第 12 节
作者:飘雪的季节      更新:2023-08-22 20:47      字数:9322
  in the roof; and down in the pews; and the sunlight brightening the
  South windows。  All the same; it would have been much jollier just
  taking hands by themselves somewhere; and saying out before God
  what they really feltbecause; after all; God was everything;
  everywhere; not only in stuffy churches。  That was how HE would
  like to be married; out of doors on a starry night like this; when
  everything felt wonderful all round you。  Surely God wasn't half as
  small as people seemed always making Hima sort of superior man a
  little bigger than themselves!  Even the very most beautiful and
  wonderful and awful things one could imagine or make; could only be
  just nothing to a God who had a temple like the night out there。
  But then you couldn't be married alone; and no girl would ever like
  to be married without rings and flowers and dresses; and words that
  made it all feel small and cosy!  Cis might have; perhaps; only she
  wouldn't; because of not hurting other people's feelings; but
  Sylvianevershe would be afraid。  Only; of course; she was
  young!  And the thread of his thoughts brokeand scattered like
  beads from a string。
  Leaning out; and resting his chin on his hands; he drew the night
  air into his lungs。  Honeysuckle; or was it the scent of lilies
  still?  The stars all out; and lots of owls to…nightfour at
  least。  What would night be like without owls and stars?  But that
  was ityou never could think what things would be like if they
  weren't just what and where they were。  You never knew what was
  coming; either; and yet; when it came; it seemed as if nothing else
  ever could have come。  That was queer…you could do anything you
  liked until you'd done it; but when you HAD done it; then you knew;
  of course; that you must always have had to 。 。 。  What was that
  light; below and to the left?  Whose room?  Old Tingle'sno; the
  little spare roomSylvia's!  She must be awake; then!  He leaned
  far out; and whispered in the voice she had said was still furry:
  〃Sylvia!〃
  The light flickered; he could just see her head appear; with hair
  all loose; and her face turning up to him。  He could only half see;
  half imagine it; mysterious; blurry; and he whispered:
  〃Isn't this jolly?〃
  The whisper travelled back:
  〃Awfully。〃
  〃Aren't you sleepy?〃
  〃No; are you?〃
  〃Not a bit。  D'you hear the owls?〃
  〃Rather。〃
  〃Doesn't it smell good?〃
  〃Perfect。  Can you see me?〃
  〃Only just; not too much。  Can you?〃
  〃I can't see your nose。  Shall I get the candle?〃
  〃Nothat'd spoil it。  What are you sitting on?〃
  〃The window sill。〃
  〃It doesn't twist your neck; does it?〃
  〃Nooonly a little bit。〃
  〃Are you hungry?〃
  〃Yes。〃
  〃Wait half a shake。  I'll let down some chocolate in my big bath
  towel; it'll swing along to youreach out。〃
  A dim white arm reached out。
  〃Catch!  I say; you won't get cold?〃
  〃Rather not。〃
  〃It's too jolly to sleep; isn't it?〃
  〃Mark!〃
  〃Yes。〃
  〃Which star is yours?  Mine is the white one over the top branch of
  the big sycamore; from here。〃
  〃Mine is that twinkling red one over the summer house。  Sylvia!〃
  〃Yes。〃
  〃Catch!〃
  〃Oh!  I couldn'twhat was it?〃
  〃Nothing。〃
  〃No; but what WAS it?〃
  〃Only my star。  It's caught in your hair。〃
  〃Oh!〃
  〃Listen!〃
  Silence; then; until her awed whisper:
  〃What?〃
  And his floating down; dying away:
  〃CAVE!〃
  What had stirredsome window opened?  Cautiously he spied along
  the face of the dim house。  There was no light anywhere; nor any
  shifting blur of white at her window below。  All was dark; remote
  still sweet with the scent of something jolly。  And then he saw
  what that something was。  All over the wall below his window white
  jessamine was in flowerstars; not only in the sky。  Perhaps the
  sky was really a field of white flowers; and God walked there; and
  plucked the stars。 。 。 。
  The next morning there was a letter on his plate when he came down
  to breakfast。  He couldn't open it with Sylvia on one side of him;
  and old Tingle on the other。  Then with a sort of anger he did open
  it。  He need not have been afraid。  It was written so that anyone
  might have read; it told of a climb; of bad weather; said they were
  coming home。  Was he relieved; disturbed; pleased at their coming
  back; or only uneasily ashamed?  She had not got his second letter
  yet。  He could feel old Tingle looking round at him with those
  queer sharp twinkling eyes of hers; and Sylvia regarding him quite
  frankly。  And conscious that he was growing red; he said to
  himself: 'I won't!'  And did not。  In three days they would be at
  Oxford。  Would they come on here at once?  Old Tingle was speaking。
  He heard Sylvia answer: 〃No; I don't like 'bopsies。'  They're so
  hard!〃  It was their old name for high cheekbones。  Sylvia
  certainly had none; her cheeks went softly up to her eyes。
  〃Do you; Mark?〃
  He said slowly:
  〃On some people。〃
  〃People who have them are strong…willed; aren't they?〃
  Was SHEAnnastrong…willed?  It came to him that he did not know
  at all what she was。
  When breakfast was over and he had got away to his old greenhouse;
  he had a strange; unhappy time。  He was a beast; he had not been
  thinking of her half enough!  He took the letter out; and frowned
  at it horribly。  Why could he not feel more?  What was the matter
  with him?  Why was he such a brutenot to be thinking of her day
  and night?  For long he stood; disconsolate; in the little dark
  greenhouse among the images of his beasts; the letter in his hand。
  He stole out presently; and got down to the river unobserved。
  Comfortingthat crisp; gentle sound of water; ever so comforting
  to sit on a stone; very still; and wait for things to happen round
  you。  You lost yourself that way; just became branches; and stones;
  and water; and birds; and sky。  You did not feel such a beast。
  Gordy would never understand why he did not care for fishingone
  thing trying to catch anotherinstead of watching and
  understanding what things were。  You never got to the end of
  looking into water; or grass or fern; always something queer and
  new。  It was like that; too; with yourself; if you sat down and
  looked properlymost awfully interesting to see things working in
  your mind。
  A soft rain had begun to fall; hissing gently on the leaves; but he
  had still a boy's love of getting wet; and stayed where he was; on
  the stone。  Some people saw fairies in woods and down in water; or
  said they did; that did not seem to him much fun。  What was really
  interesting was noticing that each thing was different from every
  other thing; and what made it so; you must see that before you
  could draw or model decently。  It was fascinating to see your
  creatures coming out with shapes of their very own; they did that
  without your understanding how。  But this vacation he was no good
  couldn't draw or model a bit!
  A jay had settled about forty yards away; and remained in full
  view; attending to his many…coloured feathers。  Of all things;
  birds were the most fascinating!  He watched it a long time; and
  when it flew on; followed it over the high wall up into the park。
  He heard the lunch…bell ring in the far distance; but did not go
  in。  So long as he was out there in the soft rain with the birds
  and trees and other creatures; he was free from that unhappy
  feeling of the morning。  He did not go back till nearly seven;
  properly wet through; and very hungry。
  All through dinner he noticed that Sylvia seemed to be watching
  him; as if wanting to ask him something。  She looked very soft in
  her white frock; open at the neck; and her hair almost the colour
  of special moonlight; so goldy…pale; and he wanted her to
  understand that it wasn't a bit because of her that he had been out
  alone all day。  After dinner; when they were getting the table
  ready to play 'red nines;' he did murmur:
  〃Did you sleep last nightafter?〃
  She nodded fervently to that。
  It was raining really hard now; swishing and dripping out in the
  darkness; and he whispered:
  〃Our stars would be drowned to…night。〃
  〃Do you really think we have stars?〃
  〃We might。  But mine's safe; of course; your hair IS jolly;
  Sylvia。〃
  She gazed at him; very sweet and surprised。
  XIV
  Anna did not receive the boy's letter in the Tyrol。  It followed
  her to Oxford。  She was just going out when it came; and she took
  it up with the mingled beatitude and almost sickening tremor that a
  lover feels touching the loved one's letter。  She would not open it
  in the street; but carried it all the way to the garden of a
  certain College; and sat down to read it under the cedar…tree。
  That little letter; so short; boyish; and dry; transported her
  halfway to heaven。  She was to see him again at once; not to wait
  weeks; with the fear that he would quite forget her!  Her husband
  had said at breakfast that Oxford without 'the dear young clowns'
  assuredly was charming; but Oxford 'full of tourists and other
  strange bodies' as certainly was not。  Where should they go?  Thank
  heaven; the letter could be shown him!  For all that; a little stab
  of pain went through her that there was not one word which made it
  unsuitable to show。  Still; she was happy。  Never had her favourite
  College garden seemed so beauti