through　all　of　this？　Why　hadn’t　Lily　called　me？
  “He　was　actually　really　great；　he—”
  “Lily；　why—”
  “。　。　。　offered　to　stay　with　me　and　even　called　his　parents’　lawyer—”
  “Lily。　Lily！　Stop　for　a　second。　Why　didn’t　you　call　me？　You　know　I
  would’ve　been　there　in　a　second　and　not　left　until　they’d　let　you
  go。　So　why？　Why　didn’t　you　call　me？”
  “Oh；　Andy；　it　doesn’t　matter　anymore。　It　really　wasn’t　that　bad；　I
  swear。　I　can’t　believe　how　stupid　I　was；　and　trust　me；　I’m　over
  getting　that　drunk。　It’s　just　not　worth　it。”
  “Why？　Why　didn’t　you　call？　I　was　Home　all　night。”
  “It’s　not　important；　really。　I　didn’t　call　because　I　figured　you
  were　either　working　or　really；　really　tired；　and　I　didn’t　want　to
  bother　you。　Especially　on　a　Friday　night。”
  I　thought　back　to　what　I’d　been　doing　the　night　before　and　the　only
  thing　that　stuck　clearly　in　my　mind　was　watchingDirty　Dancing　on　TNT
  for　exactly　the　sixty…eighth　time　in　my　life。　And　out　of　all　those
  times；　that　had　been　the　first　that　I’d　fallen　asleep　before　Johnny
  announced；　“No　one　puts　Baby　in　the　corner；”　and　proceeded　to；　quite
  literally；　lift　her　off　her　feet；　until　Dr。　Houseman　admits　that　he
  knows　Johnny　wasn’t　the　one　who　got　Penny　in　trouble；　and　claps　him
  on　the　back　and　kisses　Baby；　who　has　recently　reclaimed　the　name
  Frances。　I　considered　the　whole　scene　a　defining　factor　in　my
  identity。
  “Working？　You　thought　I　was　working？　And　what　does　too　tired　have　to
  do　with　it　when　you　need　help？　Lil；　I　don’t　get　it。”
  “Look；　Andy；　let’s　drop　it；　OK？　You　work　constantly。　Day　and　night；
  and　lots　of　times　on　weekends。　And　when　you’re　not　working；　you’re
  plaining　about　work。　Not　that　I　don’t　understand；　because　I　know
  how　tough　your　job　is；　and　I　know　you　work　for　a　lunatic。　But　I
  wasn’t　going　to　be　the　one　to　interrupt　a　Friday　night　when　you
  might　actually　be　relaxing　or　hanging　out　with　Alex。　I　mean；　he　says
  he　never　sees　you；　and　I　didn’t　want　to　take　that　away　from　him。　If
  I’d　really　needed　you；　I　would’ve　called；　and　I　know　you　would’ve
  e　running。　But　I　swear；　it　wasn’t　so　bad。　Please；　can　we　forget
  it？　I’m　exhausted　and　I　really　need　a　shower　and　my　own　bed。”
  I　was　so　stunned　I　couldn’t　speak；　but　Lily　took　my　silence　for
  acquiescence。
  “You　there？”　she　asked　after　nearly　thirty　seconds；　during　which　I
  was　desperately　trying　to　find　the　words　to　apologize　or　explain　or
  something。　“Listen；　I　just　got　Home。　I　need　sleep。　Can　I　call　you
  later？”
  “Um；　uh；　sure；”　I　managed。　“Lil；　I’m　so　sorry。　If　I’ve　ever　given
  you　the　impression　that　you　can’t—”
  “Andy；　don’t。　Nothing’s　wrong—I’m　fine；　we’re　fine。　Let’s　just　talk
  later。”
  “OK。　Sleep　well。　Call　me　if　I　can　do　anything　。　。　。”
  “Will　do。　Oh；　how’s　the　new　place；　by　the　way？”
  “It’s　great；　Lil；　it　really　is。　You　did　a　fantastic　job　with　it。
  It’s　better　than　I’d　ever　imagined。　We’re　going　to　love　it　here。”　My
  voice　sounded　empty　to　my　own　ears；　and　it　was　obvious　I　was　talking
  just　for　the　sake　of　it；　keeping　her　on　the　phone　to　make　sure　our
  friendship　hadn’t　changed　in　some　inexplicable　but　permanent　way。
  “Great。　I’m　so　glad　you　like　it。　Hopefully　Tongue　Ring　Boy　will　like
  it；　too；”　she　joked；　although　that；　too；　sounded　hollow。
  We　hung　up　and　I　stood　in　the　living　room；　staring　at　the　phone
  until　my　mom　walked　in　to　announce　that　they　were　going　to　take　Alex
  and　me　out　for　lunch。
  “What’s　wrong；　Andy？　And　where’s　Lily？　I　figured　she’d　need　some
  help　with　her　stuff；　too；　but　we’re　not　going　to　stick　around　much
  after　three。　Is　she　on　her　way？”
  “No；　she’s；　uh；　she　got　sick　last　night。　It’s　been　ing　on　for　a
  few　days；　I　guess；　so　she　probably　won’t　move　in　until　tomorrow。
  That　was　just　her　on　the　phone。”
  “Well；　you’re　sure　she’s　all　right？　Do　you　think　we　should　go　over
  there？　I　always　feel　so　badly　for　that　girl—no　real　parents；　just
  that　cranky　old　bat　of　a　grandmother。”　She　put　her　hand　on　my
  shoulder；　as　if　to　drive　Home　the　pain。　“She’s　lucky　she’s　got　you
  for　a　friend。　Otherwise　she’d　be　all　alone　in　the　world。”
  My　voice　caught　in　my　throat；　but　after　a　few　seconds　I　managed　a
  few　words。　“Yeah；　I　guess　so。　But　she’s　fine；　she　really　is。　Just
  going　to　sleep　it　off。　Let’s　get　sandwiches；　OK？　The　doorman　said
  there’s　a　great　deli　four　blocks　down。”
  “Miranda　Priestly’s　office；”　I　answered　in　my　now　usual　bored　tone
  that　I　hoped　conveyed　my　misery　to　whoever　was　daring　to　interrupt
  my　e…mailing　time。
  “Hi；　is　that　Em…Em…Em…Emily？”　asked　a　lisping；　stuttering　voice　on
  the　other　end。
  “No；　it’s　Andrea。　I’m　Miranda’s　new　assistant；”　I　said；　even　though
  I’d　already　introduced　myself　to　a　thousand　curious　callers。
  “Ah；　Miranda’s　new　assistant；”　the　strange　female　voice　roared。
  “Aren’t　you　the　luckiest　girl　in　the　w…w…w…world！　How　are　you
  finding　your　tenure　with　supreme　evil　thus　far？”
  I　perked　up。　This　was　new。　In　all　the　days　I’d　worked　atRunway；　I’d
  never　met　a　single　person　who　dared　to　badmouth　Miranda　so　boldly。
  Was　she　serious？　Could　she　be　baiting　me？
  “Um；　well；　working　atRunway　has　been　a　really　great　learning
  experience；”　I　heard　myself　stutter。　“It’s　a　job　a　million　girls
  would　die　for；　of　course。”　Did　I　just　say　that？
  There　was　a　moment　of　silence；　followed　by　a　hyena…like　howl。　“Oh；
  that’s　just　f…f…f…fucking　perfect！”　she　screeched；　doing　some　sort
  of　simultaneous　laugh…choke。　“Does　she　lock　you　in　your　West　Village
  studio　apartment　and　deprive　you　of　all　things　G…g…g…gucci　until
  you’re　brainwashed　enough　to　actually　say　shit　like　that？
  F…f…f…fantastic！　That　woman　is　really　a　piece　of　work！　Well；　Miss
  Learning　Experience；　I’d　heard　through　the　grapevine　that　Miranda
  had　actually　hired　herself　a　thinking　l…l…l…l…lackey　this　time
  around；　but　I　see　that　the　grapevine；　as　usual；　is　wrong。　You　like
  Michael　Kors　t…t…twinsets　and　all　the　pretty　fur　coats　at　J。
  Mendel’s？　Yes；　sweetie；　you’ll　do　just　fine。　Now　put　that　skinny…ass
  boss　of　yours　on　the　phone。”
  I　was　conflicted。　My　first　impulse　was　to　tell　her　to　fuck　off；　tell
  her　she　didn’t　know　me；　that　it’s　easy　to　see　she　tries　to
  pensate　for　her　stuttering　with　a　major　attitude　problem。　More
  than　that；　though；　I　wanted　to　press　the　phone　close　to　my　lips　and
  urgently　whisper；　“I　am　a　prisoner；　more　than　you　can
  imagine—please；　oh；　please；　e　and　rescue　me　from　this　brainwash
  hell。　You’re　right；　it’s　just　the　way　you　describe；　but　I’m
  different！”　But　I　didn’t　get　the　chance　to　do　either；　because　it
  finally　occurred　to　me　that　I　had　no　idea　who　owned　the　raspy；
  stuttering　voice　on　the　other　end　of　the　phone。
  I　sucked　in　my　breath　and　decided　to　hit　her　point　for　point—on
  every　subject　but　Miranda。　“Well；　I　do　adore　Michael　Kors；　of
  course；　but　I　must　tell　you　that　it’s　certainly　not　because　of
  histwinsets　。　Furs　from　J。　Mendel’s　are　wonderful；　of　course；　but　a
  realRunway　girl—that　is；　someone　with　discriminating　and　impeccable
  taste—would　probably　prefer　something　custom　made　from　Pologeorgis
  on　Twenty…ninth　Street。　Oh；　and　for　the　future；　I’d　prefer　if　you
  used　the　more　casual　‘hired　help’　instead　of　something　as　stiff　and
  unforgiving　as　‘lackey。’　Now；　of　course；　I’ll　be　happy　to　correct
  any　more　incorrect　assumptions　you’d　care　to　make；　but　maybe　I　could
  ask　with　whom　am　I　speaking　first？”
  “Touché；　Miranda’s　new　assistant；　touché。　You　and　I　m…m…may　be
  friends　after　all。　I　d…d…d…don’t　much　like　the　usual　robots　she
  hires；　but　it’s　fitting　because　I　don’t　much　like　her。　My　name　is
  Judith　Mason；　and　in　c…c…case　you　aren’t　aware；　I　author　your　travel
  articles　each　m…m…m…month。　Now；　tell　me　this；　since　you’re　still
  relatively　new　now：　Is　the　h…h…honeymoon　over？”
  I　was　silent。　What　did　she　mean　by　this？　It　was　like　talking　to　a
  ticking　bomb。
  “Well？　You’re　in　that　fascinating　window　of　time　w…w…w…where　you’ve
  been　there　long　enough　for　everyone　to　know　your　name；　but　not　long
  enough　that　they　uncover　and　exploit　all　your　weaknesses。　It’s　a
  really　sweet　feeling　when　th…th…th…that　happens；　trust　me。　You’re
  working　in　a　really　special　place。”
  But　before　I　could　respond；　she　said；　“Enough　f…f…f…flirting　for
  now；　my　new　friend。　Don’t　b…b…b…bother　telling　her　it’s　me；　because
  she　never　takes　my　c…c…calls　anyway。　Stuttering　pisses　her　off；　I
  think。　Just　be　sure　to　put　my　n…n…n…name　down　on　the　Bulletin　so　she
  can　make　someone　else　call　me　back。　Thanks；　l…l…love。”　Click。
  I　hung　up　th