第 38 节
作者:
飘雪的季节 更新:2023-08-22 20:47 字数:9322
and thinking him pathetic。
After he was gone that evening; she said:
〃Ought we to have Nell to stay with us while you're finishing her?
She must be very lonely now her father's so much away。〃
It was like Sylvia to think of that; but would it be pleasure or
vexation to have in the house this child with her quaint grown…
upness; her confiding ways; and those 'Perdita' eyes? In truth he
did not know。
She came to them with touching alacrityvery like a dog; who; left
at home when the family goes for a holiday; takes at once to those
who make much of it。
And she was no trouble; too well accustomed to amuse herself; and
always quaint to watch; with her continual changes from child to
woman of the world。 A new sensation; thisof a young creature in
the house。 Both he and Sylvia had wanted children; without luck。
Twice illness had stood in the way。 Was it; perhaps; just that
little lack in herthat lack of poignancy; which had prevented her
from becoming a mother? An only child herself; she had no nieces
or nephews; Cicely's boys had always been at school; and now were
out in the world。 Yes; a new sensation; and one in which Lennan's
restless feelings seemed to merge and vanish。
Outside the hours when Nell sat to him; he purposely saw but little
of her; leaving her to nestle under Sylvia's wing; and this she
did; as if she never wanted to come out。 Thus he preserved his
amusement at her quaint warmths; and quainter calmness; his
aesthetic pleasure in watching her; whose strange; half…hypnotized;
half…hypnotic gaze; had a sort of dreamy and pathetic lovingness;
as if she were brimful of affections that had no outlet。
Every morning after 'sitting' she would stay an hour bent over her
own drawing; which made practically no progress; and he would often
catch her following his movements with those great eyes of hers;
while the sheep…dogs would lie perfectly still at her feet;
blinking horriblysuch was her attraction。 His birds also; a
jackdaw and an owl; who had the run of the studio; tolerated her as
they tolerated no other female; save the housekeeper。 The jackdaw
would perch on her and peck her dress; but the owl merely engaged
her in combats of mesmeric gazing; which never ended in victory for
either。
Now that she was with them; Oliver Dromore began to haunt the
house; coming at all hours; on very transparent excuses。 She
behaved to him with extreme capriciousness; sometimes hardly
speaking; sometimes treating him like a brother; and in spite of
all his nonchalance; the poor youth would just sit glowering; or
gazing out his adoration; according to her mood。
One of these July evenings Lennan remembered beyond all others。 He
had come; after a hard day's work; out from his studio into the
courtyard garden to smoke a cigarette and feel the sun on his cheek
before it sank behind the wall。 A piano…organ far away was
grinding out a waltz; and on an hydrangea tub; under the drawing…
room window; he sat down to listen。 Nothing was visible from
there; save just the square patch of a quite blue sky; and one soft
plume of smoke from his own kitchen chimney; nothing audible save
that tune; and the never…ending street murmur。 Twice birds flew
acrossstarlings。 It was very peaceful; and his thoughts went
floating like the smoke of his cigarette; to meet who…knew…what
other thoughtsfor thoughts; no doubt; had little swift lives of
their own; desired; found their mates; and; lightly blending; sent
forth offspring。 Why not? All things were possible in this
wonder…house of a world。 Even that waltz tune; floating away;
would find some melody to wed; and twine with; and produce a fresh
chord that might float in turn to catch the hum of a gnat or fly;
and breed again。 Queerhow everything sought to entwine with
something else! On one of the pinkish blooms of the hydrangea he
noted a beeof all things; in this hidden…away garden of tiles and
gravel and plants in tubs! The little furry; lonely thing was
drowsily clinging there; as if it had forgotten what it had come
forseduced; maybe; like himself; from labour by these last rays
of the sun。 Its wings; close…furled; were glistening; its eyes
seemed closed。 And the piano…organ played on; a tune of yearning;
waiting; yearning。 。 。 。
Then; through the window above his head; he heard Oliver Dromorea
voice one could always tell; pitched high; with its slight drawl
pleading; very softly at first; then insistent; imperious; and
suddenly Nell's answering voice:
〃I won't; Oliver! I won't! I won't!〃
He rose to go out of earshot。 Then a door slammed; and he saw her
at the window above him; her waist on a level with his head;
flushed; with her grey eyes ominously bright; her full lips parted。
And he said:
〃What is it; Nell?〃
She leaned down and caught his hand; her touch was fiery hot。
〃He kissed me! I won't let himI won't kiss him!〃
Through his head went a medley of sayings to soothe children that
are hurt; but he felt unsteady; unlike himself。 And suddenly she
knelt; and put her hot forehead against his lips。
It was as if she had really been a little child; wanting the place
kissed to make it well。
VII
After that strange outburst; Lennan considered long whether he
should speak to Oliver。 But what could he say; from what
standpoint say it; andwith that feeling? Or should he speak to
Dromore? Not very easy to speak on such a subject to one off whose
turf all spiritual matters were so permanently warned。 Nor somehow
could he bring himself to tell Sylvia; it would be like violating a
confidence to speak of the child's outburst and that quivering
moment; when she had kneeled and put her hot forehead to his lips
for comfort。 Such a disclosure was for Nell herself to make; if
she so wished。
And then young Oliver solved the difficulty by coming to the studio
himself next day。 He entered with 'Dromore' composure; very well
groomed; in a silk hat; a cut…away black coat and charming lemon…
coloured gloves; what; indeed; the youth did; besides belonging to
the Yeomanry and hunting all the winter; seemed known only to
himself。 He made no excuse for interrupting Lennan; and for some
time sat silently smoking his cigarette; and pulling the ears of
the dogs。 And Lennan worked on; waiting。 There was always
something attractive to him in this young man's broad; good…looking
face; with its crisp dark hair; and half…insolent good humour; now
so clouded。
At last Oliver got up; and went over to the unfinished 'Girl on the
Magpie Horse。' Turning to it so that his face could not be seen;
he said:
〃You and Mrs。 Lennan have been awfully kind to me; I behaved rather
like a cad yesterday。 I thought I'd better tell you。 I want to
marry Nell; you know。〃
Lennan was glad that the young man's face was so religiously
averted。 He let his hands come to anchor on what he was working at
before he answered: 〃She's only a child; Oliver;〃 and then;
watching his fingers making an inept movement with the clay; was
astonished at himself。
〃She'll be eighteen this month;〃 he heard Oliver say。 〃If she once
gets outamongst peopleI don't know what I shall do。 Old
Johnny's no good to look after her。〃
The young man's face was very red; he was forgetting to hide it
now。 Then it went white; and he said through clenched teeth: 〃She
sends me mad! I don't know how not to If I don't get her; I
shall shoot myself。 I shall; you knowI'm that sort。 It's her
eyes。 They draw you right out of yourselfand leave you〃 And
from his gloved hand the smoked…out cigarette…end fell to the
floor。 〃They say her mother was like that。 Poor old Johnny!
D'you think I've got a chance; Mr。 Lennan? I don't mean now; this
minute; I know she's too young。〃
Lennan forced himself to answer。
〃I dare say; my dear fellow; I dare say。 Have you talked with my
wife?〃
Oliver shook his head。
〃She's so goodI don't think she'd quite understand my sort of
feeling。〃
A queer little smile came up on Lennan's lips。
〃Ah; well!〃 he said; 〃you must give the child time。 Perhaps when
she comes back from Ireland; after the summer。〃
The young man answered moodily:
〃Yes。 I've got the run of that; you know。 And I shan't be able to
keep away。〃 He took up his hat。 〃I suppose I oughtn't to have
come and bored you about this; but Nell thinks such a lot of you;
and; you being different to most peopleI thought you wouldn't
mind。〃 He turned again at the door。 〃It wasn't gas what I said
just nowabout not getting her。 Fellows say that sort of thing;
but I mean it。〃
He put on that shining hat and went。
And Lennan stood; staring at the statuette。 So! Passion broke
down even the defences of Dromoredom。 Passion! Strange hearts it
chose to bloom in!
'Being different to most peopleI thought you wouldn't mind'! How
had this youth known that Sylvia would not understand passion so
out of hand as this? And what had made it clear that he (Lennan)
would? Was there; then; something in his face? There must be!
Even Johnny Dromoremost reticent of creatureshad confided to
him that one hour of his astute existence; when the wind had swept
him out to sea!
Yes! And th