第 26 节
作者:
美丽心点 更新:2023-05-17 13:23 字数:9322
had taken possession of him。
Leaving the saloon; he walked away twenty steps and leaned in the
open doorway of Lutz; the barber。 He and Lutz were friends; masking their
sentiments behind abuse and bludgeons of repartee。
〃Irish loafer;〃 roared Lutz; 〃how do you do? So; not yet haf der
bolicemans or der catcher of dogs done deir duty!〃
〃Hello; Dutch;〃 said Mr。 McQuirk。 〃Can't get your mind off of
frankfurters; can you?〃
〃Bah!〃 exclaimed the German; coming and lean… ing in the door。 〃I haf
a soul above frankfurters to…day。 Dere is springtime in der air。 I can feel it
coming in ofer der mud of der streets and das ice in der river。 Soon will
dere be bienics in der islands; mit kegs of beer under der trees。〃
〃Say;〃 said Mr。 McQuirk; setting his bat on one side; 〃is everybody
kiddin' me about gentle Spring? There ain't any more spring in the air than
there is in a horsehair sofa in a Second Avenue furnished room。 For me the
winter underwear yet and the buckwheat cakes。〃
〃You haf no boetry;〃 said Lutz。 True; it is yedt cold; und in der city we
haf not many of der signs; but dere are dree kinds of beoble dot should
always feel der'approach of spring first dey are boets; lovers and poor
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vidows。〃
Mr。 McQuirk went on his way; still possessed by the strange
perturbation that he did not understand。 Something was lacking to his
comfort; and it made him half angry because be did not know what it was。
Two blocks away he came upon a foe; one Conover; whom he was bound
in honor to engage in combat。
Mr。 McQuirk made the attack with the charac… teristic suddenness and
fierceness that had gained for him the endearing sobriquet of 〃Tiger。〃 The
de… fence of Mr。 Conover was so prompt and admirable that the conflict
was protracted until the onlookers un… selfishly gave the warning cry of
〃Cheese it the cop!〃 The principals escaped easily by running through
the nearest open doors into the communi… cating backyards at the rear of
the houses。
Mr。 McQuirk emerged into another street。 He stood by a lamp…post for
a few minutes engaged in thought and then he turned and plunged into a
small notion and news shop。 A red…haired young woman; eating gum…
drops; came and looked freezingly at him across the ice…bound steppes of
the counter。
〃Say; lady;〃 he said; 〃have you got a song book with this in it。 Let's see
bow it leads off
〃When the springtime comes well wander in the dale; love;
And whisper of those days of yore 〃
〃I'm having a friend;〃 explained Mr。 McQuirk; 〃laid up with a broken
leg; and he sent me after it。 He's a devil for songs and poetry when he can't
get out to drink。〃
〃We have not;〃 replied the young woman; with un… concealed
contempt。 〃But there is a new song out that begins this way:
〃'Let us sit together in the old armchair;
And while the firelight flickers we'll be comfortable there。'〃
There will be no profit in following Mr。 〃Tiger〃 McQuirk through his
further vagaries of that day until he comes to stand knocking at the door of
Annie Maria Doyle。 The goddess Eastre; it seems; had guided his footsteps
aright at last。
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〃Is that you now; Jimmy McQuirk?〃 she cried; smiling through the
opened door (Annie Maria had never accepted the 〃Tiger〃)。 〃Well;
whatever!〃 〃Come out in the ball;〃 said Mr。 McQuirk。 〃I want to ask yer
opinion of the weather … on the level。〃
〃Are you crazy; sure?〃 said Annie Maria。
〃I am;〃 said the 〃Tiger。〃 〃They've been telling me all day there was
spring in the air。 Were they liars? Or am I?〃
〃Dear me!〃 said Annie Maria 〃haven't you no… ticed it? I can almost
smell the violets。 And the green grass。 Of course; there ain't any yet it's
just a kind of feeling; you know。〃
〃That's what I'm getting at;〃 said Mr。 McQuirk。 I've had it。 I didn't
recognize it at first。 I thought maybe it was en…wee; contracted the other
day when I stepped above Fourteenth Street。 But the katzenjammer I've
got don't spell violets。 It spells yer own name; Annie Maria; and it's you I
want。 I go to work next Monday; and I make four dollars a day。 Spiel up;
old girl do we make a team?〃
〃Jimmy;〃 sighed Annie Maria; suddenly disap… pearing in his overcoat;
〃don't you see that spring is all over the world right this minute?〃
But you yourself remember how that day ended。 Beginning with so
fine a promise of vernal things; late in the afternoon the air chilled and an
inch of snow fell even so late in March。 On Fifth Ave… nue the ladies
drew their winter furs close about them。 Only in the florists' windows
could be per… ceived any signs of the morning smile of the coming
goddess Eastre。
At six o'clock Herr Lutz began to close his shop。 He beard a well…
known shout: 〃Hello; Dutch!〃
〃Tiger〃 McQuirk; in his shirt…sleeves; with his hat on the back of his
bead; stood outside in the whirling snow; puffing at a black cigar。
〃Donnerwetter!〃 shouted Lutz; 〃der vinter; he has gome back again
yet!〃
〃Yer a liar; Dutch;〃 called back Mr。 McQuirk; with friendly geniality;
it's springtime; by the watch。〃
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THE FOOL…KILLER
Down South whenever any one perpetrates some particularly
monumental piece of foolishness every… body says: 〃Send for Jesse
Holmes。〃
Jesse Holmes is the Fool…Killer。 Of course he is a myth; like Santa
Claus and Jack Frost and General Prosperity and all those concrete
conceptions that are supposed to represent an idea that Nature has failed to
embody。 The wisest of the Southrons can… not tell you whence comes the
Fool…Killer's name; but few and happy are the households from the Ro…
anoke to the Rio Grande in which the name of Jesse Holmes has not been
pronounced or invoked。 Always with a smile; and often with a tear; is he
summoned to his official duty。 A busy man is Jesse Holmes。
I remember the clear picture of him that hung on the walls of my fancy
during my barefoot days when I was dodging his oft…threatened devoirs。
To me be was a terrible old man; in gray clothes; with a long; ragged; gray
beard; and reddish; fierce eyes。 I looked to see him come stumping up the
road in a cloud of dust; with a white oak staff in his hand and his shoes
tied with leather thongs。 I may yet
But this is a story; not a sequel。
I have taken notice with regret; that few stories worth reading have
been written that did not con… tain drink of some sort。 Down go the fluids;
from Arizona Dick's three fingers of red pizen to the in… efficacious
Oolong that nerves Lionel Montressor to repartee in the 〃Dotty
Dialogues。〃 So; in such good company I may introduce an absinthe drip
one absinthe drip; dripped through a silver dripper; orderly; opalescent;
cool; green…eyed deceptive。
Kerner was a fool。 Besides that; he was an artist and my good friend。
Now; if there is one thing on earth utterly despicable to another; it is an
artist in the eyes of an author whose story he has illus… trated。 Just try it
once。 Write a story about a mining camp in Idiho。 Sell it。 Spend the money;
and then; six months later; borrow a quarter (or a dime); and buy the
magazine containing it。 You find a full…page wash drawing of your hero;
Black Bill; the cowboy。 Somewhere in your story you em… ployed the
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word 〃horse。〃 Aha! the artist has grasped the idea。 Black Bill has on the
regulation trousers of the M。 F。 H。 of the Westchester County Hunt。 He
carries a parlor rifle; and wears a mon… ocle。 In the distance is a section of
Forty…second Street during a search for a lost gas…pipe; and the Taj Mahal