第 36 节
作者:飘雪的季节      更新:2023-08-22 20:47      字数:9321
  process hallowed by the peculiar sensation felt when one rubbed the
  palms of the hands together; the sensation that accompanied all
  creative achievement。  Once only Dromore paused to turn his head
  and say:
  〃Bally hard; gettin' a taproot right!〃
  Real Art!  How well an artist knew that desperate search after the
  point of balance; the central rivet that must be found before a
  form would come to life。 。 。 。  And he noted that to…day there was
  no kitten; no flowers; no sense at all of an extraneous presence
  even the picture was curtained。  Had the girl been just a dreama
  fancy conjured up by his craving after youth?
  Then he saw that Dromore had dropped the large green book; and was
  standing before the fire。
  〃Nell took to you the other day。  But you always were a lady's man。
  Remember the girl at Coaster's?〃
  Coaster's tea…shop; where he would go every afternoon that he had
  money; just for the pleasure of looking shyly at a face。  Something
  beautiful to look atnothing more!  Johnny Dromore would no better
  understand that now than when they were at 'Bambury's。'  Not the
  smallest good even trying to explain!  He looked up at the goggling
  eyes; he heard the bantering voice:
  〃I sayyou ARE goin' grey。  We're bally old; Lenny!  A fellow gets
  old when he marries。〃
  And he answered:
  〃By the way; I never knew that YOU had been。〃
  From Dromore's face the chaffing look went; like a candle…flame
  blown out; and a coppery flush spread over it。  For some seconds he
  did not speak; then; jerking his head towards the picture; he
  muttered gruffly:
  〃Never had the chance of marrying; there; Nell's 'outside。'〃
  A sort of anger leaped in Lennan; why should Dromore speak that
  word as if he were ashamed of his own daughter?  Just like his
  sortnone so hidebound as men…about…town!  Flotsam on the tide of
  other men's opinions; poor devils adrift; without the one true
  anchorage of their own real feelings!  And doubtful whether Dromore
  would be pleased; or think him gushing; or even distrustful of his
  morality; he said:
  〃As for that; it would only make any decent man or woman nicer to
  her。  When is she going to let me teach her drawing?〃
  Dromore crossed the room; drew back the curtain of the picture; and
  in a muffled voice; said:
  〃My God; Lenny!  Life's unfair。  Nell's coming killed her mother。
  I'd rather it had been mebar chaff!  Women have no luck。〃
  Lennan got up from his comfortable chair。  For; startled out of the
  past; the memory of that summer night; when yet another woman had
  no luck; was flooding his heart with its black; inextinguishable
  grief。  He said quietly:
  〃The past IS past; old man。〃
  Dromore drew the curtain again across the picture; and came back to
  the fire。  And for a full minute he stared into it。
  〃What am I to do with Nell?  She's growing up。〃
  〃What have you done with her so far?〃
  〃She's been at school。  In the summer she goes to IrelandI've got
  a bit of an old place there。  She'll be eighteen in July。  I shall
  have to introduce her to women; and all that。  It's the devil!
  How?  Who?〃
  Lennan could only murmur: 〃My wife; for one。〃
  He took his leave soon after。  Johnny Dromore!  Bizarre guardian
  for that child!  Queer life she must have of it; in that bachelor's
  den; surrounded by Ruff's Guides!  What would become of her?
  Caught up by some young spark about town; married to him; no doubt
  her father would see to the thoroughness of that; his standard of
  respectability was evidently high!  And aftergo the way; maybe;
  of her motherthat poor thing in the picture with the alluring;
  desperate face。  Well!  It was no business of his!
  IV
  No business of his!  The merest sense of comradeship; then; took
  him once more to Dromore's after that disclosure; to prove that the
  word 'outside' had no significance save in his friend's own fancy;
  to assure him again that Sylvia would be very glad to welcome the
  child at any time she liked to come。
  When he had told her of that little matter of Nell's birth; she had
  been silent a long minute; looking in his face; and then had said:
  〃Poor child!  I wonder if SHE knows!  People are so unkind; even
  nowadays!〃  He could not himself think of anyone who would pay
  attention to such a thing; except to be kinder to the girl; but in
  such matters Sylvia was the better judge; in closer touch with
  general thought。  She met people that he did notand of a more
  normal species。
  It was rather late when he got to Dromore's diggings on that third
  visit。
  〃Mr。 Dromore; sir;〃 the man saidhe had one of those strictly
  confidential faces bestowed by an all…wise Providence on servants
  in the neighbourhood of Piccadilly〃Mr。 Dromore; sir; is not in。
  But he will be almost sure to be in to dress。  Miss Nell is in;
  sir。〃
  And there she was; sitting at the table; pasting photographs into
  an albumlonely young creature in that abode of male middle…age!
  Lennan stood; unheard; gazing at the back of her head; with its
  thick crinkly…brown hair tied back on her dark…red frock。  And; to
  the confidential man's soft:
  〃Mr。 Lennan; miss;〃 he added a softer: 〃May I come in?〃
  She put her hand into his with intense composure。
  〃Oh; yes; do! if you don't mind the mess I'm making;〃 and; with a
  little squeeze of the tips of his fingers; added: 〃Would it bore
  you to see my photographs?〃
  And down they sat together before the photographssnapshots of
  people with guns or fishing…rods; little groups of schoolgirls;
  kittens; Dromore and herself on horseback; and several of a young
  man with a broad; daring; rather good…looking face。  〃That's
  OliverOliver DromoreDad's first cousin once removed。  Rather
  nice; isn't he?  Do you like his expression?〃
  Lennan did not know。  Not her second cousin; her father's first
  cousin once removed!  And again there leaped in him that
  unreasoning flame of indignant pity。
  〃And how about drawing?  You haven't come to be taught yet。〃
  She went almost as red as her frock。
  〃I thought you were only being polite。  I oughtn't to have asked。
  Of course; I want to awfullyonly I know it'll bore you。〃
  〃It won't at all。〃
  She looked up at that。  What peculiar languorous eyes they were!
  〃Shall I come to…morrow; then?〃
  〃Any day you like; between half…past twelve and one。〃
  〃Where?〃
  He took out a card。
  〃Mark LennanyesI like your name。  I liked it the other day。
  It's awfully nice!〃
  What was in a name that she should like him because of it?  His
  fame as a sculptorsuch as it wascould have nothing to do with
  that; for she would certainly not know of it。  Ah! but there was a
  lot in a namefor children。  In his childhood what fascination
  there had been in the words macaroon; and Spaniard; and Carinola;
  and Aldebaran; and Mr。 McCrae。  For quite a week the whole world
  had been Mr。 McCraea most ordinary friend of Gordy's。
  By whatever fascination moved; she talked freely enough nowof her
  school; of riding and motoringshe seemed to love going very fast;
  about Newmarketwhich was 'perfect'; and theatresplays of the
  type that Johnny Dromore might be expected to approve; these
  together with 'Hamlet' and 'King Lear' were all she had seen。
  Never was a girl so untouched by thought; or Artyet not stupid;
  having; seemingly; a certain natural good taste; only; nothing;
  evidently; had come her way。  How could it'Johnny Dromore duce;
  et auspice Johnny Dromore!'  She had been taken; indeed; to the
  National Gallery while at school。  And Lennan had a vision of eight
  or ten young maidens trailing round at the skirts of one old
  maiden; admiring Landseer's dogs; giggling faintly at Botticelli's
  angels; gaping; rustling; chattering like young birds in a
  shrubbery。
  But with all her surroundings; this child of Johnny Dromoredom was
  as yet more innocent than cultured girls of the same age。  If those
  grey; mesmeric eyes of hers followed him about; they did so
  frankly; unconsciously。  There was no minx in her; so far。
  An hour went by; and Dromore did not come。  And the loneliness of
  this young creature in her incongruous abode began telling on
  Lennan's equanimity。
  What did she do in the evenings?
  〃Sometimes I go to the theatre with Dad; generally I stay at home。〃
  〃And then?〃
  〃Oh!  I just read; or talk French。〃
  〃What?  To yourself?〃
  〃Yes; or to Oliver sometimes; when he comes in。〃
  So Oliver came in!
  〃How long have you known Oliver?〃
  〃Oh! ever since I was a child。〃
  He wanted to say: And how long is that?  But managed to refrain;
  and got up to go instead。  She caught his sleeve and said:
  〃You're not to go!〃  Saying that she looked as a dog will; going to
  bite in fun; her upper lip shortened above her small white teeth
  set fast on her lower lip; and her chin thrust a little forward。  A
  glimpse of a wilful spirit!  But as soon as he had smiled; and
  murmured:
  〃Ah! but I must; you see!〃 she at once regained her manners; only
  saying rather mournfully: 〃You don't call me by my name。  Don't you
  like it?〃
  〃Nell?〃
  〃Yes。  It's really Eleanor; of course。  DON'T you like it?〃
  If he had detested the name; he could only have answered: 〃Very
  much。〃
  〃I'm awfully glad!  Good…bye。〃
  When he got out into the street; he felt terribly like a man