was　leaving　for　the　European　shows　soon　and　would　be　gone　for　two
  weeks；　planning　this　party　had　occupied　the　vast　majority　of　both
  our　recent　workdays。　I　returned　to　her　office　with　a　pad　and　pen；
  preparing　myself　to　not　understand　a　single　word　she’d　say。　I
  considered　sitting　for　just　a　moment　since　it’d　make　taking
  dictation　much　more　fortable；　but　wisely　resisted。
  She　sighed　as　though　this　were　so　taxing　she　wasn’t　sure　if　she’d
  make　it　and　tugged　on　the　white　Hermès　scarf　that　she’d　woven　into　a
  braceletlike　thing　around　her　wrist。　“Find　Natalie　at　Glorious　Foods
  and　tell　her　that　I　prefer　the　rhubarb　pote。　Do　not　let　her
  convince　you　that　she　needs　to　speak　with　me　directly；　because　she
  does　not。　Also　talk　to　Miho　and　make　sure　they　understand　my　orders
  for　the　flowers。　Get　Robert　Isabell　on　the　phone　for　me　sometime
  before　lunch　to　go　over　tablecloths；　place　cards；　and　serving　trays。
  Also　that　girl　from　the　Met　to　see　when　I　can　go　over　to　make　sure
  everything　is　set　up　properly；　and　tell　her　to　fax　over　the　table
  configurations　so　I　may　do　seating　charts。　That’s　all　for　now。”
  She　had　rattled　off　that　list　without　a　single　pause　in　her　note
  writing；　and　when　she　finished　speaking　she　handed　me　her　newly
  crafted　note　to　mail。　I　finished　scribbling　on　my　pad；　hoping　I’d
  understood　everything　correctly；　which；　considering　the　accent　and
  the　rapid…fire　cadence；　wasn’t　always　simple。
  “OK；”　I　muttered　and　turned　to　go；　bringing　up　my　Total　Miranda
  Words　to　four。Maybe　I　won’t　break　fifty；　I　thought。　I　could　feel　her
  eyes　examining　the　size　of　my　butt　as　I　walked　back　to　my　desk　and
  briefly　considered　whipping　around　to　walk　backward　like　a　religious
  Jew　would　do　when　leaving　the　Wailing　Wall。　Instead；　I　tried　to
  glide　toward　the　hidden　safety　of　my　desk　while　picturing　thousands
  and　thousands　ofHasidim　in　Prada　black；　walking　backward　circles
  around　Miranda　Priestly。
  12
  The　blissful　day　I’d　been　waiting　for；　dreaming　of；　had　finally；
  finally　arrived。　Miranda　had　not　only　departed　the　office；　but　she’d
  left　the　country　as　well。　She’d　jumped　into　her　Concorde　seat　less
  than　an　hour　before　to　meet　with　a　few　of　the　European　designers；
  making　me　at　present　the　indisputably　happiest　girl　on　the　planet。
  Emily　kept　trying　to　convince　me　that　Miranda　was　even　more
  demanding　when　she　was　abroad；　but　I　wasn’t　buying　it。　I　was　in　the
  middle　of　mapping　out　exactly　how　I　was　going　to　spend　every
  ecstatic　moment　of　the　next　two　weeks　when　I　got　an　e…mail　from
  Alex。
  Hey　babe；　how　are　you？　Hope　your　day　is　at　least　ok。　You　must　be
  loving　that　she　left；　right？　Enjoy　it。　Anyway；　just　wanted　to　see　if
  you　think　you’ll　be　able　to　call　me　around　three…thirty　today。　I
  have　a　free　hour　then　before　the　reading　program　starts　and　I　need
  to　talk　to　you。　Nothing　major；　but　I　would　like　to　talk。　Love；　A
  To　which　I　immediately　worried　and　replied　to　ask　if　everything　was
  OK；　but　he　must　have　logged　off　right　away　because　he　never　wrote
  back　again。　I　made　a　mental　note　to　call　him　at　exactly
  three…thirty；　loving　the　feeling　of　freedom　that　es　from　knowing
  that　She　wouldn’t　be　around　to　screw　it　up。　But　just　in　case；　I
  pulled　a　piece　ofRunway　stationery　from　the　pile　and　wrote　CALL　A；
  3：30　P。M。　TODAY　and　taped　it　to　the　side　of　my　monitor。　Just　as　I
  was　going　to　call　back　a　friend　from　school　who’d　left　a　message　on
  my　Home　machine　a　week　earlier；　the　phone　rang。
  “Miranda　Priestly’s　office；”　I　all　but　sighed；　figuring　that　there
  wasn’t　a　single　person　on　earth　I　wanted　to　speak　with　at　that
  moment。
  “Emily？　Is　that　you？　Emily？”　The　unmistakable　voice　filled　the　phone
  line　and　seemed　to　seep　into　the　air　in　the　office。　Even　though　she
  couldn’t　have　possibly　heard　from　across　the　suite；　Emily　looked　up
  at　me。
  “Hello；　Miranda。　This　is　Andrea。　May　I　help　you　with　something？”　How
  on　earth　was　this　woman　calling？　I　quickly　checked　the　itinerary
  that　Emily　had　typed　for　everyone　while　Miranda　was　in　Europe　and
  saw　that　her　flight　had　taken　off　a　mere　six　minutes　before　and　she
  was　already　calling　from　the　seat　phone。
  “Well；　I　should　hope　so。　I’ve　looked　at　my　itinerary　and　I　just
  noticed　that　hair　and　makeup　for　Thursday　before　dinner　is　not
  confirmed。”
  “Um；　well；　Miranda；　that’s　because　Monsieur　Renaud　wasn’t　able　to
  get　an　absolute　confirmation　from　the　Thursday　people；　but　he　said
  it　was　ninety…nine　percent　that　they’d　be　able　to　and—”
  “Ahn…dre…ah；　answer　me　this：　Is　ninety…nine　percent　the　same　as　a
  hundred？　Is　it　the　same　asconfirmed　？”　But　before　I　could　answer　I
  heard　her　tell　someone；　most　likely　a　flight　attendant；　that　she
  wasn’t　“particularly　interested　in　the　rules　and　regulations
  regarding　the　use　of　electronics”　and　to　“please　bore　someone　else
  with　them。”
  “But　ma’am；　it’s　against　the　rules；　and　I’m　going　to　have　to　ask
  that　you　disconnect　your　call　until　we’ve　reached　a　cruising
  altitude。　It’s　simply　unsafe；”　she　said　beseechingly。
  “Ahn…dre…ah；　can　you　hear　me？　Are　you　listening　。　。　。”
  “Ma’am；　I’m　going　to　have　to　insist。　Now　please；　hang　up　the　phone。”
  My　mouth　was　starting　to　ache　from　smiling　so　widely—I　could　only
  imagine　how　much　Miranda　was　hating　being　addressed　as　“ma’am；”
  which；　as　everyone　knows；　connotes　old　lady　all　the　way。
  “Ahn…dre…ah；　thestewardess　is　forcing　me　to　end　this　call。　I’ll　call
  you　back　when　thestewardess　allows　me　to　do　so。　In　the　meantime；　I
  want　hair　and　makeup　confirmed；　and　I’d　like　you　to　begin
  interviewing　new　girls　for　the　nanny　position。　That’s　all。”　It
  clicked　off；　but　not　before　I　heard　the　flight　attendant　call　her
  “ma’am”　one　last　time。
  “What　did　she　want？”　Emily　asked；　her　forehead　wrinkling　in　intense
  worry。
  “She　called　me　the　right　name　three　times　in　a　row；”　I　gloated；
  happy　to　prolong　her　anticipation。　“Three　times；　do　you　believe　it？
  I　think　that　means　we’re　best　friends；　doesn’t　it？　Who　would’ve
  thought？　Andrea　Sachs　and　Miranda　Priestly；　BFF。”
  “Andrea；　what　did　she　say？”
  “Well；　she　wants　the　Thursday　hair　and　makeup　confirmed　because
  clearly　ninety…nine　percent　isn’t　reassuring　enough。　Oh；　and　she
  said　something　about　interviewing　for　a　new　nanny？　I　must’ve
  misunderstood　that　one。　Whatever—she’ll　call　back　in　thirty
  seconds。”
  Emily　took　a　deep　breath　and　willed　herself　to　endure　my　stupidity
  with　grace　and　style。　It　clearly　wasn’t　easy　for　her。　“No；　I　don’t
  think　you　misunderstood　at　all。　Cara　is　no　longer　with　Miranda；　so
  obviously　she’ll　be　needing　a　new　nanny。”
  “What？　What　do　you　mean　no　longer　‘with　Miranda’？　If　she’s　no　longer
  ‘with　Miranda；’　then　where　the　hell　is　she？”　I　found　it　really　hard
  to　believe　Cara　wouldn’t　have　told　me　about　her　abrupt　departure。
  “Miranda　thought　Cara　might　be　happier　working　for　someone　else；”
  Emily　said　in　what　I’m　sure　was　much　more　diplomatic　phrasing　than
  Miranda　herself　had　used。　As　if　Miranda　had　ever　been　attuned　to
  other　people’s　Happiness！
  “Emily；　please。　Please　tell　me　what　really　happened。”
  “I　gathered　from　Caroline　that　Cara　had　grounded　the　girls　in　their
  rooms　after　they　talked　back　to　her　the　other　day。　Miranda　didn’t
  feel　it　was　appropriate　for　Cara　to　be　making　these　decisions。　And　I
  agree。　I　mean；　Cara　is　not　these　girls’　mother；　you　know？”
  So　Cara　had　gotten　fired　because　she　made　two　little　girls　sit　in
  their　bedrooms　after　they’d　surely　given　her　attitude？　“Yeah；　I　see
  your　point。　It’s　definitely　not　a　nanny’s　job　to　look　out　for　the
  well…being　of　her　charges；”　I　said；　nodding　solemnly。　“Cara　was　out
  of　line　there。”
  Emily　not　only　didn’t　react　to　my　dripping　sarcasm；　but　didn’t　seem
  to　detect　so　much　as　a　hint　of　it。　“Exactly。　And　besides；　Miranda
  never　liked　that　Cara　didn’t　speak　French。　How　are　the　girls
  supposed　to　learn　to　speak　it　without　an　American　accent？”
  Oh；　I　don’t　know。　Maybe　from　their　18；000…a…year　private　school；
  where　French　was　a　required　subject　and　all　three　of　the　French
  teachers　were　native　speakers？　Or　perhaps　from　their　own　fluent
  mother　who　had　herself　lived　in　France；　still　visited　a　half…dozen
  times　a　year　and　could　read；　write；　and　speak　the　language　with
  perfect；　lilting　pronunciation？　But　instead　I　said；　“Hey；　you’re
  right。　No　French；　no　nanny。　I　hear　you。”
  “Well；　regardless；　it’s　going　to　be　your　responsibility　to　find　the
  girls　a　new　nanny。　Here’s　the　number　of　the　agency　we　work　with；”
  she　said；　sending　it　to　me　in　an　e…mail。　“They　know　how
  ?