“I　have　one　word：　screwed　up。　OK；　so　that　was　two。　You’ll　never
  imagine　what　happened。　Well；　of　course　you　will；　it　happens　all
  the—”
  “Cut　to　it；　Lil。　I’m　going　to　pass　out　any　minute。”
  “OK。　Cutest　guy　ever　came　to　my　reading　today。　Sat　through　the　whole
  thing　looking　absolutely　fascinated；　and　waited　for　me　afterward。
  Asked　if　he　could　take　me　for　a　drink　and　hear　all　about　the　thesis
  I　had　published　at　Brown；　which　he’d　already　read。”
  “Sounds　great。　What　was　he？”　Lily　went　out　with　different　guys
  almost　every　night　after　getting　off　work；　but　had　yet　to　plete
  her　fraction。　She　had　founded　the　Scale　of　Fractional　Love　one　night
  after　listening　to　a　few　of　our　guy　friends　rate　the　girls　they　were
  dating　on　their　own　invention；　the　Ten…Ten　Scale。　“She’s　a　six；
  eight；　B…plus；”　Jake　would　declare　of　the　advertising　assistant　he’d
  been　set　up　with　the　night　before。　It　was　assumed　everyone　knew　that
  it　was　a　ten…point　scale；　with　face　always　being　the　first　numerical
  ranking；　body　the　second；　and　personality　ing　in　last　with　a
  slightly　more　generalized　letter　grade。　Since　there　were　clearly
  more　factors　at　work　in　judging　guys；　Lily　devised　the　Fractional
  Scale；　which　had　a　total　of　ten　pieces　that　each　earned　a　point。　The
  Perfect　Guy　would　obviously　have　all　five　of　the　primary　pieces：
  intelligence；　sense　of　humor；　decent　body；　cute　face；　and　any　sort
  of　job　that　fell　under　the　generous　umbrella　of　“normal。”　Since　it
  was　next　to　impossible　to　find　The　Perfect　Guy；　someone　could　up
  their　fraction　by　earning　points　on　the　secondary　five；　which
  included　a　definitive　lack　of　psycho　ex…girlfriends；　psycho　parents；
  or　date…rapist　roommates；　and　any　sort　of　extracurricular　interests
  or　hobbies　that　weren’t　sports…　or　porn…related。　So　far；　the　highest
  anyone　had　received　was　a　nine…tenths；　but　he　had　broken　up　with
  her。
  “Well；　at　first　he　was　going　strong　at　seven…tenths。　He　was　a
  theater　major　at　Yaleand　he’s　straight；　and　he　could　discuss　Israeli
  politics　so　intelligently　that　he　never　once　suggested　that　we　‘just
  nuke　’em；’　so　that　was　good。”
  “Sure　sounds　good。　I　can’t　wait　for　the　clincher。　What　was　it？　Did
  he　talk　about　his　favorite　Nintendo　game？”
  “Worse。”　She　sighed。
  “Is　he　thinner　than　you？”
  “Worse。”　She　sounded　defeated。
  “What　on　earth　could　be　worse　than　that？”
  “He　lives　on　Long　Island—”
  “Lily！　So　he’s　geographically　undesirable。　That　doesn’t　make　him
  undateable！　You　know　better　than　to—”
  “With　his　parents；”　she　interrupted。
  Oh。
  “For　the　past　four　years。”
  Oh；　my。
  “And　he　absolutely　loves　it。　Says　he　can’t　imagine　wanting　to　live
  alone　in　such　a　big　city　when　his　mom　and　dad　are　such　great
  pany。”
  “Whoa！　Say　no　more。　I　don’t　think　we’ve　ever　had　a　seven…tenths　fall
  all　the　way　to　a　zero　after　the　first　date。　Your　guy　set　a　new
  record。　Congratulations。　Your　day　was　officially　worse　than　mine。”　I
  leaned　over　to　kick　my　bedroom　door　closed　when　I　heard　Shanti　and
  Kendra　e　Home　from　work。　I　heard　a　guy’s　voice　with　them　and
  wondered　if　either　of　my　roommates　had　boyfriends。　I’d　seen　them　a
  bined　total　of　only　ten　minutes　in　the　last　week　and　a　half；
  because　they　seemed　to　work　longer　hours　than　I　did。
  “That　bad？　How　could　your　day　be　bad？　You　work　infashion；　”　she
  said。
  There　was　a　quiet　knocking　on　the　door。
  “Hold　on　a　sec；　someone’s　here。　e　in！”　I　called　to　the　door；　much
  too　loud　for　the　tiny　space。　I　waited　for　one　of　my　quiet　roommates
  to　timidly　ask　if　I’d　remembered　to　call　the　landlord　to　put　my　name
  on　the　lease　（no）　or　bought　more　paper　plates　（no）　or　had　taken　down
  any　phone　messages　（no）；　but　Alex　appeared。
  “Hey；　can　I　call　you　back？　Alex　just　showed　up。”　I　was　thrilled　to
  see　him；　so　excited　that　he’d　surprised　me；　but　a　small　part　of　me
  had　been　looking　forward　to　just　taking　a　shower　and　crawling　into
  bed。
  “Sure。　Tell　him　I　say　hi。　And　remember　what　a　lucky　girl　you　are　for
  having　pleted　the　fraction　with　him；　Andy。　He’s　great。　Hold　on　to
  that　one。”
  “Don’t　I　know　it。　The　kid’s　a　goddamn　saint。”　I　smiled　in　his
  direction。
  “’Bye。”
  “Hi！”　I　willed　myself　to　first　sit　up；　then　stand　up　and　walk　over
  to　him。　“What　a　great　surprise！”　I　went　to　hug　him　but　he　backed
  away；　keeping　his　arms　behind　his　back。　“What’s　wrong？”
  “Nothing　at　all。　I　know　you’ve　had　such　a　long　week；　and；　knowing
  you；　I　figured　you　hadn’t　bothered　to　eat　yet；　so　I　brought　the　food
  to　you。”　He　pulled　a　huge　brown　paper　bag　from　behind　his　back；　one
  of　the　old…school　grocery　style　ones；　and　it　already　had　some
  delicious…smelling　grease　stains　on　it。　All　of　a　sudden；　I　was
  starving。
  “You　did　not！　How’d　you　know　that　I　was　sitting　here　this　very
  second；　wondering　how　I　was　going　to　motivate　to　find　food？　I　was
  just　about　to　give　up。”
  “So　e　here　and　eat！”　He　looked　pleased　and　pulled　open　the　bag；
  but　we　both　couldn’t　fit　on　the　floor　of　my　bedroom　together。　I
  thought　about　eating　in　the　living　room　since　there　was　no　kitchen；
  but　Kendra　and　Shanti　had　both　collapsed　in　front　of　the　TV
  together；　their　untouched　takeout　salads　open　in　front　of　them。　I
  thought　they　were　waiting　until　theReal　World　episode　they　were
  watching　was　over；　but　then　I　noticed　that　they’d　both　already
  fallen　asleep。　Sweet　lives　we　all　had。
  “Hold　on；　I　have　an　idea；”　he　said　and　tiptoed　to　the　kitchen。　He
  came　back　with　two　oversize　garbage　bags　and　spread　them　out　over　my
  blue　forter。　He　dug　into　the　greasy　bag　and　brought　out　two　giant
  burgers　with　everything　and　one　extra…large　order　of　fries。　He’d
  remembered　ketchup　packets　and　tons　of　salt　for　me；　and　even　the
  napkins。　I　clapped　I　was　so　excited；　although　a　quick　visual　of　the
  imagined　disappointment　on　Miranda’s　face　appeared；　one　that
  said；You？　You’re　eating　a　burger？
  “I’m　not　done　yet。　Here；　check　it　out。”　And　out　of　his　backpack　came
  a　fistful　of　tiny　vanilla　tea　lights；　a　bottle　of　screw…top　red
  wine；　and　two　waxy　paper　cups。
  “You’re　kidding；”　I　said　softly；　still　not　believing　that　he’d　put
  all　this　together　after　I’d　canceled　our　date。
  He　handed　me　a　cup　of　wine　and　tapped　it　with　his。　“No；　I’m　not。　You
  think　I　was　going　to　miss　hearing　about　the　first　week　of　the　rest
  of　your　life？　To　my　best　girl。”
  “Thank　you。”　I　said；　slowly　taking　a　sip。　“Thank　you；　thank　you；
  thank　you。”
  6
  “Ohmigod；　is　it　the　fashion　editor　herself？”　Jill　mock…shrieked　when
  she　opened　the　front　door。　“e　on　over　here　and　let　your　big
  sister　genuflect　a　li’l。”
  “Fashion　editor？”　I　snorted。　“Hardly。　Try　fashion　mishap。　Wele
  back　to　civilization。”　I　hugged　her　for　what　felt　like　ten　minutes
  and　didn’t　want　to　let　go。　It　was　hard　when　she’d　started　at
  Stanford　and　left　me　all　alone　with　our　parents　when　I　was　a　mere
  nine　years　old；　but　it　was　even　harder　when　she’d　followed　her
  boyfriend—now　husband—to　Houston。　Houston！　The　whole　placed　seemed
  drenched　in　humidity　and　infested　with　mosquitoes　to　the　point　of
  unbearability；　and　if　that　wasn’t　bad　enough；　my　sister—my
  sophisticated；　beautiful　big　sister　who　loved　neoclassical　art　and
  made　your　heart　melt　when　she　recited　poetry—had　developed　a
  southern　accent。　And　not　just　a　slight　accent　with　a　subtle；
  charming　southern　lilt；　but　an　all…out；　unmistakable；
  like…a…drill…through…the…eardrum　redneck　drawl。　I’d　yet　to　forgive
  Kyle　for　dragging　her　to　that　wretched　place；　even　if　he　was　a
  pretty　decent　brother…in…law；　and　it　didn’t　help　when　he　opened　his
  mouth。
  “Hey　there；　Andy　darlin’；　you’re　looking　more　beautiful　every　time　I
  see　you。”Yer　lookin’　more　beeyootiful　avery　time　I　see　ya　。　“What
  are　they　feeding　y’all　atRunway；　huh？”
  I　wanted　to　stick　a　tennis　ball　in　his　mouth　to　keep　him　from
  talking　anymore；　but　he　smiled　at　me　and　I　walked　over　and　hugged
  him。　He　might　sound　like　a　hick　and　grin　a　little　too　openly　and
  often；　but　he　tried　really　hard　and　he　clearly　adored　my　sister。　I
  vowed　to　make　a　sincere　effort　not　to　visibly　cringe　when　he　spoke。
  “It’s　not　really　what　I’d　call　a　feeding…friendly　kind　of　place；　if
  you　know　what　I　mean。　Whatever　it　is；　it’s　definitely　in　the　water
  and　not　the　food。　But　never　mind。　Kyle；　you　look　great　yourself。
  Keeping　my　sister　busy　in　the　city　of　misery；　I　hope？”
  “Andy；　just　e　and　visit；　sweetie。　Bring　Alex　along　and　y’all　can
  make　it　a　li’l　vacation。　It’s　not　that　bad；　you’ll　see。”　He　smiled
  first　at　me　and　then　at　Jill；