第 15 节
作者:闲来一看      更新:2024-01-16 22:40      字数:9320
  his promise; and La Rue became in due form Mrs。 Crayton; exulted in her
  own   good   fortune;   and   dared   to   look   with   an   eye   of   contempt   on   the
  unfortunate but far less guilty Charlotte。
  END OF THE FIRST VOLUME。
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  VOLUME II
  CHAPTER XVIII。
  REFLECTIONS。
  〃AND am I indeed fallen so low;〃 said Charlotte; 〃as to be only pitied?
  Will   the   voice   of   approbation   no   more   meet   my   ear?   and   shall   I   never
  again   possess   a   friend;   whose   face   will   wear   a   smile   of   joy  whenever   I
  approach? Alas! how thoughtless; how dreadfully imprudent have I been! I
  know not which is most painful to endure; the sneer of contempt; or the
  glance   of   compassion;   which   is   depicted   in   the   various   countenances   of
  my own sex: they are both equally humiliating。 Ah! my dear parents; could
  you now see the child of your affections; the daughter whom you so dearly
  loved; a poor solitary being; without society; here wearing out her heavy
  hours in deep regret and anguish of heart; no kind friend of her own sex to
  whom   she   can   unbosom   her   griefs;   no   beloved   mother;   no   woman   of
  character will appear in my company; and low as your Charlotte is fallen;
  she cannot associate with infamy。〃
  These     were   the   painful   reflections    which    occupied     the  mind    of
  Charlotte。 Montraville had placed her in a small house a few miles from
  New…York: he gave her one female attendant; and supplied her with what
  money she wanted; but business and pleasure so entirely occupied his time;
  that he had little to devote to the woman; whom he had brought from all
  her connections; and robbed of innocence。 Sometimes; indeed; he would
  steal out at the close of evening; and pass a few hours with her; and then
  so much was she attached to him; that all her sorrows were forgotten while
  blest with his society: she would enjoy a walk by moonlight; or sit by him
  in   a  little  arbour  at   the  bottom   of  the  garden;   and   play   on  the   harp;
  accompanying   it   with   her   plaintive;   harmonious   voice。   But   often;   very
  often;   did   he   promise   to   renew   his   visits;   and;   forgetful   of   his   promise;
  leave her to mourn her disappointment。 What painful hours of expectation
  would she pass! She would sit at a window which looked toward a field he
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  used   to   cross;   counting   the   minutes;   and   straining   her   eyes   to   catch   the
  first glimpse of his person; till blinded with tears of disappointment; she
  would lean her head on her hands; and give free vent to her sorrows: then
  catching at some new hope; she would again renew her watchful position;
  till   the   shades   of   evening   enveloped   every   object   in   a   dusky   cloud:   she
  would      then    renew     her   complaints;      and;    with   a   heart   bursting     with
  disappointed love and wounded sensibility; retire to a bed which remorse
  had strewed with thorns; and court in vain that comforter of weary nature
  (who seldom visits the unhappy) to come and steep her senses in oblivion。
  Who   can   form   an   adequate   idea   of   the   sorrow   that   preyed   upon   the
  mind   of   Charlotte?   The   wife;   whose   breast   glows   with   affection   to   her
  husband;      and    who    in   return   meets    only    indifference;     can   but   faintly
  conceive her anguish。 Dreadfully painful is the situation of such a woman;
  but she has many comforts of which our poor Charlotte was deprived。 The
  duteous;      faithful   wife;   though     treated   with   indifference;     has   one    solid
  pleasure within her own bosom; she can reflect that she has not deserved
  neglectthat      she   has   ever   fulfilled    the  duties    of  her   station   with    the
  strictest   exactness;   she   may   hope;   by   constant   assiduity   and   unremitted
  attention;   to   recall   her   wanderer;   and   be   doubly   happy   in   his   returning
  affection; she knows he cannot leave  her to unite himself to another: he
  cannot   cast   her   out   to   poverty   and   contempt;   she   looks   around   her;   and
  sees the smile of friendly welcome; or the tear of affectionate consolation;
  on the face of every person whom she favours with her esteem; and from
  all    these   circumstances        she   gathers     comfort:     but    the   poor    girl   by
  thoughtless       passion    led   astray;   who;    in  parting    with    her   honour;     has
  forfeited   the   esteem   of   the   very   man   to   whom   she   has   sacri…iced   every
  thing dear and valuable in life; feels his indifference in the fruit of her own
  folly; and laments her want of power to recall his lost affection; she knows
  there   is   no   tie   but   honour;   and   that;   in   a   man   who   has   been   guilty   of
  seduction; is but very feeble: he may leave her in a moment to shame and
  want; he may marry and forsake her for ever; and should he; she has no
  redress; no friendly; soothing companion to pour into her wounded mind
  the balm of consolation; no benevolent hand to lead her back to the path of
  rectitude; she has disgraced her friends; forfeited the good opinion of the
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  world;  and   undone   herself; she   feels   herself a   poor   solitary  being   in   the
  midst   of   surrounding   multitudes;   shame   bows   her   to   the   earth;   remorse
  tears her distracted mind; and guilt; poverty; and disease close the dreadful
  scene: she sinks unnoticed to oblivion。 The finger of contempt may point
  out to some passing daughter of youthful mirth; the humble bed where lies
  this frail sister of mortality; and will she; in the unbounded gaiety of her
  heart;   exult   in   her   own   unblemished   fame;   and   triumph   over   the   silent
  ashes of the dead? Oh no! has she a heart of sensibility; she will stop; and
  thus address the unhappy victim of folly
  〃Thou had'st thy faults; but sure thy sufferings have expiated them: thy
  errors   brought   thee   to   an   early   grave;   but   thou   wert   a   fellow…creature
  thou hast been unhappythen be those errors forgotten。 〃
  Then; as she stoops to pluck the noxious weed from off the sod; a tear
  will fall; and consecrate the spot to Charity。
  For ever honoured be the sacred drop of humanity; the angel of mercy
  shall    record    its  source;   and    the  soul   from    whence      it  sprang   shall   be
  immortal。
  My      dear    Madam;        contract     not   your     brow     into    a   frown     of
  disapprobation。        I  mean    not   to  extenuate     the   faults   of  those    unhappy
  women who fall victims to guilt and folly; but surely; when we reflect how
  many errors we are ourselves subject to; how many secret faults lie hid in
  the   recesses   of   our   hearts;   which   we   should   blush   to   have   brought   into
  open day (and yet those faults require the lenity and pity of a benevolent
  judge; or awful would be our prospect of futurity) I say; my dear Madam;
  when we consider this; we surely may pity the faults of others。
  Believe   me;   many  an   unfortunate   female;  who   has once   strayed   into
  the thorny paths of vice; would gladly return to virtue; was any generous
  friend to endeavour to raise and re…assure her; but alas! it cannot be; you
  say; the world would deride and scoff。 Then let me tell you; Madam; 'tis a
  very   unfeeling   world;   and   does   not   deserve   half   the   blessings   which   a
  bountiful Providence showers upon it。
  Oh;   thou   benevolent   giver   of   all   good!   how   shall   we   erring   mortals
  dare  to   look   up   to   thy   mercy   in   the   great   day  of   retribution;   if   we   now
  uncharitably refuse to overlook the errors; or alleviate the miseries; of our
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  fellow…creatures。
  CHAPTER XIX。
  A MISTAKE DISCOVERED。
  JULIA Franklin was the only child of a man of large property; who; at
  the   age   of   eighteen;   left   her   independent   mistress   of   an   unincumbered
  income of seven hundred a year; she was a girl of a lively disposition; and
  humane;   susceptible   heart:   she   resided