第 19 节
作者:
飘雪的季节 更新:2023-08-22 20:47 字数:9321
has a niece。
〃No doubt;〃 she murmured。
Something vague moved deep down in the Colonel; he stretched out
his hand。 In that strip of gloom between the beds it encountered
another hand; which squeezed it rather hard。
He said: 〃Look here; old girl!〃 and there was silence。
Mrs。 Ercott in her turn was thinking。 Her thoughts were flat and
rapid like her voice; but had that sort of sentiment which
accompanies the mental exercise of women with good hearts。 Poor
young man! And poor Olive! But was a woman ever to be pitied;
when she was so pretty as that! Besides; when all was said and
done; she had a fine…looking man for husband; in Parliament; with a
career; and fond of herdecidedly。 And their little house in
London; so close to Westminster; was a distinct dear; and nothing
could be more charming than their cottage by the river。 Was Olive;
then; to be pitied? And yetshe was not happy。 It was no good
pretending that she was happy。 All very well to say that such
things were within one's control; but if you read novels at all;
you knew they weren't。 There was such a thing as incompatibility。
Oh yes! And there was the matter of difference in their ages!
Olive was twenty…six; Robert Cramier forty…two。 And now this young
Mark Lennan was in love with her。 What if she were in love with
him! John would realize then; perhaps; that the young flew to the
young。 For meneven the best; like John; were funny! She would
never dream of feeling for any of her nephews as John clearly felt
for Olive。
The Colonel's voice broke in on her thoughts。
〃Nice young fellowLennan! Great pity! Better sheer offif he's
getting〃
And; rather suddenly; she answered:
〃Suppose he can't!〃
〃Can't?〃
〃Did you never hear of a 'grande passion'?〃
The Colonel rose on his elbow。 This was another of those occasions
that showed him how; during the later years of his service in
Madras and Upper Burmah; when Dolly's health had not been equal to
the heat; she had picked up in London a queer way of looking at
thingsas if they were notnot so right or wrong asas he felt
them to be。 And he repeated those two French words in his own way;
adding:
〃Isn't that just what I'm saying? The sooner he stands clear; the
better。〃
But Mrs。 Ercott; too; sat up。
〃Be human;〃 she said。
The Colonel experienced the same sensation as when one suddenly
knows that one is not digesting food。 Because young Lennan was in
danger of getting into a dishonourable fix; he was told to be
human! Really; Dolly was! The white blur of her new boudoir cap
suddenly impinged on his consciousness。 Surely she was not
gettingun…English! At her time of life!
〃I'm thinking of Olive;〃 he said; 〃I don't want her worried with
that sort of thing。〃
〃Perhaps Olive can manage for herself。 In these days it doesn't do
to interfere with love。〃
〃Love!〃 muttered the Colonel。 〃What? Phew!〃
If one's own wife called thisthis sort ofthing; lovethen; why
had he been faithful to herin very hot climatesall these years?
A sense of waste; and of injustice; tried to rear its head against
all the side of him that attached certain meanings to certain
words; and acted up to them。 And this revolt gave him a feeling;
strange and so unpleasant。 Love! It was not a word to use thus
loosely! Love led to marriage; this could not lead to marriage;
except throughthe Divorce Court。 And suddenly the Colonel had a
vision of his dead brother Lindsay; Olive's father; standing there
in the dark; with his grave; clear…cut; ivory…pale face; under the
black hair supposed to be derived from a French ancestress who had
escaped from the massacre of St。 Bartholomew。 Upright fellow
always; Lindsayeven before he was made bishop! Queer somehow
that Olive should be his daughter。 Not that she was not upright;
not at all! But she was soft! Lindsay was not! Imagine him
seeing that young fellow putting her handkerchief in his pocket。
But had young Lennan really done such a thing? Dolly was
imaginative! He had mistaken it probably for his own; if he had
chanced to blow his nose; he would have realized。 For; coupled
with the almost child…like candour of his mind; the Colonel had
real administrative vigour; a true sense of practical values; an
ounce of illustration was always worth to him a pound of theory!
Dolly was given to riding off on theories。 Thank God! she never
acted on 'em!
He said gently:
〃My dear! Young Lennan may be an artist and all that; but he's a
gentleman! I know old Heatherley; his guardian。 Why I introduced
him to Olive myself!〃
〃What has that to do with it? He's in love with her。〃
One of the countless legion that hold a creed taken at face value;
into whose roots and reasons they have never dreamed of going; the
Colonel was staggered。 Like some native on an island surrounded by
troubled seas; which he has stared at with a certain contemptuous
awe all his life; but never entered; he was disconcerted by thus
being asked to leave the shore。 And by his own wife!
Indeed; Mrs。 Ercott had not intended to go so far; but there was in
her; as in all women whose minds are more active than their
husbands'; a something worrying her always to go a little farther
than she meant。 With real compunction she heard the Colonel say:
〃I must get up and drink some water。〃
She was out of bed in a moment。 〃Not without boiling!〃
She had seriously troubled him; then! Now he would not sleepthe
blood went to his head so quickly。 He would just lie awake; trying
not to disturb her。 She could not bear him not to disturb her。 It
seemed so selfish of her! She ought to have known that the whole
subject was too dangerous to discuss at night。
She became conscious that he was standing just behind her; his
figure in its thin covering looked very lean; his face strangely
worn。
〃I'm sorry you put that idea into my head!〃 he said。 〃I'm fond of
Olive。〃
Again Mrs。 Ercott felt that jealous twinge; soon lost this time in
the motherliness of a childless woman for her husband。 He must not
be troubled! He should not be troubled。 And she said:
〃The water's boiling! Now sip a good glass slowly; and get into
bed; or I'll take your temperature!〃
Obediently the Colonel took from her the glass; and as he sipped;
she put her hand up and stroked his head。
IV
In the room below them the subject of their discussion was lying
very wide awake。 She knew that she had betrayed herself; made
plain to Mark Lennan what she had never until now admitted to
herself。 But the love…look; which for the life of her she could
not keep back; had been followed by a feeling of having 'lost
caste。' For; hitherto; the world of women had been strictly
divided by her into those who did and those who did not do such
things; and to be no longer quite sure to which half she belonged
was frightening。 But what was the good of thinking; of being
frightened?it could not lead to anything。 Yesterday she had not
known this would come; and now she could not guess at to…morrow!
To…night was enough! To…night with its swimming loveliness! Just
to feel! To love; and to be loved!
A new sensation for heras different from those excited by the
courtships of her girlhood; or by her marriage; as light from
darkness。 For she had never been in love; not even with her
husband。 She knew it now。 The sun was shining in a world where
she had thought there was none。 Nothing could come of it。 But the
sun was shining; and in that sunshine she must warm herself a
little。
Quite simply she began to plan what he and she would do。 There
were six days left。 They had not yet been to Gorbio; nor to
Castellarnone of those long walks or rides they had designed to
do for the beauty of them。 Would he come early to…morrow? What
could they do together? No one should know what these six days
would be to hernot even he。 To be with him; watch his face; hear
his voice; and now and then just touch him! She could trust
herself to show no one。 And then; it would beover! Though; of
course; she would see him again in London。
And; lying there in the dark; she thought of their first meeting;
one Sunday morning; in Hyde Park。 The Colonel religiously observed
Church Parade; and would even come all the way down to Westminster;
from his flat near Knightsbridge; in order to fetch his niece up to
it。 She remembered how; during their stroll; he had stopped
suddenly in front of an old gentleman with a puffy yellow face and
eyes half open。
〃Ah! Mr。 Heatherleyyou up from Devonshire? How's your nephew
theersculptor?〃
And the old gentleman; glaring a little; as it seemed to her; from
under his eyelids and his grey top hat; had answered: 〃Colonel
Ercott; I think? Here's the fellow himselfMark!〃 And a young
man had taken off his hat。 She had only noticed at first that his
dark hair grewnot longbut very thick; and that his eyes were
very deep…set。 Then she saw him smile; it made his face all eager;
yet left it shy; and she decided that he was nice。 Soon after; she
had gone with the Ercotts to see his 'things'; for it was; of
course; and especially in those days; quite an event to know a
sculptorrather