and　Shauna　was　singing　away。　And　once　she　broke　the　ice；　she’s　been
  jabbering　away　with　everyone　since。　She　knows　English。　She　has　an
  age…appropriate　vocabulary。　She’s　pletely　and　totally　normal！”
  His　obvious　elation　made　me　smile；　and　all　of　a　sudden　I　started　to
  miss　him。　Miss　him　in　the　way　that　you　do　when　you’ve　seen　someone
  frequently　and　regularly　but　haven’t　really　connected　with　him　in
  any　significant　way。　It　had　been　great　to　surprise　him　the　night
  before；　but；　as　usual；　I’d　been　too　frazzled　to　be　much　pany。　We
  both　inherently　understood　that　we　were　just　waiting　out　my
  sentence；　waiting　for　me　to　plete　my　year　of　servitude；　waiting
  until　everything　went　back　to　the　way　it　was。　But　I　still　missed
  him。　And　I　still　felt　not　a　little　guilty　for　the　whole　Christian
  situation。
  “Hey；　congratulations！　Not　that　you　needed　a　testament　to　the　fact
  that　you’re　a　great　teacher；　but　you　got　one　anyway！　You　should　be
  thrilled。”
  “Yeah；　it’s　exciting。”　I　could　hear　the　bell　ring　in　the　background。
  “Listen；　is　that　offer　still　open　for　a　date　tonight—just　you　and
  me？”　I　asked；　hoping　he　hadn’t　made　plans　yet　but　expecting　that　he
  had。　As　I’d　pulled　myself　out　of　bed　this　morning　and　dragged　my
  exhausted　and　sore　body　into　the　shower；　he’d　called　out　that　he
  wanted　to　just　rent　a　movie；　order　some　food；　and　hang　out。　I’d
  mumbled　something　unnecessarily　sarcastic　about　it　not　being　worth
  his　time　because　I　wouldn’t　get　Home　until　late　and　would　just　fall
  asleep；　and　at　least　one　of　us　should　have　a　life　and　enjoy　their
  Friday　night。　I　wanted　to　tell　him　now　that　I　was　angry　at　Miranda；
  atRunway；　at　myself；　but　not　at　him；　and　that　there　was　nothing　I’d
  rather　do　than　curl　up　on　the　couch　and　cuddle　for　fifteen　straight
  hours。
  “Sure。”　He　sounded　surprised；　but　pleased。　“Why　don’t　I　just　wait　at
  your　place　and　then　we　can　figure　out　what　we　want　to　do？　I’ll　just
  hang　out　with　Lily　until　you　get　Home。”
  “Sounds　absolutely　perfect。　You　can　hear　all　about　Freudian　Boy。”
  “Who？”
  “Never　mind。　Listen；　I’ve　got　to　run。　The　Queen　will　wait　for　Coffee
  no　longer。　See　you　tonight—can’t　wait。”
  Eduardo　allowed　me　upstairs　after　chanting　only　two　refrains—my
  choice—of　“We　Didn’t　Start　the　Fire；”　and　Miranda　was　talking
  animatedly　when　I　set　down　her　Coffee　spread　on　the　left…hand　corner
  of　her　desk。　I　spent　the　rest　of　the　afternoon　arguing　with　every
  assistant　and　editor　I　could　reach　at　theNew　York　Post；　trying　to
  insist　that　I　knew　their　paper　better　than　they　did；　and　could　I
  please　just　have　one　little　copy　of　the　Asian　fusion　restaurant
  review　they’d　run　the　day　before？
  “Ma’am；　I’ve　told　you　a　dozen　times　and　I’ll　tell　you　again：we　did
  not　review　any　such　restaurant　。　I　know　Ms。　Priestly　is　a　crazy
  woman　and　I　don’t　doubt　that　she’s　making　your　life　a　living　hell；
  but　I　just　can’t　produce　an　article　that　doesn’t　exist。　Do　you
  understand？”　This　had　e　finally　from　an　associate　who；　even
  though　he　worked　onPage　Six；　had　been　assigned　the　task　of　finding
  my　article　to　shut　me　up。　He’d　been　patient　and　willing；　but　he’d
  reached　the　end　of　his　charity　work。　Emily　was　on　the　other　line
  with　one　of　their　freelance　food　writers；　and　I’d　forced　James　to
  call　one　of　his　ex…boyfriends　who　worked　in　the　advertising
  department　there　to　see　if　there　was　anything—anything—he　could　do。
  It　was　already　three　o’clock　the　dayafter　she’d　requested　something；
  and　this　was　the　very　first　time　I　hadn’t　gotten　it　immediately。
  “Emily！”　Miranda　called　from　inside　her　deceptively　bright　office。
  “Yes；　Miranda？”　we　both　answered；　jumping　up　to　see　which　one　of　us
  she　would　motion　to。
  “Emily；　I　can　hear　that　you　just　spoke　to　the　people　at　thePost　？”
  she　said；　directing　her　attention　in　my　direction。　The　real　Emily
  looked　relieved　and　sat　down。
  “Yes；　Miranda；　I　just　hung　up　with　them。　I’ve　actually　spoken　to
  three　different　people　there　and　all　of　them　insist　that　they
  haven’t　reviewed　a　single　new　Asian　fusion　restaurant　in　Manhattan
  at　any　point　in　the　last　week。　Maybe　it　was　before　then？”　I　was　now
  tottering　in　front　of　her　desk　with　my　head　bowed　just　enough　so　I
  could　stare　at　the　black　Jimmy　Choo　slingbacks　with　four…inch　heels
  that　Jeffy　had　provided　so　smugly。
  “Manhattan？”　She　looked　confused　and　pissed　off　all　at　once。　“Who
  said　anything　about　Manhattan？”
  It　was　my　time　to　be　confused。
  “Ahn…dre…ah；　I’ve　told　you　at　least　five　times　now　that　the　review
  was　written　about　a　new　restaurant　inWashington　。　Since　I’ll　be
  there　next　week；　I　need　you　to　make　a　reservation。”　She　cocked　her
  head　and　moved　her　lips　into　what　can　only　be　described　as　a　wicked
  smile。　“What　exactly　about　this　project　do　you　find　so　challenging？”
  Washington？　Five　times　she’d　told　me　the　restaurant　was　inWashington
  ？　I　don’t　think　so。　She　was　clearly　losing　her　mind　or　just　taking
  sadistic　pleasure　in　watching　me　lose　mine。　But　being　the　idiot　she
  took　me　for；　I　again　spoke　without　thinking。
  “Oh；　Miranda；　I’m　fairly　certain　that　theNew　York　Post　doesn’t　do
  reviews　of　restaurants　in　Washington。　It　appears　they　only　actually
  visit　and　review　places　new　to　New　York。”
  “Is　that　supposed　to　be　funny；　Ahn…dre…ah？　Is　that　your　idea　of
  having　a　sense　of　humor？”　Her　smile　had　disappeared　and　she　was
  leaning　forward　in　her　seat；　looking　like　a　hungry　vulture　that　was
  impatiently　circling　its　prey。
  “Um　no；　Miranda；　I　just　thought　that—”
  “Ahn…dre…ah；　as　I’ve　made　clear　adozen　times　already；　the　review　I’m
  looking　for　is　in　theWashington　Post　。　You’ve　heard　of　that　little
  newspaper；　right？　Just　like　New　York　has　theNew　York　Times；
  Washington；　D。C。；　has　its　own　paper；　too。　See　how　that　works？”　Her
  voice　was　now　beyond　mocking：　she　was　so　incredibly　patronizing　that
  she　was　only　one　step　away　from　actually　addressing　me　in　baby　talk。
  “I’ll　get　it　for　you　right　away；”　I　stated　as　calmly　as　I　could　and
  quietly　walked　out。
  “Oh；　and　Ahn…dre…ah？”　My　heart　lurched　and　my　stomach　wondered　if　it
  could　take　another　“surprise。”　“I　expect　you　to　attend　the　party
  tonight　to　greet　the　guests。　That’s　all。”
  I　looked　to　Emily；　who　looked　absolutely　baffled；　her　crinkled
  forehead　making　her　appear　as　dumbfounded　as　I　felt。　“Did　I　hear　her
  correctly？”　I　whispered　to　Emily；　who　could　do　nothing　but　nod　and
  motion　for　me　to　e　to　her　side　of　the　suite。
  “I　was　afraid　of　this；”　she　whispered　gravely；　like　a　surgeon
  telling　a　patient’s　family　member　that　they’d　found　something
  horrible　upon　opening　the　chest　cavity。
  “She　can’t　be　serious。　It’s　four　o’clock　on　Friday。　The　party　starts
  at　seven。　It’s　black　tie；　for　chrissake—there　is　no　way　on　earth　she
  expects　me　to　go。”　I　looked　again　at　my　watch　in　disbelief　and　tried
  to　remember　her　exact　words。
  “Oh；　she’s　quite　serious；”　she　said；　picking　up　the　phone。　“I’ll
  help　you；　OK？　You　go　find　the　review　in　theWashington　Post　and　get
  her　a　copy　before　she　leaves—Uri　is　ing　for　her　soon　to　take　her
  Home　for　her　hair　and　makeup。　I’ll　get　you　a　dress　and　everything
  else　you　need　for　tonight。　Don’t　worry。　We’ll　figure　it　out。”　She
  began　rapid…fire　dialing　and　whispering　urgent…sounding　instructions
  into　the　phone。　I　stood　and　stared；　but　she　waved　her　hand　without
  looking　up　and　I　snapped　back　to　reality。
  “Go；”　she　whispered；　looking　at　me　with　a　rare　hint　of　sympathy。　And
  I　went。
  14
  “You　can’t　show　up　in　a　cab；”　Lily　said　to　me　as　I　jabbed　helplessly
  at　my　eyes　with　my　brand…new　Maybelline　Great　Lash　mascara。　“This　is
  black…tie。　Call　a　car；　for　chrissake。”　She　watched　for　a　minute　more
  and　then　grabbed　the　clumpy　wand　from　my　hand　and　tapped　my　eyelids
  closed。
  “I　guess　you’re　right；”　I　sighed；　still　refusing　to　accept　that　my
  Friday　night　was　to　be　spent　in　a　formal　gown　at　the　Met；　greeting
  wealthy…but…still…rednecks　from　Georgia　and　North　and　South　Carolina
  and　plastering　fake　smile　after　fake　smile　on　my　poorly　made…up
  face。　The　announcement　had　left　me　all　of　three　hours　to　find　a
  dress；　buy　makeup；　get　ready；　and　revamp　all　my　weekend　plans；　and
  in　the　craziness　of　the　situation；　I’d　forgotten　to　arrange
  transportation。
  Luckily；　working　at　one　of　the　biggest　fashion　magazines　in　the
  country　（the　job　a　million　girls　would　die　for！）　has　its　advantages；
  and　by　4：40P　。M。　I　was　the　proud　borrower　of　a　knockout　floor…length
  black　Oscar　de　la　Renta　number；　provided　kindly　by　Jeffy；　Closet
  maven　and　lover　of　all　things