apartment。
  “So？　Did　he　e　and　see　you　talking　to；　uh；　to　someone　else？”
  I　was　trying　not　to　push　her　away　even　more　by　being　critical
  of　her。　There　was　obviously　a　lot　going　on　inside　her　head；
  what　with　the　problems　at　school　and　the　drinking　and　the
  seemingly　limitless　supply　of　guys；　and　I　wanted　her　to　open
  up　to　someone。　She’d　never　kept　anything　from　me　before；　if
  for　no　other　reason　than　I　was　all　she　had；　but　she　hadn’t
  been　telling　me　much　of　anything　lately。　It　occurred　to　me　how
  strange　it　was　that　we　hadn’t　bothered　to　discuss　this　until
  four　months　after　the　fact。
  “No；　not　quite；”　she　said　bitterly。　“He　came　all　the　way　there
  from　Morningside　Heights　only　to　find　me　not　there。　Apparently
  he　called　my　Cell　Phone　and　Kenny　answered　and　wasn’t　all　that
  nice。”
  “Kenny？”
  “Thatthing　I　dragged　Home　at　the　beginning　of　the　summer；
  remember？”　She　said　it　sarcastically；　but　this　time　she
  smiled。
  “Ah…hah。　I’m　guessing　Freudian　Boy　didn’t　take　that　well？”
  “Not　so　much。　Whatever。　Easy　e；　easy　go；　right？”　She
  scampered　off　to　the　kitchen　with　her　empty　glass　and　I　saw
  her　pour　from　a　half…full　bottle　of　Ketel　One。　A　very　small
  splash　of　soda；　and　she　was　back　on　the　couch。
  I　was　just　about　to　inquire　as　gently　as　possible　why　she　was
  inhaling　vodka　when　she　had　an　article　due　the　next　day；　but
  the　buzzer　rang　from　downstairs。
  “Who’s　there？”　I　called　to　John　by　holding　down　the　button。
  “Mr。　Fineman　is　here　to　see　Ms。　Sachs；”　he　announced　formally；
  all　Business　now　that　other　people　were　around。
  “Really？　Um；　great。　Send　him　up。”
  Lily　looked　at　me　and　raised　her　eyebrows；　and　I　realized　that
  once　again　we　weren’t　going　to　have　this　conversation。　“You
  look　psyched；”　she　said　with　obvious　sarcasm。　“Not　exactly
  thrilled　that　your　boyfriend　is　surprising　you；　are　you？”
  “Of　course　I　am；”　I　said　defensively；　and　we　both　knew　I　was
  lying。　Things　with　Alex　had　been　strained　the　past　few　weeks。
  Really　strained。　We　went　through　all　the　motions　of　being
  together　and　we　did　it　well：　after　almost　four　years；　we
  certainly　knew　what　the　other　wanted　to　hear　or　needed　to　do。
  But　he’d　pensated　for　all　the　time　I　spent　at　work　by　being
  even　more　angelic　at　school—volunteering　to　coach；　tutor；
  mentor；　and　chair　just　about　every　activity　someone　could
  think　up—and　the　time　we　did　actually　see　each　other　was　about
  as　exciting　as　if　we’d　been　married　for　thirty　years。　We　had
  an　unspoken　understanding　that　we’d　just　wait　things　out　until
  my　year　of　servitude　was　over；　but　I　wouldn’t　let　myself　think
  about　where　the　relationship　might　be　headed　then。
  But　still。　That　made　two　close　people　in　my　life—first　Jill
  （who’d　called　me　out　on　the　miserable　state　of　affairs　on　the
  phone　the　other　night）；　and　now　Lily—who’d　pointed　out　that
  Alex　and　I　were　less　than　adorable　together　lately；　and　I　had
  to　admit　that　Lily　had；　in　her　buzzed　but　nonetheless
  perceptive　way；　noticed　that　I　was　not　happy　to　hear　that　Alex
  had　arrived。　I　was　dreading　telling　him　that　I　had　to　go　to
  Europe；　dreading　the　inevitable　fight　that　would　ensue；　a
  fight　I　very　much　would　have　liked　to　put　off　for　a　few　more
  days。　Ideally；　not　until　I　was　in　Europe。　But　no　such　luck；　as
  he　was　currently　knocking　on　my　door。
  “Hi！”　I　said　a　bit　too　enthusiastically　as　I　pulled　open　the
  door　and　threw　my　arms　around　his　neck。　“What　a　great
  surprise！”
  “You　don’t　mind　that　I　just　stopped　by；　do　you？　I　met　Max　for
  a　drink　right　around　the　corner　and　I　thought　I’d　say　hi。”
  “Of　course　I　don’t　mind；　silly！　I’m　thrilled。　e　in；　e
  in。”　I　knew　I　sounded　positively　manic；　but　any　armchair
  shrink　could　easily　point　out　that　my　outward　enthusiasm　was
  meant　to　overpensate　for　all　that　was　lacking　inwardly。
  He　grabbed　a　beer　and　kissed　Lily　on　the　cheek　and　settled
  into　the　bright　orange　armchair　my　parents　had　saved　from　the
  seventies；　just　knowing　that　one　day　they　could　bestow　it
  proudly　on　one　of　their　offspring。　“So；　what’s　going　on　here？”
  he　asked；　nodding　toward　the　stereo；　where　a　positively
  heart…wrenching　version　of　“Hallelujah”　was　blaring。
  Lily　shrugged。　“Procrastinating。　What　else？”
  “Well；　I　have　some　news；”　I　said；　trying　to　sound　enthusiastic
  to　convince　both　myself　and　Alex　that　this　was；　in　fact；　a
  positive　development。　He’d　been　so　excited　about　arranging　all
  the　plans　for　our　Homeing　weekend—and　I’d　been　so　pushy　in
  getting　him　to　do　it—that　it　seemed　downright　cruel　to　be
  canceling　on　him　less　than　a　week　and　a　half　before　we　were
  going。　We’d　spent　an　entire　night　figuring　out　whom　we　wanted
  to　invite　to　our　big　Sunday　brunch；　and　even　knew　exactly
  where　and　with　whom　we’d　be　tailgating　before　the
  Brown–Dartmouth　game　on　Saturday。
  They　both　looked　at　me；　not　a　little　warily；　until　Alex
  finally　managed；　“Yeah？　What’s　up？”
  “Well！　I　just　got　the　call—I’m　going　to　Paris　for　a　week！”　I
  said　this　with　the　exuberance　of　telling　an　infertile　couple
  that　they　were　having　twins。
  “You’re　going　where？”　Lily　asked；　looking　puzzled　and
  distracted；　not　entirely　interested。
  “You’re　goingwhy　？”　Alex　asked　at　the　exact　same　moment；
  looking　about　as　pleased　as　if　I’d　just　announced　that　I　had
  tested　positive　for　syphilis。
  “Emily　just　found　out　she　has　mono；　and　Miranda　wants　me　to
  acpany　her　to　the　shows。　Isn’t　that　awesome？”　I　said；　a
  chipper　smile　on　my　face。　This　was　exhausting。　I　was　dreading
  having　to　go　myself；　but　it　made　it　ten　times　worse　to　have　to
  convince　him　that　it　was　actually　a　really　great　opportunity。
  “I　don’t　understand。　Doesn’t　she　go　to　the　shows　like　a
  thousand　times　a　year？”　he　asked。　I　nodded。　“So　why　does　she
  all　of　a　sudden　need　you　to　go　with　her　now？”
  Lily　had　tuned　out　at　this　point　and　seemed　to　be　engrossed　in
  flipping　through　an　old　issue　ofThe　New　Yorker　。　I’d　saved
  every　copy　from　the　past　five　years。
  “She　throws　this　massive　party　at　the　spring　shows　in　Paris
  and　just　likes　to　have　one　of　her　American　assistants　be
  there。　She’ll　go　to　Milan　first　and　then　we’ll　meet　in　Paris。
  To；　you　know；　oversee　everything。”
  “And　that　American　assistant　has　to　be　you；　and　it　has　to　mean
  you’ll　be　missing　Homeing；”　he　said　flatly。
  “Well；　it’s　not　normally　the　way　it　works。　Since　it’s
  considered　a　huge　privilege；　usually　the　senior　assistant　is
  the　only　one　who　gets　to　go；　but　since　Emily　is　sick；　then；
  yes；　now　I　will　be　going。　I　have　to　leave　next　Tuesday；　so　I
  can’t　go　to　Providence　that　weekend。　I’m　really；　really
  sorry。”　I　moved　off　my　chair　and　went　to　sit　closer　to　him　on
  the　couch；　but　he　immediately　stiffened。
  “So　it’s　just　that　simple；　right？　You　know；　I　already　paid　for
  the　entire　room　to　guarantee　the　rate。　Never　mind　the　fact
  thatI　rearrangedmy　whole　schedule　to　go　with　you　that　weekend。
  I　told　my　mom　she　had　to　find　a　sitter　becauseyou　wanted　to
  go。　Not　a　big　deal；　though；　right？　Just　anotherRunway
  obligation。”　In　all　the　years　we’d　spent　together；　I’d　never
  seen　him　so　angry。　Even　Lily　looked　up　from　her　magazine　long
  enough　to　excuse　herself　and　get　the　hell　out　of　the　room
  before　this　turned　into　an　all…out　war。
  I　tried　to　curl　up　on　his　lap；　but　he　crossed　his　legs　and
  waved　his　hand。　“Seriously；　Andrea—”　He　called　me　that　only
  when　he　was　really　annoyed。　“Is　all　of　this　really　worth　it？
  Be　honest　with　me　for　a　second。　Is　it　worth　it　to　you？”
  “All　of　what？　Is　missing　a　Homeing　weekend　when　there　will
  be　dozens　more　worth　it　to　do　something　I’m　required　to　do　for
  my　job？　A　job　that　is　going　to　open　doors　for　me　I　never
  thought　possible；　and　sooner　than　I　ever　expected？　Yes！　It’s
  worth　it。”
  His　chin　dropped　to　his　chest　and　for　a　moment　I　thought　he
  was　crying；　but　when　he　lifted　it　again；　his　face　revealed
  nothing　but　rage。
  “Don’t　you　think　I’d　rather　go　with　you　than　go　be　someone’s
  slave　twenty…four…seven　for　a　straight　week？”　I　shouted；
  forgetting　entirely　that　Lily　was　somewhere　in　the　apartment。
  “Can’t　you　stop　for　one　second　to　think　about　the　fact　that　I
  may　not　want　to　go　either；　but　I　have　no　choice？”
  “No　choice？　You　have　nothingbut　choices！　Andy；　this　job　isn’t
  just　a　job　anymore；　in　case　you’ve　failed　to　notice—it’s　taken
  over　your　entire　life！”　he　yelled　back；　the　redness　in　his
  face　expanding　to　his　neck　and　ears。　Normally　I　thought　this
  was　very　cute；　even　sexy；　but　tonight　I　just　wanted　to　go　to
  sleep。
  “Alex；　listen；