第 19 节
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him; who; having deprived me of every other comfort; no longer thinks it
worth his while to sooth the heart where he has planted the thorn of never…
ceasing regret。 My daily employment is to think of you and weep; to pray
for your happiness and deplore my own folly: my nights are scarce more
happy; for if by chance I close my weary eyes; and hope some small
forgetfulness of sorrow; some little time to pass in sweet oblivion; fancy;
still waking; wafts me home to you: I see your beloved forms; I kneel and
hear the blessed words of peace and pardon。 Extatic joy pervades my soul;
I reach my arms to catch your dear embraces; the motion chases the
illusive dream; I wake to real misery。 At other times I see my father angry
and frowning; point to horrid caves; where; on the cold damp ground; in
the agonies of death; I see my dear mother and my revered grand…father。 I
strive to raise you; you push me from you; and shrieking cry〃Charlotte;
thou hast murdered me!〃 Horror and despair tear every tortured nerve; I
start; and leave my restless bed; weary and unrefreshed。
〃Shocking as these reflexions are; I have yet one more dreadful than
the rest。 Mother; my dear mother! do not let me quite break your heart
when I tell you; in a few months I shall bring into the world an innocent
witness of my guilt。 Oh my bleeding heart; I shall bring a poor little
helpless creature; heir to infamy and shame。
〃This alone has urged me once more to address you; to interest you in
behalf of this poor unborn; and beg you to extend your protection to the
child of your lost Charlotte; for my own part I have wrote so often; so
frequently have pleaded for forgiveness; and entreated to be received once
more beneath the paternal roof; that having received no answer; not even
one line; I much fear you have cast me from you for ever。
〃But sure you cannot refuse to protect my innocent infant: it partakes
not of its mother's guilt。 Oh my father; oh beloved mother; now do I feel
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the anguish I inflicted on your hearts recoiling with double force upon my
own。
〃If my child should be a girl (which heaven forbid) tell her the
unhappy fate of her mother; and teach her to avoid my errors; if a boy;
teach him to lament my miseries; but tell him not who inflicted them; lest
in wishing to revenge his mother's injuries; he should wound the peace of
his father。
〃And now; dear friends of my soul; kind guardians of my infancy;
farewell。 I feel I never more must hope to see you; the anguish of my heart
strikes at the strings of life; and in a short time I shall be at rest。 Oh could I
but receive your blessing and forgiveness before I died; it would smooth
my passage to the peaceful grave; and be a blessed foretaste of a happy
eternity。 I beseech you; curse me not; my adored parents; but let a tear of
pity and pardon fall to the memory of your lost CHARLOTTE。
CHAPTER XXIII。
A MAN MAY SMILE; AND SMILE; AND BE A VILLAIN。
WHILE Charlotte was enjoying some small degree of comfort in the
consoling friendship of Mrs。 Beauchamp; Montraville was advancing
rapidly in his affection towards Miss Franklin。 Julia was an amiable girl;
she saw only the fair side of his character; she possessed an independent
fortune; and resolved to be happy with the man of her heart; though his
rank and fortune were by no means so exalted as she had a right to expect;
she saw the passion which Montraville struggled to conceal; she wondered
at his timidity; but imagined the distance fortune had placed between them
occasioned his backwardness; and made every advance which strict
prudence and a becoming modesty would permit。 Montraville saw with
pleasure he was not indifferent to her; but a spark of honour which
animated his bosom would not suffer him to take advantage of her
partiality。 He was well acquainted with Charlotte's situation; and he
thought there would be a double cruelty in forsaking her at such a time;
and to marry Miss Franklin; while honour; humanity; every sacred law;
obliged him still to protect and support Charlotte; was a baseness which
his soul shuddered at。
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He communicated his uneasiness to Belcour: it was the very thing this
pretended friend had wished。 〃And do you really;〃 said he; laughing;
〃hesitate at marrying the lovely Julia; and becoming master of her fortune;
because a little foolish; fond girl chose to leave her friends; and run away
with you to America。 Dear Montraville; act more like a man of sense; this
whining; pining Charlotte; who occasions you so much uneasiness; would
have eloped with somebody else if she had not with you。〃
〃Would to heaven;〃 said Montraville; 〃I had never seen her; my regard
for her was but the momentary passion of desire; but I feel I shall love and
revere Julia Franklin as long as I live; yet to leave poor Charlotte in her
present situation would be cruel beyond description。〃
〃Oh my good sentimental friend;〃 said Belcour; 〃do you imagine no
body has a right to provide for the brat but yourself。〃
Montraville started。 〃Sure;〃 said he; 〃you cannot mean to insinuate that
Charlotte is false。〃
〃I don't insinuate it;〃 said Belcour; 〃I know it。〃
Montraville turned pale as ashes。 〃Then there is no faith in woman;〃
said he。
〃While I thought you attached to her;〃 said Belcour with an air of
indifference; 〃I never wished to make you uneasy by mentioning her
perfidy; but as I know you love and are beloved by Miss Franklin; I was
determined not to let these foolish scruples of honour step between you
and happiness; or your tenderness for the peace of a perfidious girl prevent
your uniting yourself to a woman of honour。〃
〃Good heavens!〃 said Montraville; 〃what poignant reflections does a
man endure who sees a lovely woman plunged in infamy; and is conscious
he was her first seducer; but are you certain of what you say; Belcour?〃
〃So far;〃 replied he; 〃that I myself have received advances from her
which I would not take advantage of out of regard to you: but hang it;
think no more about her。 I dined at Franklin's to…day; and Julia bid me seek
and bring you to tea: so come along; my lad; make good use of
opportunity; and seize the gifts of fortune while they are within your
reach。〃 Montraville was too much agitated to pass a happy evening even in
the company of Julia Franklin: he determined to visit Charlotte early the
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next morning; tax her with her falsehood; and take an everlasting leave of
her; but when the morning came; he was commanded on duty; and for six
weeks was prevented from putting his design in execution。 At length he
found an hour to spare; and walked out to spend it with Charlotte: it was
near four o'clock in the afternoon when he arrived at her cottage; she was
not in the parlour; and without calling the servant he walked up stairs;
thinking to find her in her bed room。 He opened the door; and the first
object that met his eyes was Charlotte asleep on the bed; and Belcour by
her side。
〃Death and distraction;〃 said he; stamping; 〃this is too much。 Rise;
villain; and defend yourself。〃 Belcour sprang from the bed。 The noise
awoke Charlotte; terrified at the furious appearance of Montraville; and
seeing Belcour with him in the chamber; she caught hold of his arm as he
stood by the bed…side; and eagerly asked what was the matter。
〃Treacherous; infamous girl;〃 said he; 〃can you ask? How came he
here?〃 pointing to Belcour。
〃As heaven is my witness;〃 replied she weeping; 'I do not know。 I have
not seen him for these three weeks。〃
〃Then you confess he sometimes visits you?〃
〃He came sometimes by your desire。〃
〃'Tis false; I never desired him to come; and you know I did not: but
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