第 9 节
作者:津鸿一瞥      更新:2023-08-28 11:47      字数:9322
  eyes; to listen to her with my new ears; to study her secretly
  with my new purposes; and my new hopes and fears。 To my dismay
  (for I wanted the very weather itself to favor George's
  interests); it was raining heavily that morning。 I knew;
  therefore; that I should probably find her in her own
  sitting…room。 When I knocked at her door; with George's letter
  crumpled up in my hand; with George's hopes in full possession of
  my heart; it is no exaggeration to say that my nerves were almost
  as much fluttered; and my ideas almost as much confused; as they
  were on a certain memorable day in the far past; when I rose; in
  brand…new wig and gown; to set my future prospects at the bar on
  the hazard of my first speech。
  When I entered the room I found Jessie leaning back languidly in
  her largest arm…chair; watching the raindrops dripping down the
  window…pane。 The unfortunate box of novels was open by her side;
  and the books were lying; for the most part; strewed about on the
  ground at her feet。 One volume lay open; back upward; on her lap;
  and her hands were crossed over it listlessly。 To my great
  dismay; she was yawningpalpably and widely yawningwhen I came
  in。
  No sooner did I find myself in her presence than an irresistible
  anxiety to make some secret discovery of the real state of her
  feelings toward George took possession of me。 After the customary
  condolences on the imprisonment to which she was subjected by the
  weather; I said; in as careless a manner as it was possible to
  assume:
  〃I have heard from my son this morning。 He talks of being ordered
  home; and tells me I may expect to see him before the end of the
  year。〃
  I was too cautious to mention the exact date of his return; for
  in that case she might have detected my motive for asking her to
  prolong her visit。
  〃Oh; indeed?〃 she said。 〃How very nice。 How glad you must be。〃
  I watched her narrowly。 The clear; dark blue eyes met mine as
  openly as ever。 The smooth; round cheeks kept their fresh color
  quite unchanged。 The full; good…humored; smiling lips never
  trembled or altered their expression in the slightest degree。 Her
  light checked silk dress; with its pretty trimming of
  cherry…colored ribbon; lay quite still over the bosom beneath it。
  For all the information I could get from her look and manner; we
  might as well have been a hundred miles apart from each other。 Is
  the best woman in the world little better than a fathomless abyss
  of duplicity on certain occasions; and where certain feelings of
  her own are concerned? I would rather not think that; and yet I
  don't know how to account otherwise for the masterly manner in
  which Miss Jessie contrived to baffle me。
  I was afraidliterally afraidto broach the subject of
  prolonging her sojourn with us on a rainy day; so I changed the
  topic; in despair; to the novels that were scattered about her。
  〃Can you find nothing there;〃 I asked; 〃to amuse you this wet
  morning?〃
  〃There are two or three good novels;〃 she said; carelessly; 〃but
  I read them before I left London。〃
  〃And the others won't even do for a dull day in the country?〃 I
  went on。
  〃They might do for some people;〃 she answered; 〃but not for me。
  I'm rather peculiar; perhaps; in my tastes。 I'm sick to death of
  novels with an earnest purpose。 I'm sick to death of outbursts of
  eloquence; and large…minded philanthropy; and graphic
  descriptions; and unsparing anatomy of the human heart; and all
  that sort of thing。 Good gracious me! isn't it the original
  intention or purpose; or whatever you call it; of a work of
  fiction; to set out distinctly by telling a story? And how many
  of these books; I should like to know; do that? Why; so far as
  telling a story is concerned; the greater part of them might as
  well be sermons as novels。 Oh; dear me! what I want is something
  that seizes hold of my interest; and makes me forget when it is
  time to dress for dinnersomething that keeps me reading;
  reading; reading; in a breathless state to find out the end。 You
  know what I meanat least you ought。 Why; there was that little
  chance story you told me yesterday in the gardendon't you
  remember?about your strange client; whom you never saw again: I
  declare it was much more interesting than half these novels;
  _because_ it was a story。 Tell me another about your young days;
  when you were seeing the world; and meeting with all sorts of
  remarkable people。 Or; nodon't tell it nowkeep it till the
  evening; when we all want something to stir us up。 You old people
  might amuse us young ones out of your own resources oftener than
  you do。 It was very kind of you to get me these books; but; with
  all respect to them; I would rather have the rummaging of your
  memory than the rummaging of this box。 What's the matter? Are you
  afraid I have found out the window in your bosom already?〃
  I had half risen from my chair at her last words; and I felt that
  my face must have flushed at the same moment。 She had started an
  idea in my mindthe very idea of which I had been in search when
  I was pondering over the best means of amusing her in the long
  autumn evenings。
  I parried her questions by the best excuses I could offer;
  changed the conversation for the next five minutes; and then;
  making a sudden remembrance of business my apology for leaving
  her; hastily withdrew to devote myself to the new idea in the
  solitude of my own room。
  A little quiet thinking convinced me that I had discovered a
  means not only of occupying her idle time; but of decoying her
  into staying on with us; evening by evening; until my son's
  return。 The new project which she had herself unconsciously
  suggested involved nothing less than acting forthwith on her own
  chance hint; and appealing to her interest and curiosity by the
  recital of incidents and adventures drawn from my own personal
  experience and (if I could get them to help me) from the
  experience of my brothers as well。 Strange people and startling
  events had connected themselves with Owen's past life as a
  clergyman; with Morgan's past life as a doctor; and with my past
  life as a lawyer; which offered elements of interest of a strong
  and striking kind ready to our hands。 If these narratives were
  written plainly and unpretendingly; if one of them was read every
  evening; under circumstances that should pique the curiosity and
  impress the imagination of our young guest; the very occupation
  was found for her weary hours which would gratify her tastes;
  appeal to her natural interest in the early lives of my brothers
  and myself; and lure her insensibly into prolonging her visit by
  ten days without exciting a suspicion of our real motive for
  detaining her。
  I sat down at my desk; I hid my face in my hands to keep out all
  impressions of external and present things; and I searched back
  through the mysterious labyrinth of the Past; through the dun;
  ever…deepening twilight of the years that were gone。
  Slowly; out of the awful shadows; the Ghosts of Memory rose about
  me。 The dead population of a vanished world came back to life
  round me; a living man。 Men and women whose earthly pilgrimage
  had ended long since; returned upon me from the unknown spheres;
  and fond; familiar voices burst their way back to my ears through
  the heavy silence of the grave。 Moving by me in the nameless
  inner light; which no eye saw but mine; the dead procession of
  immaterial scenes and beings unrolled its silent length。 I saw
  once more the pleading face of a friend of early days; with the
  haunting vision that had tortured him through life by his side
  againwith the long…forgotten despair in his eyes which had once
  touched my heart; and bound me to him; till I had tracked his
  destiny through its darkest windings to the end。 I saw the figure
  of an innocent woman passing to and fro in an ancient country
  house; with the shadow of a strange suspicion stealing after her
  wherever she went。 I saw a man worn by hardship and old age;
  stretched dreaming on the straw of a stable; and muttering in his
  dream the terrible secret of his life。
  Other scenes and persons followed these; less vivid in their
  revival; but still always recognizable and distinct; a young girl
  alone by night; and in peril of her life; in a cottage on a
  dreary mooran upper chamber of an inn; with two beds in it; the
  curtains of one bed closed; and a man standing by them; waiting;
  yet dreading to draw them backa husband secretly following the
  first traces of a mystery which his wife's anxious love had
  fatally hidden from him since the day when they first met; these;
  and other visions like them; shadowy reflections of the living
  beings and the real events that had been once; peopled the
  solitude and the emptiness around me。 They haunted me still when
  I tried to break the chain of thought which my own efforts had
  wound about my mind; they followed me to and fro in the room; and
  they came out with me when I left it。 I had lifted the veil from
  the Past for myself; and I was now to rest no more till I had
  lifted it for others。
  I went at once to my eldest brother and showed him my son's
  letter; and told him all that I have written here。 His kind heart
  was touched as mine had been。 He felt for my suspense; he shared
  my anxiety; he l