第 33 节
作者:
津鸿一瞥 更新:2023-08-28 11:47 字数:9322
throughout the oldest uninhabited part of the Abbey; and to try
if I could not find out from forgotten family records what the
portrait was; and when the prophecy had been first written or
uttered。 Did you ever pass a day alone in the long…deserted
chambers of an ancient house?〃
〃Never! such solitude as that is not at all to my taste。〃
〃Ah! what a life it was when I began my search。 I should like to
live it over again。 Such tempting suspense; such strange
discoveries; such wild fancies; such inthralling terrors; all
belonged to that life。 Only think of breaking open the door of a
room which no living soul had entered before you for nearly a
hundred years; think of the first step forward into a region of
airless; awful stillness; where the light falls faint and sickly
through closed windows and rotting curtains; think of the ghostly
creaking of the old floor that cries out on you for treading on
it; step as softly as you will; think of arms; helmets; weird
tapestries of by…gone days; that seem to be moving out on you
from the walls as you first walk up to them in the dim light;
think of prying into great cabinets and iron…clasped chests; not
knowing what horrors may appear when you tear them open; of
poring over their contents till twilight stole on you and
darkness grew terrible in the lonely place; of trying to leave
it; and not being able to go; as if something held you; of wind
wailing at you outside; of shadows darkening round you; and
closing you up in obscurity withinonly think of these things;
and you may imagine the fascination of suspense and terror in
such a life as mine was in those past days。〃
(I shrank from imagining that life: it was bad enough to see its
results; as I saw them before me now。)
〃Well; my search lasted months and months; then it was suspended
a little; then resumed。 In whatever direction I pursued it I
always found something to lure me on。 Terrible confessions of
past crimes; shocking proofs of secret wickedness that had been
hidden securely from all eyes but mine; came to light。 Sometimes
these discoveries were associated with particular parts of the
Abbey; which have had a horrible interest of their own for me
ever since; sometimes with certain old portraits in the
picture…gallery; which I actually dreaded to look at after what I
had found out。 There were periods when the results of this search
of mine so horrified me that I determined to give it up entirely;
but I never could persevere in my resolution; the temptation to
go on seemed at certain intervals to get too strong for me; and
then I yielded to it again and again。 At last I found the book
that had belonged to the monks with the whole of the prophecy
written in the blank leaf。 This first success encouraged me to
get back further yet in the family records。 I had discovered
nothing hitherto of the identity of the mysterious portrait; but
the same intuitive conviction which had assured me of its
extraordinary resemblance to my Uncle Stephen seemed also to
assure me that he must be more closely connected with the
prophecy; and must know more of it than any one else。 I had no
means of holding any communication with him; no means of
satisfying myself whether this strange idea of mine were right or
wrong; until the day when my doubts were settled forever by the
same terrible proof which is now present to me in this very
room。〃
He paused for a moment; and looked at me intently and
suspiciously; then asked if I believed all he had said to me so
far。 My instant reply in the affirmative seemed to satisfy his
doubts; and he went on。
〃On a fine evening in February I was standing alone in one of the
deserted rooms of the western turret at the Abbey; looking at the
sunset。 Just before the sun went down I felt a sensation stealing
over me which it is impossible to explain。 I saw nothing; heard
nothing; knew nothing。 This utter self…oblivion came suddenly; it
was not fainting; for I did not fall to the ground; did not move
an inch from my place。 If such a thing could be; I should say it
was the temporary separation of soul and body without death; but
all description of my situation at that time is impossible。 Call
my state what you will; trance or catalepsy; I know that I
remained standing by the window utterly unconsciousdead; mind
and bodyuntil the sun had set。 Then I came to my senses again;
and then; when I opened my eyes; there was the apparition of
Stephen Monkton standing opposite to me; faintly luminous; just
as it stands opposite me at this very moment by your side。〃
Was this before the news of the duel reached England?〃 I asked。
〃_Two weeks before_ the news of it reached us at Wincot。 And even
when we heard of the duel; we did not hear of the day on which it
was fought。 I only found that out when the document which you
have read was published in the French newspaper。 The date of that
document; you will remember; is February 22d; and it is stated
that the duel was fought two days afterward。 I wrote down in my
pocketbook; on the evening when I saw the phantom; the day of the
month on which it first appeared to me 。 That day was the 24th of
February。
He paused again; as if expecting me to say something。 After the
words he had just spoken; what could I say? what could I think?
〃Even in the first horror of first seeing the apparition;〃 he
went on; 〃the prophecy against our house came to my mind; and
with it the conviction that I beheld before me; in that spectral
presence; the warning of my own doom。 As soon as I recovered a
little; I determined; nevertheless; to test the reality of what I
saw; to find out whether I was the dupe of my own diseased fancy
or not。 I left the turret; the phantom left it with me。 I made an
excuse to have the drawing…room at the Abbey brilliantly lighted
up; the figure was still opposite me。 I walked out into the park;
it was there in the clear starlight。 I went away from home; and
traveled many miles to the sea…side; still the tall dark man in
his death agony was with me。 After this I strove against the
fatality no more。 I returned to the Abbey; and tried to resign
myself to my misery。 But this was not to be。 I had a hope that
was dearer to me than my own life; I had one treasure belonging
to me that I shuddered at the prospect of losing; and when the
phantom presence stood a warning obstacle between me and this one
treasure; this dearest hope; then my misery grew heavier than I
could bear。 You must know what I am alluding to; you must have
heard often that I was engaged to be married?〃
〃Yes; often。 I have some acquaintance myself with Miss Elmslie。〃
〃You never can know all that she has sacrificed for menever can
imagine what I have felt for years and years past〃his voice
trembled; and the tears came into his eyes〃but I dare not trust
myself to speak of that; the thought of the old happy days in the
Abbey almost breaks my heart now。 Let me get back to the other
subject。 I must tell you that I kept the frightful vision which
pursued me; at all times and in all places; a secret from
everybody; knowing the vile reports about my having inherited
madness from my family; and fearing that an unfair advantage
would be taken of any confession that I might make。 Though the
phantom always stood opposite to me; and therefore always
appeared either before or by the side of any person to whom I
spoke; I soon schooled myself to hide from others that I was
looking at it except on rare occasions; when I have perhaps
betrayed myself to you。 But my self…possession availed me nothing
with Ada。 The day of our marriage was approaching。〃
He stopped and shuddered。 I waited in silence till he had
controlled himself。
〃Think;〃 he went on; 〃think of what I must have suffered at
looking always on that hideous vision whenever I looked on my
betrothed wife! Think of my taking her hand; and seeming to take
it through the figure of the apparition! Think of the calm
angel…face and the tortured specter…face being always together
whenever my eyes met hers! Think of this; and you will not wonder
that I betrayed my secret to her。 She eagerly entreated to know
the worstnay; more; she insisted on knowing it。 At her bidding
I told all; and then left her free to break our engagement。 The
thought of death was in my heart as I spoke the parting
wordsdeath by my own act; if life still held out after our
separation。 She suspected that thought; she knew it; and never
left me till her good influence had destroyed it forever。 But for
her I should not have been alive now; but for her I should never
have attempted the project which has brought me here。〃
〃Do you mean that it was at Miss Elmslie's suggestion that you
came to Naples?〃 I asked; in amazement。
〃I mean that what she said suggested the design which has brought
me to Naples;〃 he answered。 〃While I believed that the phantom
had appeared to me as the fatal messenger of death; there was no
comfortthere was misery; rather; in hearing her say that no
power on earth should make her desert me; and that she would live
for me; and for me only; through every trial。 But it was far
different when we afterward reasoned together about the purpose
which the appar