第 81 节
作者:
津鸿一瞥 更新:2023-08-28 11:48 字数:9322
her right hand; which lay nearest to me。 It was tight clinched。 I
tried to unclasp the fingers; and succeeded after a little time。
Something dark fell out of the palm of her hand as I straightened
it。
I picked the thing up; and smoothed it out; and saw that it was
an end of a man's cravat。
A very old; rotten; dingy strip of black silk; with thin lilac
lines; all blurred and deadened with dirt; running across and
across the stuff in a sort of trellis…work pattern。 The small end
of the cravat was hemmed in the usual way; but the other end was
all jagged; as if the morsel then in my hands had been torn off
violently from the rest of the stuff。 A chill ran all over me as
I looked at it; for that poor; stained; crumpled end of a cravat
seemed to be saying to me; as though it had been in plain words:
〃If she dies; she has come to her death by foul means; and I am
the witness of it。〃
I had been frightened enough before; lest she should die suddenly
and quietly without my knowing it; while we were alone together;
but I got into a perfect agony now; for fear this last worst
affliction should take me by surprise。 I don't suppose five
minutes passed all that woful night through without my getting up
and putting my cheek close to her mouth; to feel if the faint
breaths still fluttered out of it。 They came and went just the
same as at first; though the fright I was in often made me fancy
they were stilled forever。
Just as the church clocks were striking four I was startled by
seeing the room door open。 It was only Dusty Sal (as they call
her in the house); the maid…of…all…work。 She was wrapped up in
the blanket off her bed; her hair was all tumbled over her face;
and her eyes were heavy with sleep as she came up to the bedside
where I was sitting。
〃I've two hours good before I begin to work;〃 says she; in her
hoarse; drowsy voice; 〃and I've come to sit up and take my turn
at watching her。 You lay down and get some sleep on the rug。
Here's my blanket for you。 I don't mind the coldit will keep me
awake。〃
〃You are very kindvery; very kind and thoughtful; Sally;〃 says
I; 〃but I am too wretched in my mind to want sleep; or rest; or
to do anything but wait where I am; and try and hope for the
best。〃
〃Then I'll wait; too;〃 says Sally。 〃I must do something; if
there's nothing to do but waiting; I'll wait。〃
And she sat down opposite me at the foot of the bed; and drew the
blanket close round her with a shiver。
〃After working so hard as you do; I'm sure you must want all the
little rest you can get;〃 says I。
〃Excepting only you;〃 says Sally; putting her heavy arm very
clumsily; but very gently at the same time; round Mary's feet;
and looking hard at the pale; still face on the pillow。
〃Excepting you; she's the only soul in this house as never swore
at me; or give me a hard word that I can remember。 When you made
puddings on Sundays; and give her half; she always give me a bit。
The rest of 'em calls me Dusty Sal。 Excepting only you; again;
she always called me Sally; as if she knowed me in a friendly
way。 I ain't no good here; but I ain't no harm; neither; and I
shall take my turn at the sitting upthat's what I shall do!〃
She nestled her head down close at Mary's feet as she spoke those
words; and said no more。 I once or twice thought she had fallen
asleep; but whenever I looked at her her heavy eyes were always
wide open。 She never changed her position an inch till the church
clocks struck six; then she gave one little squeeze to Mary's
feet with her arm; and shuffled out of the room without a word。 A
minute or two after; I heard her down below; lighting the kitchen
fire just as usual。
A little later the doctor stepped over before his breakfast…time
to see if there had been any change in the night。 He only shook
his head when he looked at her as if there was no hope。 Having
nobody else to consult that I could put trust in; I showed him
the end of the cravat; and told him of the dreadful suspicion
that had arisen in my mind when I found it in her hand。
〃You must keep it carefully; and produce it at the inquest;〃 he
said。 〃I don't know; though; that it is likely to lead to
anything。 The bit of stuff may have been lying on the pavement
near her; and her hand may have unconsciously clutched it when
she fell。 Was she subject to fainting…fits?〃
〃Not more so; sir; than other young girls who are hard…worked and
anxious; and weakly from poor living;〃 I answered。
〃I can't say that she may not have got that blow from a fall;〃
the doctor went on; locking at her temple again。 〃I can't say
that it presents any positive appearance of having been inflicted
by another person。 It will be important; however; to ascertain
what state of health she was in last night。 Have you any idea
where she was yesterday evening?〃
I told him where she was employed at work; and said I imagined
she must have been kept there later than usual。
〃I shall pass the place this morning〃 said the doctor; 〃in going
my rounds among my patients; and I'll just step in and make some
inquiries。〃
I thanked him; and we parted。 Just as he was closing the door he
looked in again。
〃Was she your sister?〃 he asked。
〃No; sir; only my dear friend。〃
He said nothing more; but I heard him sigh as he shut the door
softly。 Perhaps he once had a sister of his own; and lost her?
Perhaps she was like Mary in the face?
The doctor was hours gone away。 I began to feel unspeakably
forlorn and helpless; so much so as even to wish selfishly that
Robert might really have sailed from America; and might get to
London in time to assist and console me。
No living creature came into the room but Sally。 The first time
she brought me some tea; the second and third times she only
looked in to see if there was any change; and glanced her eye
toward the bed。 I had never known her so silent before; it seemed
almost as if this dreadful accident had struck her dumb。 I ought
to have spoken to her; perhaps; but there was something in her
face that daunted me; and; besides; the fever of anxiety I was in
began to dry up my lips; as if they would never be able to shape
any words again。 I was still tormented by that frightful
apprehension of the past night; that she would die without my
knowing itdie without saying one word to clear up the awful
mystery of this blow; and set the suspicions at rest forever
which I still felt whenever my eyes fell on the end of the old
cravat。
At last the doctor came back。
〃I think you may safely clear your mind of any doubts to which
that bit of stuff may have given rise;〃 he said。 〃She was; as you
supposed; detained late by her employers; and she fainted in the
work…room。 They most unwisely and unkindly let her go home alone;
without giving her any stimulant; as soon as she came to her
senses again。 Nothing is more probable; under these
circumstances; than that she should faint a second time on her
way here。 A fall on the pavement; without any friendly arm to
break it; might have produced even a worse injury than the injury
we see。 I believe that the only ill usage to which the poor girl
was exposed was the neglect she met with in the work…room。〃
〃You speak very reasonably; I own; sir;〃 said I; not yet quite
convinced。 〃Still; perhaps she may〃
〃My poor girl; I told you not to hope;〃 said the doctor;
interrupting me。 He went to Mary; and lifted up her eyelids; and
looked at her eyes while he spoke; then added; 〃If you still
doubt how she came by that blow; do not encourage the idea that
any words of hers will ever enlighten you。 She will never speak
again。〃
〃Not dead! Oh; sir; don't say she's dead!〃
〃She is dead to pain and sorrowdead to speech and recognition。
There is more animation in the life of the feeblest insect that
flies than in the life that is left in her。 When you look at her
now; try to think that she is in heaven。 That is the best comfort
I can give you; after telling the hard truth。〃
I did not believe him。 I could not believe him。 So long as she
breathed at all; so long I was resolved to hope。 Soon after the
doctor was gone; Sally came in again; and found me listening (if
I may call it so) at Mary's lips。 She went to where my little
hand…glass hangs against the wall; took it down; and gave it to
me。
〃See if the breath marks it;〃 she said。
Yes; her breath did mark it; but very faintly。 Sally cleaned the
glass with her apron; and gave it back to me。 As she did so; she
half stretched out her hand to Mary's face; but drew it in again
suddenly; as if she was afraid of soiling Mary's delicate skin
with her hard; horny fingers。 Going out; she stopped at the foot
of the bed; and scraped away a little patch of mud that was on
one of Mary's shoes。
〃I always used to clean 'em for her;〃 said Sally; 〃to save her
hands from getting blacked。 May I take 'em off now; and clean 'em
again?〃
I nodded my head; for my heart was too heavy to speak。 Sally took
the shoes off with a slow; awkward tenderness; and went out。
An hour or more must have passed; when; putting the glass over
her lips again; I saw no mark on it。 I held it closer and closer。
I dulled it accidentally with my own breath; and cleaned it。