dishwasher　and　washer…dryer；　and　three　bedrooms　and　two　bathrooms？”
  she　pointed　out；　as　if　she　were　the　first　to　make　this　realization。
  For　2；280　you　could　get　a　beachfront　townhouse　in　LA；　a　three…story
  condo　on　a　tree…lined　street　in　Chicago；　a　four…bedroom　split…level
  in　Miami；　or　a　goddamn　castle　with　a　moat　in　Cleveland。　Yes；　we　knew
  this。
  “And　two　parking　spots；　access　to　the　golf　course；　gym；　and　pool；”　I
  added　helpfully。　“Yeah；　I　know。　But　believe　it　or　not；　this　is　a
  great　deal。　I　think　we’ll　be　very　happy　here。”
  She　hugged　me。　“I　think　you　will　be；　too。　As　long　as　you　don’t　work
  too　hard　to　enjoy　it；”　she　said　lightly。
  My　dad　walked　in　and　opened　the　duffel　bag　that　he’d　been　dragging
  around　all　day；　one　I’d　assumed　held　racquetball　clothes　for　his
  game　later。　But　he　pulled　out　a　maroon　box　emblazoned　with　“Limited
  Edition！”　across　the　front。　Scrabble。　The　collector’s　edition；　where
  the　board　came　mounted　on　its　own　lazy　Susan　and　the　squares　had
  little　raised　borders　so　the　letters　didn’t　slide　around。　We’d　been
  admiring　them　together　in　specialty　game　stores　for　the　past　ten
  years；　but　no　occasion　had　ever　warranted　purchasing　one。
  “Oh；　Dad。　You　shouldn’t　have！”　I　knew　the　board　cost　well　over　two
  hundred　dollars。　“Oh！　I　just　love　it！”
  “Use　it　in　good　health；”　he　said；　hugging　me　back。　“Or　better　yet；
  to　kick　your　old　man’s　ass；　as　I　know　you　will。　I　remember　when　I
  used　to　let　you　win。　I　had　to；　or　you’d　stomp　around　the　house；
  sulking　all　night。　And　now！　Well；　now　my　old　brain　cells　are　fried
  and　I　couldn’t　beat　you　if　I　tried。　Not　that　I　won’t；”　he　added。
  I　was　about　to　tell　him　that　I’d　learned　from　the　best；　but　Alex　had
  walked　in。　And　he　didn’t　look　happy。
  “What’s　wrong？”　I　immediately　asked　as　he　fidgeted　with　his
  sneakers。
  “Oh；　nothing　at　all；”　he　lied　while　glancing　in　the　direction　of　my
  parents。　He　shot　me　a　“just　hold　on　a　sec”　look　and　said；　“Here；　I
  brought　a　box。”
  “Let’s　go　get　a　few　more；”　my　dad　said　to　my　mom；　moving　toward　the
  door。　“Maybe　Mr。　Fisher　has　some　sort　of　cart。　We　could　bring　a
  bunch　up　at　once。　Be　right　back。”
  I　looked　at　Alex；　and　we　both　waited　until　we’d　heard　the　elevator
  open　and　close。
  “So；　I　just　talked　to　Lily；”　he　said　slowly。
  “She’s　not　still　mad　at　me；　is　she？　She’s　been　so　weird　all　week。”
  “No；　I　don’t　think　it’s　that。”
  “So　what　is　it？”
  “Well；　she　wasn’t　at　Home　。　。　。”
  “So　where　is　she？　Some　guy’s　apartment？　I　can’t　believe　she’s　late
  for　her　own　moving　day。”　I　yanked　open　one　of　the　windows　in　the
  converted　bedroom　to　let　some　of　the　cold　air　dissipate　the　smell　of
  new　paint。
  “No；　she　was　actually　at　a　police　precinct　in　midtown。”　He　looked　at
  his　shoes。
  “She　was　where？　Is　she　OK？　Ohmigod！　Was　she　mugged　or　raped？　I　have
  to　go　to　her　right　away。”
  “Andy；　she’s　fine。　She　was　arrested。”　He　said　it　quietly；　as　if　he
  were　breaking　the　news　to　a　parent　that　their　child　wasn’t　going　to
  pass　fourth　grade。
  “Arrested？　She　was　arrested？”　I　tried　to　stay　calm；　but　I　realized
  too　late　that　I　was　screaming。　My　dad　walked　in；　pulling　a　giant
  cart　that　looked　ready　to　topple　under　the　weight　of　unevenly
  stacked　boxes。
  “Who　was　arrested？”　he　asked　off…handedly。　“Mr。　Fisher　brought　all
  this　stuff　up　for　us。”
  I　was　racking　my　brain　for　a　lie；　but　Alex　stepped　in　before　I　could
  think　of　anything　remotely　plausible。　“Oh；　I　was　just　telling　Andy
  that　I　saw　on　VH…1　last　night　that　one　of　the　girls　from　TLC　was
  arrested　on　drug　charges。　And　she　always　seemed　like　one　of　the
  straighter　ones　。　。　。”
  My　dad　shook　his　head　and　surveyed　the　room；　only　half　listening　and
  probably　wondering　when　exactly　Alex　or　myself　had　bee　so
  interested　in　female　pop　stars　that　we　actually　discussed　it。　“I’m
  thinking　that　the　only　real　place　your　bed　can　go　is　with　the　head
  against　the　far　wall；”　he　said。　“Speaking　of　which；　I　better　go　see
  how　they’re　doing。”
  I　literally　flung　my　body　in　front　of　Alex　the　minute　the　apartment
  door　closed。
  “Quickly！　Tell　me　what　happened。　What　happened？”
  “Andy；　you’re　shrieking。　It’s　not　so　bad。　Actually；　it’s　kind　of
  funny。”　His　eyes　crinkled　as　he　laughed；　and　for　a　brief　second　he
  looked　just　like　Eduardo。　Ew。
  “Alex　Fineman；　you　better　fucking　tell　me　right　now　what　happened
  with　my　best　friend—”
  “OK；　OK；　relax。”　He　was　clearly　enjoying　this。　“She　was　out　with
  some　guy　last　night　that　she　referred　to　as　Tongue　Ring　Boy—do　we
  know　who　that　is？”
  I　stared　at　him。
  “Anyway；　they　went　out　for　dinner　and　Tongue　Ring　Boy　was　walking
  her　Home；　and　she　thought　it’d　be　fun　to　flash　him；　right　there　on
  the　street　outside　the　restaurant。　‘Sexy；’　she　said。　To　get　him
  interested。”
  I　envisioned　Lily　unwrapping　a　dinner　mint　and　strolling　outside
  after　a　romantic　meal；　only　to　pull　away　and　yank　up　her　shirt　for　a
  guy　who’d　paid　to　have　someone　ram　a　post　through　his　tongue。　Jesus。
  “Oh　no。　She　didn’t　。　。　。”
  Alex　nodded　somberly；　trying　not　to　laugh。
  “You’re　telling　me　my　friend　got　arrested　for　showing　her　breasts？
  That’s　ridiculous。　This　is　New　York。　I　see　women　every　day　who　are
  practically　topless—and　that’s　in　the　workplace！”　I　was　shrieking
  again；　but　I　couldn’t　help　it。
  “Her　bottom。”　He　was　looking　at　his　shoes　again；　and　his　face　was　so
  red；　I　couldn’t　tell　if　he　was　embarrassed　or　hysterical。
  “Her　what？”
  “Not　her　breasts。　Her　bottom。　Her　lower　half。　Like；　all　of　it。　Front
  and　back。”　An　ear…to…ear　grin　had　finally　broken　out；　and　he　looked
  so　delighted　that　I　thought　he　might　wet　himself。
  “Oh；　say　it　isn’t　true；”　I　moaned；　wondering　what　my　friend　had
  gotten　herself　into　now。　“And　a　cop　saw　her　and　arrested　her？”
  “No；　evidently　two　little　kids　saw　her　do　it　and　pointed　it　out　to
  their　mother　。　。　。”
  “Oh；　god。”
  “So；　the　mother　asked　her　to　pull　her　pants　back　up；　and　Lily　loudly
  told　her　what　she　could　do　with　her　opinions；　and　the　woman　went　and
  found　a　cop　standing　on　the　next　street　over。”
  “Oh；　stop。　Oh；　please；　just　stop。”
  “It　gets　better。　By　the　time　the　woman　and　the　cop　came　back；　Lily
  and　Tongue　Ring　Boy　were　going　at　it　on　the　street；　pretty　hot　and
  heavy　from　what　she　said。”
  “Who　is　this？　This　is　my　friend　Lily　Goodwin？　My　sweet；　adorable
  best　friend　from　eighth　grade　now　gets　naked　and　hooks　up　on　street
  corners？　With　guys　who　have　tongue　rings？”
  “Andy；　calm　down。　Really；　she’s　fine。　The　only　reason　the　cop
  actually　arrested　her　was　because　she　gave　him　the　finger　when　he
  asked　if　she　had；　in　fact；　pulled　her　pants　down　。　。　。”
  “Oh；　my　god。　I　can’t　take　it　anymore。　This　is　what　it　must　feel　like
  to　be　a　mother。”
  “。　。　。　but　they　let　her　go　with　just　a　warning；　and　she’s　going　back
  to　her　apartment　to　recover—sounds　like　she　was　pretty　drunk。　I
  mean；　why　else　would　someone　flip　off　a　police　officer？　So　don’t
  worry。　Let’s　get　you　moved　in　and　then　we　can　go　see　her　if　you
  want。”　He　headed　toward　the　cart　my　dad　had　left　in　the　middle　of
  the　living　room　and　started　unloading　boxes。
  I　couldn’t　wait　until　later；　I　had　to　see　what　had　happened。　She
  picked　up　on　the　fourth　ring；　right　before　it　clicked　into　voice
  mail；　as　if　she’d　been　debating　whether　or　not　to　answer　it。
  “Are　you　OK？”　I　asked　her　the　second　I　heard　her　voice。
  “Hey；　Andy。　Hope　I’m　not　screwing　up　the　move　at　all。　You　don’t　need
  me；　right？　Sorry　about　all　this。”
  “No；　I　don’t　care　about　that；　I　care　about　you。　Are　you　OK？”　It　had
  just　occurred　to　me　that　Lily　may　have　spent　the　night　at　the　police
  station；　considering　that　it　was　early　Saturday　morning　and　she　was
  just　leaving。　“Did　you　stay　overnight？　Injail？　”
  “Well；　yeah；　I　guess　you　could　say　that。　It　wasn’t　so　bad；　nothing
  like　TV　or　anything。　I　just　slept　in　this　room　with　one　other
  totally　harmless　girl　who　was　in　for　something　just　as　stupid。　The
  guards　were　totally　cool—it　really　wasn’t　a　big　deal。　No　bars　or
  anything。”　She　laughed；　but　it　sounded　hollow。
  I　digested　this　for　a　moment；　tried　to　reconcile　the　image　of　sweet
  little　hippie　Lily　getting　cornered　in　a　urine…flooded　cell　by　an
  extremely　angry　and　possessive　lesbian。　“Where　the　hell　was　Tongue
  Ring　Boy　through　all　of　this？　Did　he　just　leave　you　to　rot　in　jail？”
  But　before　she　could　answer；　it　occurred　to　me：　Where　the　hell　was　I
  through　all　of　this？　Why　hadn’t　Lily　called　me？
  “He　was　actually　really　great；　he?