this　than　anything　else。”
  “You’re　right；　you’re　totally　right。”
  “And　besides；　it　would　guarantee　that　you’re　moving　to　New　York；
  which；　I　have　to　say；　is　very　appealing　to　me　right　now。”　He　kissed
  me；　one　of　those　long；　lazy　kisses　it　seemed　we　had　personally
  invented。　“But　stop　worrying　so　much。　Like　you　said　yourself；　you’re
  still　not　sure　you　have　the　job。　Let’s　wait　and　see。”
  We　cooked　a　simple　dinner　and　fell　asleep　watching　Letterman。　I　was
  dreaming　about　obnoxious　little　nine…year…olds　having　sex　on　the
  playground　while　they　swigged　forties　of　Olde　English　and　screamed
  at　my　sweet；　loving　boyfriend　when　the　phone　rang。
  Alex　picked　it　up　and　pressed　it　to　his　ear　but　didn’t　bother　to
  open　his　eyes　or　say　hello。　He　quickly　dropped　it　next　to　me。　I
  wasn’t　sure　I　could　muster　the　energy　to　pick　it　up。
  “Hello？”　I　mumbled；　glancing　at　the　clock　and　seeing　that　it　was
  7：15A　。M。　Who　the　hell　would　call　at　such　an　hour？
  “It’s　me；”　barked　a　very　angry…sounding　Lily。
  “Hi；　is　everything　OK？”
  “Do　you　think　I’d　be　calling　you　if　everything　was　OK？　I’m　so
  hungover　I　could　die；　and　I　finally　stop　puking　long　enough　to　fall
  asleep；　and　I’m　awakened　by　a　scarily　perky　woman　who　says　she　works
  in　HR　at　Elias…Clark。　And　she’s　looking　for　you。　Atseven…fifteen　in
  the　freakin’　morning。　So　call　her　back。　And　tell　her　to　lose　my
  number。”
  “Sorry；　Lil。　I　gave　them　your　number　because　I　don’t　have　a　cell
  yet。　I　can’t　believe　she　called　so　early！　I　wonder　if　that’s　good　or
  bad？”　I　took　the　portable　and　crept　out　of　the　bedroom；　quietly
  closing　the　door　as　I　went。
  “Whatev。　Good　luck。　Let　me　know　how　it　goes。　Just　not　in　the　next
  couple　hours；　OK？”
  “Will　do。　Thanks。　And　sorry。”
  I　looked　at　my　watch　again　and　couldn’t　believe　I　was　about　to　have
  a　Business　conversation。　I　put　on　a　pot　of　Coffee　and　waited　until
  it　had　finished　brewing　and　brought　a　cup　to　the　couch。　It　was　time
  to　call。　I　had　no　choice。
  “Hello；　this　is　Andrea　Sachs；”　I　said　firmly；　although　my　voice
  betrayed　me　with　its　deep；　raspy；　just…woke…up…ness。
  “Andrea；　good　morning！　Hope　I　didn’t　call　too　early；”　Sharon　sang；
  her　own　voice　full　of　sunshine。　“I’m　sure　I　didn’t；　my　dear；
  especially　since　you’ll　have　to　be　an　early　bird　soon　enough！　I　have
  some　very　good　news。　Miranda　was　very　impressed　with　you　and　said
  she’s　very　much　looking　forward　to　working　with　you。　Isn’t　that
  wonderful？　Congratulations；　dear。　How　does　it　feel　to　be　Miranda
  Priestly’s　new　assistant？　I　imagine　that　you’re　just—”
  My　head　was　spinning。　I　tried　to　pull　myself　off　the　couch　to　get
  some　more　Coffee；　water；　anything　that　might　clear　my　head　and　turn
  her　words　back　into　English；　but　I　only　sank　further　into　the
  cushions。　Was　she　asking　me　if　I　would　like　the　job？　Or　was　she
  making　an　official　offer？　I　couldn’t　make　sense　of　anything　she’d
  just　said；　anything　other　than　the　fact　that　Miranda　Priestly　had
  liked　me。
  “—delighted　with　this　news。　Who　wouldn’t　be；　right？　So　let’s　see；
  you　can　start　on　Monday；　right？　She’ll　actually　be　on　vacation　then；
  but　that’s　a　great　time　to　start。　Give　you　a　little　time　to　get
  acquainted　with　the　other　girls—oh；　they’re　all　such　sweeties！”
  Acquainted？　What？　Starting　Monday？　Sweetie　girls？　It　was　refusing　to
  make　sense　in　my　addled　brain。　I　picked　a　single　phrase　that　I’d
  understood　and　responded　to　it。
  “Um；　well；　I　don’t　think　I　can　start　Monday；”　I　said　quietly；　hoping
  I’d　indeed　said　something　coherent。　Saying　those　words　had　shocked
  me　into　semiwakefulness。　I’d　walked　through　the　Elias…Clark　doors
  for　the　very　first　time　the　day　before；　and　was　being　awakened　from
  a　deep　sleep　to　listen　to　someone　tell　me　that　I　was　to　begin　work
  in　three　days。　It　was　Friday—at　seven　o’clock　in　the　goddamn
  morning—and　they　wanted　me　to　start　on　Monday？　It　began　to　feel　like
  everything　was　spiraling　out　of　control。　Why　the　ridiculous　rush？
  Was　this　woman　so　important　that　she　needed　me　so　badly？　And　why
  exactly　did　Sharon　herself　sound　so　scared　of　Miranda？
  Starting　Monday　would　be　impossible。　I　had　nowhere　to　live。　Home
  base　was　my　parents’　house　in　Avon；　the　place　I’d　grudgingly　moved
  back　to　after　graduation；　and　where　most　of　my　things　remained　while
  I’d　traveled　during　the　summer。　All　of　my　interview…related　clothes
  were　piled　on　Lily’s　couch。　I’d　been　trying　to　do　the　dishes　and
  empty　her　ashtrays　and　buy　pints　of　Hä；agen…Dazs　so　she　wouldn’t　hate
  me；　but　I　thought　it　only　fair　to　give　her　a　much…needed　break　from
  my　unending　presence；　so　I　camped　out　on　weekends　at　Alex’s。　That
  put　all　of　my　weekend　going…out　clothes　and　fun　makeup　at　Alex’s　in
  Brooklyn；　my　laptop　and　mismatched　suits　at　Lily’s　Harlem　studio；
  and　the　rest　of　my　life　at　my　parents’　house　in　Avon。　I　had　no
  apartment　in　New　York　and　didn’t　particularly　understand　how
  everyone　knew　that　Madison　Avenue　ran　uptown　but　Broadway　ran　down。
  I　didn’t　actually　know　what　uptown　was。　And　she　wanted　me　to　start
  Monday？
  “Um；　well；　I　don’t　think　I　can　do　this　Monday　because　I　don’t
  currently　live　in　New　York；”　I　quickly　explained；　clutching　the
  phone；　“and　I’ll　need　a　couple　days　to　find　an　apartment　and　buy
  some　furniture　and　move。”
  “Oh；　well；　then。　I　suppose　Wednesday　would　be　OK；”　she　sniffed。
  After　a　few　more　minutes　of　haggling；　we　finally　settled　on　November
  17；　a　week　from　Monday。　That　left　me　a　little　more　than　eight　days
  to　find　and　furnish　a　Home　in　one　of　the　craziest　real　estate
  markets　in　the　world。
  I　hung　up　and　flopped　back　down　on　the　couch。　My　hands　were
  trembling；　and　I　let　the　phone　drop　to　the　floor。　A　week。　I　had　a
  week　to　start　working　at　the　job　I’d　just　accepted　as　Miranda
  Priestly’s　assistant。　But；　wait！　That’s　what　was　bothering　me　。　。　。
  I　hadn’t　actually　accepted　the　job　because　it　hadn’t　even　been
  officially　offered。　Sharon　hadn’t　even　had　to　utter　the　words　“We’d
  like　to　make　you　an　offer；”　since　she　took　it　for　granted　that
  anyone　with　some　semblance　of　intelligence　would　obviously　just
  accept。　No　one　had　so　much　as　mentioned　the　word　“salary。”　I　almost
  laughed　out　loud。　Was　this　some　sort　of　war　tactic　they’d　perfected？
  Wait　until　the　victim　was　finally　deep　into　REM　sleep　after　an
  extremely　stressful　day　and　then　throw　some　life…altering　news　at
  her？　Or　had　she　just　assumed　that　it　would　be　wasted　time　and　breath
  to　do　something　as　mundane　as　make　a　job　offer　and　wait　for
  acceptance；　considering　that　this　wasRunway　magazine？　Sharon　had
  just　assumed　that　of　course　I’d　jump　all　over　the　chance；　that　I’d
  be　thrilled　with　the　opportunity。　And；　as　they　always　were　at
  Elias…Clark；　she　was　right。　It　had　all　happened　so　fast；　so
  frenetically；　that　I　hadn’t　had　time　to　debate　and　deliberate　as
  usual。　But　I　had　a　good　feeling　that　thiswas　an　opportunity　I’d　be
  crazy　to　turn　down；　that　this　could　actually　be　a　great　first　step
  to　getting　toThe　New　Yorker　。　I　had　to　try　it。　I　was　lucky　to　have
  it。
  Newly　energized；　I　gulped　the　rest　of　my　Coffee；　brewed　another　cup
  for　Alex；　and　took　a　quick；　hot　shower。　When　I　went　back　into　his
  room；　he　was　just　sitting　up。
  “You’re　dressed　already？”　he　asked；　fumbling　for　the　tiny
  wire…rimmed　glasses　he　was　blind　without。　“Did　someone　call　this
  morning；　or　did　I　dream　that？”
  “Not　a　dream；”　I　said；　crawling　back　under　the　covers　even　though　I
  was　wearing　jeans　and　a　turtleneck　sweater。　I　was　careful　not　to　let
  my　wet　hair　soak　his　pillows。　“That　was　Lily。　The　HR　woman　from
  Elias…Clark　called　her　place　because　that’s　the　number　I　gave　them。
  And　guess　what？”
  “You　got　the　job？”
  “I　got　the　job！”
  “Oh；　e　here！”　he　said；　sitting　up　and　hugging　me。　“I’m　so　proud
  of　you！　That’s　great　news；　it　really　is。”
  “So　you　really　think　it’s　a　good　opportunity？　I　know　we　talked　about
  it；　but　they　didn’t　even　give　me　a　chance　to　decide。　She　just
  assumed　that　I’d　want　the　job。”
  “It’s　an　amazing　opportunity。　fashion　isn’t　the　worst　thing　on
  earth—maybe　it’ll　even　be　interesting。”
  I　rolled　my　eyes。
  “OK；　so　maybe　that’s　going　a　little　far。　But　withRunway　on　your
  résumé　and　a　letter　from　this　Miranda　woman；　and　maybe　even　a　few
  clips　by　the　time　you’re　done；　hell；　you　can　do　anything。The　New
  Yorker　will　be　beating　down　your　door。”
  “I　hope　you’re　right；　I　really　do。”　I　jumped　up　and　starting
  throwing　my　things　in　my　backpack。　“Is　it　still　OK　if　I　borrow　your
  car？　The　sooner　I　get　Home；　the　sooner　I　can