going　number　two　outside。　“You　really　outdid　yourself　today。”
  He　beamed　and　then　looked　at　the　ground　in　practiced　humility。
  “Well；　thank　you。　You　know　how　I　feel　about　Ms。　Priestly；　and；　well；
  it’s　really　an　honor　to；　well；　you　know　。　。　。”
  “Prepare　her　lunch？”　I　supplied；　helpfully。
  “Well；　yes。　Exactly。　You　know　what　I　mean。”
  “Yes；　of　course　I　do；　Sebastian。　She’ll　love　it；　I’m　sure。”　I　didn’t
  have　the　heart　to　tell　him　that　I　immediately　unfolded　all　of　his
  creations　because　the　Ms。　Priestly　he　so　adored　would　throw　a　hissy
  fit　if　faced　with　a　napkin　in　the　shape　of　anything　other　than　a
  napkin—never　mind　a　bowling　bag　or　a　high…heeled　shoe。　I　tucked　the
  bag　under　my　arm　and　turned　to　leave；　but　just　then　my　phone　rang。
  Sebastian　looked　at　me　expectantly；　fervently　hoping　that　the　voice
  on　the　other　line　of　my　Cell　Phone　would　be　his　love；　his　reason　for
  living。　He　wasn’t　let　down。
  “Is　this　Emily？　Emily；　is　that　you；　I　can　barely　hear　you！”
  Miranda’s　voice　came　over　the　line　in　a　shrill；　angry　staccato。
  “Hello；　Miranda。　Yes；　this　is　Andrea。”　I　stated　calmly　while
  Sebastian　visibly　swooned　at　the　sound　of　her　name。
  “Are　you　preparing　my　lunch　yourself；　Andrea？　Because　according　to
  my　clock；　I　asked　for　it　thirty…five　minutes　ago。　I　cannot　think　of
  a　single　reason　why—if　you　were　doing　your　job　properly—my　lunch
  would　not　be　at　my　desk　yet。　Can　you？”
  She　got　my　name　right！　A　small　success；　but　no　time　to　celebrate。
  “Uh；　um；　well；　I’m　very　sorry　it’s　taken　so　long；　but　there　was　a
  little　mix…up　with—”
  “You　do　know　just　how　uninterested　I　am　in　such　details；　do　you
  not？”
  “Yes；　of　course　I　understand；　and　it　won’t　be　long　before—”
  “I　am　calling　to　tell　you　that　I　want　my　lunch；　and　I　want　itnow　。
  There’s　really　not　much　room　for　nuance；　Emily。　I。　Want。　My。　Lunch。
  Now！”　With　that；　she　hung　up　the　phone；　and　my　hands　were　shaking　so
  badly　I　dropped　my　cell　on　the　floor。　It　might　as　well　have　been
  covered　in　burning　arsenic。
  Sebastian；　who　looked　ready　to　pass　out　from　the　action；　swooped
  down　to　retrieve　the　phone　and　hand　it　back　to　me。
  “Is　she　upset　with　us；　Andrea？　I　hope　she　doesn’t　think　we　let　her
  down！　Does　she？　Does　she　think　that？”　His　mouth　pursed　into　a　tight
  oval　and　the　already　prominent　veins　in　his　forehead　pulsed；　and　I
  wanted　to　hate　him　as　much　as　I　hated　her；　but　I　just　felt　sorry　for
  him。　Why　did　this　man；　this　man　who　seemed　remarkable　only　to　the
  extent　that　he　was　so　unremarkable；　why　did　he　care　so　much　about
  Miranda　Priestly？　Why　was　he　so　invested　in　pleasing　her；　impressing
  her；　providing　for　her？　Perhaps　he　should　take　over　my　job；　I
  thought；　because　I　was　going　to　quit。　Yes；　that　was　it。　I　was　going
  to　march　back　to　that　office　and　quit。　Who　needed　her　shit？　What
  gave　her　the　right　to　talk　to　me；　to　anyone；　like　that？　The
  position？　The　power？　The　prestige？　The　goddamn　Prada？　Where；　in　a
  just　universe；　was　this　acceptable　behavior？
  The　receipt　I　was　supposed　to　sign　every　day　charging　the
  ninety…five…dollar　meal　to　Elias…Clark　was　resting　on　the　podium；
  and　I　quickly　scrawled　an　illegible　signature。　Whether　it　was　mine
  or　Miranda’s　or　Emily’s　or　Mahatma　Gandhi’s　at　this　point　I　couldn’t
  even　be　sure；　but　it　wouldn’t　matter。　I　grabbed　the　bag　of　food　that
  redefined　the　term　“lunch　meat”　and　stomped　back　outside；　leaving　a
  very　fragile　Sebastian　to　deal　with　himself。　I　threw　myself　in　a　cab
  the　moment　I　hit　the　street；　nearly　knocking　an　elderly　man　off　his
  feet。　No　time　to　be　concerned。　I　had　a　job　to　quit。　Even　with　the
  midday　traffic；　we　covered　the　few　blocks　in　ten　minutes；　and　I
  threw　the　cabbie　a　twenty。　I　would’ve　given　him　fifty　if　I’d　had　it
  and　figured　out　a　way　to　recoup　it　from　Elias；　but　there　were　none
  in　my　wallet。　He　immediately　began　counting　out　change；　but　I
  slammed　the　door　and　ran。　Let　that　twenty　go　to　caring　for　a　little
  girl　somewhere　or　fixing　a　hot　water　heater；　I　decided。　Or　even　for
  a　few　postshift　beers　at　the　cab　park　in　Queens—whatever　the　cabbie
  did　with　it　would　somehow　be　nobler　than　buying　yet　another　cup　of
  Starbucks。
  Full　of　self…righteous　indignation；　I　stormed　inside　the　building
  and　ignored　the　disapproving　stares　from　the　small　group　of　Clackers
  in　the　corner。　I　saw　Benji　stepping　off　the　Bergman　elevators　but
  quickly　turned　my　back　so　I　didn’t　waste　any　more　time；　swiped　my
  card；　and　threw　my　hip　against　the　turnstile。　Shit！　The　metal　bar
  smacked　against　my　pelvic　bone　and　I　knew　I’d　have　a　splotchy　purple
  bruise　within　minutes。　I　looked　up　to　see　two　rows　of　glimmering
  white　teeth　and　the　fat；　sweating　face　that　formed　around　them。
  Eduardo。　He　had　to　be　kidding。　He　just　had　to　be。
  I　quickly　flashed　him　my　best　nasty　look；　the　one　that　said；　quite
  simply；Just　die！　but　it　didn’t　work　today。　Maintaining　full　eye
  contact；　I　swiveled　around　to　the　next　turnstile　in　the　line；　swiped
  my　card　lightning…fast；　and　lunged　against　the　bar。　He’d　managed　to
  lock　it　just　in　time；　and　I　stood　there　as　he　let　the　Clackers　go
  through　the　first　turnstile　I’d　tried；　one　by　one。　Six　in　all；　and　I
  still　stood　there；　so　frustrated　I　thought　I　might　cry。　Eduardo　was
  not　sympathetic。
  “Girlfriend；　don’t　look　so　down。　This　ain’t　torture；　it’s　fun。　Now；
  please。　Pay　attention；　because　。　。　。I　think　we’re　alone　now。　There
  doesn’t　seem　to　be　anyone　a…rou…ound。　I　think　we’re　alone　now。　The
  beatin’　of　our　hearts　is　the　only　sou…ound　。”
  “Eduardo！　How　on　earth　am　I　supposed　to　act　out　that　one？　I　don’t
  have　time　for　this　shit　right　now！”
  “OK；　OK。　No　actin’　this　time；　just　singin’。　I’ll　start；　you
  finish。Children　behave！　That’s　what　they　say　when　we’re　together。
  And　watch　how　you　play！　They　don’t　understand；　and　so　we’re　。　。　。　”
  I　figured　I　wouldn’t　have　to　quit　if　I　ever　actually　made　it
  upstairs　because　I’d　be　fired　by　then　anyway。　Might　as　well　make
  someone　else’s　day。“Running　just　as　fast　as　we　can；”　I　continued；
  not　missing　a　beat。“Holdin’　on　to　one　another’s　hand。　Tryin’　to　get
  away　into　the　night　and　then　you　put　your　arms　around　me　and　we
  tumble　to　the　ground　and　then　you　say　。　。　。”
  I　leaned　in　closer　when　I　noticed　that　the　jerk　from　day　one；
  Mickey；　was　trying　to　listen；　and　Eduardo　finished　it　off：“I　think
  we’re　alone　now。　There　doesn’t　seem　to　be　anyone　a…rou…ound。　I　think
  we’re　alone　now。　The　beatin’　of　our　hearts　is　the　only　sou…ound！”　He
  guffawed　and　threw　his　hand　in　the　air。　I　slapped　him　high　five；　and
  I　heard　the　metal　bar　click　open。
  “Have　a　good　lunch；　Andy！”　he　called；　still　grinning。
  “You；　too；　Eduardo；　you；　too。”
  The　elevator　ride　was　blissfully　uneventful；　and　it　wasn’t　until　I
  was　standing　directly　outside　the　doors　of　our　office　suite　that　I
  decided　I　couldn’t　quit。　Aside　from　the　obvious—that　is；　it’d　be　too
  terrifying　to　do　it　unprepared；　she’d　probably　just　look　at　me　and
  say；　“No；　I　won’t　allow　you　to　quit”　and　then　what　would　I　say？—I
  had　to　remember　that　it　was　only　a　year　of　my　life。　A　single　year　to
  bypass　many　more　of　misery。　One　year；　12　months；　52　weeks；　365　days；
  of　putting　up　with　this　garbage　to　do　what　I　really　wanted。　It
  wasn’t　too　great　a　demand；　and　besides；　I　was　too　tired　to　even
  think　about　looking　for　another　job。　Way　too　tired。
  Emily　looked　up　at　me　when　I　walked　in。　“She’ll　be　right　back。　She
  just　got　called　up　to　Mr。　Ravitz’s　office。　Seriously；　Andrea；　what
  took　you　so　long？　You　know　that　she　es　down　on　me　when　you’re
  late；　and　what　can　I　tell　her？　That　you’re　smoking　cigarettes
  instead　of　buying　her　Coffee；　or　talking　to　your　boyfriend　instead
  of　getting　her　lunch？　It’s　not　fair—it’s　really　not。”　She　turned　her
  attention　back　to　her　puter；　a　resigned　expression　on　her　face。
  She　was　right；　of　course。　It　wasn’t　fair。　To　me；　to　her；　to　any
  semicivilized　human　being。　And　I　felt　bad　for　making　it　more
  difficult　for　her；　which　I　did　every　time　I　took　a　few　extra　minutes
  away　from　the　office　to　relax　and　unwind。　Because　every　second　I　was
  gone　was　another　second　that　Miranda　focused　her　relentless
  attention　on　Emily。　I　vowed　to　try　harder。
  “You’re　totally　right；　Em；　and　I’m　sorry。　I’ll　try　harder。”
  She　looked　genuinely　surprised　and　a　little　bit　pleased。　“I’d　really
  appreciate　it；　Andrea。　I　mean；　I’ve　done　your　job。　Iknow　how　much　it
  sucks。　Trust　me；　there　were　days　that　I　had　to　go　out　in　the　snow
  and　the　slush　and　the　rain　to　get　her　Coffee　five；　six；　seven　times
  in　a　single　day。　I　was　so　tired　I　could　barely　mov