was　very　cute；　even　sexy；　but　tonight　I　just　wanted　to　go　to
  sleep。
  “Alex；　listen；　I　know—”
  “No；you　listen！　Forget　about　me　for　a　second；　not　like　that’s
  such　a　stretch；　but　forget　that　we　never；　ever　see　each　other
  anymore　because　of　the　hours　you　keep　at　work；　because　of　your
  never…ending　work　emergencies。　What　about　your　parents？　When
  was　the　last　time　you　actually　saw　them？　And　your　sister？　You
  do　realize　that　she　just　had　her　first　baby　and　you　haven’t
  even　seen　your　own　nephew　yet；　don’t　you？　Doesn’t　that　mean
  anything？”　He　lowered　his　voice　and　leaned　in　closer。　I
  thought　he　might　be　getting　ready　to　apologize；　but　he　said；
  “What　about　Lily？　Have　you　not　noticed　that　your　best　friend
  has　turned　into　a　raging　alcoholic？”　I　must　have　looked
  absolutely　shocked；　because　he　barreled　on。　“You　can’t　even
  think　of　saying　you　didn’t　realize　that；　Andy。　It’s　the　most
  obvious　thing　in　the　world。”
  “Yes；　of　course　she　drinks。　So　do　you　and　so　do　I　and　so　does
  everyone　we　know。　Lily’s　a　student；　and　that’s　what　students
  do；　Alex。　What’s　so　weird　about　that？”　It　sounded　even　more
  pathetic　when　I　said　it　out　loud；　and　he　only　shook　his　head。
  We　were　both　quiet　for　a　few　minutes　until　he　spoke。
  “You　just　don’t　get　it；　Andy。　I’m　not　exactly　sure　how　it
  happened；　but　I　feel　like　I　don’t　even　know　you　anymore。　I
  think　we　need　a　break。”
  “What？　What　are　you　saying？　You　want　to　break　up？”　I　asked；
  realizing　much　too　late　that　he　was　very；　very　serious。　Alex
  was　so　understanding；　so　sweet；　so　available；　that　I’d　begun
  to　take　for　granted　that　he’d　always　be　around　to　listen　or
  talk　me　down　after　a　long　day　or　cheer　me　up　when　everyone
  else　had　felt　free　to　take　a　swing。　The　only　problem　with　all
  of　this　was　that　I　wasn’t　exactly　holding　up　my　end　of　the
  deal。
  “No；　not　at　all。　Not　break　up；　just　take　a　break。　I　think　it
  would　help　both　of　us　if　we　reevaluate　what　we’ve　got　going
  here。　You　sure　don’t　seem　happy　with　me　lately；　and　I　can’t
  say　I’m　thrilled　with　you。　Maybe　a　little　time　away　would　be
  good　for　both　of　us。”
  “Good　for　both　of　us？　You　think　it’ll　‘help　us’？”　I　wanted　to
  scream　at　the　triteness　of　his　words；　at　the　idea　that　“taking
  some　time”　would　actually　help　draw　us　closer。　It　seemed
  selfish　that　he　was　doing　this　now；　just　as　I　was　going　into
  what　I　hoped　was　the　last　of　my　one…yearRunway　sentence　and
  mere　days　before　I　had　to　pull　off　the　biggest　challenge　of　my
  career。　Any　quick　jabs　of　sadness　or　concern　from　a　few
  minutes　ago　had　been　swiftly　replaced　with　irritation。　“Fine；
  then。　Let’s　‘take　a　break；’　”　I　said　sarcastically；　meanly。　“A
  breather。　Sounds　like　a　great　plan。”
  He　stared　at　me　with　those　big　brown　eyes　with　a　look　of
  overwhelming　surprise　and　hurt；　and　then　pressed　them　tightly
  shut　in　an　apparent　effort　to　push　away　the　image　of　my　face。
  “OK；　Andy。　I’ll　put　you　out　of　your　obvious　misery　and　leave
  now。　I　hope　you　have　a　great　time　in　Paris；　I　really　do。　I’ll
  talk　to　you　soon。”　And　before　I　even　realized　that　it　was
  actually　happening；　he’d　kissed　me　on　the　cheek　like　he　would
  Lily　or　my　mother　and　walked　toward　the　door。
  “Alex；　don’t　you　think　we　should　talk　about　this？”　I　said；
  trying　to　keep　my　voice　calm；　wondering　if　he　would　actually
  walk　out　right　now。
  He　turned　and　smiled　sadly　and　said；　“Let’s　not　talk　any　more
  tonight；　Andy。　We　should’ve　been　talking　the　past　few　months；
  the　pastyear；　not　trying　to　cram　it　all　in　right　now。　Think
  about　everything；　OK？　I’ll　call　you　in　a　couple　weeks；　when
  you’re　back　and　settled。　And　good　luck　in　Paris—I　know　you’ll
  be　great。”　He　opened　the　door；　stepped　through　it；　and　quietly
  closed　it　behind　him。
  I　ran　to　Lily’s　room　so　she　could　tell　me　that　he　was
  overreacting；　that　I　had　to　go　to　Paris　because　it　was　the
  best　thing　for　my　future；　that　she　didn’t　have　a　drinking
  problem；　that　I　wasn’t　a　bad　sister　for　leaving　the　country
  when　Jill　had　just　had　her　first　baby。　But　she　was　passed　out
  on　top　of　her　covers；　fully　dressed；　the　empty　cocktail　glass
  on　her　bedside　table。　Her　Toshiba　laptop　was　open　beside　her
  on　the　bed；　and　I　wondered　if　she’d　managed　to　write　a　single
  word。　I　looked。　Bravo！　She’d　written　the　heading；　plete
  with　her　name；　the　class　number；　the　professor’s　name；　and　her
  presumably　temporary　version　of　the　article’s　title：　“The
  Psychological　Ramifications　of　Falling　in　Love　with　Your
  Reader。”　I　laughed　out　loud；　but　she　didn’t　stir；　so　I　moved
  the　puter　back　to　her　desk　and　set　her　alarm　for　seven　and
  turned　out　the　lights。
  My　Cell　Phone　rang　as　soon　as　I　walked　in　my　bedroom。　After
  the　initial　five…second　usual　heart…pounding　session　I　endured
  each　time　it　rang　for　fear　that　it　was　Her；　I　flipped　it　open
  immediately；　knowing　it　was　Alex。　I　knew　he　couldn’t　leave
  things　so　unfinished。　This　was　the　same　guy　who　couldn’t　fall
  asleep　without　a　good…night　kiss　and　a　verbal　wish　for　sweet
  dreams；　there　was　no　way　he　was　just　prancing　out　of　here；
  totally　fine　with　the　suggestion　that　we　not　talk　for　a　few
  weeks。
  “Hi；　baby；”　I　breathed；　missing　him　already　but　still　happy　to
  be　on　the　phone　with　him　and　not　necessarily　having　to　deal
  with　everything　in　person　right　now。　My　head　ached　and　my
  shoulders　felt　like　they　were　glued　to　my　ears；　and　I　just
  wanted　to　hear　him　say　that　the　whole　thing　had　been　a　big
  mistake　and　he’d　call　me　tomorrow。　“I’m　glad　you　called。”
  “‘Baby’？　Wow！　We’re　making　progress；　aren’t　we；　Andy？　Better
  be　careful　or　I　might　have　to　consider　the　possibility　that
  you　want　me；”　Christian　said　smoothly　with　a　grin　I　could　hear
  over　the　phone　line。　“I’m　glad　I　called；　too。”
  “Oh。　It’s　you。”
  “Well；　that’s　not　the　warmest　wele　I’ve　ever　received！
  What’s　the　matter；　Andy？　You’ve　been　screening　me　lately；
  haven’t　you？”
  “Of　course　not；”　I　lied。　“I’ve　just　had　a　bad　day。　As　usual。
  What’s　up？”
  He　laughed。　“Andy；　Andy；　Andy。　e　on　now。　You　have　no　reason
  to　be　so　unhappy。　You’re　on　the　fast…track　to　great　things。
  Speaking　of　which；　I’m　calling　to　see　if　you　wanted　to　e　to
  a　PEN　award　ceremony　and　reading　tomorrow　night。　Should　be
  lots　of　interesting　people；　and　I　haven’t　seen　you　in　a　while。
  Purely　professional；　of　course。”
  For　a　girl　who　had　read　way　too　many　“How　to　Know　if　He’s
  Ready　to　mit”　articles　inCosmo；　one　might　think　the　warning
  flags　would’ve　gone　up　on　this　one。　And　they　did—I　just　chose
  to　ignore　them。　It　had　been　a　very　long　day；　and　so　I　allowed
  myself　to　think—just　for　a　few　minutes—that　he　might；　might；
  MIGHT　actually　be　sincere。　Screw　it。　It　felt　good　to　talk　to　a
  noncritical　male　for　a　few　minutes；　even　if　he　did　refuse　to
  accept　that　I　was　taken。　I　knew　I　wouldn’t　actually　accept　his
  invitation；　but　a　few　minutes　of　innocent　phone　flirting
  wouldn’t　hurt　anyone。
  “Oh　really？”　I　asked　coyly。　“Tell　me　all　about　it。”
  “I’m　going　to　list　all　the　reasons　that　you　should　e　with
  me；　Andy；　and　the　first　one　is　the　simplest：　I　know　what’s
  good　for　you。　Period。”　God；　he　was　arrogant。　Why　did　I　find　it
  so　endearing？
  game　on。　We　were　off　and　running；　and　it　took　only　a　few　more
  minutes　until　the　trip　to　Paris　and　Lily’s　nasty　little　vodka
  habit　and　Alex’s　sad　eyes　faded　to　the　background　of　my
  acknowledged…unhealthy…and…emotionally…dangerous…but…really…sexy…and…fun…nonetheless
  conversation　with　Christian。
  16
  It　was　planned　that　Miranda　would　be　in　Europe　for　a　week
  before　I　was　due　to　arrive。　She　settled　for　using　some　local
  assistants　for　the　Milan　shows—and　would　be　arriving　in　Paris
  the　same　morning　I　was　so　we　could　work　out　the　details　of　her
  party　together；　like　old　friends。　Hah。　Delta　had　refused　to
  simply　change　the　name　on　the　ticket　from　Emily’s　to　mine；　so
  rather　than　get　even　more　frustrated　and　hassled　than　I
  already　was；　I　just　charged　a　new　one。　Twenty…two　hundred
  dollars　because　it　was　fashion　week　and　I　was　buying　at　the
  last　minute。　I　paused　for　one　ridiculous　minute　before　forking
  over　the　corporate　card　number。Whatever；　I　thought。Miranda　can
  spend　that　in　a　week　on　hair　and　makeup　alone　。
  As　Miranda’s　junior　assistant；　I　was　the　lowest…ranking　human
  being　atRunway　。　However；　if　access　is　power；　then　Emily　and　I
  were　the　two　most　powerful　people　in　fashion：　we　determined
  who　got　meetings；　when　they　were　scheduled　（early　morning　was
  always　preferred　because　people’s　makeup　would　be　fresh　and
  their