第 34 节
作者:
津鸿一瞥 更新:2023-08-28 11:47 字数:9322
different when we afterward reasoned together about the purpose
which the apparition had come to fulfillfar different when she
showed me that its mission might be for good instead of for evil;
and that the warning it was sent to give might be to my profit
instead of to my loss。 At those words; the new idea which gave
the new hope of life came to me in an instant。 I believed then;
what I believe now; that I have a supernatural warrant for my
errand here。 In that faith I live; without it I should die。 _She_
never ridiculed it; never scorned it as insanity。 Mark what I
say! The spirit that appeared to me in the Abbeythat has never
left me sincethat stands there now by your side; warns me to
escape from the fatality which hangs over our race; and commands
me; if I would avoid it; to bury the unburied dead。 Mortal loves
and mortal interests must bow to that awful bidding。 The
specter…presence will never leave me till I have sheltered the
corpse that cries to the earth to cover it! I dare not returnI
dare not marry till I have filled the place that is empty in
Wincot vault。〃
His eyes flashed and dilatedhis voice deepeneda fanatic
ecstasy shone in his expression as he uttered these words。
Shocked and grieved as I was; I made no attempt to remonstrate or
to reason with him。 It would have been useless to have referred
to any of the usual commonplaces about optical delusions or
diseased imaginationsworse than useless to have attempted to
account by natural causes for any of the extraordinary
coincidences and events of which he had spoken。 Briefly as he had
referred to Miss Elmslie; he had said enough to show me that the
only hope of the poor girl who loved him best and had known him
longest of any one was in humoring his delusions to the last。 How
faithfully she still clung to the belief that she could restore
him! How resolutely was she sacrificing herself to his morbid
fancies; in the hope of a happy future that might never come!
Little as I knew of Miss Elmslie; the mere thought of her
situation; as I now reflected on it; made me feel sick at heart。
〃They call me Mad Monkton!〃 he exclaimed; suddenly breaking the
silence between us during the last few minutes; 〃Here and in
England everybody believes I am out of my senses except Ada and
you。 She has been my salvation; and you will be my salvation too。
Something told me that when I first met you walking in the Villa
Peale。 I struggled against the strong desire that was in me to
trust my secret to you; but I could resist it no longer when I
saw you to…night at the ball; the phantom seemed to draw me on to
you as you stood alone in the quiet room。 Tell me more of that
idea of yours about finding the place where the duel was fought。
If I set out to…morrow to seek for it myself; where must I go to
first? where?〃 He stopped; his strength was evidently becoming
exhausted; and his mind was growing confused。 〃What am I to do? I
can't remember。 You know everythingwill you not help me? My
misery has made me unable to help myself。〃
He stopped; murmured something about failing if he went to the
frontier alone; and spoke confusedly of delays that might be
fatal; then tried to utter the name of 〃Ada〃; but; in pronouncing
the first letter; his voice faltered; and; turning abruptly from
me; he burst into tears。
My pity for him got the better of my prudence at that moment; and
without thinking of responsibilities; I promised at once to do
for him whatever he asked。 The wild triumph in his expression as
he started up and seized my hand showed me that I had better have
been more cautious; but it was too late now to retract what I had
said。 The next best thing to do was to try if I could not induce
him to compose himself a little; and then to go away and think
coolly over the whole affair by myself。
〃Yes; yes;〃 he rejoined; in answer to the few words I now spoke
to try and calm him; 〃don't be afraid about me。 After what you
have said; I'll answer for my own coolness and composure under
all emergencies。 I have been so long used to the apparition that
I hardly feel its presence at all except on rare occasions。
Besides; I have here in this little packet of letters the
medicine for every m alady of the sick heart。 They are Ada's
letters; I read them to calm me whenever my misfortune seems to
get the better of my endurance。 I wanted that half hour to read
them in to…night before you came; to make myself fit to see you;
and I shall go through them again after you are gone; so; once
more; don't be afraid about me。 I know I shall succeed with your
help; and Ada shall thank you as you deserve to be thanked when
we get back to England。 If you hear the fools at Naples talk
about my being mad; don't trouble yourself to contradict them;
the scandal is so contemptible that it must end by contradicting
itself。〃
I left him; promising to return early the next day。
When I got back to my hotel; I felt that any idea of sleeping
after all that I had seen and heard was out of the question; so I
lit my pipe; and; sitting by the windowhow it refreshed my mind
just then to look at the calm moonlight!tried to think what it
would be best to do。 In the first place; any appeal to doctors or
to Alfred's friends in England was out of the question。 I could
not persuade myself that his intellect was sufficiently
disordered to justify me; under existing circumstances; in
disclosing the secret which he had intrusted to my keeping。 In
the second place; all attempts on my part to induce him to
abandon the idea of searching out his uncle's remains would be
utterly useless after what I had incautiously said to him。 Having
settled these two conclusions; the only really great difficulty
which remained to perplex me was whether I was justified in
aiding him to execute his extraordinary purpose。
Supposing that; with my help; he found Mr。 Monkton's body; and
took it back with him to England; was it right in me thus to lend
myself to promoting the marriage which would most likely follow
these eventsa marriage which it might be the duty of every one
to prevent at all hazards? This set me thinking about the extent
of his madness; or to speak more mildly and more correctly; of
his delusion。 Sane he certainly was on all ordinary subjects;
nay; in all the narrative parts of what he had said to me on this
very evening he had spoken clearly and connectedly。 As for the
story of the apparition; other men; with intellects as clear as
the intellects of their neighbors had fancied themselves pursued
by a phantom; and had even written about it in a high strain of
philosophical speculation。 It was plain that the real
hallucination in the case now before me lay in Monkton's
conviction of the truth of the old prophecy; and in his idea that
the fancied apparition was a supernatural warning to him to evade
its denunciations; and it was equally clear that both delusions
had been produced; in the first instance; by the lonely life he
had led acting on a naturally excitable temperament; which was
rendered further liable to moral disease by an hereditary taint
of insanity。
Was this curable? Miss Elmslie; who knew him far better than I
did; seemed by her conduct to think so。 Had I any reason or right
to determine offhand that she was mistaken? Supposing I refused
to go to the frontier with him; he would then most certainly
depart by himself; to commit all sorts of errors; and perhaps to
meet with all sorts of accidents; while I; an idle man; with my
time entirely at my own disposal; was stopping at Naples; and
leaving him to his fate after I had suggested the plan of his
expedition; and had encouraged him to confide in me。 In this way
I kept turning the subject over and over again in my mind; being
quite free; let me add; from looking at it in any other than a
practical point of view。 I firmly believed; as a derider of all
ghost stories; that Alfred was deceiving himself in fancying that
he had seen the apparition of his uncle before the news of Mr。
Monkton's death reached England; and I was on this account;
therefore; uninfluenced by the slightest infection of my unhappy
friend's delusions when I at last fairly decided to accompany him
in his extraordinary search。 Possibly my harum…scarum fondness
for excitement at that time biased me a little in forming my
resolution; but I must add; in common justice to myself; that I
also acted from motives of real sympathy for Monkton; and from a
sincere wish to allay; if I could; the anxiety of the poor girl
who was still so faithfully waiting and hoping for him far away
in England。
Certain arrangements preliminary to our departure; which I found
myself obliged to make after a second interview with Alfred;
betrayed the object of our journey to most of our Neapolitan
friends。 The astonishment of everybody was of course unbounded;
and the nearly universal suspicion that I must be as mad in my
way as Monkton himself showed itself pretty plainly in my
presence。 Some people actually tried to combat my resolution by
telling me what a shameless profligate Stephen Monkton had
beenas if I had a strong personal interest in hunting out his
remains! Ridicule moved me as little as any argumen