第 6 节
作者:飘雪的季节      更新:2023-08-22 20:47      字数:9321
  It looked cruel somehow; sagged all crooked; and out of place up
  here; a piece of bad manners; as if people with only one idea had
  dragged it in; without caring whether or no it suited what was
  around it。  One might just as well introduce one of these rocks
  into that jolly dark church where he had left her the other day; as
  put a cross up here。
  A sound of bells; and of sniffing and scuffling; roused him; a
  large grey goat had come up and was smelling at his hairthe
  leader of a flock; that were soon all round him; solemnly curious;
  with their queer yellow oblong…pupilled eyes; and their quaint
  little beards and tails。  Awfully decent beastsand friendly!
  What jolly things to model!  He lay still (having learnt from the
  fisherman; his guardian; that necessary habit in the presence of
  all beasts); while the leader sampled the flavour of his neck。  The
  passage of that long rough tongue athwart his skin gave him an
  agreeable sensation; awakened a strange deep sense of comradeship。
  He restrained his desire to stroke the creature's nose。  It
  appeared that they now all wished to taste his neck; but some were
  timid; and the touch of their tongues simply a tickle; so that he
  was compelled to laugh; and at that peculiar sound they withdrew
  and gazed at him。  There seemed to be no one with them; then; at a
  little distance; quite motionless in the shade of a rock; he spied
  the goatherd; a boy about his own age。  How lonely he must be up
  here all day!  Perhaps he talked to his goats。  He looked as if he
  might。  One would get to have queer thoughts up here; get to know
  the rocks; and clouds; and beasts; and what they all meant。  The
  goatherd uttered a peculiar whistle; and something; Lennan could
  not tell exactly what; happened among the goatsa sort of 〃Here;
  Sir!〃 seemed to come from them。  And then the goatherd moved out
  from the shade and went over to the edge of the plateau; and two of
  the goats that were feeding there thrust their noses into his hand;
  and rubbed themselves against his legs。  The three looked beautiful
  standing there together on the edge against the sky。 。 。 。
  That night; after dinner; the dining…room was cleared for dancing;
  so that the guests might feel freedom and gaiety in the air。  And;
  indeed; presently; a couple began sawing up and down over the
  polished boards; in the apologetic manner peculiar to hotel guests。
  Then three pairs of Italians suddenly launched themselves into
  spacetwirling and twirling; and glaring into each other's eyes;
  and some Americans; stimulated by their precept; began airily
  backing and filling。  Two of the 'English Grundys' with carefully
  amused faces next moved out。  To Lennan it seemed that they all
  danced very well; better than he could。  Did he dare ask HER?  Then
  he saw the young violinist go up; saw her rise and take his arm and
  vanish into the dancing…room; and leaning his forehead against a
  window…pane; with a sick; beaten feeling; he stayed; looking out
  into the moonlight; seeing nothing。  He heard his name spoken; his
  tutor was standing beside him。
  〃You and I; Lennan; must console each other。  Dancing's for the
  young; eh?〃
  Fortunately it was the boy's instinct and his training not to show
  his feelings; to be pleasant; though suffering。
  〃Yes; sir。  Jolly moonlight; isn't it; out there?〃
  〃Ah! very jolly; yes。  When I was your age I twirled the light
  fantastic with the best。  But gradually; Lennan; one came to see it
  could not be done without a partnerthere was the rub!  Tell me
  do you regard women as responsible beings?  I should like to have
  your opinion on that。〃
  It was; of course; ironicalyet there was something in those
  wordssomething!
  〃I think it's you; sir; who ought to give me yours。〃
  〃My dear Lennanmy experience is a mere nothing!〃
  That was meant for unkindness to her!  He would not answer。  If
  only Stormer would go away!  The music had stopped。  They would be
  sitting out somewhere; talking!  He made an effort; and said:
  〃I was up the hill at the back this morning; where the cross is。
  There were some jolly goats。〃
  And suddenly he saw her coming。  She was aloneflushed; smiling;
  it struck him that her frock was the same colour as the moonlight。
  〃Harold; will you dance?〃
  He would say 'Yes;' and she would be gone again!  But his tutor
  only made her a little bow; and said with that smile of his:
  〃Lennan and I have agreed that dancing is for the young。〃
  〃Sometimes the old must sacrifice themselves。  Mark; will you
  dance?〃
  Behind him he heard his tutor murmur:
  〃Ah!  Lennanyou betray me!〃
  That little silent journey with her to the dancing…room was the
  happiest moment perhaps that he had ever known。  And he need not
  have been so much afraid about his dancing。  Truly; it was not
  polished; but it could not spoil hers; so light; firm; buoyant!  It
  was wonderful to dance with her。  Only when the music stopped and
  they sat down did he know how his head was going round。  He felt
  strange; very strange indeed。  He heard her say:
  〃What is it; dear boy?  You look so white!〃
  Without quite knowing what he did; he bent his face towards the
  hand that she had laid on his sleeve; then knew no more; having
  fainted。
  VIII
  Growing boyover…exertion in the morning!  That was all!  He was
  himself very quickly; and walked up to bed without assistance。
  Rotten of him!  Never was anyone more ashamed of his little
  weakness than this boy。  Now that he was really a trifle
  indisposed; he simply could not bear the idea of being nursed at
  all or tended。  Almost rudely he had got away。  Only when he was in
  bed did he remember the look on her face as he left her。  How
  wistful and unhappy; seeming to implore him to forgive her!  As if
  there were anything to forgive!  As if she had not made him
  perfectly happy when she danced with him!  He longed to say to her:
  〃If I might be close to you like that one minute every day; then I
  don't mind all the rest!〃  Perhaps he would dare say that to…
  morrow。  Lying there he still felt a little funny。  He had
  forgotten to close the ribs of the blinds; and moonlight was
  filtering in; but he was too idle; too drowsy to get up now and do
  it。  They had given him brandy; rather a lotthat perhaps was the
  reason he felt so queer; not ill; but mazy; as if dreaming; as if
  he had lost the desire ever to move again。  Just to lie there; and
  watch the powdery moonlight; and hear faraway music throbbing down
  below; and still feel the touch of her; as in the dance she swayed
  against him; and all the time to have the scent about him of
  flowers!  His thoughts were dreams; his dreams thoughtsall
  precious unreality。  And then it seemed to him that the moonlight
  was gathered into a single slip of pallorthere was a thrumming; a
  throbbing; and that shape of moonlight moved towards him。  It came
  so close that he felt its warmth against his brow; it sighed;
  hovered; drew back soundless; and was gone。  He must have fallen
  then into dreamless sleep。 。 。 。
  What time was it when he was awakened by that delicate 'rat…tat' to
  see his tutor standing in the door…way with a cup of tea?
  Was young Lennan all right?  Yes; he was perfectly all rightwould
  be down directly!  It was most frightfully good of Mr。 Stormer to
  come!  He really didn't want anything。
  Yes; yes; but the maimed and the halt must be attended to!
  His face seemed to the boy very kind just thenonly to laugh at
  him a very littlejust enough。  And it was awfully decent of him
  to have come; and to stand there while he drank the tea。  He was
  really all right; but for a little headache。  Many times while he
  was dressing he stood still; trying to remember。  That white slip
  of moonlight?  Was it moonlight?  Was it part of a dream; or was
  it; could it have been she; in her moonlight…coloured frock?  Why
  had he not stayed awake?  He would not dare to ask her; and now
  would never know whether the vague memory of warmth on his brow had
  been a kiss。
  He breakfasted alone in the room where they had danced。  There were
  two letters for him。  One from his guardian enclosing money; and
  complaining of the shyness of the trout; the other from his sister。
  The man she was engaged tohe was a budding diplomat; attached to
  the Embassy at Romewas afraid that his leave was going to be
  curtailed。  They would have to be married at once。  They might even
  have to get a special licence。  It was lucky Mark was coming back
  so soon。  They simply MUST have him for best man。  The only
  bridesmaid now would be Sylvia。 。 。 。  Sylvia Doone?  Why; she was
  only a kid!  And the memory of a little girl in a very short
  holland frock; with flaxen hair; pretty blue eyes; and a face so
  fair that you could almost see through it; came up before him。  But
  that; of course; was six years ago; she would not still be in a
  frock that showed her knees; or wear beads; or be afraid of bulls
  that were never there。  It was stupid being best manthey might
  have got some decent chap!  And then he forgot allfor there was
  SHE; out on the terrace。  In his rush to join her he passed several
  of the 'English Grundys;' who stared at him askance。  Indeed; his
  conduct of the night before might well have upset them。  An Oxford
  man;