Speculative'　then；　as　now；　were　red；　but　　all　other　Societies　（the　'Dialectic'　is　the　only　survivor）　　met　downstairs；　in　some　rooms　of　which　it　is　pointedly　said　　that　'nothing　else　could　conveniently　be　made　of　them。'　　　However　horrible　these　dungeons　may　have　been；　it　is　certain　　that　they　were　paid　for；　and　that　far　too　heavily　for　the　　taste　of　session　1823…4；　which　found　enough　calls　upon　its　　purse　for　porter　and　toasted　cheese　at　Ambrose's；　or　　cranberry　tarts　and　ginger…wine　at　Doull's。　　Duelling　was　　still　a　possibility；　so　much　so　that　when　two　medicals　fell　　to　fisticuffs　in　Adam　Square；　it　was　seriously　hinted　that　　single　combat　would　be　the　result。　　Last　and　most　wonderful　　of　all；　Gall　and　Spurzheim　were　in　every　one's　mouth；　and　the　　Law　student；　after　having　exhausted　Byron's　poetry　and　　Scott's　novels；　informed　the　ladies　of　his　belief　in　　phrenology。　　In　the　present　day　he　would　dilate　on　'Red　as　a　　rose　is　she；'　and　then　mention　that　he　attends　Old　　Greyfriars'；　as　a　tacit　claim　to　intellectual　superiority。　　I　　do　not　know　that　the　advance　is　much。
  But　MR。　TATLER'S　best　performances　were　three　short　papers　in　　which　he　hit　off　pretty　smartly　the　idiosyncrasies　of　the　　'DIVINITY；'　the　'MEDICAL；'　and　the　'LAW'　of　session　1823…4。　　　The　fact　that　there　was　no　notice　of　the　'ARTS'　seems　to　　suggest　that　they　stood　in　the　same　intermediate　position　as　　they　do　now　…　the　epitome　of　student…kind。　　MR。　TATLER'S　　satire　is；　on　the　whole；　good…humoured；　and　has　not　grown　　superannuated　in　ALL　its　limbs。　　His　descriptions　may　limp　at　　some　points；　but　there　are　certain　broad　traits　that　apply　　equally　well　to　session　1870…1。　　He　shows　us　the　DIVINITY　of　　the　period　…　tall；　pale；　and　slender　…　his　collar　greasy；　and　　his　coat　bare　about　the　seams　…　'his　white　neckcloth　serving　　four　days；　and　regularly　turned　the　third'　…　'the　rim　of　his　　hat　deficient　in　wool'　…　and　'a　weighty　volume　of　theology　　under　his　arm。'　He　was　the　man　to　buy　cheap　'a　snuff…box；　or　　a　dozen　of　pencils；　or　a　six…bladed　knife；　or　a　quarter　of　a　　hundred　quills；'　at　any　of　the　public　sale…rooms。　　He　was　　noted　for　cheap　purchases；　and　for　exceeding　the　legal　tender　　in　halfpence。　　He　haunted　'the　darkest　and　remotest　corner　of　　the　Theatre　Gallery。'　　He　was　to　be　seen　issuing　from　'aerial　　lodging…houses。'　　Withal；　says　mine　author；　'there　were　many　　good　points　about　him：　he　paid　his　landlady's　bill；　read　his　　Bible；　went　twice　to　church　on　Sunday；　seldom　swore；　was　not　　often　tipsy；　and　bought　the　LAPSUS　LINGUAE。'
  The　MEDICAL；　again；　'wore　a　white　greatcoat；　and　consequently　　talked　loud'　…　（there　is　something　very　delicious　in　that　　CONSEQUENTLY）。　　He　wore　his　hat　on　one　side。　　He　was　active；　　volatile；　and　went　to　the　top　of　Arthur's　Seat　on　the　Sunday　　forenoon。　　He　was　as　quiet　in　a　debating　society　as　he　was　　loud　in　the　streets。　　He　was　reckless　and　imprudent：　　yesterday　he　insisted　on　your　sharing　a　bottle　of　claret　with　　him　（and　claret　was　claret　then；　before　the　cheap…and…nasty　　treaty）；　and　to…morrow　he　asks　you　for　the　loan　of　a　penny　to　　buy　the　last　number　of　the　LAPSUS。
  The　student　of　LAW；　again；　was　a　learned　man。　　'He　had　turned　　over　the　leaves　of　Justinian's　INSTITUTES；　and　knew　that　they　　were　written　in　Latin。　　He　was　well　acquainted　with　the　　title…page　of　Blackstone's　COMMENTARIES；　and　ARGAL　（as　the　　gravedigger　in　HAMLET　says）　he　was　not　a　person　to　be　laughed　　at。'　　He　attended　the　Parliament　House　in　the　character　of　a　　critic；　and　could　give　you　stale　sneers　at　all　the　celebrated　　speakers。　　He　was　the　terror　of　essayists　at　the　Speculative　　or　the　Forensic。　　In　social　qualities　he　seems　to　have　stood　　unrivalled。　　Even　in　the　police…office　we　find　him　shining　　with　undiminished　lustre。　　'I