that　having　a　gourmet　lunch　appear　on　her　desk　that　she　didn’t　feel
  like　eating　had　been　a　really　stressful　part　of　her　day。
  Emily　had　just　returned　with　a　can　of　Diet　Coke　and　a　package　of
  raisins　for　me。　This　was　supposed　to　be　the　snack　to　tide　me　over　to
  lunch；　and　of　course　there　wasn’t　a　single　calorie　or　gram　of　fat　or
  ounce　of　added　sugar　in　the　whole　thing。　She　dropped　them　on　her
  desk　when　she　heard　Miranda　calling　and　ran　over　to　shut　her　French
  doors。
  “What　happened？”　she　whispered；　eyeing　the　untouched　tray　of　food
  that　I　was　holding；　frozen　to　the　spot　near　my　desk。
  “Oh；　it　seems　our　charming　boss　already　had　her　lunch；”　I　hissed
  through　clenched　teeth。　“And　she　just　reamed　me　out　for　not
  predicting；　not　divining；　not　being　able　to　look　directly　inside　her
  stomach　and　know　that　she　wasn’t　hungry　anymore。”
  “You’re　kidding　me；”　she　said。　“She　yelled　at　you　because　you　ran　to
  get　her　lunch—just　like　she　asked—and　then　couldn’t　possibly　have
  known　that　she’d　already　eaten　somewhere　else？　What　a　bitch！”
  I　nodded。　It　was　a　phenomenal　change　of　pace　to　have　Emily　actually
  take　my　side　for　once；　not　to　lecture　me　on　all　the　ways　I　Just
  Don’t　Get　It。　But；　wait！　It　was　too　good　to　be　true。　Like　a　sun　that
  falls　out　of　the　sky；　leaving　only　pink　and　blue　streaks　where　it
  had　shone　seconds　before；　Emily’s　face　flashed　from　angry　to
  contrite。　TheRunway　Paranoid　Turnaround。
  “Remember　what　we　talked　about　before；　Andrea。”　Oh；　yes；　here　it
  es。　RPT；　twelve　o’clock。　“She　doesn’t　do　it　to　hurt　you。　She
  doesn’t　mean　anything　by　it。　She’s　just　way　too　important　to　get
  held　up　on　the　little　stuff。　So　don’t　fight　it。　Just　throw　out　the
  food；　and　let’s　move　on。”　Emily　fixed　her　features　in　a　determined
  look　and　took　a　seat　in　front　of　her　puter。　I　knew　she　was
  wondering　right　then　and　there　if　Miranda　had　had　our　outer　office
  areas　bugged　and　had　heard　the　whole　thing。　She　was　red　and
  flustered　and　very　obviously　displeased　with　her　lack　of　control。　I
  didn’t　know　how　she　had　survived　as　long　as　she　had。
  I　thought　about　eating　the　steak　myself；　but　the　mere　thought　that
  it　had　been　on　Miranda’s　desk　only　moments　earlier　made　me　feel
  nauseated。　I　took　the　tray　to　the　kitchen　and　tilted　it　so　every
  single　item　would　just　slide　directly　into　the　garbage—all　the
  expertly　cooked　and　seasoned　food；　the　china　plate；　the　metal　butter
  container；　the　salt　box；　the　linen　napkin；　the　silver；　the　steak
  knife；　and　the　Baccarat　glass。　Gone。　All　gone。　What　did　it　matter？
  I’d　get　it　all　over　again　the　next　day；　or　whenever　it　was　that　she
  may　again　be　hungry　for　lunch。
  By　the　time　I’d　made　it　to　Drinkland；　Alex　looked　annoyed　and　Lily
  looked　wasted。　I　immediately　wondered　if　Alex　somehow　knew　that　I’d
  been　asked　out　on　a　date　today；　by　a　guy　who　was　not　only　famous　and
  older；　but　also　a　plete　and　total　dickhead。　Could　he　tell？　Did　he
  sense　it？　Should　I　tell　him？　No；　no　need　to　get　into　it　with　him
  when　it　was　so　insignificant。　It　wasn’t　like　I　was　admitting　to
  being　interested　in　some　other　guy；　not　like　I　would　actually　ever
  act　on　it。　So　there　was　nothing　to　gain　by　mentioning　the
  conversation　at　all。
  “Hey　there；　fashion　girl；”　Lily　slurred；　waving　her　gin　and　tonic
  toward　me　in　a　salute。　Some　of　it　splashed　down　the　front　of　her
  cardigan；　but　she　didn’t　seem　to　notice。　“Or　should　I　say；　future
  roomie？　Get　a　drink。　We　need　to　have　a　toast！”　It　came　out　sounding
  like　“toath。”
  I　kissed　Alex　and　sat　down　next　to　him。
  “Don’t　you　look　hot　today！”　he　said；　eyeing　my　Prada　outfit
  appreciatively。　“When　did　this　happen？”
  “Oh；　today。　Right　around　the　time　it　was　all　but　spelled　out　that　if
  I　didn’t　fix　my　look　I　might　not　have　a　job　anymore。　Pretty
  insulting　stuff；　but　I　have　to　say；　if　you’ve　got　to　put　something
  on　every　day；　this　stuff　isn’t　half　bad。
  “Hey；　listen；　guys。　I’m　really；　really　sorry　I’m　late。　The　Book　took
  forever　tonight；　and　as　soon　as　I　dropped　it　off　at　Miranda’s　she
  had　me　run　to　the　corner　deli　and　pick　up　some　basil。”
  “I　thought　you　said　she　had　a　cook；”　Alex　pointed　out。　“Why　couldn’t
  he　do　it？”
  “She　does　indeed　have　a　cook。　She　also　has　a　housekeeper；　a　nanny；
  and　two　children。　So　I　have　no　idea　why　I　was　the　one　sent　out　for
  dinner　spices。　It　was　especially　annoying　since　Fifth　Avenue　doesn’t
  have　any　corner　delis；　and　neither　does　Madison　or　Park；　so　I　had　to
  go　all　the　way　to　Lex　to　find　one。　But；　of　course；　they　didn’t　sell
  basil；　so　I　had　to　walk　up　nine　blocks　until　I　found　an　open
  D’Agostino’s。　It　took　me　an　extra　forty…five　minutes。　I　should　just
  expense　a　fucking　spice　rack　and　start　traveling　with　it　wherever　I
  go。　But　let　me　tell　you；　those　were　a　really；　really　worthwhile
  forty…five　minutes！　I　mean；　think　of　how　much　I　learned　shopping　for
  that　basil；　how　better　prepared　I　am　for　my　future　in　magazines！　I’m
  on　the　fast　track　to　being　an　editor　now！”　I　flashed　a　winning
  smile。
  “To　your　future！”　Lily　cried；　not　detecting　a　single　hint　of　sarcasm
  in　my　diatribe。
  “She’s　so　far　gone；”　Alex　said　quietly；　watching　Lily　with　the　look
  of　someone　watching　a　sick　relative　sleep　in　a　hospital　bed。　“I　got
  here　on　time　with　Max；　who　already　left；　but　she　must’ve　been　here
  for　hours　already。　Either　that；　or　she　drinks　really　fast。”
  Lily　had　always　been　a　big　drinker；　but　it　wasn’t　weird；　because
  Lily　was　a　big　everything。　She　was　the　first　one　to　smoke　pot　in
  junior　high　and　the　first　one　to　lose　her　virginity　in　high　school
  and　the　first　to　go　skydiving　in　college。　She　loved　anyone　and
  anything　that　didn’t　love　her　back；　so　long　as　it　made　herfeel
  alive。
  “I　just　don’t　understand　how　you　can　sleep　with　him　when　you　know
  he’s　never　going　to　break　up　with　his　girlfriend；”　I’d　said　about　a
  guy　she’d　been　secretly　seeing　our　junior　year。
  “I　just　don’t　understand　how　you　can　play　by　so　many　rules；”　she’d
  shot　back　instantly。　“Where’s　the　fun　in　all　your　perfectly　planned；
  mapped…out；　rule…filled　life？　Live　a　little；　Andy！　Feel　something！
  It’s　good　to　be　alive！”
  Maybe　she　had　been　drinking　a　little　more　lately；　but　I　knew　that
  her　first…year　studies　were　incredibly　stressful；　even　for　her；　and
  that　her　professors　at　Columbia　were　more　demanding　and　less
  understanding　than　the　ones　she’d　had　wrapped　around　her　finger　at
  Brown。It　might　not　be　a　bad　idea；　I　thought；　signaling　to　the
  waitress。　Maybe　drinking　was　the　way　to　handle　it。　I　ordered　an
  Absolut　and　grapefruit　juice　and　took　a　long；　deep　swig。　It　made　me
  feel　more　sick　than　anything；　because　I　still　hadn’t　had　time　to　eat
  anything　except　the　raisins　and　the　Diet　Coke　Emily　had　scraped
  together　for　me　earlier　that　day。
  “I’m　sure　she’s　just　had　a　rough　couple　of　weeks　in　school；”　I　said
  to　Alex　as　though　Lily　weren’t　sitting　with　us。　She　didn’t　notice　we
  were　talking　about　her　because　she　was　preoccupied　giving　some
  yuppie　guy　at　the　bar　heavy…lidded；　e…hither　looks。　Alex　put　his
  arm　around　me　and　I　snuggled　closer　on　the　couch。　It　felt　so　good　to
  be　near　him　again—it　seemed　like　it　had　been　weeks。
  “I　hate　to　be　a　buzz…kill；　but　I　really　have　to　get　Home；”　Alex
  said；　pushing　my　hair　back　behind　my　ear。　“Will　you　be　OK　with　her？”
  “You　have　to　leave？　Already？”
  “Already？　Andy；　I’ve　been　here　watching　your　best　friend　drink　for
  the　past　two　hours。　I　came　to　see　you；　but　you　weren’t　here。　And　now
  it’s　almost　midnight；　and　I　still　have　essays　to　correct。”　He　said
  it　calmly；　but　I　could　see　that　he　was　upset。
  “I　know；　I’m　sorry　about　that；　I　really　am。　You　know　that　I　would’ve
  been　there　if　I　could’ve　helped　it　at　all。　You　know　that—”
  “I　do　know　all　that。　I’m　not　saying　you　did　anything　wrong　or　that
  you　could’ve　done　anything　differently。　I　understand。　But　try　to
  understand　where　I’m　ing　from；　too；　OK？”
  I　nodded　and　kissed　him；　but　I　felt　awful。　I　pledged　to　make　it　up
  to　him；　to　pick　a　night　and　plan　something　really　special　for　just
  the　two　of　us。　He　did；　after　all；　put　up　with　a　lot　from　me。
  “So；　you　won’t　even　stay　over　tonight？”　I　asked　hopefully。
  “Not　unless　you　need　help　with　Lily。　I　really　need　to　get　Home　and
  work　on　those　papers。”　He　hugged　me　good…bye；　kissed　Lily　on　the
  cheek；　and　headed　toward　the　door。　“Call　me　if　you　need　me；”　he　said
  as　he　walked　out。
  “Hey；　why’d　Alex　leave？”　Lily　asked；　even　though　she’d　been　sitting
  there　through　the　entire　conversation。　“Is　he　mad　at　you？”
  “Probably；”　I　sighed；　hugging　my　ca