第 15 节
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his promise; and La Rue became in due form Mrs。 Crayton; exulted in her
own good fortune; and dared to look with an eye of contempt on the
unfortunate but far less guilty Charlotte。
END OF THE FIRST VOLUME。
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VOLUME II
CHAPTER XVIII。
REFLECTIONS。
〃AND am I indeed fallen so low;〃 said Charlotte; 〃as to be only pitied?
Will the voice of approbation no more meet my ear? and shall I never
again possess a friend; whose face will wear a smile of joy whenever I
approach? Alas! how thoughtless; how dreadfully imprudent have I been! I
know not which is most painful to endure; the sneer of contempt; or the
glance of compassion; which is depicted in the various countenances of
my own sex: they are both equally humiliating。 Ah! my dear parents; could
you now see the child of your affections; the daughter whom you so dearly
loved; a poor solitary being; without society; here wearing out her heavy
hours in deep regret and anguish of heart; no kind friend of her own sex to
whom she can unbosom her griefs; no beloved mother; no woman of
character will appear in my company; and low as your Charlotte is fallen;
she cannot associate with infamy。〃
These were the painful reflections which occupied the mind of
Charlotte。 Montraville had placed her in a small house a few miles from
New…York: he gave her one female attendant; and supplied her with what
money she wanted; but business and pleasure so entirely occupied his time;
that he had little to devote to the woman; whom he had brought from all
her connections; and robbed of innocence。 Sometimes; indeed; he would
steal out at the close of evening; and pass a few hours with her; and then
so much was she attached to him; that all her sorrows were forgotten while
blest with his society: she would enjoy a walk by moonlight; or sit by him
in a little arbour at the bottom of the garden; and play on the harp;
accompanying it with her plaintive; harmonious voice。 But often; very
often; did he promise to renew his visits; and; forgetful of his promise;
leave her to mourn her disappointment。 What painful hours of expectation
would she pass! She would sit at a window which looked toward a field he
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used to cross; counting the minutes; and straining her eyes to catch the
first glimpse of his person; till blinded with tears of disappointment; she
would lean her head on her hands; and give free vent to her sorrows: then
catching at some new hope; she would again renew her watchful position;
till the shades of evening enveloped every object in a dusky cloud: she
would then renew her complaints; and; with a heart bursting with
disappointed love and wounded sensibility; retire to a bed which remorse
had strewed with thorns; and court in vain that comforter of weary nature
(who seldom visits the unhappy) to come and steep her senses in oblivion。
Who can form an adequate idea of the sorrow that preyed upon the
mind of Charlotte? The wife; whose breast glows with affection to her
husband; and who in return meets only indifference; can but faintly
conceive her anguish。 Dreadfully painful is the situation of such a woman;
but she has many comforts of which our poor Charlotte was deprived。 The
duteous; faithful wife; though treated with indifference; has one solid
pleasure within her own bosom; she can reflect that she has not deserved
neglectthat she has ever fulfilled the duties of her station with the
strictest exactness; she may hope; by constant assiduity and unremitted
attention; to recall her wanderer; and be doubly happy in his returning
affection; she knows he cannot leave her to unite himself to another: he
cannot cast her out to poverty and contempt; she looks around her; and
sees the smile of friendly welcome; or the tear of affectionate consolation;
on the face of every person whom she favours with her esteem; and from
all these circumstances she gathers comfort: but the poor girl by
thoughtless passion led astray; who; in parting with her honour; has
forfeited the esteem of the very man to whom she has sacri…iced every
thing dear and valuable in life; feels his indifference in the fruit of her own
folly; and laments her want of power to recall his lost affection; she knows
there is no tie but honour; and that; in a man who has been guilty of
seduction; is but very feeble: he may leave her in a moment to shame and
want; he may marry and forsake her for ever; and should he; she has no
redress; no friendly; soothing companion to pour into her wounded mind
the balm of consolation; no benevolent hand to lead her back to the path of
rectitude; she has disgraced her friends; forfeited the good opinion of the
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world; and undone herself; she feels herself a poor solitary being in the
midst of surrounding multitudes; shame bows her to the earth; remorse
tears her distracted mind; and guilt; poverty; and disease close the dreadful
scene: she sinks unnoticed to oblivion。 The finger of contempt may point
out to some passing daughter of youthful mirth; the humble bed where lies
this frail sister of mortality; and will she; in the unbounded gaiety of her
heart; exult in her own unblemished fame; and triumph over the silent
ashes of the dead? Oh no! has she a heart of sensibility; she will stop; and
thus address the unhappy victim of folly
〃Thou had'st thy faults; but sure thy sufferings have expiated them: thy
errors brought thee to an early grave; but thou wert a fellow…creature
thou hast been unhappythen be those errors forgotten。 〃
Then; as she stoops to pluck the noxious weed from off the sod; a tear
will fall; and consecrate the spot to Charity。
For ever honoured be the sacred drop of humanity; the angel of mercy
shall record its source; and the soul from whence it sprang shall be
immortal。
My dear Madam; contract not your brow into a frown of
disapprobation。 I mean not to extenuate the faults of those unhappy
women who fall victims to guilt and folly; but surely; when we reflect how
many errors we are ourselves subject to; how many secret faults lie hid in
the recesses of our hearts; which we should blush to have brought into
open day (and yet those faults require the lenity and pity of a benevolent
judge; or awful would be our prospect of futurity) I say; my dear Madam;
when we consider this; we surely may pity the faults of others。
Believe me; many an unfortunate female; who has once strayed into
the thorny paths of vice; would gladly return to virtue; was any generous
friend to endeavour to raise and re…assure her; but alas! it cannot be; you
say; the world would deride and scoff。 Then let me tell you; Madam; 'tis a
very unfeeling world; and does not deserve half the blessings which a
bountiful Providence showers upon it。
Oh; thou benevolent giver of all good! how shall we erring mortals
dare to look up to thy mercy in the great day of retribution; if we now
uncharitably refuse to overlook the errors; or alleviate the miseries; of our
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fellow…creatures。
CHAPTER XIX。
A MISTAKE DISCOVERED。
JULIA Franklin was the only child of a man of large property; who; at
the age of eighteen; left her independent mistress of an unincumbered
income of seven hundred a year; she was a girl of a lively disposition; and
humane; susceptible heart: she resided