第 18 节
作者:闲来一看      更新:2024-01-16 22:40      字数:9322
  noticing   her   embarrassment。   〃I   am   come;   Madam;〃   continued   she;   〃to
  request you will spend the day with me。 I shall be alone; and; as we are
  both   strangers   in   this   country;   we   may   hereafter   be   extremely   happy   in
  each other's friendship。〃
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  〃Your   friendship;  Madam;〃   said   Charlotte  blushing;   〃is   an   honour   to
  all who are favoured with it。 Little as I have seen of this part of the world;
  I   am   no   stranger   to  Mrs。   Beauchamp's      goodness     of   heart  and   known
  humanity: but my friendship〃 She paused; glanced her eye upon her own
  visible situation; and; spite of her endeavours to suppress them; burst into
  tears。
  Mrs。 Beauchamp guessed the source from whence those tears flowed。
  〃You seem unhappy; Madam;〃 said she: 〃shall I be thought worthy your
  confidence? will you entrust me with the cause of your sorrow; and rest on
  my assurances to exert my utmost power to serve you。〃 Charlotte returned
  a look of gratitude; but could not speak; and Mrs。 Beauchamp continued
  〃My heart was interested in your behalf the first moment I saw you; and I
  only lament I had not made earlier overtures towards an acquaintance; but
  I flatter myself you will henceforth consider me as your friend。〃
  〃Oh Madam!〃 cried Charlotte; 〃I have forfeited the good opinion of all
  my friends; I have forsaken them; and undone myself。〃
  〃Come; come; my dear;〃 said Mrs。 Beauchamp; 〃you must not indulge
  these gloomy  thoughts:   you   are not   I  hope  so  miserable  as   you   imagine
  yourself:   endeavour   to   be   composed;   and   let   me   be   favoured   with   your
  company at dinner; when; if you can bring yourself to think me your friend;
  and repose a confidence in me; I am ready to convince you it shall not be
  abused。〃 She then arose; and bade her good morning。
  At the dining hour Charlotte repaired to Mrs。 Beauchamp's; and during
  dinner assumed as composed an aspect as possible; but when the cloth was
  removed; she summoned all her resolution and determined to make Mrs。
  Beauchamp acquainted with every circumstance preceding her unfortunate
  elopement;      and   the   earnest   desire   she   had   to  quit   a  way   of   life  so
  repugnant to her feelings。
  With the benignant aspect of an angel of mercy did Mrs。 Beauchamp
  listen to the artless tale: she was shocked to the soul to find how large a
  share   La   Rue   had   in   the   seduction   of   this   amiable   girl;   and   a   tear   fell;
  when she reflected so vile a woman was now the wife of her father。 When
  Charlotte had   finished;  she gave  her  a little   time   to   collect   her scattered
  spirits; and then asked her if she had never written to her friends。
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  〃Oh yes; Madam;〃 said she; 〃frequently: but I have broke their hearts:
  they are either dead or have cast me off for ever; for I have never received
  a single line from them。 〃
  〃I   rather   suspect;〃   said   Mrs。   Beauchamp;  〃they  have never   had   your
  letters: but suppose you were to hear from them; and they were willing to
  receive   you;   would   you   then   leave   this   cruel   Montraville;   and   return   to
  them?〃
  〃Would   I!〃   said   Charlotte;   clasping   her   hands;   〃would   not   the   poor
  sailor; tost on a tempestuous ocean; threatened every moment with death;
  gladly return to the shore he had left to trust to its deceitful calmness? Oh;
  my dear Madam; I would return; though to do it I were obliged to walk
  barefoot over a burning desart; and beg a scanty pittance of each traveller
  to support my existence。 I would endure it all chearfully; could I but once
  more   see   my   dear;   blessed   mother;   hear   her   pronounce   my   pardon;   and
  bless me before I died; but alas! I shall never see her more; she has blotted
  the   ungrateful   Charlotte   from   her   remembrance;   and   I   shall   sink   to   the
  grave loaded with her's and my father's curse。〃
  Mrs。 Beauchamp endeavoured to sooth her。 〃You shall write to them
  again;〃 said she; 〃and I will see that the letter is sent by the first packet
  that   sails   for   England;   in   the   mean   time   keep   up   your   spirits;   and   hope
  every thing; by daring to deserve it。〃
  She then turned the conversation; and Charlotte having taken a cup of
  tea; wished her benevolent friend a good evening。
  CHAPTER XXII。
  SORROWS OF THE HEART。
  WHEN Charlotte  got   home   she  endeavoured  to   collect   her  thoughts;
  and took up a pen in order to address those dear parents; whom; spite of
  her errors; she still loved with the utmost tenderness; but vain was every
  effort to write with the least coherence; her tears fell so fast they almost
  blinded her; and as she proceeded to describe her unhappy situation; she
  became so agitated that she was obliged to give over the attempt and retire
  to bed; where; overcome with the fatigue her mind had undergone; she fell
  into a slumber which greatly refreshed her; and she arose in the morning
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  with   spirits   more   adequate   to   the   painful   task   she   had   to   perform;   and;
  after   several    attempts;    at  length   concluded      the  following     letter  to  her
  mother
  TO MRS。 TEMPLE。 NEW…YORK。
  〃Will my once kind; my ever beloved mother; deign to receive a letter
  from   her   guilty;   but   repentant   child?   or   has   she;   justly   incensed   at   my
  ingratitude;   driven   the   unhappy   Charlotte   from   her   remembrance? Alas!
  thou   much   injured   mother!   shouldst   thou   even   disown   me;   I   dare   not
  complain; because I know I have deserved it: but yet; believe me; guilty as
  I am; and cruelly as I have disappointed the hopes of the fondest parents;
  that ever girl had; even in the moment when; forgetful of my duty; I fled
  from you and happiness; even then I loved you most; and my heart bled at
  the   thought   of   what   you   would   suffer。   Oh!   never;   never!   whilst   I   have
  existence; will the agony of that moment be erased from my memory。 It
  seemed like the separation of soul and body。 What can I plead in excuse
  for my conduct? alas! nothing! That I loved my seducer is but too true! yet
  powerful as that passion is when operating in a young heart glowing with
  sensibility;    it  never    would    have    conquered      my    affection    to  you;   my
  beloved parents; had I not been encouraged; nay; urged to take the fatally
  imprudent step; by one of my own sex; who; under the mask of friendship;
  drew     me   on   to  ruin。   Yet   think   not  your    Charlotte    was    so  lost  as  to
  voluntarily rush into a life of infamy; no; my dear mother; deceived by the
  specious appearance of my betrayer; and every suspicion lulled asleep by
  the most solemn promises of marriage; I thought not those promises would
  so easily be forgotten。 I never once reflected that the man who could stoop
  to   seduction;   would   not   hesitate   to   forsake   the   wretched   object   of   his
  passion;   whenever       his   capricious   heart    grew    weary   of   her   tenderness。
  When      we    arrived    at  this  place;   I  vainly    expected     him    to  fulfil  his
  engagements; but was at last fatally convinced he had never intended   to
  make   me   his   wife;   or   if   he   had   once   thought   of   it;   his   mind   was   now
  altered。 I scorned to claim from his humanity what I could not obtain from
  his   love:   I   was   conscious   of   having   forfeited   the   only   gem   that   could
  render me respectable in the eye of the world。 I locked my sorrows in my
  own bosom; and bore my injuries in silence。 But how shall I proceed? This
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  man; this cruel Montraville; for whom I sacrificed honour; happiness; and
  the love of my friends; no longer looks on me with affection; but scorns
  the credulous girl whom his art   has made   miserable。 Could you see   me;
  my dear parents; without society; without friends; stung with remorse; and
  (I feel the burning blush of shame die my cheeks while I write it) tortured
  with the pangs of disappointed love; cut to the soul by the indifference of
  him; who; having deprived me of every other comfort; no longer thinks it
  worth his while to sooth the heart where he has planted the thorn of neve